₦airaland Forum

WomaninherPrime:
Good evening house. Kindly read patiently. I promise to be as honest as possible.

I'm a young woman in her mid-20s. I've been in three relationships so far... two were sexual, and one was purely celibate, though it didn't last beyond 6 months.

I recently got out of a 2-yr relationship with Dubem when we discovered our genotype isn't compatible. But the problem is that we're still doing a lot of back and forth. Dubem wants the relationship to continue because he's working on how we'd have our babies via IVF or chorionic villi testing to first determine the sex of the baby.

This has put me in a very confusing situation because I'm unable to move on while he's still holding on for us... and at the same time, I just keep thinking about how life would be a lot easier if I'd just marry a genotype compatible man and have children the regular way without the stress and huge financial cost of an IVF.

To fully move on from Dubem, I started seeing other people..

Nedu is a very great guy... has everything I want in a man, but he's having some financial challenges right now. He's cute, godly, very intelligent, good humour, communicates very well, respectful, sound family values, neat, and seems to me like someone who can take charge of his home. But his financial situation gives me cause for concern... he doesn't seem like he'd be comfortably ready to start a family in another 2/3 years. But that aside, his condition just dampens my enthusiasm to even visit him or start a committed relationship with him. No TV or fridge in his apartment. I feel embarrassed/sorry for him when he has to go watch TV at his friend's or neighbour's... Or I'm thinking of cooking stuff to take to him... but no fridge to store. Joykiller. Or the fact that he can't be a support system to me at the moment...

There's also Victor who comes off as a great guy but I've refused to pay him enough attention all these months because I'm still entangled with Dubem. Victor is doing quite well, and is passionate about his job, but he likes to talk about himself way too much, and seems a bit arrogant. The vibes I get off him is that he tries to be at his best behaviour when he's with me, just to impress, but maybe he's real. While I don't like like him at the moment, I feel if I gave him a chance, I'd see some other aspects of him that would make me love him.

There's Denver on the other hand. Denver is an absolute gentle man... and doing fairly well with his business. I almost said yes to him, but I felt it was coming from the place of pressure. He was putting me under a lot of pressure to say yes... he wants to get married in a minute, but I'm still not resolved on marrying him. Plus he's from a polygamous family, and his plan is for us to live in his disputed family house if/when we get married, and I feel that comes with a lot of drama. Also, he's a bit lackadaisical about his wellbeing. He doesn't seem very tidy. His car always has things strung about. I worry, too about his level of education. He has just a HND and is not in the corporate world whereas I have serious plans to get either a double masters plus lots of certifications or a Ph.D I fear there might be some sort of incompatibility years down the line. Other than these concerns, Denver is a great guy.

Then there's Bright... I've known Bright since I was in uni... he was planning a surprise engagement once, when we weren't even dating. He's the most inconsistent and confused man I've ever met. He's consistent for a aweek or two, then goes off-radar only to resurface again after a few months. But somehow he seems to believe I'm the one who's never agreed to take him seriously. But how do I take a man who's inconsistent seriously? Ideally, he shouldn't be on this list because I long cancelled him... but he called this morning and we had a very long conversation... which was short of him pleading that I calm down and take him seriously so we can move to the next level.

Now the reason I created this thread. I like having a linear focus when I'm in a relationship, but I'm unable to leave Dubem because all these other guys have one issue or the other. No, I'm not looking for a perfect guy. Dubem isn't perfect, but we've come a long way, and we love each other, and we've come to accept and understand each other as we are.
I've become impatient... I feel like I'm at the prime of my life as a woman, and I have other suitors to choose from but I'm holding on to a very precarious relationship. Dubem might as well just wake up one day and decide that our genotype incompatibility is a big deal and we should see other people... at that time, one year of my life would have gone by...these great guys would have probably moved on, too. A woman's hotcake period is fleeting. For my personal plans, I'd love to be married by next year.


Ohh. I mentioned the thing about my two sexual relationships because I made a hasty vow to God once that I wouldn't have sex with more than two men before getting married. I don't know ...God is a merciful God, yeah...But that vow still pops up in my mind now and again. So I can't go into any careless relationship, and now I can't choose.

I'm honestly confused �.

If he had Bsc is not a problem right? You really have a shallow thinking. Since you think spending 5 years in the higher institution to get an HND and also going for a service doesn’t mean anything to you. You really need to go wash your face with cold pure water.

Abouwaza:
They are not educated at all not just politically
The masses are even worse
Imagine people are waiting for Atiku or Tinubu again
What a shame

This is what weakens me the most. Recycling thieves here and there. If you come out now to contest. Not even 1% of your villagers will vote for you even when your intentions are genuine. Smh. Do why don’t Nigerians keep suffering?

This is my honest opinion and I think a visionary youth won’t argue about this.

Politics is not all about gaining power. It’s more about improving the living condition of the populace. But in this regards Nigerian politicians see politics as only an avenue to gain power and amass wealth. The sole aim of politics becomes defeated.

Let’s look from the local government level, you’d find out that even the local government counselors, chairmen, community heads etc lack the basic idea of what they’re are doing in their respective offices and I’d say it’s a very big shame.

They don’t have a vision, a target or even a tangible task to pursue and this keeps me worried thinking if Nigerian politicians are actually dull or don’t know their left or right


They can’t even do a single project for 4 good years. Well I sympathetically pity for the people that voted them into power anyways.

Now to the state level......

The governors are even worse than these local champions called LGA chairmen. A governor that lacks the expertise to govern a state, a governor that can’t meet up targets and transform a region at least by 20%.


A governor that is not even aware of the natural resources in his state which he can utilize and use to create wealth for the state,

a governor that can’t woo foreign investors to do business in his state,

a governor who doesn’t know that he can independently create good transportation network for businesses to thrive in his state. Yet he waits for the federal government. What a shame.

A governor that doesn’t know that he can independently build solar power that can feed atleast 4 states just in one state.

A governor that doesn’t know he can create jobs by independently building at least 10 good factories in each local government of the state.

A governor who can always give atleast soft loans to atleast 500,000 people yearly to boost agriculture.

A governor who can build the best hospital in the country. I could go on and on....... there’s always a way to generate wealth but these guys are just fooling around because they lack concepts. Very pathetic.

They always think these things are rocket science. It’s just that they’re very lazy upstairs.

If any governor can do these things I bet you the president will be frustrated and intimidated.


Now finally at the federal level

A president that doesn’t have the interest of the masses at heart.

A president that cannot evenly distribute development to all parts of the country

A president who cannot defend his nation internationally

A president that cannot call a spade a spade and punish offenders because they belong to the same Ethnicity, religion or political party

A president who doesn’t understand how to do business

A president who knows nothing about technology

A president who always owes people salaries and always pay deaf ears to jumbo pay of the legislative arm.
I could go on and on.........

In summary, we can never get there if we keep putting political illiterates into power.

Thanks for reading this.

Activist001:
You're welcome bro. One day, e go happen. Just believe and work hard.

I'm on this same journey too.

Yeah. Good you’re thinking about it too. God won’t put us to shame.

Activist001:
Here is my advice for you as an internet hustler too.

Just use 150k to 200k out of that money and invest in solar and a good inverter and fire on with your hustle like never before. I'm assuming you have a good laptop, if not, get a good laptop too.

Also don't limit yourself to Forex alone, learn other things like affiliate marketing, blogging, freelancing and make more money.

North Africa is just not it plus 500k can't comfortably immigrate you to a good country, do more, make more money and move to good countries (preferably in Europe).

When you have something like 5m or more (or even slightly less), then you should start thinking of migration so you won't get stranded anywhere.

You spoke like an angel. It really sink deep into my head. Thanks for the suggestions. For the inverter/solar and saving more. Thanks a lot. I really appreciate your advice

Please we shouldn’t fight about this. Is just my thoughts. I didn’t mean any harm or think any fight should result in this conversation. Please put yourselves in order. A lot of us here have put real contributions here and I appreciate that. Please let’s talk to ourselves with love and some respect. Thanks. One love.

FlappaNozzle:
No north african country is doing better than Nigeria. the only country that had a chance is algeria because of their oil, but corruption and their religious extremism is killing the region. i have an algerian friend so i know. the RACISM and inherent bigotry in this arab nations are mindblowing. algerians are colonized by arabs and then france, all of them, like our OP are looking for ways to escape to france, how does he want to contest with them.

what i dont understand is why are NIGERIANS dont even do their research before they start making decisions....How did he even think of algeria, does he even know their GDP. Have even thought of the impact of COVID in these countries?

Only few countries have their heads above the waters, and you want to travel there, to do what exactly have you tried converting your 500k to dollars and see that's its not even enough to pay one month rent in some countries!

I love your analysis. That’s why I decided to seek counsel from more experienced persons so I don’t make mistakes. Thanks.

FlappaNozzle:
Algeria is a NO NO!
North Africa is a No No....dont even go close. they are not doing well economically. pre or post covid, and they HATE your black ass. They are more racisst than europeans. So take your 500k and sit your ass in Nigeria.

Candid advice, go to your village, secure land, invest half of that money in farming....begin to grow, seek for agricultural loan and build your capacity.
in 10years you will be better than anybody who travels to algeria now.

Hmmm. That was deep. Thanks

Fulaniherdmens:
I will bash ur head if you don't start Agro business here in Nigeria. Who dey pursue u comot for 9ja.
Left for me 500k is way too small to emigrate to one of the North Africa giants. Yes! their country share some European master piece(language for instance).
Its a no safe haven for a west Africa to go. You can neither understand their Arabic as it's different from the Middle eastern pattern. Their writing is in patterns of Egyptian dynasty. You can settle in Ghana but they don't want Nigeria. Least all these troubles why don't settle for Poultry.

Well you’re right. But the thing is I know nothing about poultry or Agro related business. I don’t want to put money on what I know nothing about or have passion for. Like you pointed Ghana don’t want Nigerians. I don’t really need to mingle much with people since my hassle can be done indoors. I don’t even have anyone’s time so I don’t know. Anyway thanks for the advise and also the bashing lols.

I’m a single guy who is still hassling in my own little way here in Nigeria. I decided I want to leave Nigeria but I have what can give me about 500k between now and April next year. Although I knew it won’t take me out of Africa but I can settle in a place like Algeria with it. Please will that money be enough?

And secondly, I have studied a lot about Algeria and I see them as a European country in disguise.

My question is:

How do I go about it?
What’s their immigration policy
How can one move in there legally without breaking any immigration law?

I also have option to choose Ghana if Algeria doesn’t work for me.

NB: I’m a forex trader and I’m making it gradually since I’m not yet a pro. I just needed to move to a country with a stable power supply and a bit comfortable for me to trade.

Please I need your advice. You can bash me if you want. I don’t mind but after your bashing please tell me how to go about it. Thanks

It’s very common. I’ve been in the choir for 20 years. People could even varge for me that I don’t date choristers. At the 17th year I decided to give it a try for the first time. I dated one charming lady.

When the news started circulating someone came to me and said he least expected it from me. I told him I’m an adult and all that..... I didn’t listen.

Along the line we fell into deep lust and the result was a serious STD. It took me 18 months to get cured. I guess that was the punishment God wanted to release on me for even attempting it. Since then I vowed never to look at any chorister no matter how beautiful she is.

seborrhic:
Rubbish.
Kids story.

Everyone must not believe. So get that ok?

Graysons:
To fvvk they hungry this one she can't take it anymore, igbo women and fvck no be here ooo. Nevertheless, Igbo Amaka.

Mentor of all mumu people. I greet you

I can relate this story. My father’s elder brother was burying his first wife. Although when she was alive they quarrel all the time and the man was no longer taking care of her because of the hatred they had for themselves.

When it was time for her to go home, we got to a certain point and this same thing happened. The ambulance stopped. The driver tried all he could but no way.

He immediately knew what was wrong. He went into the ambulance and brought out a hot drink and handed it over to my uncle telling him that anything he knows that would calm his wife’s mind down he should start saying it now with the hot drink.

My uncle started calling her pet name, begging and begging. When I heard all he said I started crying. I cried not because I felt for my uncle. I cried because since I was born I’ve never seen or heard my uncle talk in a calm manner to that woman in their 48 years of marriage.

As soon as he finished he poured the drink on the ground apologizing. After he finished the ambulance driver put on the ignition just once and the ambulance started. That was how we finally got home to bury her. It happens. I’m a living witness.

Coronavirus84:
And Jesus wept. This is a case study of Marlians that says Any book wey no gry enter head while reading will enter into the examination hall by force. Nothing wey we no go see for this Igbo land. Abomination everywhere in the south east

You’re a big fool. People are commenting you’re there fooling yourself. That’s why this country can never progress if we keep playing tribal and regional hatred. Mumu.

Ejanla07:
Hypocrites everywhere calling ikpeazu..


That is a federal road. Its the responsibility of the federal government.. If you can name ikpeazu u should also name the federal government who own the road....

That’s not an excuse my friend. If you’re in rivers state you’ll know that a lot of federal roads were done by the governor and later refunded to him. If ikpeazu wanted to do that road he would have applied and must have done it before now. So what’re you saying?

I’m interested o. 08165300899. mkbessman@yahoo.com

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I’m interested. mkbessman@yahoo.com

I’ve never stolen meat from the pot
I’ve never collected bribe in any form.
I’ve never eaten fufu
I’ve never eaten watermelon
I’ve never stayed a day without taking my bath
I’ve never watched gay porn

LostAddict:
I never said it can't happen, I only made mention of the large fables that will also be told alongside the real tales.

Yeah I get you.

There was this Sweet, chocolate and smooth faced girl in my school. She lived in the same town with me as our school was far away in another town. Most time we do board the same taxi back home. I saw the green light in her but I blatantly refused to give in because she was too small. She was 13 and I was 17.

It pained her till one day she went to buy food for me in our school canteen only to return and saw another admirer giving me food she bought for me too (this one was about 15 ). She just got pissed off and walked up to me and called me a fool. Omo! My classmates just watched me like oboy! Wetin we just see now? I didn’t believe my eyes.

I approached her later and asked her why the insult. Na so the girl start to talk everything wey dey her mouth. I just shock. Immediately I just warned her and told her that
1. I’m not her mate
2. I’m her senior student by far and I could flog the hell out of her next time if she repeats that.

She stopped talking to me or going back home with me of which I didn’t border. Atleast I could rest from one amateur. ( I bin dey 17 years o. Lols. See me dey call person minor).

She later left and enrolled in another school in the town we lived. So I wasn’t seeing her anymore

So 5 years later I came across this girl. Omo! Na machine I come dey see. The girl Was something else. She was just too sweet. Her back shoot out no be small.

This time I try to shoot my shots. Omo the girl no gree o. I pursue her for like 1year for where. She dealt with me mehn. I became tired and let her be. As soon as I enter school my orientation changed I started meeting sweet girls too. When a call came in, it was her. Na so I start to dey make my own guy o. She too also got tired. Till now she dey vex for me. She’s on my Facebook she no dey gree chat with me. Even when 2go came out, she added me but refused to chat. I was like wetin Dey go this babe? But I’m a happy guy now. I don’t know what’s still in her mind.

LostAddict:
Liars go full this thread. Takes a bottle of Tiger and sits back to read comments.

The thing is that as weird and unbelievable it sounds to you it doesn’t mean it never happened. I just shared one of my stories.

Biodun1929:
"After we started dating she opened up and said they all planned it to leave both of us behind so she could toast me. See blushing that day."

Nice..lol

Lols. No be small o. I felt like on the moon that day. She was my first girlfriend.

Yes o! I’ve been toasted a lot by females. Some directly they’d tell me. Most would beat around the bush.
I’d just pick two events:

Event 1:

I was in the house when a girl I know down the street came knocking on our gate. I went to open and I found out she was the one. When she saw me she was so nervous. I asked if everything was fine. She nodded.

She just told me she can’t bear what’s disturbing her. This time I became confused. I closed the gate firmly and listened carefully thinking she really had a problem. She just said “ I like you. I want us to date”. I just finished secondary school and believe me, I was very naive then. After she finished talking and waited for me to talk my own. Na so I come dey stammer. I was just repeating well.....i.....i.......i.......before I hear person dey open gate na my younger sister. I just use her as excuse tell the girl we’d talk another time. She left. I entered the compound and my younger sister asked what’s wrong? I said it’s nothing. My sister even naive pass me. She no code at all.

Event 2:
There was this chick I had crush on back in secondary school. That was my ss3. There’s this camp where so many schools send representatives to be in the camp. We were 2 boys and 3 girls that represented our school.

When we got to the camp. I saw this angelic babes. About 7 of them all from another school. We talked with them and we got along. One of them was very reserved and as shy as I was I decided to tell one of the girls that I liked her friend. She just told me “Abeg don’t go there o. She’s our Senior prefect in school o. She’s a no nonsense person, The best in their school, on scholarship bla bla bla. I became afraid.

So whenever it’s time to mingle after camp activities (during games) I’d just lean before a car in the car park and watch them play with my school mates. So one day all of us were together and one by one they started leaving gradually until it was only me and this babe sitting at the car park during games. I didn’t have any excuse to leave too so I remained there quietly. She started asking me some intelligent questions. I replied and she continued asking and teasing me. I was tensed at first but as soon as I found she was comfortable I became relaxed and then I started teasing her too. She laughed so hard. When she said “I like you”. Come see instant headache wey start to dey do me. Because I no expect am at all.

After we started dating she opened up and said they all planned it to leave both of us behind so she could toast me. See blushing that day.

Anyways, she’s married with kids now.