₦airaland Forum

@tai2,
Haba! bros, you just concluded that men are not supposed to get married. No amount of income they make can be enuff for them to marry

Eaglebabe:
Ring to me is just like anything.So ring or no ring he can still do what he wants to do.Ladies be wise.

Even married men can cheat even with their wedding rings on.

mama-gee:
The same reason Single women have "affairs" with married men.

my tots exactly.

ola4yinka:
Again,

LUKE 12: 22-28

Thanks. good to know I am not the only Nigerian thinking this way. There is hope

rhymz:
Nne there's everything wrong with sleeping in opposite direction on thesame couch with her roomy's Bf. . . Imagin running her legs paralell paralell to the fool's trunk with her the tail of her toes ending in the guyz face? What will stop him 4rm stealing a look at aso-rock when the congi gal gets carried away! Not once but regularly he would come and comfortably watch movies with her even when his GF aint around and the gal would oblige him the opportunity yet she is the one that is worried. . . Lol. . . I say let the Fish burn Poster,U surely know what U re doing!

lol. she didnt tell us she did that. I posted based on what she wrote and imagined that the 'sitting' she mentioned is the 'sitting' posture that normal people would do. If you read my post, you would know I no support am at all.

tai2:
If you lived in a country with infrastructure, great public schools, efficient and reliable transportation system, housing, low rate of unemployment and chances for career progression, perhaps I'd say go ahead. This is Nigeria, so don't be silly. Have you noticed how all the people who are talking of marrying wives on 19k and 2,5k are talking of by the grace of God by the grace of God? Is it by the grace of God alone you want to train your future kids, open your damn eyes!

It is opinions like these that are the cause of so many criminals we have in society today, people with no money to maintain a home get married and start giving birth like rabbits, then when these children grow up in a Nigerian society that is as selfish as they come, they start looking for means to get money quick and fast because they are trying to escape the vicious cycle of poverty their parents brought them into.

Nigeria has no infrastructure period. How are you going to afford school fees, rent etc? Some people are here suggesting you put off having children for a while. I laugh. In Nigeria, where your relatives come knocking on your door after 1 year asking for grandkids? Don't put yourself in trouble in order to satisfy the urges of others. How much have you saved ? If you get sacked from your job after marriage what will you do?

Think of the people whose lives you want to ruin. Grace of God is a lazy man's prayer, God gives us all his grace, it is what we choose to do with it that counts. Sort out your problems first before you end up marrying a woman who will spend her night's in church doing night vigil praying for a miracle. God gives us all brains, use yours. This is why other countries are more developed than we are, other people approach problems practically, Nigerians approach problems hoping for the next miracle. Then when the miracle doesn't come they look for who to blame for their woes.I have given you the advice I will give any man and this is my second post on the matter. Open your eyes.

Dont wanna argue over infrastructures or what not. Things are not as perfect as you stated. Some people are moving back to nigeria or ghana to source for a living. Believe me. Used to live amongst Africans.

Now, what happens when you get a job of say 1million per month, get married, probably have kids and then both hubby and wife loses the job? Wont life continue? Didnt you do the right thing by getting married when you had money? Believe me, only few people save or invest. No one knows the future. Please answer these questions, then I would understand why you say he cannot get married.

pro01:
Thats how you girls 'innocently' play with fire and later say funny stuff like "i don't how it happened". Perhaps you have a boyfriend; if he somehow discourages that or tells you to stop it you'd label him 'insecure'. Yet when your roomate's boyfriend succeeds with his seduction, you would never confess your infidelity to your 'insecure' boyfriend. If perchance he finds out, you would shed crocodile tears and act like the victim. When would this deceit end?

Understand: seduction is a slow poison; it's often hard to tell when and how its effect spreads all over you and make you do hitherto unthinkable things. It is a 'contact' sport. Be a woman ever so virtuous, if she permits herself to be in contact (physical or communicative) long enough with an average seducer, she would sooner or later -all things being equal- be chewed and spitted out. Argue with me if you like, but this is a categorical certainty.

Thats why wise and truly trust-worthy girls give themselves 'brain' and flee all appearances of evil. Discretion is the better part of valour.

So true!

hollandis,

Silly post. Continue you meet that girl who would show you that "hell hath no fury than a woman's wrath". maybe by then, you would grow up.

VPG:
HabaHabaHaba, I'm sure she's a Barbie. And I totally agree with you that one man's meat is another man's poison. But MsTom will you as a person marry someone that brings in 40K/month Please be honest and forget what you or your husband makes right now.

Funny, My hubby was in the guy's shoes. His debt was way more than his income. So, he brought no money home. Over here, you have no choice but to pay your debts(by force). When we got married, I was rounding up my master's prog. After marriage, I got a good job. We relied on that income for a while, while he went back to school. To your question, Yes, If he is a good man.

Look at these people. What has she done that is wrong? What has she done for them to call for her resignation? The person(Yaradua) whom every one both nationally and internationally is asking to resign is still there. Instead of them to face that issue. In short, all these fradualent, rich, pot-bellied, power hungry politicians are gonna ruin Nigeria.

There is nothing wrong with sitting on the couch and talking or watching tv together. The problem here is the overly long hours you spend with the guy. It is obvious the guy wants to spend time with you and not his girl and you are entertaining this. It could cause friction btw your roommate and her bf. Do not encourage him any further. Reduce the time you spend with him and do not encourage him to visit when his girl is not around.

VPG:
Understanding good women, where, in Nigeria yeah right! Of cos they will come out as understanding when you gat chips to show. So you saying pretty women no get iwa and people making 40K or less should start looking for ugly girls to marry?

You are getting me wrong. People look at the physical and forget the character. Beauty and character is very much possible.

PS: who says that girl is ugly, you? that ugly to you is a beauty to another.

This is what is causing the problems in Nigeria. What formulae are they using? The mandate should be for those who are capable of ruling and not a tribal thingy. And to think that these statements came from a southerner.

@VPG,

There are understanding good women out there. The problem is that most men are greedy and tend to look for women with physical features that are pleasing to their eyes and forget about the character. How come some men are happy with their women? An individual would always show their character. Efi ni iwa. The problem is that we are blindly and foolishly in love. Some men earning 40k or less per month would be chasing after a woman who adds to her wardrobe every month or a woman who is not ready to contribute to the building of her home (not house o). Tell me, do you think that relationship would last? If you marry the right person, you can live together happily with any income even in this century.

Let me get this straight. Let me know if I got it all wrong. You and your bf had a fight and you moved on. As in broke up? Then you met another guy and you slept with him. Where is the cheating here? Why did you text the guy you broke up with in the first instance? If this is the case, you did not cheat on him. But you were immature to go get revenge by sleeping with another man and texting your first guy to tell him. Why? to make him jealous? But then, on the other hand, my guess is that you never broke up with him. You were just angry and you slept with another guy. In that case, you cheated. Yes, there is a repercussion. He is probably not happy with your decisions and you know it hence why you are here about your problems. The trust is gone and has to be rebuilt. You need to work on rebuilding his confidence in you. This can only be done by your actions and not by words. So, start acting right. God will help you act right if you ask for his help.

PS: we dont want to read any negative behavior from you. So also you bf.

Again!

Almost thot they were never trained with the way they drink and handle guns in the streets of Nigeria. They behave like amateur gun handlers. I still have my doubts about the video

Dear Agatha,

, Again when is the best time to get pregnant?

Are you kidding me? She is obviously not in love and yet she wants to have a baby for this man? I think that should be the reason why she got married to him in the first instance. Maybe he was the only man that was interested in her and she jumped for the offer for marriage. I feel sorry for her and her decisions.

I bet the fiance is the mastermind behind the scam and he is mos def a nigerian. This is a clear case of "oyinbogo".

na2day?:
some girls will say yes initially bcuz they just want to get married and have a kid as a trophy of their womanhood but when they start listening to their friends or seeing their friends getting good stuff from their hubbies and her hubby cant catch up, her eyes will start to wander and she begin to either stress the poor guy out or play away games.

That is a case of a non-understanding woman. With that kind of a woman, if you earn 4million per month, it wont be enuff. The key is being able to live within your income. There are men who earn way less than that and they have wives and kids and they are happy. They live within their means. It is possible but it is all about the individual. If everyone is saying never, what happens when you earn 600k per month, get married and then lose the job. What would you do? walk out? Dont think so.( even though some would do just that ). If the girl would not be the understanding type, do not get married.( I expect the guy to open his eyes wide for clues. Love should not be blind).

Finecat:
Kai, see as Nairaland women stay away from this thread. Naija women no wan associate or answer a poor man question. My brother, think it over you are the only one who knows your situation.

lol. A man is blessed when he finds the right kind of woman and of cos vice versa

I prefer her as an actress. Can never buy her musical cds

The truth is she never loved the man she married. She had other materialistic reasons for getting married and hoping that would blind her from performing her marital duties. But alas!, marriage and love is more than that.

If you have an understanding girl and You and your girl are ready to live within your means, then go ahead.

If you are having this much stress b4 marriage, then I would say yes. You dont need to patch any relationship. Face it squarely. If he cant change now, he would never change after marriage. If he still puts her pictures in his laptop, have secret conversations with her and talks about her, he is mos def not over her and is just using you to fill a void. most likely se.x. He is still in love with her and is still trying to get her back. Move on girl. You dont need this.

ifedy:
Have seen numerous muslims with tirbal marks

Me too. Even some hausa have marks

slap1:
I'm Igbo so I gat no tribal ma(s)rks. Only gat my big dear head. Mehn! I'm proud of it!

lol. So also George Lopez

Never let things around you define who you are. Never let anyone define who you are. If I had, I would be so much proud of it. Everyone have one thing or the other they carry and not proud to talk about. Even that girl that left you. She is such a child for leaving you for such a minute reason. I am so proud of me. Learn to be proud of you.
Ps: dont tell me you dont have any quality to complement that tribal mark. Sure you do. Search within you!

Wrex:
Had it mean my parents gave me tribal marks,i would have disowned them and killed the perpetrator of that evil

You and I know that you just lied there.

olubuffett:
talk about fighting a tiger, some parent should be sued 4 abuse

True. But then, it was a form of identification. Like when a Yoruba, hausa or igbo man speaks, you know where they are from. Some used the marks as a form of protection from their enemies.

woye77:
yes indeed there is a coup taking place in 9ja! read the link below

http://www.punchng.com/Articl.aspx?theartic=Art2010022518235776

http://www.time.com/time/world/article/0,8599,1966681,00.html

What a terrible typo!

hauler:
@ Chaircover,
You're the only rational person that's posted on this thread so far. Everybody else seems to be facing the same direction. I still think there's more to this than meets the eye, and the poster has so far managed to tell us whats going on in her mind, i'm sure there are some other things she sees that prove her wrong, but she hasn't stated them. If she was 100% sure about this i doubt if she would be asking for advice on this forum.
Anyway, based on what she has typed so far i can understand why everyone has jumped to the same conclusion.

I dont blame anyone for jumping to the same conclusion. It is because it happens in America. Nigerians and funny people from other countries do crazy stuffs to get a visa or citizenship. I have heard of men who do such to their wives. One is a Nigerian man who is married to this time around, another Nigerian woman who had 3 kids for him. Only for him to bring another woman who had a kid into his basement in the guise that she was evicted from her house and she was a related to him. It was about a year later that the first wife got to find out that the woman in the basement was his second wife from nigeria (his village) and her kid was his. This happened in maryland state. It happens. Some men still have their wives in Nigeria. Some other "first wives" are aware that their man has a second wife and they actually live in the same apartment. He man owes his wife to tell her if he wants to have a second wife. That way, she can be ready to face whatever. Nigerians and some other groups practise polygamy here. It is estimated that about 50,000 people do. My problem is the deceipt. If you must do it, tell your present woman so that she can decide on the next move.

BreiAna:
Everything you guys are saying i do believe. But he's the first Nigerian guy I've been involved with. We've been together for 8 yrs. I always thought immigration takes DNA test before the kids come to the US. Pls don't think I'm a dumb American no that's not the case. I just wanted to know if I'm being paranoid. I've been checking things out i just need proof

You aint dumb. You are a woman. Follow your instincts. So sorry this happened to you. If it ever happened to me, I would tell cops about my suspicions and let them come and bust the door open and catch them in action. That way, if she is truly a teenager, he goes to jail coupled with the fact that I get my evidence with reputable witnesses. To me, that is the height of deceipt ( Sleeping with another woman in my house/home). Not telling you to do that though. There are other ways you can get your evidence. Definately not from the man or from his family who apparently are aware of what is going on. It is obvious that the man is involved with the girl who is mos def not his daughter. However, she might be a teenager. Do not get yourself involve in a crime by habouring a man who is suspected to be sleeping with a minor. Immigration only ask for DNA when they have reason to suspect that the child might not be his. Maybe he was able to give them enuff prove for them to waive the DNA test or probably gave a fake DNA result. You need to protect yourself. Never allow a man or any other person drag you into the mud.

tlops:
he craze? varfor?

I hope its just a rumor, cos that would be bad