₦airaland Forum

4llerbuntu:
and dont let anyone decieve you into thinking you can understand a woman.[/b]my friend go back home and go play the game

switosman:
@ blazy, [b]is not just about gaining control of your home, its also about maintaining that control ever after.
deal with the wife and the MIL maintain.

control frick MIL's trive where son in laws loose control.

I witness a case a MIL was advicing her daughter but she told her pointblank, her husband will not allow that.

Its true. No one can understand a woman. We are complex beings. we are emotional thinkers while the guys are logic thinkers. Hence, to deal with a woman sometimes, you have to play a fool. Use logic to handle some issue and psych to handle others. At least you do that to your female bosses at work.

To all telling the guy to have control, I would have to say it works with few women. Wait till you marry them. In some marriages, control does not always work. Understanding and respect of each other is what works. The example you gave, the woman understood her hubby. If you pull the control hat and want to deal with a tough woman or an unemotional woman, you lose!

Chrisbenogor:
I dont think the FIL is around, if he is then where would he be for 5 years while his wife is away at her daughters house? If he is alive then he is too weak to control his wife, which the MIL wants to turn the OP to. Abeg let the gloves come off this is war jor.

Never assume that o! Expect if the poster confirms this. My MIL was with her kids for about 6years while her hubby was at home. It happens o.

A woman should be sensitive enough to know what it means when a man says "NO" to something like having a young female maid. Get somebody else!

Only the poster knows what he saw and sensed. Who are we to judge? A woman knows if she is interested in a man the first time they meet. A man is capable of knowing if he can knock down a woman the first time they meet. All the other waits are 'shakara'. Anyway, whatever you do not eat, you do not smell.

@Poster, stick to your guts!

I am so stunned that some men on here adviced the guy to go back home and live with his MIL. That is really unbiased of them knowing that women go through S**t with their hubby's mothers too.

@Poster,
This is an issue btw you and your wife. Your MIL is a third party. Talk to your wife. Find out what she wants. How can a man leave his house and the wife never called? Also, the MIL never asked her to call or the MIL never called herself? That speaks volume!!! really. Have a heart to heart discussion with her. And you, be ready for anything. Take heart to listen through it all. See, I face a tribal issue too. one thing I know is if they dont like or want you, and you are not careful, they would frustrate you out of the marriage. If you love your wife, and she loves you, talk it out. You married her and not her mother. I wonder why you waited 5years to start complaining about your MIL. Maybe you were enjoying the benefits. Anyway, that apart, you need to take drastic actions to save your marriage if it is worth it i.e if you love your wife. Leaving the house is not the solution. you actually open gaps which in the long run could ultimately kill the love between the 2 of you.

Thank God she is safe.

I read on here that the creditor's action was uncivilized. I guess you have not seen or heard of measures taken in civilized countries like america to get a debt paid. Sometimes, tough measures are taken to get a loan paid back. I do watch a show called "repo" (something like that) and I watched an episode where a couple's car was repossed on their wedding day. The woman was in her gown, running after the car that was supposed to take her I believe from the church to the reception. Needless say what next she did to the groom? I hope she didnt file for a divorce afterwards. Just imagine that!

So sad. so this is for real! I could not sleep. This world is evil. To think that people heard the arguement and were close enough to be able to describe the features of the killer and could not just dial 911, its terrible!***SMH***

I cant sleep. I honestly can not believe this is true!. Rest in Peace and may God grant the family the fortitude to bear the loss

It is better to marry someone who loves and likes you. There gets to a time that it is the 'like' that would sustain the marriage.

I completely Understand where MybrownJay is coming from. A man is responsible for the home, likewise a woman and this is so backed up by the bible. A woman is to provide both emotionally, materially and at sometimes or most, financially to the home. A woman can take time off for child bearing and over here, it is usually 6weeks and that is if you have enough personal time(PTOs). The only time I would agree for a woman to stay at home is if the couple agree on her to be home and home school the kids. That way, they are saving. If the child must go to school and you sit at home, to me, that is irresponsible of the woman. Even a stay at home home should be able to have ideas to bring in some form of funds. There are tons of things to do. You could sew for the family and also use that as source of income, have a store to provide some form of income, etc. A woman's goal is to find ways to save money for the family whether you are a stay at home mum or not. Funny, It helps the woman too. what if the man dies? what becomes of her and her children if she is so dependent on the man?
As per a man who sits at home doing nothing except if he is between jobs and is seriously searching or is very sick is IRRESPONSIBLE and according to the bible worse than an infidel. Such men should be ousted.

NubianQ:
well its a crazy world, i watched a documentary on how a trug called TIK in sound africa has led to sons despoiling their mothers.

Mothers sleeping with their sons and fathers sleeping with their daughters , its soo crazy!

its sick!!!

There was a case in the states i watched on Crime and Investigation, where a women repeatedly slept with her son and played the blame game whenever he left her to hang out with his friends. one day he snapped beat her to death.

He got life in jail! Sad but he says he rather be in jail than bother with his mum because she wanted him every night since he was a child till he turned 17, he just could not take it, its a mad world,

There are sooo many cases in Africa that are unreported, the world is crazy!!!

Oh my! imagine the psychological trauma. Sometimes, the law fails one. why did they give him life?!

@dayokanu

you are funny!

@poster,
The minimum and probably the most important test you need do are the genotype test, pregancy test and HIV test.

D-sense:
Nah! U didn't ge it.I meant i'm out of your disagreement
I'm still on this topic ofcourse. , . AFTER ALL we re here to disagree nd to concur, . . . . . .So No Biggy.

Cool!

D-sense:
Whatever. . . .I'm Out.

you dont have to leave.

D-sense:
Sorry But u re not making sense to me!
Let's take it down to the normal exercises. . . . It's not superb for a guy to be womanizing or effeminizing around ,However when this kinda guy seeks advice from ppl on this sort of case ,Is the best advice  is tell him to continue his sinful nd disgusting act or to advise him on repentace?
I won't be amazed if u happen to be a Male!!!

All I am trying to say in all these is the guy is still a boy. when he becomes a man, he would do a manly thing. Never ask a boy to do a man's job. With his mentality, if he goes into marriage, he would continue in his ways. Hence part of the reasons why the divorce rate is very high. People who are not ready for marriage are getting married. Mostly beacuse they were forced into it. Please lets call a spade a spade and stop ruining the integrity of marriage. Those who hurt most in broken homes are the kids.

I dont care how he lives but if he is  not ready to get married please dont.

D-sense:
Can't you pple read anymore ''sorry''. This dude didn't claim he has not found the perfect one for him but claims he still wants to enjoy having intercourse nd jumping from one gal to another before he takes the decission of settling down.So after all these ,your ultimate advice for him is to keep all the poo up?

Whats that for? If he still wants to play, let him play. I would think he is smart enough to play safe. At least he is doing that before marriage unlike those who would be pushed into it and then start playing with other women after marriage. Tell me, which is better?

nuzo:
1. You must be used to suffering and smiling at the same time.

2. You must say "e no concern me" when illegality is being perpetuated on another man.

3. You must be loud and lousy, especially on the phone.

4. You must be a religious fanatic. . . . a Bible/Koran thumping prayer warrior/almajiri who believes any trash doled out by his pastor or Imam.

5. You must be a core ethnic bigot. You totally lose your nigerianness if you dont see anything bad in the next man from the other ethnic group.

6. You must blame road accidents, high way robbery and sicknesses on the devil.

7. You must leave every problem to god.

8. You must oppose anything that criticizes the ills of the society.

9. You must put ooh at the end of every sentence you make.

10. You must see fat/pot belied people as evidence of good living.

11. You must pay your girlfriend monthly allowance.

12. And to some extent, you must learn to see 419 as a pay back for the "evil" the white man has "perpetuated" on us.

nice!!!

pure comedy

You better dont be pushed if you are not ready. If you rush in, You will rush out.

This story drove some point home to a lot of people

@Poster,
The topic should be " how far should a parents love go?" The percentage of women who sleep with their boys is fast increasing but also, there are lots of men who sleep with their daughters. These parents are crazy and are just stealing the innocence of these kids. I am for a greater punishment than jail terms for these pediophiles be it parents or not

@Poster,

Why are you complaining? You knew all these before marriage. What was your backup plan? or you thought you could change her after marriage?
Whatever you can not change before marriage may never be changed after marriage. In fact, they get worse after marriage

I believe it gives room for snooping around. No matter whether you have all his passwords or not, anyone who wants to cheat will cheat outside of the emails.
Back to the post, I believe it would do more harm than not. Imagine a spouse going thru your emails and misinterpretes it. It creates room for suspicions and unnecessary argument. A man suspected his wife of cheating cos he read her text message from one of her client asking her to meet her for lunch. He imagined the worst whereas it was a business lunch. Tell me, How does that help ease a jealous heart? Sometimes, it is better to let somethings be. A man/woman who feels he needs to read your email is insecure and no matter how much you open up your email and phones, he would still remain insecure

agitator:
No employer's policy supersedes any country's labour laws. No company can try these in US or Japan. In fact in Japan, presently there is paternity leave.

All these are caused by the useless people we have at the helm of affairs as our leaders.  They are just comfortable and out of touch with reality. 

Actually, it depends on the state you are in. An employer have the rights to terminate employment without any liability. It is called employment at will. The employer is allowed to discharge one for a good cause, a bad cause or no cause at all. Believe me, nothing will happen to the company. I have seen a woman's contract ended because she was pregnant. Of cos they wont tell you that was the reason. How do you prove this discrimination esp when they tell you the reason is that they have no more work for you?

PS: I live in maryland state and that type of employment applies here.

dayokanu:
^^ Hi MsTom,

Have you considered abolishing senseless laws?

At some time, The punishment for having twins is death by dumping them in the bush. I bet If some people didnt challenge such laws we would have said

"The law is the law. Depending on where you live, the consequence of your actions differ. Ignorance to the law is no excuse and hence should not be used. If you live in a place where death is the consequence for having twins, why do it? And if you must, move out of the area! it is that simple."


How can death be the punishment for adultery and Where is the man she commited the adultery with?

You know that is his beliefs and that country is founded on their beliefs, hence the law. So, I cant answer your question on the "how" cos I dont have the same faith as them. Hence, why I would say if you must see other people, dont live in Iran. If you must be involved in corruption/ drugs, dont live in china Until someone somewhere can change their beliefs

ruba_slipa:
OTOH, MsTom, you are being a bit unrealistic here:
'I bet the 17 year old had no clue what sex was, '

Uyi Iredia:
@ MsTom
i don't agree with this statement >>> at 9, i was smart enough to know i was abused >>> talkless, a guy 16 or 17 >>>

Yeah, maybe. But I can tell you that are are 19years old who dont know anything about sex. Try talking to teanagers to find out. Never assume!

nanidee:
Ahmadinejad or Alamdinejad or whatever he calls himself is an outright retard, how on earth can he compare killing someone for adultery with killing someone because the person killed someone else? he is a real retard, disgusting schmuck.

I beg to differ that he is a retard. He makes more sense than most leaders. ( at least in his UN speeches). The law is the law. Depending on where you live, the consequence of your actions differ. Ignorance to the law is no excuse and hence should not be used. If you live in a place where death is the consequence of adultery, why do it? And if you must, move out of the area! it is that simple.

Some people are denying the fact that this man had other victims probably to young to be interviewed. Whether it is 20 or 21year old man sleeping with a 16 or 17years old makes him accountable and tagged a pediophile.

PS: I bet the 17 year old had no clue what sex was not to talk of sodomization. That is why he withdrew. He is currently going through psychological problems because of a 21 year old man who could keep his "thing" in his pants or simply go to a gay club and meet real gay men! (20 years and OLDER) shior!

Quote from: Echidime on Today at 03:04:13 PM
Did the minors complain to their parents that they were having sex with the pastor? If not that means they too were enjoying it. is part of democracy,freedom of choice,either you bleep kitty or you bleep backside

OMG!!!!  How could you say such a thing? Do you know the trauma a woman goes through after ra.pe, not to talk of a child? Most women dont complain either but that doesnt mean they dont hurt. How does the child understand the fact that the person he/she calls daddy or uncle or "pastor" is taking advantage of them? This comment of yours is so Insensitive. Makes me wanna conclude that we have more pediophiles in Nigeria than earlier thought.

tensor777:
Actually it is a mental - not to say- spiritual illness. I wouldn't classify it as sex, but simply an act of perversion. It is on an entirely different level than adultery.
Nevertheless it is entirely up to the man to forsake this perverted path and save his marriage.

Even lusting after another woman/man in your heart is an act of adultry. According to the bible, there is not difference. If you are with another, it is adultery. Those who wrote the marriage vow thingy arent silly. They didnt say "forsaking all women", they said "forsaking all others and be faithful as long as you both shall live"

True it is an act of perversion, but then, there are acts of perversion in other aspect of live!

This is akin to Nigerians who claim they dont watch nigerian movies and yet they know the names of all nigerian actors and actresses and the movies in which they featured. So typical!!!