₦airaland Forum

Very good question, I used to ask myself this same question on job assignments.

I dont blame Nigerian men who decide to marry black Americans/Whites. In that way, they escape the demands of tradition.

It should be a token set by the groom himself. In that way, he will be fulfilling his traditional responsibilities as a provider without necessarily going into bankruptcy to fulfill tradition. Besides the girl will maintain her dignity because the man wont say he bought her over to his house with money.

One of the best African presidents, May his soul rest in peace.

old story, but rumor has it the election was rigged.

Brutal death for my sake, may my life be pleasing to Jesus Christ, Amen.

maternal family all the way!

Ancient Egypt wasnt colonized but built pyramids that have stood the test of time, this is for those who are arguing that Africans would have been stuck in the stone age. Prior to colonialims, we had ancient empires like Songhai, Ghana, Yoruba, Mali, that were a force to reckon with. Mansa Musa distributed gold on his pilgrimage journey and it brought about inflation in Cairo (?) for about 2 decades. Our forefathers were highly sophisticated in invention even if they were not educated in the western world. I will not say they were illiterates because they knew how to communicate.

Nickydrake:
[b]I attended a boarding school where at one time or the other I had to pass the night in classrooms, benches in the refectory, cold, dark and damp laundries, the roof of the junior dorm, and most remarkably, goat pens in the staff quarters. All to get away from sadistic senior students. I had a mattress, but one senior found better use for it in adding to the heap of about four mattresses on which he slept, so I had to make do with the back of overturned cupboards, bare bunks, and on occasion abandoned bed sheets so filthy you'd think ‘twas the devil's own doormat. We literally lived like criminals on the run.

Will I send my kids to a boarding school? Yes.[/b]Although it'll seem (or actually be) hellish while they're at it, they'll miss every second when they're out. Plus they'll acquire basic survival skills, Navy SEAL standard, if they're lucky enough to attend the kind I did.

And you will still send your kids to the boarding house despite this inhumane treatment you endured. I highly doubt if I would, kids need a nurturing environment where there is love, for them to grow. I think parents back home were afraid that kids wont study if they were daystudents. Probably true.

why am I not getting notification for replies on this subject as well as others?

I'd rather my kids live with me until they are about ready to leave for college at 17 or 18. I dont want another person to raise my children for me and subject them to cruelty all in the name of boarding house. I lived in the boarding house and while I enjoyed it mostly in my senior year, I wont send my kids to live there. Times have changed now, kids upbringing should be in the hands of parents and not senior students and housemasters/mistresses.

Orikinla:
Many villages in present day Akwa Ibom look like places last seen in Chinua Achebe's classic novel "Things Fall Apart" where the natives are still primitive and they eat more dogs than goats and cattle.

How many villages in Akwa Ibom have you been to?

Men are prized over females, particularly in the traditional African context, because of the family name. While times have changed, there still some parents stuck in the past over their refusal to educate their female children because of their belief that it is  a waste of resources that would directly benefit her new family in the course of a legal union.

In Purple Hibiscus, one of the protagonists, Aunty Ifeoma, despite her limited resoures, cared for her traditionalist father that was neglected by her wealthy brother. On a ride to a festival, ther old man professed his ignorance because he told her she did not matter (because of her gender) and she rebuked him by asking if Eugene ever inquired of his health. At first, I used to think that maintaining the family name took precedence over other obligations, but I have decided that day to day care for one's parents carries more weight than maintaining the family name, particularly if the man is competely negligent of his familial obligations. When my grandmother's maid left, it was my mother who marshalled my siblings and I to tend to her farms. Dont get me wrong, my uncles cared greatly for their mom,  but I think my mother's care exceeded theirs in various ways. Every Sunday, I recall her preparing food for me to take over to her village where my mother lived. Fortunately, the proximity was a consideration because my village and my mother's village are close to one another. In the western world, it would be the caring one who would inherit the family's property, but in the traditional African context, that would be considered a sense of familial duty expected of a female. But even if the male was an absentee in the household, customs would favor him over his caring sisters in the division of the property. I know of another female, an only child, who built a house for her parents back in the village and people were impressed by it. So, while they are caring men, I do have to wonder, which man would seriously walk into the kitchen on a visit to their parents, to cook for them?

It makes more sense to pay workers fair wages according to the law than to beautify a city/state. Or are their their existence less important than flaunting new creations of inanimate objects like buildings and roads. Kinda like neglecting one's parents because you are saving up money to bury them extravagantly.

odumchi:
How do you say Clock in Ibibio and in Efik?

Nkanika amia ifang? What time is it? What time does the clock say?

To those who are suggesting to the poster that she should adopt a baby boy, I have to ask, what message will she be sending to her biological daughters if she does so? That they (the products of her womb) are unable to measure up with a baby boy, hence her decision to adopt a stranger who will take precedence over them in property inheritance? A stranger over your own flesh and blood that you gave birth to, because they are girls? I can understand a childless couple adopting which would be a mutually beneficial situation for the parties (they have a child and the child will be raised in a loving home), but to adopt a stranger for that purpose whose needs would override those of the biological kids is in my own opinion a misplaced priority. Give God the praises for what He has blessed you with, countless women are desperately wishing for just one child.

Why am I also siding with the minority of those who disbelieve the story?

First, the mother in-law has been widowed for ten years

The father in-law for 15 years

Both numbers are what I would consider whole, not two or seven or 11 or 16, but 2 wholesome numbers.

Two: The friends of this poster are the youngest children in the family.

Theblessed:
[b][size=16pt] Since you asked for our opinions here, I have to be blunt with you and I'm known for being blunt but, who cares!

You see, you're not God and your husband isn't either.  It's a pity you had to go through 3 Caeserian sections yet, a boy wasn't forth coming and you hope to try the 4th time and what if it's another girl Huh!!!!  

Failing that, what if it's the boy you hope for, and he turned out with Physical/Mental Disabilities or any kind of disability you can not cope with e.g. Downs Syndrome, cripple, blindness etc - would you consider it a success story, then?

There are thousands of couples who would give their arms and eyeballs for what you've got, still you're not satisfied.  Why can't people be thankful for what God has given them - why do you all like to re-write God's story

You are trying to please your husband because he's been a good boy, EXCUSE meeeeeee! Is it not how he should be to you, in the first place?  So you have to give him a medallion for being a good boy, really?  

If he wants to cheat and destroy his family, let him get on with it and don't you risk your life for that, in trying for a 4th baby that could even turn out to be another girl.

Now, let me tell a little but sad story, I'm sorry.  You see, 3 years ago, I lost one of my first Cousins through ignorance.  My Cousin had 6 daughters and one son but she and her husband were never satisfied. 

I understand, alot of pressure was piled on her by Society.  She decided to try one more time and it turned out to be twin girls (the genes/twins runs in her mothers side of the family - her own mother had 7 daughters and a son). 

The babies where delivered naturally and there were no complications but, she was discharged home from maternity earlier - 3 days after delivery considering she had twins and should have been monitored a little longer before being discharged, home. 

On the 4th day as she went to bath, she collapsed and died leaving 8 distraught under 13 years old daughters behind - how foolish! Does it worth it? Now, she is up in Heaven answering God's questions and with the way you're going, be warned!

Don't be selfish, think of your daughters and their futures as well - for girls are more than blessings if you don't know it, yet.  I could hear some say, tufiakwa, it will not happen to me and I say, wait till it does!!!

Your see, the husband she left behind has since re-married and still looking for a son perhaps, he hadn't learnt his lessons, he would soon.  

So, my dear sister, it doesn't worth sacrifcing your life for a man, ok!  A man would cheat whether you like it or not.  If you like, you could be or win the world's best wife of the year for him still, he would still go out with other women and marry them if it comes to that.

The pressure should be on him to produce a son and not you after all, he is the one who failed to give you a son you'd always wanted - pile on the pressure instead of the other way round, if you like!!! 

Women, we are Goalkeepers, keeping 2 balls namely, X and Y at any one time and Men are Strikers with only one ball X, to shoot at our balls. Depending on what they want, it's really upto them to hit our X if they want a boy or our Y if it's a girl they want - its really upto them and they should be doing the crying if they miss their target and not us, please!




Now, let me be a little gentle with you.  Here is a 'Pre-conception Diet' for you to try if you're still considering the 4th baby and a baby Boy for that matter.  First of all, both of you should prepare your bodies at least, to avoid any birth deformities.  For you, take your 1 per day Vitamins e.g. Salium, Pottasium (8 weeks before Conception) and Folic acid (3 months before/3 months after Conception.

In addition, you need to gear your diets towards ALKALINE oriented foods e.g. eat regularly: Bacon, Sausages, Roast Beef, Fish and Prawns etc at least 8 weeks before trying - avoid Acid oriented foods, 

And for those, trying for a baby Girl I suggest, in addition to taking I per day Folic Acid, they should also eat Acid oriented foods e.g. lots of Vegetables, Lean meats, Milk, plenty of Fruits and avoid Alkaline oriented foods.  

This is just an idea, it's not tested or proven but I know some people it worked for and I suggest, you research a bit further, about them before trying.  

Good luck with the baby Boy you hope for!
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You are wrong on that, men have both X and Y Chromosomes while women only have X chromosome. So, an X from a man will result in a baby girl while a Y merged with an X from the female will result in a baby boy.

Devote your energy in raising your family and give up on having a male child. Countless barren women are more than eager to have just one child to wipe away the shame of barreness and you are contemplating going for a fourth try, sha, na your choice.

[quote author=High_Chief link=topic=764527.msg9187714#msg9187714 date=1316560266]Whats the proof that this is actually enugu, cos the last time I went there I seriously doubt this kind of mishap will happen given that all the roads and the drainage are in good shape. Anyway, maybe its actually as a result of the on-going construction in the area which affected a few houses. So sad and my heart goes out to the victims. The contractor should be blamed if this story is true[/quote]I concur with you because there is a picture of this flooded house on the internet and it says it is located in Uyo.

Just type on google: Uyo, flooding, and you will see the exact picture of the house.

read this:

http://www.maobongoku.com/maobong_mypeople_efiklang_orthography.htm

shadrach77:
this scenario is not real - it's an old joke that has been passed around in the uk over the years - the poster, tried to pass it off as a real-life incident that happened to him. why not just say this is a joke? why try to pass it off as a real story? 

I agree with you, just read the dialogue itself.

[quote author=baby-boy link=topic=761809.msg9169349#msg9169349 date=1316331858]One of the biggest fraud of the 80's Bianca Onoh winning Miss World Inter-continental - Thanks to Ben Bruce!!!![/quote]You remember that one? What about her victory few months earlier as the Most beautiful girl in Nigeria 1988 while the audience were pulling for Regina Askia, who emerged the first runner up?

This one is another true story though it may be hard to believe but I dont think the principal made it up.

A junior girl was punished by a senior student and she brought in her mom to campus. The senior girl also brought in her mom and both women met face to face. Turns out the mothers were once school mates. And the junior student's mom used to punish the senior student's mother in secondary school. So during the confrontation, the mother of the senior student said that her daughter was avenging the punishment she received from the mother of the junior students. The principal told us all this in chapel, I think when I was a junior student.

Sometimes, what goes around comes around.

It's a personal decision that you and your hubby should make, not third parties.

otooro:
thanks for the explanation,  it's well noted!

great post,  how easy is it to transfer to a canadian university? i think that sounds a lot better? pls let me know, 

Ask around, ask colleges how that can be done for a transfer student. He may have to take some classes and put in more time in a Canadian college, but his prospects will be better when he finishes. Best wishes.

amblors:
didn't know it had been made into a movie.
I hope they did justice to it, coz its a classic.
one of Nigeria' finest novels.

why naija novel dey end in tragedy sha?

Not all naija novels, besides, some novels generally end in tragedy, though I dont know why. I like happy endings.

if possible, let him transfer to a school in Canada that might be willing to honor his transcript. That way, he would get his first degree from a canadian university which would improve his chances of landing a great job. If he graduates with a nigerian degree, he will find life tougher as he will be confined to menial jobs in canada.