₦airaland Forum

With groundnut, soy milk and a sugar-replacement. Yum!!!!!!!!!!! I drink garri at least once a day, usually for breakfast. LOL!!!!!!!!!!! Sorry, but it's better than cereal or oatmeal.

This woman doesn't love you. Please, don't take her back no matter what she says. She's only shedding crocodile tears. Imagine her giving you an ultimatum that "this will be my last time of saying this" while begging you to take her back!!!! That woman hasn't changed! If you bring her back, she will be good for a few months and then as soon she feels secure again, she will start back where she left off, this time with seven more devils helping her. The next time, you might not even survive it! A wife should be your help-meet and partner. She should support you and create a happy home for you to return to, not a nest of trouble and high-blood pressure.

Unfortunately, that's the way it works with bureaucratic visa processing. You have to follow the rules to a "T". Why didn't your wife borrow money for a couple of months to add to her account? Wait a while for her to save enough money to meet the requirement and then re-apply with original documents. Good luck!

Cultures that practice polygamy condone male infidelity because men in such cultures are expected to have multiple female partners. Cultures that practice polygamy also tend to be very patriarchal and misogynist. In such cultures, women are expected to be dependent on their fathers, brothers or husbands for sustenance and are thus deprived of agency and power in marital situations. It doesn't help matters that a woman would rather share her man than be cast out into the streets with her children, penniless. Most Nigerian cultures are like this, unfortunately.

This is just sad. I wish they had been caught in the US, they would have both been sentenced to death. In the UK, they'll probably get 7 years max.

dayokanu:
That your aunt is a bad woman ooooo

Ah ah wicked person So she cant allow you to live there for life? No be people dey dash people houses?

Did she provide bed for you or chairs in your house? If not she is evil. Doesnt she know Port harcourt is hard to survive.

Whats the big deal? She cant even tell Ireland NEPA to connect your house to Ireland grid?, She cant even lay pipe to Atlantic Ocean to give you water?

What else? She cant even pull your organs out to help you urinate, She cant even help you open your mouths to put food inside.

God save us from wicked Aunties

Shebi you just lived there for ordinary 10yrs, I know Mama Audu she was allowed to stay for 200yrs in her sisters house

LOL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is why I wanted to know the OP's age. I think she is very young and doesn't realize how immature and silly she sounds complaining because her aunt's 10-year benevolence is about to expire.

G4-2012:
Ma Outstrip, you cannot crucify a family member for helping out a loved one when you believe the person needs your support. The way things work aboard, if you don't have family to help, you are on your own. And as I pointed out we only confirmed recently that indeed he gambles, (meaning no-one knows when it actually started) which is a disturbing news to everyone.

Well, I opened this thread because like I said, I think there is still hope to get him out of his mess. Even if he will not eventually get married and have kids, he can still get his act together. So far I have gotten a majority of negative responses. I need more positive inputs please.

Prayer is a way to go now plus no more hand outs.

I think you are getting mostly negative inputs because of your uncle's age. He is too old to be "helped" in the way most people know how to help behavioral addicts. You can't force him to do anything he doesn't want to do and as you haven't been close to him for a very long time, you can't figure out his psychological triggers unless he tells you himself. Your best bet is to just pray for him and don't feed his bad habit by giving him money. Good luck oh!

Like others have rightly pointed out, it is incredibly rare for a woman to willingly leave her young children for 18yrs. Has she stayed in touch at all or did she just "disappear"? Why Israel? Does she know anybody there? I am afraid there's a deep, dark secret your family is keeping from you.

Why is a financially unstable father of 2 looking to get married in the first place? Who will take care of all 3 of them? Or is the man hoping your friend is going to become the family bread winner?

Both you are prayer partners so you aren't strangers to God. She needs to seek God's face PERSONALLY in fasting and praying. God is not an author of confusion. He will answer her and manifest Himself to confirm or dis-confirm the pastor's words if she asks with an open heart.

I don't see how this is different from polygamy or polyandry.

Outstrip:
Your family have already contributed to the problem. Why would you give a gambler money. They have now uselessed him and now trying to trick some poor ignorant woman into marrying him and possibly ruining her life. Keep giving him money. That should solve all his problems

Ditto. From what you have described, he will not be open to any type of family intervention. Your family needs to cut him off, completely. He is 51 years old for heaven's sake!

Very touching story. I saw it on the front page of Hints last week too!

All that glitters isn't gold. How do you know how happy the marriage is? Do you know whether her husband has stopped having sex with her? Do you know what this wealthy husband does in his spare time? Do you know whether his wealthy friend has another wife in another city? You just can't tell how happy a marriage is until you get really, really close. Just ask her, abi? You're not exactly an innocent man yourself.

God is her ultimate master. Your sexual needs are secondary. Are you also a Christian? Will you die if she doesn't kiss you for a while?

Wait a minute, your parents let you live in a house without water and electricity for 7 years?!!!! How did you even find money to get on the internet?! How old are you? Your story is jaw-dropping but not for the reasons you think.

The poor can't afford justice in Nigeria.

I am not married but the general price for a decent middle-class Nigerian wedding in the U.S. for about 100-150 guests (by middle class, I mean husband=engineer, and wife=nurse type of wedding) is about $50k. The couple spends ~$20-25k and the family spends the rest. If both families are rich, the budget might go up an additional $25k-$50k. I know this because all my friends are married!!!!!!!!!! Aaaargghhh!!! One day, one day it will be my turn oh, IJN!

mukina2:
[img]http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg877/scaled.php?tn=0&server=877&filename=gjixa.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640[/img]

[img]http://desmond.yfrog.com/Himg863/scaled.php?tn=0&server=863&filename=najt.jpg&xsize=640&ysize=640[/img]

Awwwwww, see Ibadan "thugs" smiling for the camera! See policemen in the background doing their business-as-usual egunje collection! How wonderful!

dmainboss:
They look like passengers waiting for transportation. How can you call a group of about 30 people going in different directions a real protest. Is that the protest that will change Nigeria? hmmmmm

Thank you jare! She dat one be protest?! I am a proper Ibadan boy and that sparse group is just an embarrassment!

Jobless Ibadan people!

jennykadry:
@ moremi

So glad you guys turned out well.  If you are not married I pray you find the right woman for you. I know of someone that passed through something similar. Found a fiancée got married to her and before you can say jack robinson , the woman was giving him in necessary ultimatums to chose between her and his mother, simply because he never hid he fact that he loved his mother so much. Women, our wahala too much, like she was there or even went through half of what his mother went through for him.


Happy new year serubobo

Sister Jenny!!!!! What are you? A mind-reader? Hahaha! I have had issues like that with girlfriends in the past (in fact, I just broke up with one for similar reasons). Thankfully, my mum is too prayerful for that kind of thing to happen. She always prays that the woman I marry is going to be her friend and daughter. To be honest, I can't see myself marrying a woman who doesn't like my mum or my family. They are really important parts of my story and journey.

There is nothing else to discuss here. You have no business marrying this man. One thing you must remember is that it takes a LOT for a woman to walk away from an engagement. That should have been your very first red flag that there is more to this man than he is presenting to you. Thank God you found out before he wifed you and unleashed his madness. Just move on with your life. God will bring you the man he created specially for you!

.

Ok, I am usually on here to have fun and say whatever nonsense entertains me at the moment but this thread really took me by surprise. I read all 13 pages non-stop and I am truly touched by the tone and message. I have honestly never seen anything like it on the Internet, period.

Mr Serubawon - God is your strength. You story is compelling and powerful. Thank you so much for sharing. My parents marriage fell apart when I was 4 years old and I was raised by my Mum. My Dad was a monster - a wife-beating, womanizing, alcoholic, smoking, spend-thrift, stingy, malicious monster. He abandoned us emotionally, physically and financially. I thank God for a hardworking, god-fearing and loving mum who sacrificed everything she had to raise us. I remember when she would buy us Xmas clothes so that we won't be ashamed at school/church but she would borrow clothes from my aunt for herself on Xmas. All the while, my father would be flaunting his wealth around town with small, small ashawo girls. Today we are doing extremely well (and my Mum's career is doing fantastic). Others that knew us back then still open their mouths in wonder at how we all turned out (some even call my Mum a witch! LOL!) But it was all God (and prayer and fasting!). Hang in there with your kids oh! You might think they don't know anything but they know and will remember every sacrifice you are making. Being a single-parent isn't easy but if done right, the rewards are sweeter than honey because God sees and rewards everything. Good luck with your kids! I am sure they'll turn out fantastic, IJN!

ps - we are all rooting for you oh! I am sure there is a woman out there who is praying for a man just like you and vice-versa! God will bring you guys together in due time, IJN!

Lasinoh:
My prerogative. . . mind your phocking business and stop quoting me.
I previously ignored your useless azzze before madam the first time. . . but you are still dying for attention. . . no need using one of more of you cowardly handles to reply me ok?
Madam TOH! Mind your business!
Always creeping around like the miserable, unhappy soul you were born to die as.
Even if I have words with another of your handles. . .do you have to come and stoke the embers?
In your usual typical personification of 'slime'!
Dynamite. . DeReloaded o. . . KarnaMode o. . . SYPHILLIS . . .
Get lost. I have patronized you enough. You ghetto trash!

If I go below the belt or into the gutter with one of your handles. . . you deserve it. You wretched Yoruba coward!
Moremi o. . morenike o. . .Ileke Idi or OBO ILE. . . .or what ever you choose to call yourself is not my business.

Now step! You wretched omo-dorty nasty wench!

Once a body. . .always a busy body.


LEARN TO MIND YOUR BUSINESS. . .YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PHOCKING BEING WITH YORUBA BLOOD IN YOU MADAM.

Now, get lost and stay lost!

What is wrong with this insane lady? Who stole your husband? Why are you so angry at the world? Poor thing.

Lasinoh:
Reading through the thread!

OMG!!! The man is on this thread!!!

https://www.nairaland.com/nigeria/topic-826733.128.html
 

Must be an Igbo man for sure!

Take it easy! This guy appears to be based in Lagos. I doubt she jumped the bridge over a Lagos bobo.

PS- Stop hitting below the belt with Olari! It makes you sound petty and pretty stupid.

Nadanbata:
Western Propaganda. What proof we have this 'Boko Haram'. Jus cause Yahoo says? I dey laugh o

So if these men aren't Boko Haram, why are they claiming to speak for BH and why are they making ultimatums? It just doesn't make sense except there is a larger international game at play.

I just took a look at screen grabs (see attached pic and the yahoo news link for the pic) from the recent Boko Haram video giving Southerners a 3-day ultimatum to leave the North. These guys can't possibly be Boko Haram for the following reasons:

1) There is something wrong physique of the men in the video. They are just way too thick-set/fat/muscular to be Hausa/Funlani commando warriors. I have seen plenty Northerners in my days and only their "big men" and older men look like this. This isn't a serious or conclusive clue but it was what initially triggered my doubts.

2) I then took a closer look at the little bits of exposed skin in the video and discovered that there is something wrong with the skin tone. The hands look like they were dyed black and a few of the men forgot to dye the little bits of skin around their eyes! Look very closely at the picture (especially the better quality grab from Yahoo) and you'll notice the skin color is off and uneven around the hands. In particular, notice that the 5th man on the right has pale/olive skin around his eyes!

My evidence isn't conclusive but I strongly suspect that this is actually Al Queda and that those men are Arab. If my suspicions are correct, then we might have a bigger problem than we
previously thought. Is Al Queda slowly taking over a weak Islamic sect for its own purposes? Is the goal to draw the US into this fracas and turn Nigeria into another Iraq/Afghanistan/Somalia?

What do you guys think?

http://news.yahoo.com/photos/world-events-1316137200-slideshow/boko-haram-claimed-responsibility-wave-bombings-nigeria-christmas-photo-093824119.html

MRbrownJAY:
****MBJ does the sign of the cross****
however you may wanna look at it, you are bound for failure. . . . . . . .especially when "maintaining your figure" is how you plan on achieving this "dream". your wake up call will be coming very soon, i hope you dont sell yourself to the first donkey that comes your way, out of desperation. we all had dreams about different things in our childhood, BUT as we grew up, we all understood and separate FANTASY from REALITY.


any normal human being will have a PLAN B (especially with such fairytale dreams), hopefully you are also working on yours?!
sadly, your whole agenda IS irrational, so there is nothing to worry about.

instead of taking their marital status as a CLUE (i doubt they were dreaming of marrying a POOR man), you keep on beating your head thinking about achieving that dream of yours.

i am sorry but i just have to ask you:
- what exactly do you have to offer apart from a nice figure?
- as a trophy gf/wife, how do you plan on keeping that celebrity (who has seen his fair share of desperate women like you) interested in you for more than a few months?
- what are your plans AFTER you achieve that dream? is that THE END?
- does this celebrity/rich man has to have any criteria or you are so desperate that you are willing to settle with any donkey out there?
- how low are you willing to go to get this rich man? second wife/sugar daddy/mistress/high maintenance whoring, which will you accept?

Thanks for taking the time to talk sense into her dull head. Why do some women think they have something a thousand other desperate women don't have? Does she realize how DESPERATE some women are to marry celebrities in the US? Is she willing to pay the price and cut her losses when she turns one day over 30? What then, after that? Is she willing to risk herpes, HIV, drug/alcohol dependency, abortions, a. n. a. l. fissures, r. a. p. e. by multiple men, and severe beatings in exchange for designer shoes and bags? This girl barely knows what she's talking about. I have had female friends who courted this dream and suffered badly (these "celebrity" men aren't dumb; they are vicious and they will use any desperate woman in horrible ways and then dump them). She needs to go search the web for horror stories and start thinking of a new get-rich-quick plan immediately.

Would Nigerians rather have the government pay for imported oil that ends up in Niger Republic or Togo? I don't understand why they aren't focused on improving government accountability instead of defending a totally stupid subsidy that has already gone on too long.

chaircover:
When we moved our son was the only black kid in his school but with time he made lots of friends. What helped at the time was that he did other activities outside of the school such as tennis & football so he met the kids out of the school setting and friendships developed from there and he settled pretty quickly

One thing I also want to mention is that maybe the girls are more sensitive to these things than boys. My daughter attends a school where I'd say 20% of the kids are black so she is in the midst of others, but I found that she is more conscious of her looks, weight, clothes, hair etc  than our son.

I think that the first thing is for the parents to try and get the kid to open up to them to make sure that the kid isnt being called names or being bullied and act appropriately if she is.

Parents should also encourage the child and let the child know that different doesnt mean bad.

Chaircover, how is this possible in Nigeria? Abi you don run go Jand, ni?

Anyway, the best thing this lady can do is to make sure her daughter spends quality time in positive, black organizations or communities. Nothing will boost her self confidence more than seeing herself as part of a successful majority for the first time. She needs to understand that her current situation is temporary and that there are lots of super-successful blacks out there that she will meet in college or thereafter.

All this drama after only one week?! You're not serious. Please get out of here with this nonsense!