₦airaland Forum

frosbel:
My opinion is that these people show shocking resilience and intelligence in the midst of their enviromental conditions.

Commendable traits indeed!!!

Ok, so now what? where do we go from here and what exactly is the purpose of this thread considering that any Nigerian who has ever lived in Nigeria before already knows we have these problems? Or do you just enjoying teaching people things they already know about? Just saying.

[quote author=@palace link=topic=422690.msg5801767#msg5801767 date=1270022983]what should i do to make her give me a baby boy[/quote]Why are you asking us? What if it is not God's will that you will bear a male child, then what? Will that be the end of the world for you? Just sayin,

Eke Lucky:
Assuming there was an armed robbery attack in your house and may be they had pity on your family because they sited one of your children.They now came with an option of whom to kill between you the father (head of the house) and your wife.The reason for the option is to keep one person that will take care of the children.At this ponit,will you allow them to kill your wife and you will accept to go?

Why are you asking this silly question? If you cannot protect your wife and kids in the event of an armed robbery attack, then you should have no business getting married. To marry no be by force irrespective of what Nigerians may have you to believe. Got it?

Peace out!

tbanj07:
When couples go to bed, Should the man be on the right side or the left side of the bed?

Why the heck should it matter? Don't you people have anything better with more substance to discuss? Seems you should not be married to begin with since you worry about petty things when there are more relevant things in marraige that should be discussed and given consideration.

Peace out!

no1madman:
when's God's time?single women knows y they r not married. .something is definitely wrong somewhere.
women have to apply common sense when choosing a partner and d ability to choose at d right time.
note:Marriage is not 4 everyone. .some cannot cope with Marital stress,some r not even marriage materials. .i'll say remain single if u cannot handle marriage because u r better off being single. .as a matter of fact it's a double standard.

I am not God so I do not have an answer to your question. When the right man comes along, one will know. I chose to wait and got married to a man that I thank God for everyday. If I had bowed to stupid Nigerians and their pressure to marry, I would have missed out. I thank God everyday that I waited on Him and He has blessed hubby and I with healthy, beautiful kids. What more can I ask for? And I married in my 30's. I know those who married in their 20's and the marraige is already over. Also, marraige should not be forced down people's throat. There is nothing wrong if someone chooses not to marry because in Nigeria most of you do not honor your marital vows anyway! so what's with the hollier than thou attitude? what's with the I-am-better-than-you-because-I married syndrome that I see amongst most Nigerians? Hypocrites! For the period of time I lived in Nigeria, I saw the way married Nigerian men and women treat each other; like crap! Like a slave/master relationship! No mutual respect, no understanding, no love, no nothing. Adultery was it! Married Naija Men sleeping with university girls and what have you. And you people call that marraige? Please spare me! And my advice was for those who have made God the centerpiece of their lives. I am not talking to those who believe in harikrishna, African gods and dieties or nothing at all.

Peace out!

usbcable:
here we dont see it as enslavement, its our culture(or at least part of marriage procedings).
and just cos they dont do it in their own part of the sphere makes it babaric. no man here fights the wife if she dont do it when they are alone in the confine of their home.

BTW smashing the cake in their faces is to me ludicrous

To hell with primitive backward culture. It was once part of culture to kill twins in Nigeria until Mary Slessor came and talked sense into the backward, primitive brains of the people. Why una no continue killing your babies? After all its culture. No wonder the world has no respect for we Africans because we are so wicked to each other and hide under the farcade of culture. Culture my foot. Wake up and smell the coffee. It's 2010 not 1807!

@Poster

Stop wasting valuable space benin! Only stupid people are not aware of the fact that most babies can pass for a boy or girl. It is when they get older that their gender becomes more pronounced. Don't you get tired posting that innocent baby's pic all over nairaland or are you the only one with a cute baby?

Next!

[quote author=mama-gee link=topic=424703.msg5825100#msg5825100 date=1270326547]Do husbands feel guilty looking at their wife's faces after making Love in the Night?[/quote]Yep, they do. Don't they rape their wives most of the time anyway like a jungle animal? When many believe they have bought you with the meagre bride price they managed to pay, they feel that "no" is not an answer even if you are tired, sick or dying. It's the Naija culture, ain't it?

mutmex:
no they've paid for it and the wife must always be ready for it

No wonder Nigeria is so backward. Is marraige now a bloody slave trade? So because you paid a meagre some of money as the primitive, backward tradition demands all in the name of bride price, you now think you now own her? For your information, no amount of money can purchase a human being. The amount of time, money, patience, tears, and fears involved in raising a child to adulthood cannot be covered with a bride price. That is why I maintain that marraige between most Naijas is mostly a slave/master relationship. Whatever happened to mutual love and respect? I guess that is not part of you people's dictionary or wicked culture. Its no wonder alot of the married naija women back home look so old and haggard in comparison to their peers abroad who look young and fresh. Marrying a Naija man is your ticket to an early grave.

Peace out!

chrystee:
Hi
I just stumbled on this topic and deciced to make a contribution.I agree that marriage has a lot to do with financial stability,maturity,love,and above all God's plan for you but ladies should have it at the back of their minds that your chances of childbearing are reduced as your age increases.Medically,ladies in their early to mid twenties stand a better chance(25%) chance of conception every month while those from their mid-twenties to early thirties have a 20% chance.those in their mid thirties have a 15% chance and when a woman starts having children at that age,that's when you might have cases of down syndrome,slowpoke children and so on considering that you will space your childrens age,its always good to start on time but that doesn't mean that if you havent found Mr Right you should become desperate.Work on your reasoning and dont wait for maturity,you can attain it by being logical in your reasoning.So for the ladies,pray to God to get married say in your early to mid 20's cos i know of a lady who got married at 20 only to have fertility issues that lasted for 10years.She had her 1st child at 30 so due to her early marriage she didnt have much to loose as most of her mates who got married at late20's/early 30's just had about the same number of kids.Guys when you are financially stable and ready for a lifelong commitment to one special lady,That's your own ideal age.

I disagree with almost all you have said. I know alot of people that married in their 30's and still gave birth to healthy babies my humble self included. I equally know alot of people who marrid in their 20's and could not conceive until their 30's and even 40's. The most important thing is marrying at God's time not man made time. After all children come from God. I know atleast 3 people who were told they will never be able to conceive by so called medical doctors. Well guess what? They have healthy children today. One reason I stayed away from Naija people when I was singly back in the day and still do is their over sabi when it comes to issues of marraige, child bearing and the likes. You people are not God. Allow God's will to be done in people's lives and things will fall into place accordingly like it should. That is how you people rush in and by the time you hit 50, you are either divorced or looking for a younger woman to marry. Marraige amongst Africans and especially Naijas is mostly a mess and a scam; no mutual respect, no love, no affection; more like a master/slave relationship. Tufia! Thank God I don't live in that kinda society.

Peace out!

Pweety4me:
_{I'll tell u y because u r already old & grey. . .}

lol

who knows?

TewMuch:
Only Nigerians with their ancient way of thinking will see this as the right thing to do. This would have been appropriate in the times where marriage is arranged, and the man is the woman's father's age mate or royalty. Now, we have all gone against custom and started choosing our own spouses out of the love and respect we have for each other. Throughout courtship we are lovebirds, then as soon as you get married you turn around and start being an authority figure to your wife? Lets forget about brideprice, do you really think the small money you paid for traditional rites is enough to buy a human being? That you feel you should control a human being like that? Your wife is your partner, and should be free with you. Making yourself a demi-god in the house will only retard the love and success in the marriage. I wouldnt advice a wife to behave like that with her husband, its strange. Affection towards each other will not make you focus on such. I mean dont you have other issues like getting to work early, and paying your bills? you guys make much ado about nothing. What do you want for waking up second? A medal?

Thank you, you have said it all. Nigerians and their obnoxious, unnecessary noise making. That is why marraige is a scam in Naija. No love, no mutual respect and understanding for each other. Its just a slave and master relationship. Terrible!

[quote author=~Sissy~ link=topic=678.msg5604028#msg5604028 date=1267402493]OR maybe go and marry him. when she is 25 or 26 then come back here and tell us how he treats her a like a piece of trash and then we will all ask in chorus " didnt you guys date? didnt you see all this then? why did you go ahead and marry?" next it will be "some women are silly, women and their desperation for marriage and how they always go for the bad guys who will treat them like a piece of shi[i]t[/i] all in the name marriage"

you think that sounds better [/quote]Thank you my sister.

@Poster
Look at Nairaland and all the sorry stories of infidelity, people catching STD from their spouse and the story of "I am married but in love with another". Why can't people wait on God's time? Besides children come from him. We humans always think we have it all figured out and we have our destiny in our hands. Wrong! Wait on God's time and you will have no regret.

Cyberfreak:
Why are people attacking the woman? Is her foolish husband not the reason why she is thinking like this?
Inpain, dont commit infidelity. He is not worth it. One day he will get tired and return to his family.
Me sef I don tire for men. Is intimacy all that they think about?

I wonder too but I am not suprised. The man who cheated is not being reprimanded but the woman is. That is why Naija is a terribly backward country because of the useless male negroes we have in that country who cannot keep that AIDS infested private part in their pant. And yes, intimacy is all men think about that is why they can work for years to build their lives and loose everything just because of the private part of the opposite gender. May AIDS continue to send them to their graves!

nellaluv:
^ ^ if it's nollywood now, mr crackhead will definitely say sumtin bad . . .

Na so now. Generally speaking, do we as a people ever see anything good in ourselves? And you wonder why our country is in the state it is.

Does this look like kindergarten to you? If you don't have nothing reasonable to say, just be quiet Please.

@Poster

Serious reply about what? have you posted a serious question to warrant a serious reply? If you don't know what to look out for in a potential mate then stay single or go back to the drawing board. We are not in kindergarten. Geddit?

Spare me! How are we suppose to help? Are we the ones who got you into this "relationship" of yours to begin with?

What are we discussing? Is this something to discuss? If you are a grown man and you don't know the answer to this question of yours then you need a shrink! I'm out!

THE AMAKA:
i said that because i know most africans are brainwashed and as soon as they start seeing yellow they start jumping up and down.
but whatever,

I agree, especially the men. That is why quite a number of darker toned women go into the harmful practice of bleaching their skin. I never quite understood why alot of Naija women liked to bleach so much when I was child until I became an adult and began to understand that Naija people have the same inferiority complex plaguing black americans, maybe even worse. As a matter of fact, black americans can be excused because they live in a predominately white country that has always been giving them a hard time due to their skin color / tone. But Nigerians, what excuse do we have especially since the british left since 1960, long before many of us were born, and we are a black nation to begin with? Talk about self hate.

peacettw:
Is she pregnant

She certainly looks like it.

[quote author=tpia. link=topic=380558.msg5310331#msg5310331 date=1263424675]george Bush-two girls

Clinton- one girl

Obama- two girls

Nigeria- boys full ground yakata

which country's citizens regularly curse their country and ancestors? [/quote]Exactly! All the craze for boy boy boy (backward African mindset) and then they end up being area boys, yahoo-yahoo or trying to bomb US planes. People please!

Of course it will not work in that culturally backward country of ours where people still have a stagnant mindset comparable to people who lived in this world back in 1755.

Can't quite remember. 16 Maybe. I got more beating from my older siblings. Luckily I left naija or the beating might have continued and I would have ended up really hurting someone. Nigerians are too physically abusive. Heaven help who beats me today. There is no telling what I will do. My Tai Chi classes will come in handy!

snowdrops:
Interesting opinion. So a ban should be placed on men living at home marrying. Maybe if you remove your rose tinted glasses you would realize that not everyone was born with a silver spoon in their mouth.

So you have to be born with a silver spoon to be a MAN? If you cannot provide and take care of a family of your own, then there is no need to get married just yet. No one said there should be a ban placed on "Mama's boys" from getting married but in this day and age when in advanced societies 20 something year old females have their own place (be it rented or purchased), you should not have grown a.s.s naija men with bia bia still living at home with mum and dad and making pathetic excuses. No shame!

Thieves! That is how they came to Africa with the lies that they are bringing Jesus to us and at the end, people were taken out in chains. The white man and their deceptive ways!

@Poster
I do not know. Naija people and their unnecssary wahala. Do what suits you. How about that?

@Poster

What you choose to do is entirely up to you. If you don't know what to do, then stay single till an idea falls into your brain.

@Poster
Na una know. To be in a relationship is not by force or is it by force in Nigeria now?