₦airaland Forum

Gayi:
My dear dante, my advise is from my own experience, when we wanted to get married his mother didnt want me and my father didnt particularly want him either. The reason is mutual. Disparity in denominations. Because my father loves me so passionately, he cldnt stand the tears in my eyes so he gave his consent. Because my husband knows his mother doesn't like me, he never allowed our paths to cross. He would not allow her visit nor wld she want to visit because according to him, she will always complain about everything i do. So thats hw we did it until she has no other option but to accept me. but again the trick is dat marriage is politics too. your must arm herself with strategies to winning your mom over. nobody refuses love. if she knows all those things that make your mom happy, she must endeavor to do it. moms love walking around d village with their daughters in law, she should make her, infact pet her. Again, i hv come realise that its not easy for mothers to let go of their sons to other women. so my dear, pray, do some family reengineering, give ir a break, dont put your whole mind n effort to it, pretend u dont even want d marriage again, dont fuss about it. i believe evryone will come around.

Secondly, my cousin married a woman that her own mother did everything possible to make sure her daughter didnt marry my cousin. At first it was one of those things that mothers said. But when the mother insisted n d daughter refused, her mother had no option n left her. but she left an advise for my cousin. The advise came a week before my cousins wife put to bed. His mother in law came to his house in Lagos with some spices and told him to use it to make pepper soup when her daughter dies. My cousins wife did not come out of the labour room alive but her child survived.

My dear some of these things hold water. It is only God that gives us that spirit of discernment to know which is which. May our good Lord guide your steps. But the most consoling news is that if we are for God who can be against us? Cheers!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

tpia@:
i think fiji or somewhere around that area.

their yams seem to be bigger than africa's own.

though west africa is the heaviest producer of yams.

tom28:
In nigerian universities getting first class these days is not a measure of one"s intelligence.The lecturer expects u to give him word for word in his note or handout on the day of exams and in some cases if he give you wrong values and you try to corrrect him on this u incur his wrath and he threatens u with failure.So in order not to step on his path if he gives you a wrong value on the day of exam also give him back the wrong value on you are on your way in getting a first class.Nigerian education is pure garbage anyway

Rich4god:
@emmatek,  Am nt tryn 2 ridicule anybodies family, d guy in question is my friend, and i myself am still struggling to make 2.1 even am in final yr, so am nt here to ridicule anybody. Why i posted dis z dat d guy told me how his dad has been reacting over his poor result though according to him, he said in Esut, gud result are hard to come by, also that in his class, only abt 15/137 studnt made 2.1(if u r an Esut graduate plz confirm dis assertion). So i jst wnt 2 hia wat u al kan say ova dis.

LaShawn:
@Nat138
It wasn't always like this. At the beginning, we were very ok. He said the right things and acted the right way. He would send me texts of how much he loved and respected me. Back then, he had nothing to his name but I stayed with him because he was so nice. My ex wantd me back and other guys were asking me out. But I declined because I loved him and I couldn't bear to hurt him. The change came gradually, from the time he knew for sure that he was getting a good job.

LaShawn:
I started dating my fiance while I was still hurting from my ex's abandonment. I wasnt over my feelings for my ex and one day (about 2 months into the relationship), me and my fiance were playing when I mistakenly called him by my ex's name. I wanted to explain, but he wouldn't let me. Months later, he accusd me of cheating on him and called my ex's name as the culprit.
Then, on another day, I was depressed (I EVEN WEPT COS I WAS SO BOTHERED) and wanted clarification on some decisions I was about to make. I called up my fiance, but he told me that I was speaking rudely to him and dropped the phone on me. I called my closest female friend but she was unavailable. I then called up another friend, a guy who took time to explain and encouraged me. My fiance then called me to know who I was talking to, but I lied that it was my female friend. He had already tried her number and so he knew I was lieing.
Now when we're argueing, he calls me a liar. He has also told me that I'm a pretender. He shouts at me to 'get out'. I told him one time to get a girl he trusts, but he told me I was very, very silly for saying that. Also, he told me I was mannerless because I wasnt fast enough in switching off the noisy fan, when he was calling xtra cool and complained of background noise. He has insulted me in ways no one has ever done.
He told me that the issue with girls like me is that when they see a serious man, they misuse the opportunity and that they later end up with rif-rafs.
I believe in abstinence, but he forcefully threw me on the bed, bruised my arms and used his knees to crush my laps many times, threatening to immobilize me if I don't allow him, though I escaped but my body ached for hours. He later apologisd that I'm the only one he has, and he cannot jump on anybody else, except me. He monitors me and my calls. He doesn't think I know, but he sent an anonymous friend to call me on phone and to add me on facebook. His friend then left an insultive comment on my facebook picture.
Whenever I want to leave, he cries and apologises; even involving his parents in begging me. What has stopped me is that he can be very loving, when he is not in a bad mood. He can be very caring and romantic.
D latest is that he referred to me as a slut to someone who knows me. Dis person told me and queried how a girl like me, ended up with such a guy. I feel like I'm going crazy. . .and nobody believes me because they have never seen his mean side. They just believe that I am trying to pick out faults and tell me, no man is perfect. That he is okay. . . .

Atreides:
lol nah. . That was last year!

Besides, i wasn't talking about anyone in specific-it was more about general peer pressure.

The only other guy i've talked about on Nl(in direct relation to myself) is an online friend i had who lived in Gh and who i met up with when he came to Naija

Atreides:
Not really. I just want to think about this very carefully before i commit myself to anything.
On the one hand,i think it's negative to encourage me to lie,
On the other,he's pretty okay in every other capacity.

On one hand there's no zing,but on the other he's nice enough,and i might want a bf in the future so why not have him hanging around? Besides,maybe the 'zing' is over-rated.

And she(my sister) never had any feelings for her so that makes it okay,right?
Then on the other hand some part of me wonders why he couldn't be someone who likes me and only me. I mean i love my sister and all but why should she be a part of my r/ship(if we do get into one)?
And then there's the fact that she has a crazy temper and is definitely going to blow up about this. .
Then there's him telling me he's completely over my sister and me believing him and then when he hangs up i start having doubts. .
Then he wants to get serious,i want to flex for a bit,he says he can wait-he just wants me to make a definite commitment,saying stuff about settling down soon and i'm like 'dude,i'm just in my freshman year!'. . It's a delicate balance managing the whole situation.


Sorry if i'm rambling. I just feel like i'm being pulled in so many different directions now. .

Atreides:
I'm not into him.
I don't like him per se,but i don't dislike him either. He's nice enough,in a normal sort of way,and i figure i'll want to have a bf soon enough,and when i do decide to have one,he'd be alright. I figure it wouldn't hurt to keep him around until then.

My ish now is,despite how nice he is,i'm getting some weird vibes. Like tacitly encouraging someone you claim to care about to lie to people she cares about is negative,isn't it?
I'm not very experienced in the relationship thingy. I talk a great deal,but i really don't have that much practical experience so i don't want to make any mistakes.

P.s-190,you this Instigator,listen to me very kia-fully.
190,
190,
190,
how many times did i call your name?
DO NOT derail this thread or aswerigawd i will kill you in hot blood!

Gabsreal:
Gudday evry1, i'm new here so pardon my inconsistencies if any. I need your candid advice on dis issue. I'm an undergraduate dat jst met a girl a year ahead of me.right frm spotting her, i knew i wanted her cuz i av no gf.bt courtesy demands dat we roll 4 abt a mnth or so b4 i ask her out,bt suprisingly i cald her cuz she wasn't in skul for 3days dat i wanted to c her, jst 2 chat more,bt on her arrival she asked y i wanted 2 c her nd i said i wanted 2 c her face.Hell was let loose as she got angry nd said i wasted her time, bt frm d luk on her face i knew she wanted me to say sometin else-mayb ask her out or smtin,bt i feel its 2 early afta jst a week of meeting her.opinions pls. Note: i intend asking her out bt nt so soon nd we're meeting nxtweek & dnt wanna lose her. [color=Black][/color]

Gabsreal:
Hey madam, there u go pple making inaccurate statements.4 d records my CGPA is on 4.0. in my skul's academic parlance i'm a scholar.so beware i knw what i want

lily, 145:
I live in London, sincerely relocating from nigeria to this place has not been easy for me,
Because my husband comes from work and puts all the frustration he has at work on me.
He nags for everything.
Its scary for me to go out with him because for every sentence i make in public, he is so concerned with my pronounciations that I cant boldly talk when he is there.
For him everyday comes with a new sickening attitude. He comes back from work nowadays complaining that bringing me to the UK is the biggest mistake he made in life.
Please people, what do you think I can do, atleast there are no kids involved right now.
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Poster, when did you relocate to the UK? were you gainfully employed in Nigeria?
How long have you both being married?
Do you have any family or friends (of your own, not joint friends with your husband) here?
For you to be married to your husband shows that at least you understand him to some extent, find ways to soothe his frustration.
Because life in the UK can get very frustrating at times especially if someone is working more than one job to make ends meet.[/b][/b]