₦airaland Forum

Candidlady:
told her same thing! Bout having a convo with him!

the guy is just crazy.

If they have started getting intimate, just forget it..She can't do anything..Than to avoid the guy.

If her mom has the resources to keep and spoil him, it is over till they both have issues and seperate.

Mariangeles:
Mba. Next month.

Thats cool...it crossed my mind yesterday, I was thinking na owu this month...

December ndi amuru n'oge oriri

ersonleads:
I understand.like I said she's matured in reasoning.

If she tick the boxes and you are sure it's her, go ahead...That's a very good age difference for a marriage..

But pleaseeeee don't be a limiting factor to her dreams and aspirations..be a lover and a father to her...If not she go frustrate your energy.

Good luck!

Vinnie2000:
If She is Mature in reasoning and conduct, Go Ahead!
But If She is the regular 19 year old Nigerian Girl who is obsessed with Selfies, Instagram, Tiktok, Fashion trends, Omah Lay, Fireboy,etc, You better Wise ur brain!

I swear..

Mariangeles:
True.


Owu ya.
Happy new week.

Today?

Mariangeles:
Owuhu ujo.

Ihe no na ilum di na nwaanyi, owudi ihe gbasara nani ha abuo.

Abii na...Yes but o nwere ebe di na nwunye ga ekwu ihe ha choro, oto ha shiri choro ya.


Okwa ncheta omumu gi wu 15th ka owu di December?

Mariangeles:
Owu ashi?

Isn't it common knowledge that one wouldn't condemn anything or anyone that makes them feel good?

Lol...Could be true, or false..Depending on individual.

Some will still condemn after climaxing..

Ha bia kwa ozo, ha yo wa biko...o na ejukwanu afo

Just like women who condemn sex, but moan to cloud9 when having it..only to condemn it after...

Anyway, it takes psychological stuffs to begin to condemn a gender like that...O na wuchakwa heartbreak na umunnne ya.

Mariangeles:
Easier said than done.

Smh...I mahu m sha..


But why ujoor na eji atu kariri umu nwaanyi ma ya bia na umu ihe ndia?

Davash222:
This is where your problem lies...

Why do you believe she's a good woman?

It's easier to see chilled water in Hell than to meet a good Nigerian girl.

Smh

DSC7:
I met this beautiful damsel around 2012,we got admission into same institution same year....

We dated from 2012-2016,,,,

During service we parted ways and met again 2018 but ended up becoming friends with benefits....

By 2019 distance(different states) kept us apart due to life plans.....

And we don't have each others contacts again

So i was chatting with my elder brother this morning and he told me about his fiancee, i asked for her picture... Lo and behold she was my ex and friend with benefits.....


Now there is no way she will know that we are related except on their wedding day coming up next year if i attend.....

I don't know whether to tell him or just let them be

Open up to your brother...I mean this is your blood brother for good sake..If he end up with a wrong choice, it can scatter a family for life..

Tell him the A-z bro don't hide anything regarding this issue from a bro, not to talk of your blood.

How do you feel sef, realizing a babe u the bang is becoming your brother's wife.

Tell him, it is now left for him to move ahead knowing fully the options he is moving with.

My guy, this is your business..Don't ever listen to anyone saying it is not your business..Beware of strange women, the come to destroy.
If that union turn sour tomorrow, your bro will never forgive you for allowing him enter fire

E go shock you to realise na she scope your bro having known him and his capacity from what you do gist her...

Whatever issue you had with a brother, shouldn't affect the kids involved..

Putting everything on gram, appears like a hustle for cheap points.

Must everything be on social media

Paul seems to be the bad guy here....Fall out with bro, wife soon he will fall out with Nigeria.

Mariangeles:
E go better make una do everything the same day. Wedding by day, and trad/reception by evening. Onye richaa, ya lawa.
Na the new style now. E dey save stress, and cut costs.

Mba kwa o...Trad is first..Even in the bible..Because mgbe ahu ka a ga akwu ugwo ishi Nwaanyi na...That dowry payment is very very important...O ya wu the main main...

Ihe ndi ozo so ya wuzi ceremony.

For me, instead of doing all those glamour stuffs, I rather do a simple few family and friends thing...

Were ego m spoil wa zie nwunye m
Mana nsogbu ya wu, mpa m na mma m wunu enyioha, mgbe o liri my grandma, ndi o na emehu invite ka ji ya ewere ya iwe ma taa.. ka mgbe 2019.

Ma ya fokwa mgbe asi di okpara lu ga nwaanyi..hehehe ike gwuru o

Anyway, how I will do it is going to be a decision between I and nwunye m ga alu..

No third party influence at all.

Mariangeles:
There’s one that I suspect on family section that always crawls out from nowhere like the serpent that he is, and begin to spill trash about women. EVERY TIME!
His comments are hardly seen on random threads.
Just those gender war threads.
I said to myself no man that has ever been pleasured by a woman can have this much hate for them
I once put it to him in a subtle way that deep down, he knows he has no business in woman matters.

How did you know this?

Why will I even hate women,,is the question that comes up in my mind when i read some comments here..

Peace081:
Once you've paid her bride price, na you get her be that

100% period!..

Iyaebe:
All of you men going to pay only bride price and postponing the rest are just looking for ticket to free sex.She's fully your wife and free to move in with you only after church wedding.

Ticket ke...You are not aware some people bleep the hell out of themselves before moving to next level to pay bride price sef..

The traditional wedding is the authentic wedding, which is more of paying dowry...After that, the lady must follow her man to his ancestral home, to be welcomed by her man's people, both physically and spiritually..


I know we are in digital age, but tradition must be tradition...We don't even know when and where we complicate life by just following the herd mentality.

With this your way of reasoning atimes, you will frustrate a man who decided to make you his partner.

RichDad1:
Maduka money don expire. Alex don jump on this guy.
Smart dude

Lmao...money must be made..

Mariangeles:
According to their words na.

There was one here who told me about masculine homosexuals.
He said some of those guys that have strong hate for women, he said most of them are mostly masculine homosexuals.



You’re right.

They are everywhere, just like ndi nke Nwaanyi ha...

You see , you shouldn't get pissed when you see hate comments on genders....O na wu kariri ha.

Normal normal, E nwere masculine homosexuals...Very good looking guys, but no sexual interests in ladies..But, if family pressure bia, ha ewere ihere luru nwaanyi with no feelings....

Same with some nice and beautiful ladies, you won't know they are lesbians..

Mgbe m no school, ofu neighbour m, very gentle calm and beautiful girl, mana o wu lez..Ike a gwu m..With the way ihe ji aga ga ugbu a, o di hu kwa easy i nwete onye di straight o

Chukwu zo wa nu anyi....It hurts loving someone, only to realize he or she isn't straight.

Jostoman:
So this people are no more? Nawao

Such is life....RIP to them..The country failed them.

Mariangeles:
Ehen na!


Ehenu!



Yeah. It’s not all bad.
I’ve gained good things from here too.

Hehehehehe onye gwara gi..

O nwere ndi i gidere

Yea, not bad at all...I enjoy here...Plus meeting wonderful personalities here...till date, my serious business associates, I met them on Nairaland...

Believe you me, CEOs visit here....A training I had in Ilorin opened my eye to people that visits here.

Ndi mpa na mma no ebe a, ka nku..

Mariangeles:
Nairaland di ka ala Sodom na Gomorrah.

onye gwara gi? A kwa ga iko ebe a

Nwoke na ibe ya o na enwe mmeko nga a..lol

This place is a community and a mirror of what happens in reality atimes.

Just see it as place to unwind first, meet and interact with people, learn one or two, make few genuine friends and have fun.

Thats the way I see here.

ImaIma1:
You just shot yourself in the foot. Don't you think it is a dumb way of thinking for you to compare someone staying in Lagos, dealing with the peculiarities of Lagos issues with someone staying in a less stressful city? No, you were not thinking.

You are obviously talking hypothetically as a single person. Because you don't sound like you have knowledge of what you speak of. But if you are married, my good wishes to your wife.

You can do your wife as you wish. Let her have 7 children and work full time with no one to help. Let me enjoy my marriage the way it is.

K

Impregnable101:
So i decided to take to the kitchen today to treat my wife to a delicious meal, but was stunned by the way things have skyrocked in the market . Assorted-1,000 & beef 1,200

Make i kuku leave kitchen mata for madam till bubu carry him wahala comot office

Don't stop giving your woman the special treat o...atleast we know bubu regime, we are not sure of the next person's regime..

izzou:
[color=royalblue]E be like say you wear suit and you dey swing your car key when you go buy this meat.

I'm sure your wife would have told you that you were cheated [/color]

Lmao...those market people eeh...smh

A typical case of being addressed the way you dress...

A woman will always buy that at a lesser price..Every gender is important I swear.

Mariangeles:
When I was new on nairaland, I was really shocked at the level of gender hate that was the order of the day here.
I was nearly caught up in it until a friend called me to order.

Gender debate is a common issue in our world..Infact it happens anywhere na, nairaland is just one out of many places it can happen, as long as men and women interact.

The real deal is you just share your Opinion without pleasing anybody..And own it to your chest.

You get triggered easily okwaya?
The longer one stays and interacts with opposite gender, should toughen your skin a bit..

Life is not a joke o, you have toughen a bit..And master the act of coming into convo and moving out when you want here...With that nobody can get under your skin.


For me, it takes someone i love to get under my skin..so Any how bashing m huru, as long it's not a lover, onye ahu gbu ga oge ya...I will laugh at the person trying hard to hit me below the belt.

ImaIma1:
Our mothers and grandmother did it gang

You have still not answered the question. Just give an insight to how a woman with a full time job should do it without any single help whatsoever. She's working on the island and lives on the mainland. And the children school on the mainland. Don't beat about the bush. Just explain.

Your mum went on her lunch break to watch you guys. Ok. So how do I go from VI to surulere or gbagada during my lunch break.

Your mum was probably working next door and didn't face this Lagos traffic. But you want to use her situation to judge today's situation. You don't sound very smart.

It's obvious you don't live in the real world. In your head, you are naively describing an ideal situation. Open your eyes and look around you! You are not in the 80s man.

Indomie generation mothers will always think everyone resides in lagos and must face lagos traffic and wahala..That is a dumb way of thinking..

Same reality you are facing now, and lamenting, some mothers are doing it and smiling genuinely..

If you feel marriage is a burden you quit.

Look around, ask those ahead of you in the parenting world, how they navigated the burden...You sound too proud..

Pride goes before a fall...They said if you bend down you will see ABA..

Put down your shoulder, look around and ask....Any where or position you are now, someone passed through there..Not just someone, a mother.

Ndi woke happening mothers.

VintageCocktail:
Quite sad and we will keep loosing marriages.

Everybody has a breaking point and if care is not taken, boom....the marriage goes and spectators applauds maniacally as always

Two must agree, for it to work.

As man, my wife first, together we take care of the offsprings....This mentality will give a bond for life..

This will make you do things you do for love and trust.

And not feeling like a bruise alpha when it is something done out of love.

VintageCocktail:
This is not about arguments.

"Enjoying in life" is different from "enjoying in marriages".

Your perspective is saying that "women" enjoys most in marriage and I said no, generally women enjoys most in life not in marriage.

Your distinction should be "mothers enjoys at the later stage of their life due to their children". Which is predominantly accepted.

As an academic, it is good to make this distinction for clarity.

Same thing twisted in seperate forms.

Iyaebe:
Not everyone likes clubbing, some of us hate it with passion, stop using club girls attitude and behaviour to generalize

Are you the OP?

Did you say some of us? Hehehehehe speak for yourself o..Na who never see small stout in abundance go say hmmm that bitter thing....


Ooooh!!! I forgot daddy GO say people who party are evil people...

Mariangeles:
Nye'm malt.




The last part, not only ladies, even the guys too.

O wunu ya, cha cha cha ndi Malt kwenu!

Yes same to our guys too, especially the ones that are shouting redpill...Ha wunu ndi woke nke umu nwoke..ndi mgbuh

Alpha males are born alpha..And not by influence through books read or articles read online.

9

VintageCocktail:
The only thing the OP needed from the write-up was a nice vacation. An opportunity to be away from the bustling to relax and unwind for at least 6 weeks.
She never had any for 13 years. It would have changed a lot of things but being Africans, we like sufferhead and it has caused both you and your husband a relatively stable marriage.

Other women should take heed, when it becomes overwhelming instead of bickering and tantrum, request for a vacation. Visit your families without the kids. Go somewhere nice and sightsee.

Nigerian couples no dey reason vacations at all...I mean mention that to them, what you will hear is in this buhari time?

I wonder if it was yaradua's era or the weak Tinubu time ahead..

There are affordable and serene places couples can go and spend days together...just be free a bit in their own world..Give the body and brain a treat.

Anyway, i forgot it is only for couples who see themselves first, before the kids...And not like the ones who claim the kid is theirs, leaving me to wonder if the other partner donated sperm or eggs..

Ndi woke

VintageCocktail:
You have valid points sir, except the " women enjoy most in marriage". In life maybe ..in marriages, naaaa....there is no statistical data to back it up.
We only see the enjoyments from our own perspectives.

Hmmm!!! My brother lets not go there, mothers have their special places in the heart of every member of the family including her hubby..

As long their is life, mothers enjoy more...I mean we shouldn't argue this..

It enjoyment embedded in the fruit of their labour in a marriage that worked.

Minus our woke generation of sisters who lie to themselves online, Every correct decent and intelligent woman knows she has more to gain as a natural binder in the marital institution.

ImaIma1:
Please explain how a banker, regular office staff that works from 8-6 will birth 5 children and take care of them from infancy till adulthood alone while maintaining the job.

After maternity leave, does she take the babies to work? If she takes the baby to the creche, who picks the baby up? Or will she leave the baby in the creche till 8pm or 10pm when she gets back?

When they are in school, who picks them up and stays with them till mummy gets back? You can stay there and dish out judgement because you are a man.

You are assuming that all wives are teachers, tailors, civil servants like our mothers were.

I was the one who sat for two hours helping my daughter with her homework and I was exhausted. Is it a thing of joy to do homework with your child? Yes. Is it normal to be tired sometimes? Yes.

If you want to go back to the olden days, please do. But leave some of us who have faced the reality that we are in different times with different variables.

No work you mentioned there, that has not been in existence even during the time of our mothers.

When people want to complain or become something else, they prepare their excuse to dish out..

The earlier we ask our parents how they harnessed their marriage, the earlier we start getting solution to most burdens...Otherwise na steady lamentations here and there.

My mom was telling us how she uses her break time in office to visit our primary schools then, to watch us learn..Get familiar with our teachers and still made it to her work..Did school run as well..Still coordinated her side hustle business she established at home....super woman.

Yes my father played his own part nicely..Two will work well if they both agree..And appreciate each other, and not one partner feeling she is doing the most..

Our indomie generation mothers be feeling like they have worked extra like a Herculean task...You people should go and interview the jet age mothers..we are not even talking about the iron and stone age mothers sef.