Lessons123:
I do not want to think divorce or cheat on her as I have strong moral values against cheating.

Be a man,stop at nothing in asserting your authority, be ready to be "a wicked man" ,turn her to a full time house wife and thank me later.

Charmingrascal:
Kano is the capital of drug abuse Nigeria

Is Kano in Southern Nigeria?,

Vabama:
So am one of those Guys that preach against domestic Violence ....

I Got married of Recent and Guess what , we dated for 3 Years before marriage.

After putting a ring on her finger ... her behavior change ...

From Bad to Worse ...

Like this girl will wake up at Night , and Give me a dirty slap .... If You Ask her what's the problem , she will look at you and work away.

She will wake up by 2am and start playing music , if you ask her wetin .... She will ask me 'CAN'T I PLAY MUSIC BECAUSE I MARRY YOU'

If You mention divorce .... she go vow say if you try am , You Go die !!!

Okay i sat her down and ask her what is the matter.

Below is what she told me !!!



So am asking , is it that she wants me to beat her or what
Should i run away from Home
Marriage no dey easy at all.

Early sign of madness bro,rush her to psychiatric hospital ASAP.

thesicilian:




The children themselves are adults over 30yrs and they consented to the marriage, but the father is standing in the way of their happiness. What would you have done if you were the judge?

The story is not complete, what are the reason(s) of the father?, why is the lady crying?

rayvelez:
It’s better u negotiate with them cos the major life matter. Incompetence NDA, how can these ragtag bandits (terrorists) infiltrate and captured a whole Major ranking officer in NDA building.

That's the height of compromise, they're also ill equipped, they're more consigned about having billions of dollars starched in foreign account and buildings all over the world than buying equipment.
Drones with night vision can do the magic.

blinking001:
Governor Otom is a proven failure, he has no right to point accusing fingers at anyone, he's a true definition of a retarded vagabond.
Benue state is now a shadow of itself thanks to Governor otom, the terrible roads, bad living condition, poor water supply, etc is a testament to the fact Otom is a bad administrator. His likes are suppose to be arrested and hanged.

And your Buhari will be celebrated?.

Unseen:
Rain never meet them

You will not understand the resilience of the Northern Christians if you haven't been there,not all these business centers we have down South.

yanabasee1:
Since it's Mosque, he won't be arrested..... if it was Dunamis church now.... DSS would've been there to show off...

They were first arrested by the church security who detained them and handed them over to the SSS,we are our own problem.

Chigold101:

I think you need more than drug rehabilitation.
Many things are wrong in your life and around you (won't totally blame you for them.)

Like you need both change of environment and change of your choice of friends.
You don't need carefree people around you at all. You also need a new spiritual connection and the best spiritual connection I know through my experiences is the spiritual connection to Jesus Christ.
Please note I am not talking of being religious or going church.

So you need a whole lots of reorientation.

"Change of environment and friends" is key.

November24:


Keep being foolish.
You are just a fool for speaking ill about God when all you need is Him.


Foolish girl

Why are you fighting for God?,is he that powerless that he can't fight for himself?.

LadyRosa:
Lol...
As I stubborn reach na so so quiet men dey date me. So I've had great experience from past relationships and currently another quiet one dey my side. What I noticed with them


They are highly intelligent, don't talk much, don't mingle much, social function almost zero.
Them sabi cook oooo! Few clothes, expensive or not, they are well arranged,ironed.No scatter scatter. So once I'm looking for something they help me look for it because I go scatter their wardrobe and leave it like that! No time!

They are calculated and secretive. Don't gossip at all. Going into their house and coming out seems like sneeking around, so people don't know if they are in or out.

Don't like loud music.Those who go to club rarely dance, them go dey laugh who dey dance . When they decide to party, the subsequent days makes them really dull and want to 'rest'. Even during outings after few laughs and a drink with plenty water, next na to pick their car keys or flag down a taxi , time to go

Don't wear loud bright dresses. Dull dresses are their Craze.

Observe rather than talk. When they talk everyone is silent.

No toasting, they were too shy to say their mind. They will look and make few remarks, then look again. Relationship usually start from me taking the lead by keeping them talking with questions. "Do you like me?" that's enough to make them blush with relief and acceptance.

Spend thrifts. Show offs is foolishness to them.Not really into social media, few pics, most times like to be anonymous. Also, they can be nasty in secret.

Gadget lovers. Will spend money on the latest Playstation.Dont mind playing against computer for hours.
Simplicity. Eating out is not their need, so if they must, mostly snacks rather than cooked food. Neat freeks!
Forgives easily but with serious warning.
Don't like the silent treatment during quarrel. They will appear calm at first but, Na lie . Just pretend you no longer find them attractive or appealing and all hell breaks loose.
Not too romantic but very supportive and reasonable. Calm in the face of overwhelming trouble. Why others are panicky, they keep clear head, and think of solving issues diplomatically.
The ones who cheats do it well. You may never notice because they will never pick the other woman's frantic calls, if them too disturb they block them temporarily till further _drilling notice.Them no just like wahala from nags.
Have soft spot for women and can easily be manipulated to give out cash to them even without sleeping with them. Even an ex will continue to reap them off Even if they are no longer interested.
Don't get angry easily, but when they get you'd be sorry. Really really sorry and disappointed in yourself. They will lay all your 4ck ups and corner your defense on every angle

But them still dey talk o, but na inside house. Abuse them and meet a brick wall, no reaction. As my mouth sharp reach, I don't use bad words on them like I do on the street,They hardly use insults to drive home their point once an argument be like say e won bring insult, they ignore and find their way out. There are people that their level of maturity controls what you say.

You nailed it

ignis:
He is still fat...

Fat at his age?,not a good thing, the man has suffered for what he believed,how many of his children were massacred?, they have seen that he might die in detention and decided to release him.
People are wicked, I remembered the day El-rufai visited him in 2014,the same El-rufia superintend his near killing.

Racoon:


https://www.thecable.ng/you-cant-succeed-outside-your-educational-qualification-says-buhari-at-global-summit

Talking from experience I guess,that is why he is falling because we are yet to know his educational qualification.

seanwilliam:
When are they going to release Nnamdi Kanu and Sunday Igboho??





Let me be your Girtcards, greendot and PayPal funds plug. Fast and reliable with juicy rate .

Can we talk more about PayPal fund?

You're welcome.

May God see every genuine Nigerian youths with legit huzzle through the hard times our wicked leaders put them through.

Stay focus and be creative and the sky is your limit.

One thing I have noticed during my trips across Africa is, besides business that you are asking for, services are on high demands everywhere and it's a gold mine.

What do I mean by services?

Skills.

What you can do with your hand. (Not buying and selling)

1. Barbing. Learn how to barb hairs it's always in demand. And all you need is a Clipper brushes and combs. When chips are down, that is what you can easily fall back on.

2.Weaving and plaiting (Nigerian guys do that a lot in South Africa and they make good money riding good cars)
Go and learn how to make ladies hair. Including attachment. Etc.

3. Civil Engineering. And every aspect of house building.
Plumbing
Painting
Electrical
Tiling
POP.
Welding
All these are in high demand but most of them are done by Senegalese, Cotonou guys. The only one I know they don't Ventura into is Aluminum windows and doors. So learn that. They build houses and hotels across AFRICA you won't lack jobs in that area.

4.
Art
You stand to make good money in Art anywhere especially where they have good tourism. With Art you can't be stranded.

5.
Buying and selling of what we have in Naija and is in demand where you are. This requires money. You gats to have good money.


Never travel out of Naija with the sole aim of using your certificate to work. Especially in Africa.
I am not saying your certificate is useless. No! Take your certificate along everywhere you go but learn skills.
Skills will bail you out when your certificate seems to be useless.

It's not easy typing all these. But I always have the passion to help people and I hate seeing youths take wrong steps in their struggle to make it in life.
So, don't mind the typographical errors.

Never Ever have the mind to go into crime. It's never a good venture. You will see guys wanting to lure you into it.

Never yield. All you need is God by your side, Your certificate in your file, a good Skill in your Hands and a Sharp brain in your skull.

All you stay blessed.

Good advice

crackhaus:
I think people ought to normalize using the phrase 'UNPLANNED pregnancy' instead of 'UNWANTED pregnancy'... Please and please!!!

@Priceless007, nothing about your story is unusual.

You met someone, you found her attractive, one thing led to another and sex happened. Pregnancy is just the expected natural consequence of having sex, especially when you don't observe standard safety protocols.
Next time, be more careful...

However, there are two things I would like to point out:

1. You must do right by that child, and this means providing whatever you can financially for the mother to have a comfortable delivery.
I don't want to bring up the issue of paternity because person wey never see money to buy pampers should not be told to use money to run DNA tests. But still, have it in mind and consider having this done somewhere down the line.

2. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT, marry into that family.
That she is about to be the mother of your child does not mean she must also be your wife... Na two different things oo. Take note!
First of all, she doesn't seem like someone who has plenty sense and secondly, her family doesn't seem like they have sense either – this one they're already harassing you at this point, is giving me all kinds of danger vibes.


With all that out of the way, I wish you a hearty congratulations. You're the latest baby daddy on NL.

Op follow this advice and you will be happy and live long.

Asquare84:


Best advice, once bride price is paid marriage has taking place

Remember the the would be in-law lacks understanding, which responsible parents that wants marriage at all cost for the daughter?,.

Priceless007:
Hello Nairalanders,

It's a long story, but I'll try to keep it short and to the vital points. Please endure the length.

There's a girl i met at a theological college in where I was studying to become a clergyman and also learning a skill under the civil engineering department of the college. She was my junior in the course, as I was a year away from graduating from my first course, while she was just a fresher. She was always having issues getting through her courses and projects and would always ask for my assistance since I was the course rep in that department. It was forbidden to have any intimate relationship with your course mate or anyone in the college for that matter, the penalty would be expulsion. But unfortunately for me, out of sheer lust and seduction on her part, and gross indiscipline and lack of self control on my part, I got intimate with her and we ended up committing fornication during one of our semester vacations. And it just happened once, of which out of deep regret and remorse I confessed the matter to the college Admin when the next semester resumed. We were panelled, after which I was suspended, while she was expelled.

During this time I was learning a skill sponsored by the college, of which I use to get paid some weekly stipend. After I was suspended I was also stopped from continuing my apprenticeship, because I was not to associate with any of the students or lecturers in the school while my suspension lasted. So I was without a job and without a source of income since I wasn't yet mastered on the skill. The condition that was given to me to resume my studies and apprenticeship was that I should go and get married before I could come back to college, so as not to be tempted to repeat my error. But I wasn't ready for marriage whether financially or any other wise for that matter. So while I was contemplating my next move, this girl came to me that she was pregnant, that she needed us to go and see her parents. I told her I had no money neither was I ready to father a child at this point in my life. I pleaded she should give me time to think about what next to do. Two weeks passed, and I called her to enquire about her welfare but her number wasn't reachable, I decided to go to her place, but I was told she had travelled a week ago to go see her family. A week later, I received a call from a woman telling me she was the girl's mother, that her daughter came home with a pregnancy, and she asked me if I was responsible for the pregnancy, I answered her in the affirmative. She then asked when I was coming to see her family. I told her I wasn't sure about coming to see them that I needed to speak to the girl first. She said okay, then later that day the girl called me, and I told her to come back for us to talk deliberate on the way forward. When she came she told me her parents (who are by the way divorced) will not accept her nor the pregnancy without me coming to see them for marriage arrangements.

I explained to her I wasn't ready for any such thing, that I have a calling to answer and a course to finish, that what happened between us was just a stupid and careless mistake that has been as a setback for me to achieve my goal, and that I was ready to overcome the trials and get back on track, and I explained to her that before then I had neither dated nor been intimate with anyone for over seven years, and so any kind of relationship or marriage was not even in my nearest future plans, and besides, I didn't even have a job, not to mention having enough money to embark on a marriage plan. She said she would never accept such excuse, that I should look for whatever means to make sure I come see her parents before her pregnancy becomes obvious. She also said that she needed money to move her belongings back to Imo state where her family resides. I agreed to raise some money for her. I went to do some menial jobs and raised some money, about ₦20k, which I gave to her and she traveled back to Owerri. From then on her parents kept calling and pressuring me to come and see them for marriage arrangements. I told them I was going to come, but just to introduce myself to them as the person responsible for their daughter's pregnancy not for any marriage arrangements. But they disagreed, that if I wasn't ready to come for marriage that I shouldn't bother coming. I pleaded with them to give me enough time to look for money to come and see them, but they instead started threatening me with court cases and arrests, at one time they brought the girl and some soldiers to my family house and harassed my family members including my mother.

So I later traveled to Benin city to go look for money. After one week of my arrival in Benin, I lost my phone and I couldn't retrieve my number. I lost connection with them until I got back to Uyo where I got her phone number from a friend of hers. At this time, I was told that they came to my house several times with police officers claiming I raped their daughter and impregnated her then absconded. At this, I established contact with the girl again and she told me that I should not bother her that she wasn't in the mood to talk to me, I kept calling her but she often ended up abusing me or we often times ended up in quarrels, so I left her alone for sometime.

Two weeks ago I related the matter to one of my distant uncles, who advised me to gather some money and go see her, I called her and told her I wanted to come and see her before she puts to bed, which is expected to be sometime next month (August). But she told me that she still stands by what her parents had said, if it's not for the marriage issue that I should not come, that I should rather send her the money I would use in coming so she can use it to buy the baby clothing and buy some hospital requirements before she puts to bed. I called her parents and they told me the same thing, and said if I don't come for the marriage agreement before she puts to bed, that after she's delivered of the baby I should forget ever coming, and should never mention that I have a child anywhere not to mention coming to claim it ever in the future. And that I should just forget about her and the child.

The issue now is this, I am a bit frustrated because I seem to have lost everything at the moment because of this issue; my calling, the skill I was learning is gone, I have no job aside the menial jobs I do at construction sites which isn't available regularly. Now the little I have saved so far, I am contemplating on whether to use the money to pay for my skills training and continue with it and start my life afresh and forget about her, the child, and her parents, or use the money to support her in her hospital requirements for her delivery. Because I don't want to be seen as abandoning her when she is in this condition, and I also don't want to give up on the child, though I'm not capable of taking care of the girl and the baby right now, and probably, I might end up getting married but not under my present circumstances. I know I've made a grave mistake and this is the consequences for not being true to myself and my calling, and I deeply regret it, and I've suffered for it in any way I can possibly imagine, but I also need to put my life back in order, because right now I'm so devastated that I'm contemplating terrible alternatives to survive the storm, I'm at a very critical moment of my life and I just feel like giving up on life altogether. Please I need your help and advice on this issue. Thanks.

PS. Please if anyone is willing to teach me any skill, I would be very grateful and willing to learn.

I see no problem here,you're just giving yourself unnecessary stress, do not,I repeat, do not marry out of pity and do not marry because you got her pregnant, there are more to marriage than pity and all that.You commits no crime known to law by having a consensual sexual intercourse with your fellow adult(forget the threat of rape,it is very difficult to prove,he who asserts must prove).
Get yourself established first,you will be making a grave mistake by marrying that girl because she is badly brought-up,her parents are bad influence and they will pressure you to your early grave.
You might not even be the owner of the pregnancy self.
Chill my guy you have no issue, focus now on how to establish yourself first, if they ask for support and you have,you can give them but don't marry because of pressure.

Reggaemich:
I Wish I can see a picture of when this

MAMACITA was younger

Eyes dey pain you,you no see am up?

Veqtor:
If true, then it's a big win.

Electronic transmission of electoral results will help curb this incessant rigging.
But I don't understand the "where applicable" talk, unless they are integrating it partially.

National Assembly and NCC will determine where electronic transmission will be applicable. That is the Bill that was passed.

FreeStuffsNG:
Yes sir, especially unpatriotic citizens and foreigners of security interest and national security threat.
We can't continue to have just few among us terrorising the nation with sedition, hate speech, scam , cyberbullying, defrauding, identity theft and kidnapping the rest of the law abiding, innocent and patriotic Nigerians and allow the security architecture to keep reacting instead of nipping them into the bud.

It is these few individuals and those they recruit into their nefarious activities that will particularly be of interest so the security services are always ahead of them even before they unleash .

It's not new and you know sir

"Wonderful epistle" but at the end there are some section that are tagged "unpatriotic",the last time I checked, Meyieti Allah are still claiming responsible of an attack and non have been arrested or invited for questioning.

eurogee:
Even a poor Igbo man would have been brought back home for internment. Even in their own country, Igbos aren't buried outside their hometown. This Youruba people no get respect. Damn!

What is the economic importance of a dead man?,all you did for a dead man is a beautiful nonsense.

mariodko190:
This question has been ringing in my head, the fact that she doesn't have a good record in the Bible, what other reasons people are afraid

You can start it na

Chibueze775:
Am the Op. I've gotten the information I needed. Am an Igbo we don't fear challenges, I will go to Gambia and settle well. I've gone to trade fair Lagos to see goods been waybilled to Gambia, I was shocked even 9ja beers like gulder, trophy, hero etc are in trailer of goods going to gambia. I've gotten the number of the waybill personal and a driver. I know what am doing my people, a times it's good to make a move

I love the courage, I have done that (getting the contact of the waybill company) some months ago,just waiting for a little thing before heading to Cotonou.

feelgoodstuffs:


Bros forget google we use black market rate

OK

feelgoodstuffs:


Yes oo, 1 dalasis = 10 naira

Ah!, bros e no reach na,Google na our friend oooo

Chibueze775:
I don't need people telling me to stay back , I've been in Lagos since 2010, no one will teach me Nigeria or Lagos, 9ja no safe . am on my way to gambia, after all research I found out that Nigerians are doing great over there

When are you leaving bro,it's on may mind since January.
Can we talk privately?

SmartyPants:


20k for what papers? Haba.

Business registration is 20 usd. That's it... All other fees are after you have started the business.

OK

SmartyPants:


At the start the most you will pay is 20 dollars. Tax is paid to GRA so they are not separate. Tax is 3% of annual turnover.

Thanks

dipsy588:
With a little advice. have lived in Gambia till 2015,Gambia is cool as long as you dont talk anyhow cos they have spies when yaya jammeh was the president. in terms of business very good. We have tons of naija guys in serekunda. I lived in Lamin and one other area which I cant remember. get a shop close to naija but make sure your stay is always up to date cos immigrations raid like anyhow. but when it comes to money my brother you would make money in any skillful way as long as it's not illegal cos spies plenty. Considering your business. what do you want go into? na question be that. I would advice you go there first and look for a teaching job which h is the easiest to get and from there start scanning to know what you can venture into because if you just go and start anything my brother you go hear am.

Based on what I gathered online, I think I will be going for serekunda area,I already have a line of business here that I want to start there(phone accessories) do you have an idea of what the shop and house rent looks like?_planning going there by January.
Thank you.

Unik3030:
I don't have that kinda mentality of Nigeria not being safe,can we say USA isn't safe too cos guns are everywhere too?

No matter how hard Nigeria is,it's still preferable to where u know virtually nothing about.i am not saying Nigeria is the best country to stay but do u know the policy as regards foreigners opening business there?

Do u know how the locals in the business treat foreigners?

Do u even know the best location,state to site your business?

With that capital,what gives him the assurance that he will do something better than those that have been on ground?

What u people don't understand about business is that once u get to a particular place u are snatching customers from people that have been there so u have to present something better than what they have to offer?

Has he even check the value of their money to ours?

See so many questions,I am not discouraging him but he should look b4 he leaps b4 jumping from frying pan to fire

I disagree with your last paragraph, you're discouraging him,people travel to Europe, Asia etc without knowing anyone or having plenty money, at the end,it ends in praise.
Their currency is stronger than ours.

seunny4lif:
You know you need to setup your papers in order before you open a store in Gambia as a foreign.

What are the requirements for setting up a shop there as a foreigner please?.