₦airaland Forum

What exactly are the implications of being disowned? Do your parents feed you and send you pocket money? A little child is involved here and you love this woman. Bros, it's time to man up and live-up to your responsibilities. At the end of the day, your parents are not the ones living your life for you and they are certainly not the ones bearing the consequences of your choices. Your parents are setting you up for a lifetime of unhappiness because abandoning your daughter and her mother now will be sowing seeds of bitterness that will bear fruit in unexpected ways in the future. What is even the guarantee that the Nigerian they want you to marry won't be the biggest w'hore in town? This is the one case where I would recommend ignoring parental wishes.

PS - Dayo and Freecocoa, you guys need to stop derailing this thread with your foolishness. Your banter is not remotely interesting to anybody and both of you come across as a little bit mentally challenged. Just saying.

dayokanu:
Maybe they were telling yu in parables

The Israel might be Jerusalem on high

OMG! I just re-read her post and realized that this is indeed the case. I am just surprised that nobody replaced the parable with plain words once she got older. I pray God gives you the strength and grace to deal with this reality oh.

Not really, sometimes though, I wish Oprah was my second mum so we can spend all her money!

Victory for Oando and MRS!!!!

jennykadry:
Mr kadry is not a drinker at all

Oh, the question is for your own benefit? Chei!!! Lovely! You should wait for comments from women. Like I said earlier, alcohol probably affects women differently.

jennykadry:
I don't mean excess of it, im Talking about in Moderation Here, say a Glass of Red Wine, a bottle or a can of heineken and so on, i am Not Talking about drinking to stupor here. Just small drink. Go back to my post you will see where I mentioned "Responsibly".

And yea I know about the side effects already

A glass of wine or a bottle of beer is certainly the perfect quantity to get your party Mr. Jennykadry started. It'll provide the inhibition-loss without reducing his performance. Of course, we are all giving you advice on the effects of alcohol on male sexuality. It probably works differently for women because women don't have "performance" issues to worry about and might have a different level of alcohol tolerance. Women in the house, how did alcohol affect your experience the last time you went to a club and got picked up by a man? Pray tell oh!

This woman has a lot more issues than we are addressing here. Mrs. CC and Ronkebp, please come back and re-do your advice; your previous ones were inadequate and will lead her to a failed, miserable life.

Why do I think you have deep-seated issues that won't go away even if you leave your current husband?

1) You can't renege on your marital vows simply because you have "fallen out of love". I don't know what type of marriage you had, Xtian or Muslim, but romantic love is only a small part of a marriage union. Like someone said earlier, what if you fall out of love with the next guy you meet? Are you planning on being a serial divorcee? Do you plan to have kids in the future? What about the kids?

2) So you also cheated on him but he doesn't know? And how many times have you made him pay penance for sins you are also guilty of? Women like you dey scare me oh. There is nothing like cheating "just happening". Why do women like to lie to themselves? You heart and body were ready to cheat and you took advantage of the next available man.

3) Nowhere in all this have you mentioned God. What role does God play in your life? What/who is filling the vacuum in your heart that only God can fill? Is this REALLY the issue? What has your pastor/religious leader said about this?

Overall, I don't think you should have gotten married in the first place. I am just not sure you have a full understanding of what marriage is about and you have not surrounded yourself with wise, experienced women mentors that can give you a lesson and reality check. You must know this though: you will be making a TERRIBLE mistake if you leave your husband's house because you have "fallen out of love". Except there is something else you aren't telling us. Good luck!

The slippers thing was hysterical! All Nigerian mothers, from all ethnic groups, do it! LOLLLLLLL!!!! Once I see her bending lower, I pick race oh!!!!!!!

jennykadry:
I hope I am not digressing but can I ask everyone here a question or two, CC SPOILT SERUBOBO ANALYTICAL MOREMI and others I forgot to mention, honest answers please

Does alcohol turn anyone of you on?

Is s3x after drinking responsibly better than just normal s3x?

You people should answer me now oo, ehnnnnn because I have been asking my husband these same question and he's been laughing at me

Alcohol doesn't turn you on sexually. When taken in limited quantities, it loosens your inhibitions a bit and you have wild, freaky, hair-pulling sex with somebody you just met or with your wife. However, one very negative effect is impotency. Sometimes, taking too much alcohol can cause your manhood to fail when its time for action. The failure is only temporary though but if you're a regular heavy drinker, it can be a bit embarrassing. I used to be a regular drinker but stopped drinking last year. I am talking from experience oh.

StarFlux:
I feel deeply offended by this thread. Labeling humans as "green card children" is extremely offensive, and the fact that people start laughing about it is even more offensive. As a half European and half Nigerian myself, I do not find this topic amusing like most of you seem to do. So are every Nigerian man marrying white women abroad only doing it for profit? Not only is such a thought ignorant; it is prejudice and pure evil. I happen to have a Nigerian father that originally married a white woman, but did not have kids with her. It is obvious it was done for the "green card". Even though this does not directly affect me, I still think it's wrong to label humans to make them seem less worthy. Do not put the blame on the kids for their father's mistake.

You are half European and half Nigerian. Why is this relevant to your argument. Did your Dad marry [b]another [/b]white woman after he divorced his green-card provider? If yes, are you sure that the first marriage was for green-card? If no, then your "gbaromi-deleru" is too much! Abeg jor!

serubawon:
Well, looks like the women have taken over (as usual), but that's all well and good. Who else will take over. You only let us men think we're in control anyway.

Any mother that sacrifices everything for her children needs to enjoy the rest of her days in happiness, peace and joy. My sisters and I threw a birthday bash for our mom that made other mothers look at their children with a look that said "see better children o." My dad couldn't even show his face out of shame. However, we took him to chinese buffet on his own birthday sha o. So, it wasn't a total loss for him. We could see it in his eyes that he felt cheated. Too bad. The woman suffered and sacrificed everything for us. Where does he think he earned anything? But, to err is human and to forgive is divine. So, he's forgiven (just gets different treatment, that's all). MOTHERS FOR EVER!!!

You're lucky that your Dad stayed around long enough for you guys to forgive. I didn't get that opportunity. My Dad passed away before we got the chance to be reconciled. He died in a rented apartment and with 600k in his account (he sold the very last of his houses for N30 million about 7years ago). Guess who paid for his funeral? My Mum!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The story came full-circle and was the talk of the town for weeks! Imagine the woman you abandoned in the eighties and left to suffer with your children being the only one there to give you a befitting burial a couple of decades later?!!! Many of his friends, grown men, wept because they were so shocked at my Mum's generosity. It made me love my Mum even more because I know she paid for the funeral only because as God would have it, my Dad passed away the year I and my siblings were ALL at different stages of finishing graduate school and couldn't afford a penny in contribution!

Pictures, please? My uncle is from Owo. I am pretty sure I have met this king before, but I need to see pics to know for sure. The Owo culture is very similar to the Edo culture (at least their women's dressing).

marabout:
Sade was born in Nigeria. That her dad used her mum for residence permit is news to me.

I those days, Nigerians didn't need work permit in UK. Even when it became mandatory, it was easy to get. In any case, most Brtish-educated Nigerians (like Sade's dad) quickly went back home to work as there were plum jobs waiting.

I grew up around mixed race kids whose dads typically returned with a European wife after studies abroad. When they divorced in Naija, some of the naija dads got custody of the kids. This kind of prompted some white mums to stay in Naija (obviously in a different house) while the kids were still young and some returned to Europe.

Of course most the mixed race kids moved abroad typically after Uni

Please check your facts.

The issue of using for green card/residence permit is more complex  than people think. The issue of anbandonment is even more complex. After divorce, some women use the kids a tool to punish the man. Some men just give up.

There were several families like this in university towns. Most of the kids moved back abroad for university studies.

ebonyvibe:
I can see many peoples point of view but this girl I know her and don't think her aim was to get pregnant for a married man.

I meet this guy once whilst she was pregnant and he was all over her; her point now is when her knows that he is married why let her keep the baby why not ask her to get rid of it and led her on till she gives birth.

He still wants to be with her as long as his house wife does not know of the newborn ( I mean what the f***)

I just spoke with her and asked her to really be honest with me if she realized he was married and she said no and I honestly believe her. She only added that when she was three months pregnant he told her  he was a divorcee and about five months he said he was in hospital she insisted to visit him for several days with him insisting she doesn't come cos of infection and her condition only for him to say the ex wife and kids are around and he didn't know how to tell her she was only staying cos of the kids

The lies continued until he eventually fessed up and by then she had already had the baby but agreed to support her now plus him support or attention she doesn't get but he still want her to keep it from the so called ex

This still doesn't absolve her stupidity. She got pregnant for a guy and had the baby without a marriage certificate. The best she can possibly hope for is child support. The worst that can happen is that he moves to Nigeria or to the US with the housewife and she never sees him again. This is what happens to stupid people. No sympathy here, sorry.

erico2k2:
OP this is sickening,how could you sit there are term someone a green card child?sometimes we Nigerians could be sooo Insencitive and there are even guys here laughing about it, did these kids asked to be born under such circumstances? dunno why the MOD even allowed this to surface let alone make front page.

Were you a Green Card Child? Or do you have Green Card children? Did you (they) feel abandoned? Please share your story with all of us so we can learn from your experience.

Who locked this topic?

tlops:
Most likely, the woman was in business of green card!

I don't think so! The other babies belong to Americans (one white, one Latino and the other ones African-American, I think. It's hard to know since I rarely seen all of them together at one time)

My uncle had a baby with a fat, ugly and piss-poor African American lady before marrying his wife. He tries to take care of her but it doesn't help that her mother has 4 other kids for different men (all her kids are different ethnicities!!!!!) She'll get over it one day. Especially because her mum is till piss-poor and my uncle get small change and a giant house in the surburbs.

This is a simple case of scheming gone wrong. How could she have had a baby with a guy without meeting his family and friends? Without insisting on marriage? Are you sure she didn't know the man was already married and wanted to snatch somebody else's husband?! Well, she gets exactly what she deserves! Hopefully, she gets some child support out of the whole situation. I am guessing she will now "find" Jesus and start hunting for an innocent brother to marry her in church! Chei!!!!!!!!!!!!

spoilt:
Happy new year everyone! I have been incredibly overwhelmed with career and family. Its a never ending juggling act. Anyway here I am. Can't stay away from you guys.
Ehen Salsera, I dey on the constant lookout for you but na your location no dey help matters. Two out of four no bad sha. Lol.

Serubawon, how you dey? New year new opportunities abi? Keep on keeping on
@ Moremi2008, they think your mother is a witch huh? Because she scrapped her kids to success through sheer sacrifice? Unbelievabley funny. You couldn't have cracked a funnier joke.

To all the married womenfolk here with kids, how do you do it? I am that woman who is constantly on the go. Sometimes it gets so overwhelming and I just want to bawl! How do you guys stay sane?? Aside from destressing with you know what. . . . . . .  .  .  .ehehe ehe ehe.

You know how naija people are now. My mum and the kids did really well but my dad squandered all his wealth. The typical Nigerian mind, lazy from a rich diet of Africa Magic, automatically thinks it's my mum exacting revenge on my dad for abandoning us! Of course, she must be a witch to have all those powers!