₦airaland Forum

mutter:
Moremi, Thanks for the hint. I think I have to teach them that too!!! I mean you never knoe who they grt married to, they might want to teach their wives.

Just make sure you get their father's approval before commencing lessons. God knows I won't let me sons anywhere near a kitchen. They can go learn how to cook once they get out of my house.

davidylan:
Tonak has 12 posts on this forum total, 5 of which (almost 50%) are on this thread alone. The above post is the ONLY post he has ever made on his wife that relates to him being "obsessed" with his wife with cheating". Is this the "history" you based your warped opinion on? Odd.

Secondly, you said he has no evidence of his wife's cheating . . . if YOUR husband maintained regular contact with an ex, what would you do differently?

Why are you even bothering? You can't convince her that those ghosts in her head don't exist!

Outstrip:
You just come across like the kind of husband that hides in the bushes and puts tracking devices in his wife's car. Anyway maybe you guys need to be at the very least separated for now. The fact that she just walked out quietly shows that she has already checked out of the marriage. She was even shopping for replacement daddy for the child. That is really bad. Your marriage has been damaged for a long time and it is not what happened even a year ago that caused it. Everything about you shows that you are over bearing and sneaky. Even this last fight was a conversation you were eaves dropping on. Bottom line is she does not respect you and you do not respect her. I feel bad for the child.

How did you conclude that he is sneaky and overbearing from this thread? Or are you only responding to the ghosts in your head? Haba, sister!

Love tends to cloud judgement and to blind us to red flags. It's really sad that you married a woman that doesn't love you. I was going to marry a woman that didn't love me and she behaved the way your wife is behaving too! She would always talk about how sexy she finds other guys but I was too much in love with her to notice at first.

If all the things you describe are true, then this woman has a wandering eye and has allowed herself to be seduced by lies and fake gold. Those men won't marry her! They are just lying to her to get her to open her legs. I honestly don't know what to tell you about forgiving her in the future (there is a 80% chance that she'll be back on her knees begging because the world out there is harsh and cold). At that time, you can decide with the help of your family and pastor if you should take her back or move on permanently with your life.

As you begin to live-out the first few months of being a separated man, don't use this opportunity to start philandering and drinking excessively – that isn't going to help. Instead, spend the time praying, soul searching and refocusing on your personal and professional goals. Whether you chose to admit this now or not, your failed marriage has left you with battle scars that only TIME and spiritual food will heal. Please, take the time to become whole again, emotionally and spiritually, before jumping into new relationships. No woman deserves a man with unhealed scars caused by another woman.

Overall, please keep a special place in your heart for your first son, your first fruit. No man can replace you in his life and you need to remain in his life and cultivate a PERSONAL relationship with him. He'll remember this when he's old and thank you for it.

We all make terrible mistakes but all things work together for good for those who love and trust God. God is with you even in this difficult moments of confusion, hurt and anger. He'll see you through and no matter what happens, he will remain God. Good luck oh, bros!

Na wa oh! See drama!

question:
^^^ Google it.

Don't be stupid! You try finding out how surrogacy works in Nigeria on Google. Just say you're also pretty ignorant about it instead of being facetious.

accusedman:
It's so easy for people to make judgements based on one side of the story. i'm not going to make a case for myself here because i'm not guilty. My wife knows that i don't like addressing issues when i'm angry but has decided to respond in the heat of anger. She knows all my ex girlfriends, she has passwords to all my emails, facebook, ATM. i have kept no secrets from her. I HAVE NEVER and will NEVER cheat on my wife. We men sometimes lie based on certain reasons. sometimes it is because we dont want to hurt the other party. My wife claims that we agreed not to keep correspondence with our ex but did do just that until recently. All i can say is the devil is at work. people want 2 see our marriage crash but i will work harder at keeping it than when we were going to get married. she is overreacting. All my exes know i'm married and a no go area. when she calms down and gets over her emotion it will all be sorted. finally, before i got married i never cheated how much more, now that i'm married.

How did I miss this?!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Ohhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!

LadyT:
I dont see the point of putting an age to marriage. Yes we women have limited fertility time but I would rather marry age 30 or later for life then marry age 23 and divorce by age 45!

Why do women like comforting themselves all sorts of bogus lies. It's better to marry at the age of 30?!!! Chei!!! Are you sure you are thinking through the implications of marrying at 30+? So what will you be doing when your friend's children are entering secondary school and you are still single? Who will you find to be on your bridal train at your old age? Will you go and beg your "mama" friends to squeeze into bridesmaid dresses for you? You do know that doctors encourage women to stop having babies by the age of 40, right? Besides, which young man wan marry madam? I hope you know that by the time you knack 33, you will only be attracting chronic bachelors under pressure, divorcees, widowers and whor-whor leftovers? Abeg, stop wishing bad thing on yourself oh! Most Nigerian women that are single in their 30s are not single by choice.

You might want to stay in a failed marriage because of your child, but what about the man? Are you sure he won't ultimately dump both of you for his ex? You don't have the support of his family and you've now lost the support of your husband. What exactly is there to save? Thank God it's only one child. You might want to consider cutting your losses and moving on. Or be prepared to be in a polygamous marriage. That baby is his, BTW.

Walk away and ask my spouse to deal with the errant parent. A marriage is greater than any old woman's foolishness.

Why do women want to have their cake and eat it too? They want the man to woo, wine, dine, buy gifts, buy flowers, open the door, close the door, carry grocery bags and then common cook they can't do?!! Chei!!!! No wonder single sisters plenty for church!

To all those claiming ancient traditions of intense wooing, I hope you're also claiming the part where the man finally gets the woman to marry him and then turns her into free farm labor and baby machine. I also hope you're claiming the part where the man finally plants enough yams with the help of the wife and her 7+ children and then uses those same yams to go marry Nkechi, the fresh, young damsel as a second wife! The modern marriage has just a little in common with the marriages your great grandparents had in the village. Be careful what you wish for oh!

mutter:
That`s one pretty girl with her head screwed on right.
She has allot of value for our tradition and is proud of her roots.
She is right a man has to woo a woman and want her for her personality.
What she is saying is absolutely in line with African tradition. When was it ever the duty of a girlfriend to cook for a boyfriend and chase after him. Those are duties she takes up as a wife. This young lady made it clear that she was ready to cook for her husband. She also sees nothing wrong in cooking for a bf if it is your absolute wish but not as a means of getting him to marry you.
One needs to listen to her without bias. Well as a mother I would be absolutely disappointed if my daughter was going contrary to this advise. That would mean no self esteem and that I have failed her.
Incidentally my boys also love cooking. It is a big time hobby in our family. At age 10 my kids can already cook and bake easy stuff and make salad.

Can your boys also apply make-up and tie gele?

Is your roommate Nigerian? Otherwise, wetin come concern you? Don't you have classes to attend?

armyofone:
na lie
one told me he has ring already for me and dead serious after eating the meal i brought for a potluck event for my class. my jollof and ofe crayfish was to die for . the jollof and crayfish stew didn't last on the table. the oyinbos asked for recipe but african guys asked for my email address and phone number
enjoy your double whopper as long as it shall last.

You were cooking for boys. My comment was referring to real men. A real man will appreciate good cooking but not marry you over it. You should be scared of a man that wants to marry you solely for your cooking. That kin man go eat poison and love potion outside the marital home.

Just curious, is this Aunty married now? Because her video was just a train wreck of bad advice. Why do girls expect to be wined and dined and then ordinary cook they cannot do? What will it cost them to cook for two occasionally? Why do girls think that guys don't know how to feed themselves? If a guy chooses to eat at your place, it's because he likes you and not because he is hungry and can't go organize McDonalds. Sorry, I can't marry a woman that refuses to cook for me. Period. You can go practice that kin nonsense in your father's house.

nike4luv:
Again, I've just had to remove some people's post. Final warnings guys. I will either delete/block this thread if care is not taken.

@Moremi, If you have offered your advice, let it end there. Commenting on earlier conduct/misconduct of the OP does not help.

Thanks.

Aunty Nike, I have sinned. Please forgive me. Thank God I am going to church today. I need prayers to stop judging people for entertainment purposes (but God knows she was asking for it).

jennykadry:
All these multiple personality disordered people sef. Hmmmpffff, u people should not come and corrupt this section a beg una.

Sister Jenny, I hope you aren't referring to me.

tpia@:
A headline on bbc today reads

south africa's lethal scramble for university places.

And it gives detals about how black south africans are desperately scrambling to get a university education.

9000 applications for 800 places at the university of johannesburg. People queueing all night to submit last minute applications, etc etc.

Nigerian agencies will soon move there.

I mean those agencies or is it travel agents who ferry people into higher institutions for a fee.

yup, read that in the NYT.

queensmith:
I was waiting for that, you assuming I’m uneducated is beyond preposterous!
With that I feel foolish trying to debate with you, but I’ll bless you with some of my prestigious education: DWith this statement you’ve contradicted everything written below and nullified your argument, again I’ll overlook your ignorance.
Statistics show us that 99% of statistics are made up on the spot! Show me an academic journal  not backed by a university proving this conclusion and we can talk! Let’s assume this statement is true, It’s in no way equivalent to ‘most high earners are bachelor degree holders’
In fact the highest paying jobs are those that don’t require a degree of any sort. Just a GCSE certificate and some vocational training.
In addition to that the four years wasted in university are salary earning years, talk less of the money potentially wasted on the degree. Those that don’t go to university tend to be much better off. Another one of your baseless assumptions, do I even need to mention the richest business men around the world? How many degrees does Richard Branson have?
I think this mentality is something else that holds Nigeria and Nigerians back, your Harvard graduate Finance Minister seeming like an  on TV where she proves she doesn’t even understand basic economic concepts.

I might also add, if the world’s economists and bankers are soo intellectually capable then why is the world in recession? How much does this soo called knowledge really help

I won't bother pulling up data you can find on wikipedia for you (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Household_income_in_the_United_States) . Bachelors degree holders out-earn high school diploma holders in the US. Nobody with any education at all can debate that.

Richard Branson is an anomaly. For every Richard Branson, there is a Warren Buffet, a Bernard Arnault and a Lakshmi Mittal (and a million Romneys, Kravis's and Obamas).

You can't be serious with that quip on Okonjo-Iweala or you don't know what the field of "economics" is.

queensmith:
and if your small minded beliefs make you think university is the all way and only way. then i pity you and your children.
her *** life or her ultimate goal as you call it *rolls eyes* has nothing to do with it. This is a very valid and common dilemma that when unapproached leads to people wasting their time and lives living a path thats not thiers.

Attending university is nonsense. esp in countries like the US or the UK- dropping out and working towards marrying a celebrity produces better prospects than goin uni!

dont believe me? tell the cast of essex!

Oh, now I see where you're coming from. You clearly aren't particularly well-educated yourself. Otherwise, you would recognize that the implicit assumptions in your argument are ridiculous. Life is a game of probability. The chances of leading a successful life in the US are significantly reduced without a college degree. The statistics say it all. Bachelors degree holders out-earn by far high school diploma holders. Besides, successful businesses across the world are more complex than ever; the analytic tools of a business degree have never been more helpful. A family business that's thriving today might be gone tomorrow. An investment in one's mind is an investment that lasts a lifetime; nobody can take your intellectual capital away from you.

queensmith:
^^ what u on abt? what does that have to do with anything? if she has a problem can she not ask about resolving it?
Just because you dont share the same principles doesnt mean hers are not valid? if you dont like it you can simply not comment and move on with your life?

theres no law that states you need to contribute?

kmt this is my problem with nigerian men i swear, when things dont lie in their dimensions the only solution is to start insulting the women. kmt

When a 20-year old girl comes on here to ask if she should drop out of university, I think it's important that contributors know that this woman's life goal is to marry a celebrity and that she gets her congo shined without protection by strangers within hours of meeting them in Lagos. This has nothing to do with "dimensions".

It's unfortunate that the mods deleted prior threads. I think it's unfair to let well-meaning contributors offer this girl advice without knowing that this same girl came to NL a few days ago asking for advice on how to catch a rich celebrity husband and informing NL that she had her congo shined by a stranger the same day she met him on a flight to Lagos. Whor, whor girls deserve to be told the truth.

Censoring again! I give up! Yes, drop out. Good luck.

Why doesn't the husband just marry a junior wife and give the house maid bele and take the baby? Isn't that what typically happens in Nigeria? I don't understand this surrogacy thing. Can somebody please explain it better. Does the husband impregnate the surrogate and then the surrogate gives up the baby after birth?

jennykadry:
I have lost interest in this thread already

Why? The silly banter between dayo and freecongo?