₦airaland Forum

TheArchangel:
If you no wan make dem chop for your burial, no chop for other peoples burial....no collect souvenir too. No bi say after you don chop finish sotey and even collect lorry loads of souvenirs join when it gets to your turn your family go dey sing another song.

You no join group for church, your name no dey for register, you no dey come church but when you die you dey expect church members to come bury you. You are on a long thing abeg. Naim be say, church go enter your name postmortem na and you go pay as much as they want depending on the leniency of the treasurer. The MosT painful part be say, this dead peeps had people who would've advised and cajoled them to do the right thing when they were alive, instead their relatives will turn a blind eye will be waiting for whom to lay the blame on. You've got people with town unions scattered in every cities yet they won't join and register. Then when the chips are down and the relatives are asked to register postmortem they will start crying foul. This point shouldn't even be an issue please, every human needs to belong somewhere, don't be an island and then wait for whom to blame. Pay your levies and fines. Do not be a burden to others when you are gone, damnit, that's wickedness.

For this part of Africa, we celebrate birth and death alike...and it has come to stay. After crying and weeping comes the merriment.

When burying someone it is better to cut your cloth according to your size. As Nigerians dey so, even the poorest of the poor knows the cost of the obituary papers, caskets, paraphernalias people uses in burials. Once the obituary papers looks like the handwork of Michelangelo and Picasso then the prices of whatever services that will be rendered will quadrupled.

I agree entirely with you.
Orthodox Churches, for example, have established ways of playing their roles during weddings, burials and even child dedication involving their members.

When a man runs away from his responsibilities in the Church, even his social group, when the time of reckoning comes, he must update his status before whatever honour is bestowed on him. This rule applies to everybody.

So it is surprising for somebody to lament having to clear with the Church before is wedding or uncle's burial could hold.
It is norms that keep the society in order.

There is no problem with giving food and drink to sympathisers during a burial. Virtually every society does it.
The issue should be the degree.

While extravagance in burial ceremonies is not encouraged, it is traditional that individuals who came from far and near be given, at least drinking water.
Those who do not care about the food actually leave almost immediately after burial.

Depending on the age of the deceased, burial could be a celebration of life well lived.

brunobaba:
I have no favorite position in bed,though i like to explore different styles,however the doggy comes to mind whenever that question arises...

Haba!
I think you need to read the post again. ..

I think the OP meant which part of the bed - outer side, middle, or near the wall - that you prefer to sleep on.

Good to know about your styles anyway.
Lol......

In fact, if everybody should maintain just one account and give a good thought before they post a thread, NL will be less congested.

As a result, we will see only quality posts that enlighten and educate.

The way it is now, most of the threads that appear on the front page have been mainly tid bits. More on celebrity pictutes, snakes, etc.

Would it be correct to say that the seeker of the truth does not deserve it if he is most likely to abuse or misuse the truth?

If Abraham and Isaac had told the truth, chances were they would have lost their lives and wives, too.

Same goes for the robber: he is trying to reap where he did not sow so he does not deserve the truth.

The Bible often uses the word "shrewd" to describe smart and intelligent merchants...

I think knowing when to withhold the truth is shrewd.

lexiconkabir:
Your last statement is so true, you cant develop an enduring study method except you are in the higher institution, if someone had told me i would be reading this way(that i do now) when i was in high school, i wouldn't have believed, the funny thing is, no one is forcing me, unlike high school where i was forced.

Thanks for your observation.
I thought I was the only one that felt this way.

Rick9:
What a list. Was expecting to see skills like

Learn Graphics Design, web design, Photoshop, blogging etc like seriously WTF

At last I have seen somebody who had the same thought as me.
I had expected some handy money making skills to help sustain in school.
Skills like how to sew, painting, photograghy, etc.
Anyway, some found it nice, I didn't. See my response ...

If this post was referring to a 6 years old boy about to go to the boarding school, it would have made more sense to me.
Most university-eligible males/females do not need training on how to wash, iron, and fold their clothes.

OP did not elaborate on "Healthy Diet/Eat Properly."
Anybody who has passed through the higher institution will know that financial crunch is always a problem.
I had expected smart ways to feed at low cost.

Regarding how to study, the student will not develop an enduring study method until he/she gets to the school.
I say this because the method adapts to the course, department, and school as a whole.

Dejideji1:
What is irritating there? It's just like saying the sight of trees/Bush/grass irritates you, that is ridiculous.
They are doing it for camouflage to make them difficult to spot.

There is nothing irritating about the camouflage.
In fact, I am impressed at their creativity.

Serious problems, they say, require serious measures.
Even American soldiers use non-uniform camouflage.
Only thing I don't know is whether this one is synthetic or fresh leaves.

charix:
At the rate we're going it would reach a point where Nigerians who deem it a necessity and have sufficient funds would generate their own form of constant electricity either through the use of fuel and diesel generators, inverters or solar panels. We're still at the genesis of the trend, give it thirty more years.
Some families with minimal electricity consumption would choose to sell electricity to their neighbours. An example is a friend I once knew whose family purchased a personal transformer and decided to sell upconverted current to five neighbouring houses. The houses were made to pay N2,000 each to one of the man's sons which added up to N10,000 pocket money for the boy every month.

It is very possible.
I even read here on NL about some firm that is offering some kind of mortgage domestic and office solar energy system.
It comes in different KVA capacities that require some down payment and then fixed monthly payment till paid off.
Again, cost is the problem.

That was a very good analysis by you, charix.
I think at the head of it all is corruption plus lack of will on the part of the government.
If nothing is done, the situation will only get worse and we will never indusrialise.

I foresee solar energy taking over in the near future , but problem is the cost to the average Nigerian.
May God help us.

It appears the OP is looking for support and justification for her conflict of emotions.
She loves kids but does not want to get pregnant.

On what basis did she pass herself as incapable of being a good mom?
Is the only son not doing well? Well, we are not given this info.

In fact, I think the OP is afraid of the responsibilities that come with having more than one child.
But if she and her husband are O.K. with it, then who are we to say nay.

Could somebody, please, enlighten me as to why is it that Nigeria, The Giant of Africa, cannot generate, well, should I say, enough electricity for the masses.
The technology for power generation is not a hidden secret; it is not in the moon, so why are we behind even most African countries?

I don't know if it is true, but I have heard stories that certain interest groups had been blocking government efforts to improve power supply.
Can a few individuals be more powerful the the Federal or State government?

If the electricity situation was better decades ago, why is it getting worse in the 21St century?
Does anybody have an idea what should be done...?

I feel sad paying those huge electricity, sorry, wire retainership, bills every month!

Ujoan:
I don't think compromising her own safety is the best way to go . . .

@ Adaobi12

Please under no circumstance should you go to their house and face the man alone. Bring this issue to the attention of the school authority and then follow up from there and NEVER investigate alone.

If you really want to help, keep the boy closer to you and feed him when you can.

Also, let his mother know what is going on.

Well done!

Many useful suggestions have been made.
Whichever is chosen, majority opinion is that the boy's family should be approached with what the teacher discovered.
I pray she succeeds.

No, he was not sleeping. .
He was meditating on matters of national urgency!
Lol....

"Stop expecting what your husband cannot afford and stop pushing your husband to steal simply because you feel that you must belong. A good marriage is not a function of your possession."

Quoting you as above:
A good marriage should in fact start as early as the planning stage of the wedding, when the woman does not insist on a wedding with a bang when the husband cannot afford it. There has been many posts about it here.

Most women fail, or rather refuse , to come to terms with the fact that after the wedding, the family will need to grow and responsibilities follow.

[quote author=Victorakats post=47612937]"Stop expecting what your husband cannot afford and stop pushing your husband to steal simply because you feel that you must belong. A good marriage is not a function of your possession."

Quoting you as above:
A good marriage should in fact start as early as the planning stage of the wedding, when the woman does not insist on a wedding with a bang when the husband cannot afford it. There has been many posts about it here.

Most women fail, or rather refuse , to come to terms with fact that after the wedding, the family will need to grow and responsibilities follow.

0rex:
He must have meant the actuator on the door, not the entire central locking system. But what you should do is to go to a locksmith. The damaged lock is most likely jamming the actuator.

I thought the same, too.
Maybe we should first change the key and see what happens.

baconline:
The only way to know ,is to open up the door, sometimes its just adjustments that is needed. The key hole can be dismantled and reassembled again, a locksmith will do that for u

Thanks.
The door sure needs to be opened to see what went wrong therein.

[quote author=crunchyg post=47618774]From Deuteronomy 14:22-27 and 26:12, one can deduce as follows:

Tithing was not even a monthly exercise as practised today.
It was every 3 years - the year of tithes.
The Levites were just one group of the benefited
Tithing was basically a family cum communal event.

I still believe that one can directly distribute the money to the widows, fatherless, etc instead of giving it to the Church.
The end is same.

[quote author=tsamson post=47626489]Thanks for your suggestions.
But I am not in Lagos or environs...
I only need ideas on best thing to do.

Please I need help with what an auto body technician advised us recently.

Our family 2000 Honda Shuttle(European edition of Honda Odyssey) driver side door was recently tampered with by an u known person to gain entry.
After that, the door key could no longer enter the key hole as it was damaged.
In fact, doing so risks the key getting seized in the key hole.

Normally, unlocking the trunk/booth with the key unlocks all the doors, too.

Problem now is when the trunk is unlocked as usual, other doors will unlock but the tampered door will not unlock.
If the door is just closed, it can be opened from both inside and outside via the handles.

The technician said to change the central lock of the driver door. Is he correct?

How does the mechanical act of damaging the door key affect that door's central lock mechanism?
Could it be that one of the rods is off its latch?

Thanks for your time.

P/S: Car has no security or remote opener. Just key for doors and ignition.

I don't come to this section often..
Since you like the Jennifer Hudson genre, here are some of my EasyBeat collections.
Hope you like them:

Jagged Edge:-
Did she say.
I gotta be.
Promise.
Without you.

Sammie - Mechanic.
The Dream - That's my shit.

Bobby Valentino - Slow down.
- Give me a chance.

J. Valentine - Beat it up.

Mario - Just a friend.

Walter Beasley - You are the one.

Rihanna - Work(ft Drake).

Kelly Rowland - Lay it on me.

R. Kelly - Bump and grind.

Joe Public - I miss you.

**If you are also into Jazz, I could post some of my Jazz collections.
I have both saxy and bassy tunes.

Adaobi12:
Thanks alot for your concern.
I will rather send for the father, if he doesn't come i will have no choice but to contact their mum.
Am equally surprised why the HM doesn't want to say or do anything concerning the issue.

That's also good.
Your concern is highly appreciated.

Adaobi12:
The boy is 9, his younger brother is 4.
i can't visit the boy's father at home.my safety. Someone that cares less about his sons isn't a nice person.

About contacting the boy's mother was my initial plan.

I understand the fear for your safety.
But you are not an enemy so I seriously believe you won't be harmed.

However, you can take a friend with you.
The result of your visit to the father will give you far more insight into this case and how best to handle it.

By the way, it was very callus of the school authority not to take serious interest in this matter.
They are only after his money, which is not good.

Please follow this matter to its logical conclusion.
If you would provide your phone number, I could send you air time for the call to the mom.
I know you can afford it but that's to show how concerned I am.
May God bless your efforts.

Please do not be discouraged by those who say there is little or nothing you can do.
There is a lot you can do for this boy as his teacher.
It could be that destiny has brought him to your class.

A teacher is not just there to teach reading and writing; he also doubles as counselor and social worker.
In those days, when a student was absent from school, his teacher would visit his house to know why.

First, you do not need to hide the situation from the boy's mom. She has to know.
Perhaps, she can arrange something either by herself, through an uncle, aunt, brother, etc, to help the boy.
You have her number, call her.

Secondly, you need to visit the boy's father at home.
He should be happy that somebody is taking a personal interest in his son.
Tell him all you know, including that fact that the boy told you his mom does not live with them.

A man that stays out all night, leaving his young children at home, unless working, sounds to me like a womaniser and drunkard.
Such people are always paranoid; they suspect every move of their wives.

By the way, are the other siblings in school. How old are they?
Is it possible you can post a feedback here sometime?

Waladade4luv:
Op infact am aving d same challenge as u r and the main problem is dt advisers are too many for even from ladies who never even get husband 2 propose to them talkles of getting married. She want everything and friends will b telling her its d husband dt foot all d bill the only thing she is planning 2 spend is d 20k she budgetted for cake. Dear most of our ladies are d same

You need not be confused ...
Majority opinion here is against spending on a wedding to impress people.

I have witnessed many weddings and I have been through it, too.
If possible, cut down on the cake - maybe 3 - 4 steps instead of 7. It's only symbolic.

Ask your wife to provide superior argument why she wants so and so amount spent on so and so item.
After the extravagance, it will eventually fall on you to be the man and provide for the family.
She will thank you afterwards for being so firm. Women like their men to be firm.

After all the razzmatazz, then what?
A lot of couples I know regretted having to spend so much on their wedding.
They wished they had another chance.

Just to lend voice to the majority opinion here:
Usually the man makes most wedding financial decisions, even if she contributes money.
Live within your means..; it is not a competition.

eyinjuege:
Most of the time, the love that brought the couple together doesn't sustain them in the face of sickle cell crises in their kids

Exactly...
The couple will start to blame each other...
" You pushed me into it.."
"No, it was your fault..., remember I told you we should quit?"
Bla, bla ...

duduade:
Summary of this story o....

It took me days to write and edit this post to make it brief as possible while not losing vital info.
The first paragraph should have spiked your curiosity, if you read it.

I have also used good spacing and paragraphs for ease of reading.
So what is the problem ...?
If you are looking for gossip posts with women in swimsuits and cleavages, sorry, I don't have it.

The Bible asks “Can a man gather fire in his bosom and not be burned?”(Proverbs 6:27).
Also, can a man fetch ant-infested firewood and not expect lizards to visit his house?(Nigerian proverb).
A couple took a decision some 3 years ago that is now causing them and their children misery.
This is no tale or one of those fabricated stories; it is real. I will give a little simple background on the relevant biology and then present the problem. So read on…

When two people of opposite sex fall in love that is leading to marriage, one of the tests that are carried out these days, apart from HIV test, is genotype test. This is to know whether either one or both parties have a genetic makeup that would make it inadvisable for them to marry. Usually, the mind goes to sickle cell disease.

The normal genotype is “AA”, which is most common; the sickle cell disease genotype is “SS” and is rare. However, when the individual has the “AS” genotype, he (or she) is known as a “carrier” (you have the disease, but it does not disturb you at all).

I have not seen “SS” individual marrying another “SS” person because of the obvious consequences. However, when two “AS” people marry, they are in for a huge gamble with the genotypes of their children.

Let me not assume that everybody here has a basic grasp of Genetics. For those who do, this may appear redundant. In simple terms, assuming “AS” man marries “AS” woman, each time the woman is pregnant, the man donates either his “A” or “S” gene to the baby. The woman also donates either her “A” or “S” gene to the baby. Genes go as pairs to bring forth their effects.

If both donate their “A” genes, baby will be “AA” genotype, fine. But if the man donates his “A” gene and the woman donates her “S” gene, baby will be “AS” genotype, no cause for alarm. Same holds true if the man donates his “S” gene and the woman her “A” gene. However, if both man and woman donate their “S” gene, the baby will be “SS” or a sickler.

Why did I say “AS” vs “AS” couple is in for a huge gamble?
It is not known how nature does it and what factors favour the donation of a particular gene against the other. So it is a chance occurrence. At the time of conception, the potential combinations of the genes and genotype of the unborn child will be “AA”, “AS”,”AS”, “SS”.

That is, 1 out of 4 chances (or 25%) during each pregnancy, the baby is likely to be born with sickle cell disease. It’s like you have 3 good apples and 1 rotten apple in a bag and you are asked to close your eyes, dip in your hand once and pick one apple. Twenty-five percent appears small but the risk is there to happen that your first pick, your baby’s genotype, will be the rotten apple.
Of course, it is possible that all the children are normal, it is only by luck.

Now the problem:
This lady met and fell in love with her man. Fast forward to marriage plans and the necessary blood tests. Result came out and both were genotype “AS.” Both were educated and knew the implications of getting married. In no time, the lady got pregnant. First baby was “SS” genotype, second baby was also “SS” genotype. Measures are now in place to avoid any more pregnancy for obvious reasons.

Now the hospital has become their second home as the children go into crisis after crisis (being very sick with severe body pains, usually in the bones). Factor in days absent from work/school, loss of income, the emotions, etc and you will appreciate the magnitude of the problem.

My questions are:
Should a couple, both “AS” genotype, out of love for each other, ignore the almost certain/real possibility that they may beget “SS” children and go ahead and get married?

Is the love of “AS” couple for each other more important than the health and happiness of their children yet unborn?

Would it not have been better if the couple went their separate ways knowing that they were not destined to marry each other? Is love this blind?

Anybody who has seen a sickler knows that sickle cell disease is handful, a source of misery and a drain on the family income. The body system of sicklers is so picky about the quality of their air and environment. They cannot tolerate limited supply of oxygen like normal people do.

On a closing note, it is not wise to allow the heart to rule the head when the result of a blood test indicates that marriage is not advisable between two people. The marriage will be threatened by stress and regrets in the end. Let everybody beware.

shyenar999:
PLA
Parent Lecturer Association

Thanks.
All the same...as long as they address the issues.