I can perfectly relate. In my own case, they tagged me, Alfa, even total strangers I got to meet for the first time are fond of tagging such titled on me, which mostly do get me pissed that I had to explicitly tell some not to call me such. I'm not even religiously or Islamically knowledgeable to deserve such title, all due to my acts and softlook. Moreso, my introverted nature.
Though it has saved me some couple of times where people defended me in my absent when crimes occurred, even when normally, I was also a suspect as per police investigation, but was defended that, I'm the last person to have been the culprit, that I shouldn't be bother and they should focus their investigation somewhere else.
I do stay away from trouble and mostly do mind my business.
Omoh, d mata just weak me at tymz

Mum used to say, 'The water fish is destined to drink from, will never flow pass it mouth'.

And I keep realising how truthful the saying is.

Awakened38:


Wow!!! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your struggles here with us. Believe you me, I can perfectly identify with you. So far, I think you come closest in terms of commonalities with I, but perhaps only because you've taken the pain of going into more details than most of us have done here.
To be honest, I think you're doing very well already, in that, you're taking steps to both enlighten yourself and rob minds with likeminds.
My advice for you is to stay the path, keep doing what you're doing. Continue to educate yourself using various available materials and associating with likeminds such as the groups you're already subscribed to.

However, the most important thing you want to do is to realise that what you have is not a burden, but a gift. And please don't convince yourself of this or believe it, no, you need to realise this for yourself. It has to be your reality. And how do you do this? You do this by taking time to really analyse the trait(hsp), and then ponder, is it really the trait that's upsetting you or is it the fact that you're different from most, or that others see you as weird that is the problem?
If you're different, remember that only a "different person" can make a difference in the world. You must get comfortable with being different, otherwise, you'll never be able to explore the wonderful gift that nature has bestowed in you, and you end up people pleasing all the time. Every great person I've ever known was considered weird.

Stop trying to conform to the world. The problem with the world today is the problem of conformism; people ain't questioning the status quo enough, most are too afraid to be different. But all greats were those who dared to be different. That's why with due respect, I see some religious people as hypocrites; on the one hand they say they're followers of say Jesus for example, but they're not willing to be nonconformist as Jesus was, they're are not willing to standout from the crowd as there master.

Brother Nature has bestowed upon you the potential for greatness - take it. And I'm not taking about greatness in terms of fame.

If you're a truth seeker, by all means pursue that path. Spirituality has been my greatest strength. I experienced my awakening in pursuit of truth. Note that I'm not talking about religion but Spirituality in terms of self realisation. I have found peace in Spirituality.

Wishing you peace

Thanks for taking your time to analyze and respond to my submission, likewise your valued advise.
Your words are really soothing and comforting.

As an HSP, I find it difficult to make friends cos I don't just have the energy. All I got are acquittances, which are always influenced based on the circumstances unfolding.

I hardly seek for help, and I also dread rejection. Should one willingly offer to help me, but after my rejection, the person insisted and went on with it, I would automatically see myself being indebted to such person, and what would cloud my mind is a way of doing something as a form of payback for such generosity for the person.

As a guy, I act too sensitive and emotional for one, as I feel things to the extreme and over analyze every situation. I feel bad when I say, NO to someone and do regret afterwards, even though my stand was the right thing to do. My conscience wouldn't just let go.

The way I think doesn't most times, resonate with way other's think cos what seems to be abnormal and improper to me, is what the society adopted and glorified.

Just recently, I received two goodnews which I wasn't expecting that moment, I just got super overwhelmed with it that my body became so hot and active, the adrenaline was just too much for me to curtail, that I had to go take a shower to calm myself a bit.

I observe every little changes in someone or in a room, and I get to easily spot a fellow introvert.

My personality trait was kinda rare and weird aswell, INFJ-T (Introverted, Intuitive, Feelings, Judgemental - Turbulent), plus I'm Melancholic in nature, coupled with my Cancer Zodiac Sign (even though most don't believe in this stuff, but I funnily do cos it mostly describe my person).

Loving wisely has been something I'm finding difficult to do, cos I love easily and it's always to the extreme, and when I get hurt, it do affect me deeply. I presently still surfer from heartbreak of over 4-years ago and still blame myself for not listening to my inner self when it was showing me the glaring red flags which I overlooked, not until the shit hit me on the face.

My mood swings wouldn't even help matter, this minute I'm happy, the next, I'm depressed. I mostly keep to myself and only relate with people I'm already familiar with to some certain degree and feel secure around.

I hate anything violence and abrupt changes. I've read different books to probably help me out, even though, there are some improvements, I still feel somehow about my person. Books like, WHY U ACT THE WAY U DO; ATOMIC HABIT; QUIET, THE POWER OF INTROVERT IN A WORLD THAT WON'T STOP TALKING, etel.

I joined some foreign Facebook groups like Empath, Old Soul, and the likes, I felt the westerners understand this differences in personality than we do here in Africa, and I also belong to an Introvert WhatsApp Group which also have been one of my coping mechanics, getting to have people who share similarities with myself, give this idea of, YOU AREN'T ALONE sense of belonging.

It has really not been easy coping in a world dominated by those who shared a diverse personality with one.

pstemma1990:
read the post well, this one happened before the charcoal own.. Thanks.. This very one as I said in the post, is already 1 full year..
The charcoal guy happened September last year...

As for it being a format, I don't have much to say on that, I'm matured more than some things, u saw the names, the phone number and pictures of the person involved..

Even the last guy came here to give another version, but later ran away when he couldn't answer some questions..

This was one of the numerous mistakes that I made last year, I've learnt my lessons.. I'm only asking if there's a way I can get my money back, that's all.

4rm dis ya reply, e show sey, u be same guy on both cases, but as I talk am b4, u supoz don learn 4rm one nd avoid d oda. Even if na dis one 1st hapun, u supoz don learn 4rm am, so d oda one sef no go fit hapun.
No be sey I dey blame u o, as e fit hapun 2 anybody, I just bliv sey, once bitten, twice shy. Fire no supoz burn pesin 2X.

Bros, ur mata get as e be o.
Shey no be same u kom NL kon complaint last year ontop pesin wey u borrow money tk invest 4 Charcoal business, but later dey dribble u? U sey u don learn ur lesson 4rm d thread.
Now again, u carry money go invest ontop anoda pesin hustle. E be like sey u no dey gree learn 4rm ur mistake abi na format u just dey throw sef.

P.S: Unless no be u get dat moniker sha

Evaloyal2J:
Please house I can find my àccess code to log in. Someone suggested I use my nin but it's not àcceptin it. Is there anyway I can get back my access code?

You might need to keep trying using ur NIN, it should go, if it's still not, then, d issue is 4rm dia server end, just keep trying with it.

SyrusdeHansome:
This is what u shud do: (1) call her to come over 2ur place dis evening nd b4 she comes look 4 anything that looks fetish with a black nd a red material tied around it. (2) wen she comes make her very com4table, serve her drink or food nd make her com4table. (3) Bring out the material, look at her with all amount of seriousness nd tell her the origin nd what the fetish material stands for using this words: babe i'm very happy to learn that u're pregnant 4 me but in my family we don't just accept pregnancy, so to avoid fathering other pple's children my ancestors made this thing to discourage women frm using pregnancy to lie to men. Babe am not disputing the fact that u're pregnant 4 me but i have to follow my family's custom and tradition, 4 me 2 take full responsibility of this pregnancy u have to place ur tongue on it nd after place the material on ur belly. If the pregnancy is mine u will deliver safe nd sound but if it's not mine on ur day of delivery u will die painfully without giving birth.

Chai! U be wicketh wike o

mashad:
Mine is telling me that my number had been used whenever I try input my BVN. How come ?

It's from their end. I also had same issue, coupled with the BVN palava. I've mentioned how I got to overcome it. The issue is from their end. You might want to try same approach. Just stroll up to my initial comment.

JudgeNotHi:
...
* My wedding still holds this month.
* I never brought myself to tell my bride to be about this episode, As I was advised against doing such from majority of the elders aware of the case. (Don't judge me please)
Maybe one day I will...if ever.

Thanks & God Bless.

I'm happy for you bro. Just as I earlier opined, not telling your wife-to-be is the best thing to do in this situation. Imagine you resolved to telling her, now this revelation of you not being responsible for the pregnancy could have spell doom for your marriage right before it even started, and you would forever regret such act. The damage it would have cause could have been irredeemable.

Lesson learnt. Moving forward, you need to be careful and stay faithful. Wish you a blissful wedding and marital life.

Congratulations in advance.

highbee02:
I have not been able to register for the INEC ad hoc staff recruitment excercise for 2023 general elections, INVALID BVN

I just came back from Cafe and the response was still the same (INVALID BVN).


Though I obtained a loan from SHARP SHARP and I have not been able to pay back, could this be the reason behind the INVALID BVN RESPONSE?

Hey bro! Don't know if you've been able to rectify your issue yet. Was having same, but have been able to fix it and successfully complete the registration.

Should you are yet to, you might want to try out same approach I used which was going back to the mail sent to my email address, then clicking the link contained in it while also resupplying the NEW PASSWORD stuff, then proceeded with the rest of the registration without issue.

The issue is actually from their end. Same applies to those whose facing error message like, 'THE PHONE NUMBER HAS ALREADY BEEN USED' issue.

Hmmmm! You said you are an online person, yet, you didn't know you don't have to be in a particular location to apply for jobs in that location abi?

Bro, kudos to you on the part of being able to save such amount during your service year, and I'm convince it wasn't your allawee you were able to save to make up such amount, you definitely have been doing a side gig to boost such savings, in lieu of that, I would suggest you keep on with that very hustle, provided it's legit, relocate to a state with low or average cost of living, get yourself a decent apartment and keep on with your online thing while you also search online for job opportunities surrounding your target dream coy OR you relocate to a state you have family or relative you could put up with for the main time (this is to save you issue of rent, temporarily), then do your things from there and keep applying to jobs, when they call you for interview, then you go honour it, then comeback afterward, and when any of them click, you can then think of relocating to the place (Lagos).

The 500k you think you were able to save is kind of valuable in an average state, not somewhere like Lagos. I read someone earlier suggested you get a selfcon around mainland for about 150k, let's assume you were able to get it at such price (this is assumption o cos the charges and commissions from agent would even make it impossible, or so I thought), you wouldn't be sleeping on bare floor or not have basic stuff inside to keep you running, all those alone, if didn't gup up the whole 500k, would almost.

So, be logical with your approach and not make a PERMANENT DECISION ON A TEMPORARY FEELINGS.

Blessedmercy8:
This man I'm doing business with is very inconsiderate and I've lve decided to pay him in his own coin.

He supplied me books at very exorbitant rate this year to which my schools complained and I had to sell at a rate that didn't fetch much gain. I begged him to bring down the price but he wasn't bending and told me to drop his books if I'm not ok with the price claiming the cost of printing has gone up.

Three days ago, I asked him to supply more of a particular class and he said he's out of stock of it and I was like why didn't you print enough copies knowing its a new session. He said he didn't even print at all for that particular class that the one he gave me was from three years ago production. Hmm... I now thought that why did he now sell it the same high rate with the others.

So, I texted him and told him, I'm not going to pay the new rate for that class since it was from three years ago. That's cheating. He then said hes not going to collect any old rate. That I must pay the new one. Meanwhile, I had some of his books remaining from last year (old rate) that I've sold this year and even told him about it cos he didn't know. I paid part already but I'm thinking of keeping the remaining from old stock to make up for the cheating.

Am I being slothful if I do that because this man is such a greedy fellow. Books from 450 to 750. I even regret telling him about the leftovers with me. Just sent him part of the money this evening. He's not aware I still have a few more.

Please advise me cos I hate cheating.

Seun
Nlfpmod.

What I see here is business, not cheating, and in business which is tantamount to contract, you either agree or disagree. Just as he already asked you, return his book should you are not okay with his price, then find another seller that his/her price resonate with your expectation. Situation or when his products were produced is none of your concern. I guess you don't consider what he also had to put in place, storage wise, to get those books still intact and useful. I bet if he didn't announce to you there were stocks from past years, you wouldn't have known, so why feeling cheated? Afterall, you weren't also selling at the prices you used to. It doesn't work as you perceived it in business. You are even lucky he has been giving out his stocks to you on a pay-later terms which is an easy way of passively making income (zero effort and risk at your end as you only remit to him whenever you make sales, he has been the one bearing the risk in all sense).

Should you chose not to pay him for the old stocks with you, with the excuses he wasn't aware or must have forgotten, you would succeed in taking advantage of his good gesture. Unless, your conscience is dead already, I don't see you getting comfortable with it ever after, especially when you still get to deal with the said man. It's his sweat, don't reap it.

Once again, if you are not okay with his price, change distributor, with that you get to juxtapose and realise the advantage you have, dealing with him.

ogub:
I asked this question cause I 've seen some people who were once standing for the right things and speaking against evil by trying to defend those who are oppressed in the society, but after some time you see them doing those things they once condemned, is it that they don't have integrity or their conscience have been bought?

CHANGE is the only constant thing in life, so they say.

In same life, CIRCUMSTANCES just have a way of shaping what we do or how we act. It has a huge influence on our actions and inactions.

Take a look at the Nation we are in, what the present party in government condemned and crusified the past administration for, are now what they do in double fold. A present and relatable case study is the ongoing ASUU STRIKE. Who would have thought same set of people who even asked the past President to resign over same issue and other areas affecting the country, would also victimize the populace with same, now in double fold, should they get there, but unfortunately, it is what it is. It isn't that they wish or wanted it to be so, but CIRCUMSTANCES just had them caught in situations they once condemned.

The fact remain that, we aren't in control of life occurrence, all we can do is just play along while we try our best to maintain our integrity and hope life doesn't put it to TEST, should it's been put to test, it's gonna take God's grace and discipline to still have it intact.

@Op, na wa 4 u o.

If ur narration is the truth and u never minced word, then, chances of u been set-up is on the high side.

Point to note: You guys have been friends for quiet some time, but she never suggested u guys meet or so not until recent. On a normal level, guys are the one that normally find ways of meeting someone who is distance apart by using cunning approach. Women on the other hand has a way of trying to protect their dignity or not want to appear cheap, hence, they wouldn't suggest a meet-up directly (you weren't dating afterall), instead, they would want to manipulate one into bringing up the idea of them coming over, but from ur narration, she was the one who brought up the idea of coming to meet u, using movie as an excuse, biko, that's a sign she probably had it all planned out. Another thing to note was her idea of also joining u to apologize after the do, imagine, someone who claimed ur use of condom was causing her pain, hence, wanting u to go raw, u need no soothsayer to tell u she got something up her sleeve. Also, her idea of buying time before dropping the bombshell, reek of calculative move. She probably knew what she was doing all along. A lady u had carnal knowledge of wouldn't just let u be, but would try manipulate u to think she was a saint and put blame of what happened to u. Her mentioned of u being the only guy she had sex with for that month in her mum's presence is also a testament that u aren't d only one doing the do with her which raise the chances of u not being responsible.

Blaming u now won't change a thing cos no need crying over spilt milk, but u betrayed ur wife-to-be, and ur confusing and depressing state is part of what u'd pay for ur wrong.

Just follow d advice up there in getting to know d authenticity of u being the true ownership of the pregnancy, and while doing so, wouldn't be a party to getting ur wife-to-be inform yet about it, else, ur marriage might be coming to an end even before it begin, regardless of whether or not u guys carry-on with it after d revelation. U will live to regret ever telling her (wife to be) at d moment. Wait until all evidence has been pointed to u that u are the rightful owner, cos chances are, u might not be, but getting her (wife to be) inform already might be an act u would forever wish u never took.

H0711:


Please read my last paragraph like I said earlier my post is not about changing my mind or stayimg because I will stick to my decision. but I just wanna know what other people would do in my situation. You know on social media we advise people on things that we cannot even take a quarter of. Even myself if i wasn't in this situation I would have advised the person to stay and look after the child because I am not the one wearing the shoe but I wear the shoe and it is not easy

I quite agree with you on this. It's easier to give advise to people, same one one would find difficult to follow should one find oneself in similar situation. Such is life. Whatever choice you make, it's yours cos at the end, it's same you that would face whatever that comes with it. You are the one wearing the shoe, so you best understand how and where it hurt you. Wish you all the very best.

Tobijays:
tell your family that one back to op you better leave ooo. Ther was a case I witnessed, a man hid his epileptic condition to his newly wed wife. the wife knew after 3 months of marriage the family gathered and gave this kind of advice this person is giving you better wise up ooo

I only gave my submission, not pushing it down the Op throat to follow. It's left for her to find it worthy or not, and whatever decision she choose to make at the end is her choice.

It's normal should we have a contrary opinion to others, and opinion could be counter in a diplomatic way, not until we condemn other people's submission before we could make ours. No need involving my family in a sin I supposely commited based on your conviction.

All the same, thanks. Stay bless.

It's obvious you've made up your mind already, and no amount of words could have you change your mind unless you choose to. Moreover, you are right to feel the way you are feeling right now. In fact, you are justify to feel that way. We are all human, blood runs in our vein. What your husband did by not getting you inform from the get go is a totally wrong. He wasn't been fair with his dealing with you from start. But trust me, he did what he did i.e. hiding such sensitive matter from you cos he was afraid to lose you. He felt for the one who birth the child in question to not want to take up responsibility of raising him/her, how would someone who wasn't a part of it accept to? I understand and could resonate with his (your husband) fear, but he was being insensitive about how he deals with it. He forget that no matter how far lie goes, truth would one day caught up with it. Maybe he doesn't want to get you involve with the child all along, hence, his reason for keeping it away from you, not knowing there is no escape route to such reality.

The child in question is just the victim here. He/she didn't ask to be birth, atleast not into a family that would abandon him/her, but life do happen.

How you get to be in such marriage before finding out about such revelation is a destiny you just have to accept.

From one of your response, you claim should it's your child (I forbid it for you) that is the way the one in question is, you will treat him/her accordingly. It won't be easy and it's already evidence it has not been, but you can always treat that child as your own.

The main issue I see here is financial incapability. Had it been your husband is well to do, the situation would have been rosily handle, but the case is different.

Do what you wanna do, but give it a second thought. Divorce isn't the way forward.

E be tinz o.

That's why it's always good to set boundary and never give over familiarity chance. It was due to the over familiarity act that gave the woman to seek financial aid from you, and she must have observed you to be a nice, down to earth individual with a decent source of income. They were only trying to take advantage of your good nature cos why would a responsible man, despite his wife seeking help from an outsider, also choose to follow suit with same individual. Indeed, you dodged a bullet

Congratulation Sir.

How much kon be new one if u slam 35k ontop used one?
Maybe u should checkout d present price, u might want 2 reconsider ur offer.

Have u made attempt to printout ur statement of Account from d bank (Wema), if NO, then u should start from there. Request for it and try trace d date of d transaction, that gonna give u lead on whether or not d transaction was initiated.

OfficialDad:
Lol. Look at this one using scope to market himself and pretending like he is not the one replying and quoting himself.

I initially wanted 2 ignore u cos it's apparent an average NLer share same thought as you, but 4 the sake of those that might be coming across this thread later on.

You may wanna check my profile 2 see how long this account has been here, then check out @wiremind own too 2 see whether there is any similarity.

I don't even know him in person, but counted on others reviews about his product and how straightforward he has been with his dealings, I was convinced and had 2 give it a shot, and the way and manners at which he deal with me earned him d encomium.

For d record, I option 4 d 80,000ahm, 60k package 4rm him which I'm glad abt such investment. I don't even need 2 convince u or any other abt his product, but I certainly know his good work and services will always speak 4 him.

Once again, he is ur best plug when it comes 2 reliable laptop powerbank.

Instead of being lazy, why not just do ur due diligence abt him. He is also on jiji, go there and check d good reviews others has 4 him. At d end, it gonna be ur personal conviction 2 be convince, nd not me convincing u.

Would have even option 2 share u screenshot of our chat on d deal, but NO, u are a NLer, that also might not get u convinced as u could come up with notion that, it's Photoshopped, so I had 2 save myself d stress and not try get u convince. The ball is in ur court afterall.

Very funny of u, I don't even av a track record of selling something relating 2 d subject matter here on NL, I'm just a satisfied customer who can vouch 4 d seller based on my dealing with him. Thank you.

WIREMIND:
I once had that kind of issue when I was in school, because someone like who me loves tech and Electronics, I do a lot with my PC from surfing to prototyping and designing (learning). I want my PC to be Available anytime I needed it. I couldn't afford to buy a gasoline power generating set then.
Well, all that were solved when I made a laptop powerbank for myself from scraps, and later got a solar panel with it, I really enjoyed the solution. Since 2015 I have never had power issues, most especially for my mobile devices. Someone had asked me to make a laptop powerbank for him, and I did, this birthed my solution: dedicated Laptop powerbank.

Laptop powerbanks have been around for almost a decade, but here in Nigeria you can only find few of them, probably because of importation issues or something else , and they are not cheap.

I have Laptop powerbank of various spec, to run your laptop between 7hrs to 20hrs, it's a very simple to use backup, just like phone powerbank. Also very mobile.

My thread here: https://www.nairaland.com/6808693/super-laptop-powerbank-extended-runtime#107631633

� Legit.

PlaysNigeria:

That's exactly my plight, I don't think it's durable.
Which reliable laptop powerbank brands do you know tho?

Bro, WIREMIND Laptop POWERBANK is your best bet. You won't regret it as it gonna solve your power issue for good. I'm a testifier myself. Get the 80,000Ahms precisely, and forget about power issue as far as your laptop usage is concern.

[quote author=inspector1 post=112301403][/quote]
Submission of offer letter has nothing with been credited, just that some of us are yet to be (credited), though can't say the cause of the delay. We can only keep hoping they credit us as well.

Chai! Yes, you might be right, his black race could be a part of all these punishment cos a white man couldn't have gotten half of these, that's even if he would be punish in the first place after tendering public apology.

I feel so sad for Will Smith, what a tragedic way to end a promising career? The most crazy hard pill is him going through all these phase for someone who doesn't deserve it. Why cross occean for someone who wouldn't cross gutter for you?

sonofthunder:


Please if you have the working app, can you kindly share the apk file with me via WhatsApp or mail probably? I don't even need to touch any money immediately.

I need to upload documents and all so my account can be activated. There's no branch in my city and its a little difficult to make out time to travel on weekdays

The App wouldn't work should they share it to you via WhatsApp, you would just keep seeing the error message, 'App not successful install'. It's an effort in futility.

As per where you are, you might want to ask around whether they have branch around there cos I thought same too i.e. I thought they don't have branch at where I am situated since it wasn't listed among the ones on the email message sent, until I came in touch with another beneficiary here who did told me their branch is here too and gave me description, I went there and saw it, that was how I got to do my own documentation.

Emmyreal4:
Login into your account and check funds credited

My own neva enta o.

What info are u using to login to the App?

Have anyone been credited here?

They've commence the disbursement already. Though yet to receive mine, but met someone at their Branch here who came for upgrade when I went to do mine, the man has been credited, but was not able to withdraw it, hence, the reason he rush down to come do proper documentation and upgrade.

Mind you, he's even yet to submit his offer letter which tells so far one have gotten is a/c number active, one should be expectant of alert any moment.