₦airaland Forum

UzorChinonso:
Good day Nairalanders, I have been married for just a year now and it has not been easy here! My Husband wants to know every thing about my finance. He has disturbed me to know how much is my salary worth of.

I have always denied him of the fact, what I know is that I used my money to refurbish our flat, got some new things to change the outlook of the place....

But I am not really finding it funny any longer. As we speak, he collected my ATM card since last two weeks, said I must tell him the pin or I should forget having it back. I went to my bank, told them that I lost the card and they changed it for me last Friday and he collected it again said it's either I tell him the pin or he will do something funny ...

I don't know what funny thing he's gonna do but I am worried! Pls is this how marriage is?
He claims to own me and own my salary! Is it fair? This marriage is too early instead I would have quit and I am pregnant at the moment!
What do I do? I don't want anybody to know anything about my finances including him till I have my baby whom my spirit accepted that I should make my next of kin.

What do I do ?

You must have obtained from him a lot, for him to get to this level of wanting to know your income..I fear who no fear women like you.

Moreover, as a man, if we cant trust each other with our bank accounts and share our privacy, forget it.

That means u cant even use my credit card to shop under emergency??

Talk abt next of kin, before are u going to use another person's child to do it


Madam u are hiding things from him...Go and redeem your yourself or you quit, stop using him.

If you like depend on advise from single ladies here, who can't keep a relationship for 2days..las las you go deh alright.


Again, u married an akpa-amu. who told him, he owns you?... He doesnt know you are smart and manipulative.

Farmerakinloye6:
I did it and my head get Bald. . But have started smiling starting from today . To be successful in this particular commodity I think you will need to cut your clothes according to your money and have good mentor!

True....The tomato root disease was a hindrance.

bbeautylik:
If you had saved up to a million naira, you work with the federal government and earn 60+ would you rather buy a car for family mobility or venture into businesses first?

I thought of buying a car for family mobility and later save up again for business. is it a wise decision?

split the savings, use 70% for business, and 30% to remain in the saving place...save more and get a car if its necessity is becoming extremely important.

And, go for a good car with cheaper maintainance more like go for Toyota products with parts readily available.

As a civil servant, you need that extra business to expand income

senatordave1:
Up buhari

up Ngozi.

Sexyjigga:
Thanks bro

you welcome, where is alexa?

Akposy:
Breads

Like this now, nothing concern you with bread sold at malls again o...
Na bake and chop u deh

Sexyjigga:
Dinner
Catfish pepper soup with Eko/Agidi

Very ok..especially that catfish something..

Ngozika ahead ahead....Egypt u see now, u shall see them no more

let me touch u holy water for protection.

Amya:
I've been looking to get a federal agency job in Abuja for a while now and haven't yet had any reasonable connection.

My sister inlaw ( husband's sister) a lady in her mid 40s who's divorced and a hustler type still trying to find her feet called me up one day and told me a friend of hers had a connection for Civil Defence and i should email my CV right away to her. I have never discussed jobs with her before so the call took me by surprise. I wasnt particular keen on Civil Defence and as a lawyer i had my sights much higher on parastatal or agency jobs. She might have sensed my reluctance on the phone and she went on to say

"I'm just doing you a favour ooo, many people are hoping for opportunities as this"

She had this tone of urgency.

I didnt especially like how she was hurrying me as i never approach anything with desperation and as such, have never been scammed. I told her I'll get back to her. Two hours later, she was messaging me on whatsapp that she hadn't seen my CV on her mailbox. I replied her saying

"Aunty i haven't sent it ooo, is the job slot free because me i don't have money ooo"

This was a very dicey situation for me because this woman is over 10 years my senior and i wanted to be as diplomatic as possible without causing family wahala.

She read my response but didnt reply.

Very early the next morning she called me and when i picked up, she said that the job wasnt free but the price wasnt too much, just N350k. That i shouldn't worry that she'll call my hubby (her brother) and ask him for the money. When i saw she was still pushing, i opened up to her that even if i wanted to pay for a job slot, it definitely wasnt going to be a Civil Defence job as i had my sights set on agencies and parastatals. I knew she was upset by how her voice changed. "Agencies? What's that?" I told her like NNPC, DPR, NCC and the likes
"NNPC? ehnnn.. Okay" She cut the call and i heaved a sigh that it was over. It wasn't.

Two days later, this woman called me again to tell me she has an NNPC job for me.

(you've gat to be kidding me!)

She said that her friend knows the director and he asked for one million but after begging him, he agreed to take 500k she started with her hurrying tactics that i had only 24hrs and if payment wasn't made before then that the offer will be withdrawn. At that time, NNPC were done with their recruitment process and i didnt even apply and knowing how stringent NNPC recruitment was, i knew that offer was impossible. She went on that if I didn't have the cash that she'd call her brother (hubby) to make the transfer immediately. I knew right then without a doubt that this woman wanted to use me to obtain her brother by all means. She can try to scam him directly and if he falls mugu, good for her but why try to use me in the scam? I went further with questioning her on the supposed NNPC job. "Please Aunty the director that is helping, where is he?
" Abuja nau" she replied getting irritated with my questioning.

She was in Lagos and i was in Abuja at the time
so i asked her if i could meet the supposed director one on one and pay him directly and even promised to reward her and her friend handsomely if the deal pulls through.

"No" she said abruptly "you pay the money to my account and ill give it to my friend to make the payment. All you have to do is just hope and pray"

Pray... That word. I knew then without a doubt that this Aunty was trying to scam me.

I told her "Aunty please dont be angry, i know you mean well for my future and want me to get a good job in NNPC but right now I've already paid part payment for another job somewhere and i wouldn't want to invest in two places at once" That wasnt true, i just had to get her off my tail once and for all. She was shocked. She angrily cut the call. She wanted to finesse her brother out of some cash using my future, what happens when the real slot comes around. Would i expect him to pay twice?

Her mum (mil) called me and started blasting me. Saying I'm feeling too big to be helped and her daughter was only trying to help me and now she never wanted to have anything to do with me again. That i should call her daughter and take the offer so that peace would reign. I didnt. Even my hubby blamed me and i couldn't even open my mouth to tell anyone i thought the whole setup was a scam. That's such a big accusation to make. The family dislike for me grew worse because of that incident.

Please did i do wrong?



Modified: For those asking me to talk to hubby, ofcourse i did but he genuinely believes his sister was trying to help and since i couldnt point out outright that the whole thing smelt of scam, hr thinks i rejected the offer because of pride. But i know better. It didnt cause serious issue between us though.

Amya on the beat.

Ones you have a SIL who isn't married or divorced, do everything you can to avoid them...especially those ones above 30. They are instigators extraordinary.

Extremely dangerous.

Again, issues like this let your hubby know from onset..He is the only one who got ur back o....MIL in collaboration with SIL na danger o.

Petyprincess:
Thanks

u welcome

sagna112:
My name is Uche a 100Level supposed medicine and surgery student of a Nigerian University, I used to be very brilliant and that was what instigated me to apply for Medicine and Surgery after acquiring an aggregate score of 270 in both JAMB and POST-UTME Examinations, I was then admitted a years ago into a university.

I am the only child of my parents, they have spent so much on me just to make sure I become a doctor, dad had to sell one of his plots of land to pay for my registration fees, purchase a brand new laptop, a phone and clothes for me and all my needs, Mum who has no job since she was sacked by the state government will always try to send the little that will pass through her, when I think of the way she announced to her friends when I gained admission to study Medicine it brings tears from my eyes.

It will be an injustice on me to be blamed or for me to blame myself, I know the effort I have also made, I have always taken my studies serious, I never missed any lecture, I neither miss assignments nor tests, I sit at the front of the class, I don't keep bad gangs, I have never attended a party, sometimes I do RTDB (Read Till Day Break), what is then my offense? why me?

At the end of my 100 level Second semester my CGP was reading 4.2 without a single carryover, I was very happy because I thought I had scaled through the danger zone.

The unexpected occurred when I logged into the school portal at the end of my Second Semester Examination to check my result, I cleared all the courses with A's and B's but a course was reading Carryover, I nearly fainted when I saw the result, it was a biology course I offered in second semester to me the course was the simplest of all. I did not inform my parents because I din not want to dishearten them.

The school resumed, so I went to my HOD and complained, she took me to the Exam office who searched thoroughly for my script and from what I saw it was obvious I failed, I scored 32% and was asked to change department, my HOD advised that I go to Biological Sciences, my eyes were filled with tears.

How do I tell my parents this, it only mean I have brought shame to them. I have remained in school since then crying from one angle to another I don't know whether to go home to my parents to inform them of the truth or keep telling them lies.

I need your sincere advice.

A lot of microbiology graduates are on this table....Biology or practical physics usually send them packing.

My advise,
1 If you have genuine passion to study medicine/surgery, re-sit for another jamb.

2. Deep down if u know, u only wanted to study medicine/surgery for your parents, this is time to quit and slide into a course u have passion for.

Learn a skill/skills as well to boost ur degree certificate and u are good for the labour market.

lastly, let ur parents know your predicament because they are footing your bills.

Petyprincess:
Rice nd efo for breakfast

This is healthy, especially the touch of vegetable.

weldone!

BeautifulWoman:
I have had this thoughts bother me for some pretty years. Though it may not be the only part of a relationship, sexual chemistry and overall satisfaction can act as a pretty big factor when it comes to your happiness level.

Even the loviest of couples could hit a rut if things start to feel a little repetitive in the bedroom.

Sure, there are ways to spice up your sex life, but what if you exhaust your options? What if sex starts to feel mundane and routine instead of fiery and passionate?

That's when you start to think about marriage: the bond between two people who say that they will love one another 'til the bitter end and will only take the train to pound town with each other.

While polyamorous or Player lifestyles operate differently, on average, the sex life of a married couple stays between only those two. With a lifelong relationship comes a lifetime of sex with the same person.

The question is, would a man be able to do that? Or would he get too bored?

Sticking to one woman for life is a choice, only few men can...very rare breed of men.

It is not easy, as a man, especially when u are good looking with comfort, temptation comes from left, right, front, back.


And it is worst with those men that takes extra care of their wife, just spare some time, and see them hanging out with girls young enough to be their kids.


To me is a case of a lady being lucky, likewise the man,because some women play hanky-panky outside matrimonial home.

las,las marry your friend, so u wont have a dull moment...Make sure u marry someone on same frequency as u intelligent wise, sexual libido etc...

vera031:
My version of coconut fried rice�

look good.
kudos!

Akposy:
Same feeling here. I've been sober about the whole issue. I don't pray much but I've dedicated 3 mornings to pray that God help the NPF locate her rapists/murderers. Also, that all closet rapists be exposed and prosecuted.

Ladies, please invest in pepper spray and small dagger to destroy any beast that tries shit with you. God help all our mothers, sisters, nieces and the females in general.

Hmmm, that young lady's case is such a sad one...Government need to adopt strict ways to tackle rape issues/molestations. out national assembly members/state need to sit up.


secondly its unhealthy telling a woman to carry dagger.
You can't compare her strength to that of an animal in human form called rapist.

lastly, orientation is key.

scoundrel:
The next news we’ll hear is the new season will carry the tag “overpepper them” only for the thing to come out as “see gobbe, again”. Lol. I don tire for BBNaija. The creators should explore new countries.

you again....

drips8:
You don't need to be really smart to get things done here. Just a couple of important connections and you're set.

If u make am na u sabi the hustle.

if u too read, na u warm book pass.

lefulefu:
guy marry ur own wife to be serving u with the number of meat u want.no go cause wahala for yur brother matrimonial home

na when him give her money she go buy meat cook better food na....smh

This op sound lazy and entitled.

He shouldn't worry, wrapper go reach am, where e reach others.

See egungu, see express....

It can only be money sharing issues...smh

Local govt is a joke currently in Nigeria.
Whoever is the governor, is indirectly in charge of LG.

FX:
Why will innocent offsprings suffer it? This shows your very bad sense of judgement. Nobody holy pass. Some of you are not even better than the rapist. Which of the generational curses did you inherit. If there is anything like generational curses, then you must be suffering from one yourself.

you are sick.

Elvixbeatz:
God will punish those that did dis... Their generation upon generation will suffer from dis.. and I pray d culprit are caught

The worst is it will extend to lineage 100s of years to come, and the culprit may have died and forgotten, but innocent offsprings will suffer it...

Schoolshoe:
Let's go straight to the point.

• Be very active during morning devotions, you can decide to lead the prayer most times. So your parents would see you as someone who is seeking God for change of state of life

• Don't play songs portraying irresponsibility, like all those shaku shaku and marlians songs. You don't want to keep playing "am I a yahoo boy"' on a repeat in the presence of your parents. You will be scolded "my friend, will you stop that song now! You jobless child"

• let your parents see you reading motivational or life changing books. Even though you don't feel like reading, just carry the book cover your face and pretend to be reading. They would feel you are a prospect of getting a job.

• Don't complain about the quantity of food or size of meat you are served. Sometimes you have to pretend you have lost appetite, even if hunger is killing you inside. When mom calls on you "Desmond, your food is ready on the dinning". Tell her "I don't feel like eating now". Just pause, even if it is just for 5mins then go and devour your meal. They would know there are more things you are thinking about apart from food. You don't want to be told "see your big head, it is eba that full inside, nah only food you know"

• Don't make intimate calls around your parents. Like all those deep or long calls with girls. You don't want to receive words of scolding.

• Be psychologically ready to be accused of stealing meat. Especially when you are in the kind of family with many siblings with a Judas among them. You would be looked with that eye of a criminal. Like if your mom ask your younger bro " Charles who took two meats from the pot?" Charles would be like "Ask Desmond(Me)" kikikiki. That moment. Mom would be like "Desmond, you are the only one who has been home all day, where are those meats?"

• Just wear coperate outfit sometimes, carry your CV with you and tell your parents you are going out to seek for job even when you actually wanted to visit a friend. They would know their son is making effort to get a job

•in the presence of your parents appear depressed purposely sometimes and accompany it with heavy sighs in between. When they ask what is wrong with you. Tell them "dad I'm not happy with my life". They would be the one giving you words of consolation. Even though deep down in your mind that moment you are actually happy that your club won their tough match that weekend .


• Do some house chores voluntarily. Like cleaning and some others. You don't want to hear shout on your head that, what is your usefulness sef! You are just jobless and useless! The TV is dusty and your brain cannot tell you something abi! .
See hennn most of the insult will be coming from your mom. Women dey get wahala.

And lastly go and get a job or you create one.

You can add yours.

hahahahahahaha.......


A lot of guys are passing through this....But, what am baffled at how a man stays unproductive!


How comfortable they are in this state is something else...

Lajiniran:
Good morning, I humbly seek the input of professionals i.e Doctors and Nurses in the house.

I am in my early 30s, married and I have 3 kids. For some months now, I noticed I have been having abdominal pain, left side to be precise. There was a time I went to a Catholic hospital to complain about the tiny pinching pain that goes and comes back.

I was given some antibiotics, the pain left but still came back. I changed my hospital to another one, so on Friday I decided to complain to another doc at my new hospital and he pressed my stomach, I didn't feel any pain but when he hit my lower back gently with a fist, I had little pain. I was asked to do a urine test, and the doctor examined the result and said it was fine and okay. He said he will have to treat me for bile load nephritis or something. I asked if it's something serious or I should be worried, he said no.

He then requested I do a total abdominal scan to do a thorough examination, which will be done soon. Then placed me on flaggyl, gentamicin injection 3 per day for 3 days,vitc 1000g, doxycycline tablet. I will finish the injection today. What really scared me was that he asked, are you married, I said yes. Then he said your wife will have to be treated too.

I want to tell you that the pain has reduced even before finishing the dugs and injections, but I am really worried, WHAT I'M I BEEN TREATED FOR?

For him to give you, doxycycline, gentamicin and flagyl which are heavy antibiotics against infection, He supects an infection, and u have contracted your wife as well.

ogbuefi677:
Financial autonomy by executive order instead of constitutional amendment.
The dividend of having a primary six certificate holder as president.

Its either you do it by hook or crook as far as you are on the right track....Governors are big mess when it comes to how they treat these arms of government.

adoreyou:
Is it true? or just a fallacy. Would getting married today make me more responsible than i am now? When did getting married become a pre-requisite for maturity in this part of the world? well,wetin i know sef. Abeg make una help me put mouth.

Its a 50/50 way...It does, and it doesn't.

The evidence is well explained by jason.

Nwaotu:
If you guys don't help me, I will go and commit suicide and post the video on this forum. You guys should dare me and see.

Evidence of troll..

Anyway, go and prepare to be a father of two, and if u abandons those ladies, just know your karma is waiting for you.