₦airaland Forum

agathamari:
when addressing a young woman: western see madam as an insult on her age nigeria as a sign of respect
when addressing elders: western see bowing/curtse as an insult nigeria as a compliment
when speaking to someone on the phone: western culture turns off the music/tv or steps away from the noise. nigerian yells over the noise
when speaking in person: western looks the person in the eye. nigerian look everywhere but at the person
when shaking hands: westen firm handshake nigerian a wet noodle
when going indoors: western ladies first/ person coming indoors first nigerian push and shove and hope not to get trampled
when driving: western leave a safe distance between cars and waiting your turn when entering narrow roads or turning nigeria tailgaiting and ramming everyone in site


o[b]ne thing that drives me crazy is nigerian say sorry for everything except for when they should be sorry. and the never say please or thankyou[/b]

ozenyen:
Any July 29 in the house?

slimfine:
@nwaka77: thank you

KB1:
Well your comment seemed rather blanketed. I was just attempting to obtain clarification. You said that you didn't want to deal with the momma drama, as if all AA men are a bunch of Baby daddies separated from their kids mothers. I was just trying to obtain clarification on what exactly your meaning behind that statement of yours was.

slimfine:
do not put words into my mouth!

ifyalways:
Use almost rotten pepper and tomatoes.
when u add maggi,wash ur hands inside the stew.
Use firewood or charcoal pot to cook.
This shld help

Badriyyah:
LoL, I make something like that, In germany we call it Spaghetti auflauf. I'm going to try your recipe!!

Theblessed:
Oh my God, where have I heard this crap before?  There's a lot of brainwashing going on here!!   Hey Amamat, you don't need a man to be a woman, Ok! This has been proven time and time again.  We all came into this world alone and must leave it alone (I said MUST).  I don't know who is emotionally blackmailing and brainwashing you with that idea.  Look, God made them man and woman, ok!  lf a woman is incomplete without a man so is a man incomplete without a woman.  God had since shown these ignorant chauvinists that men and women are equal but… different yet, they chose to be blind and deaf.  Now tell me, if they are not equal - how can a man have a baby without a woman and vice versa, eh?  You need the two - you need the X and Y chromosomes to form a human being which is the greatest creation and the greatest achievement any human being can attain besides, God has told us that he created us all in his own image (man and woman) yet these people are making some women feel inadequate for their own selfish needs.  No Gods children, are second best as all things are bright and beautiful.
No, you don't need them. In fact, men desperately need us more than we need them - that's why men are always the first to seek a partner in situations involving singleton e.g. deaths, divorces etc they are usually the first in the queue quickly searching for partner to replace their previous one - check it out!!!! For women, it would take a long haul to consider going through that again i.e. to consider taking on another man.  So be proud of yourself and what you have achieved as a young woman because you only need them to pro-create your babies, period.  From now on please, don't let any man make you feel inadequate or bad about yourself for not being married.  Marriage is not compulsory, it’s choice – if you like, you marry else, live your life and have your babies with any man you fancy and can be a good father to your children, that’s all.  You see, you can achieve anything you want in life if you set your heart on it - you can have education, investments, cars, houses or even your own children without being married to anybody.  God gave you the freed to do what you want therefore you don't need a man to achieve these things in life.   Problem is, you are in a culture that intimidates women.  A culture that never supports or celebrates a woman's achievement for their own selfish needs (to control women) -  if your culture is going to stifle you from attaining your God given potentials, the best thing to do is pack your bag and find your way out of that bondage in order to discover the happiness and peace of mind they'd so long denied you.  Hopefully, you would find a guy that respect and support your freedom to be who you want  to be and both of you would set out creating the kind of world you want to be in to achieve your God given potential as a woman thus, a whole and complete woman.
/quote]



Gbam! You've said it all especially the bolded part. Bless your heart for this post. I agree especially with the bolded part.

Badriyyah:
This is just Pathetic. Marriage isn't about having kids, what if she can't have more children? What are you going to do then? You have already been blessed with a little girl, why don't you be patient and wait for it to be her choice before you decide to have another. To all the men ranting here, are you going to carry the child for 9months, breastfeed, change diapers, etc. What he is doing is forcing himself on his wife. She has a right to choose, so let her be. And we wonder why Nigeria will never progress, it's because of people like you who still live like they are in the 1800's.
I'm waiting for the Poster to say the only reason he wants a child is because he wants a BOY!!!!

MRbrownJAY:
@FBS
lets review some of your quotes, you said: You are not being realistic by not recognising the fact that, they are married. She gave a pledge. FOR BETTER AND FOR WORSE. Have you any idea what that means? I guess not.

whatever tree you are swinging from, you need to come down and live in the real world where men and women live in marriages as EQUALS rather that one serving the other. marriage is a unity of two forces bound with loyalty, respect, trust, faithfulness and companionship. a couple is a complete unit working TOGETHER. if for any reason, there are problems within this unit then the two parties should try to resolve them by talking or finding a solution that fits BOTH parties and that they BOTH agree upon. if no solution should arise then i see no point in them staying together UNLESS one of the party is willing to back down. obviously the poster was not willing to back down and neither do the wifey so leaving was the only choice that the wifey supposedly had.
i know that in YOUR world, you wife is your servant and should abide by your rules (whichever they may be) but in the real world, with a real woman, you wouldn't stand a chance. She owns her body and SHE has the last say on matters relating to that body.
Having another child IN THE UNIT should ONLY go ahead if she wants one too (especially if her man has planned their whole life ahead without including HER needs). In what jungle do you live where men can just decide on everything in a marriage?! both person has a say in EVERYTHING that has to do with the couple and leaving/divorce should be the only option if no agreement can be reached.
It seems to me like 2people who hardly knew each other got married. if she is a gold digger like everyone seems to believe then it is the poster's fault for not knowing who he got married to. next time he should try to spend a little more time DISCOVERING who is bride to be REALLY IS.

then you said: One can only wonder why there are many brokens homes. Because something is not going right in your home, the next thing is to leave? Can you actually read what you are writing? THEY ARE MARRIED and he is not in any way molesting her.
This is not about choice, if it was, she should have envisaged the fact that (and she did agree with her husband-at least according to him to have one than one child) her choice was made earlier while she was going into the marriage. You are yet to prove to me the sudden change of mind. That maybe she had complications on her first delivery is only your assumption. Yes or No?

Are you married? i hope not for the sake of your poor wife. do you mean that molestation is the only reason for someone to leave?! i can find you many other reasons. lack of respect/communication/commitment, change in priorities, dishonesty, psychological/sexual abuse, alcohol/drug abuse, infidelity, different goals(career/family), inability to resolve conflicts, cultural/lifestyle differences etc etc etc. the wifey has all the rights to change her mind. what world do you live in where you have to stick to whatever you have planned years ago. who knows why the wifey changed her mind?!there can be thousands of reasons like the one i just stated above. the important part is that SHE DID change her mind and the poster should understand her. if they cannot come to an agreement then i see only one option but to leave. why should she do something she doesn't want to do?! RESPECT YOUR PARTNERS NEEDS and if you CAN'T then you shouldn't be married. if he really loved her, like he now claims, then he should have waited 6yrs to have more kids. BASTA!
HE wants more kids, she doesn't. why should one party do something they don't want to do?! the bible say women should bare children so this wifey should just shut up and have children? is that what you are insinuating?! i hope not, jungle man.

then you said:
My argument is, there is no concrete reason, why she has refused to. All you are blabbing is pure assumptions and they certainly hold no water. Go and do your revision.


the concrete reason is that SHE HAS CHOSEN NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN NOW.the important word here is CHOSEN/CHOICE, is that not a good enough reason for you? or is she not as equal in this marriage and therefore has the RIGHT to decide if she wants one or not?
everybody make plans but circumstances of life make people alter their plans. this is normal, people adapting to whatever situation they find themselves in.
people like you don't need wives but a puppet/slave that does whatever YOU want in this unity without having a brain or a say in anything within this unit.just cook, clean, bare children and be merry. god forbids if she disagree with you as you would probably knock her on the head and rape her.

this story makes absolutely NO SENSE. any woman would know how to pop a pill and be done with all the baby talks. she DIDN'T have to go and therefore there is more to this story. now poster said that she doesn't love him any longer. so in my book, she had all the reason to leave. or should she stay in the marriage for poster's ego?! should she stay in this marriage, be unhappy and have babies just because HE WANTS it?!

you asked me what is a woman role in a marriage?! this is the 21st century, women are companion, confidante, helper, contributor, supporter, admirer, to COMPLETE a man, to strengthen a man, to share his struggle and happiness, to bring wisdom/peace/understanding, to communicate love/trust/warmth/honesty. the list goes on, and this goes BOTH WAYS!!!!!
so you see we have 2 different view of what a wife role in a marriage is. making a family/have children is the least of my concern as long as we are BOTH happy in the unit.

kathyekiti:
What has Obama got to do with this?

ifele:
When we talk about " abroad" we mean western world white mans country. Yu see I am in Canada and they will allow some blacks to succeed while they are using them to make money. They will degrade some of us to cleaner and make us do shitty jobs so they can laugh at us. They refuse to give us good jobs even though we are capable. My class mate who went to university with me here in Toronto he is driving taxi now. I beleive black should seize any opportunity to take advantage of whites and get what they want and escape to their own country Africa the motherland. White people are dangerous,demonic and callous. They have humiliated black people now God has humiliated them. If yu are black and yu live in us,uk,canada, europe get their(whitey) money whether through lottery or fraud and go back to Africa to develop yur countries.Thats the only way to solve our problems. Look at the Chinese there are thousands of them in Canadian, US, UK but they always go back home to develop their country. Thats why China is great. Thats why Korea is great.Thats why Japan is great. Blacky wake up.