₦airaland Forum

Comedian of the year 2019

U really deserve a medal for this joke

MeeztaSoft:
I moved into this nice apartment a year ago while the business I was doing was booming. Things were moving very fine and I am single because I have not had time for ladies for years now.

The landlord and his family have their own separate building inside the same compound and the landlord is someone who works with an offshore company so he is usually away for quite a while.

The kids are in secondary school so most times the landlords wife is usually alone and runs a mini supermarket in front of the compound. Being that my business has really gone very slow and money isnt flowing like before, I hardly go out and just try to do some online freelance jobs while am still hoping on starting another business. Because of this the landlords wife have been really pressuring me for sex and I keep finding excuses to avoid it. My rent is due very soon and she knows am sort of broke because I owe some credit in her shop and she has secretly started telling me that she will make sure I am removed from the house if I don't agree to her request.

This is very sad because I love the house and the husband is a very nice man. Their kids are also very fund of me like I am their elder brother. Even if I have to move out I don't even have the money right now and the problem is that it was the lady who gave me the house being that her husband wasn't around then and he comes from time to time.

I am so very confused that I had to come here to see if I could get any good advice from good people here.

If u must Bleep her use a hotel at least 30km away from your location.

Pls DNT Bleep her na person wife bc if u r caught mob will burn u n DT woman will shout rape on u

REDDEVILS1:
The car drinks fuel more than most V8 cars. Once owned one.

Is the fuel consumption really DT bad, every owner I have interviewed has this as it's major drawback.

I am interested in pilot but scared since I don't own a filling station for such fuel guzzler

Toyota was manufactured with Nigeria in mind

Honda was made for developed countries with experts mechanics n wonderful roads
Exam result
Toyota 100% A1

Honda 30%F9

First things first a man should make money it's a must otherwise even your wife will soon reject you.

Most men or boys pursuing women are jobless and broke that is why they have that time in the first place.

A man is a provider and that is the way God made it, most women will accept u based on your financial capability even when they are rich ask Linda ikeji and Genevieve why they are still single simple they want men richer than them n they can't find any.

Finally shoe get size, u can't be earning 80k a month and pursuing a girls whose hair alone is worth 300k or whose salary is over 500k she will never accept u bc u no reach her level.

Enough said just go and hustle n leave women alone bc they will destroy u.

Gini it's well they need to give other citizens a sense of belonging

Jeez how can I unsee this disgusting thing

Don't waste your money

Get yourself a Toyota n have rest of mind either Camry or Corolla.

But if u insist then u are free to learn from your experience

@ misterkings

Logobenz2:
Woman insult your family in your presence you no jam am till she collapse
Bros you dey fall hand o
Please no one should advise this kind of weak man.spits!
Who wouldn't know what to do at this point?some people dey born sha
Just look at someone's son.e be like na pap den use raise you.
Your mom comes to your own house and your wife not only mistreated her but tried to insult her in your presence?you know why?she knows you are a weak man.
That was your golden opportunity to teach her a bitter lesson that will be justified anywhere in Nigeria.
I wonder what she will do to you if you take her to the US.
Better cancel all plans of that visa,withdraw the application,divorce that woman whether the child is yours or Not,do not care!just be sending upkeep money for the child and get yourself another woman.
Jesus Christ!

Spot on

I DNT know how any woman can insult my mother in my house in my presence without getting a dirty slap.

quote author=Anonymus010 post=80826161]I Need The Advice Of Experienced Married Men

NB: This is not my real account, I created this account for the purpose of this issue.

Please, I need the advice of married people (especially married men). I will make the story as simple as possible and I promise not to compromise the truth to favour me in this issue.

Brief Introduction: I am a man in my late 20's. Got married last year and currently have a 3month baby.

Brief history of my relationship prior to marriage: I dated my wife for 4years before we finally tied the knot last year. I met her in the university, we were classmate in school.

Before I started dating my wife, I was dating a girl in the same class but we both agreed to separate after 1year because we were age mate and she was keen on getting married immediately after graduation which I knew I will not be ready for marriage by then (Note: No sex in the relationship, She was a virgin and because I couldn't assure her of marriage, I didn't sex her).

After the break up with my ex, I became close to my wife and we started dating. She was self sufficient as she had a source of income while in school, she supports me, gives me money, cooks and buy me food etc. She was the best woman any man can think of. I fell in love along the line and decided this is the right lady to marry.

Note: There were several backlashes from other classmates insinuating she snatched me from my ex but we scaled through all that. We dated for 2more years in school and we graduated. We dated for another 2more years post school till last year.

Brief history immediately before marriage: Everything was fine till my wife's birthday last year. I did tripple shifts at work(48hrs work non-stop) and came back a night before her birthday and slept off. I woke up 2:30am to wish her happy birthday. She got angry and told me I didnt put her in mind and that I was not the first person to wish her happy birthday (She later told me her ex wished her first at exactly 12am). I apologised to her and told her the reason I missed the time. I had just 10k, gave her 5k to do a birthday photoshoot, used about 3k to buy her goodies as salary has not been paid.

Fast forward to after 1week of the birthday, she came up with serious issue, saying she wanted a break but not total break-up for some months to put herself together. She lamented she was not getting anything from the relationship, I don't usually take her out, I didnt celebrate her birthday well for her, I didnt buy cake, I didnt buy gift etc. I apologised and pleaded with her to be patient as we had big projects before us (wedding, masters degree and family apartment) which she knew I was saving for. We settled it and had sex. After 7days, I saw a call log on her phone where she had a conversation with her ex for almost an hour between 11pm and 12am. After 1month, she missed her menses and was pregnant. I asked her if she ever saw her ex, she cried and swore that she didn't (Note: I trusted her because she is modest and she is not the sex type). So, I agreed, accepted the preg, quickly arranged an impromptu wedding, I quickly sourced for money, spent over N2million on the wedding......

THE PROBLEM:

2weeks after the weeding, my wife started abusing my family especially my mum, telling me she hated how my family behaved during the wedding. I pleaded with her not to allow this to affect our home. The insults and abuse became perpetual. My wife works from home and will give me several reasons why she cannot cook after giving her money for food stuffs once I collect salary. Its just 2 of us living in a mini flat & I wash my clothes myself, but she will give me thousands of reasons how the non-existent house shores prevent her from cooking.

After 9months, she gave birth, I asked her who she wanted to come do omugo with the baby between her mum and my mum. She opted for my mum (claimed her mum will be giving her problem). Not up to 1week that my mum came over, she has started complaining about everything she does. Despite the fact that this woman will wake up 5am, wash everybody's clothes, bath the baby but she doesnt cook. My wife started complaining about her being obligated to cook every morning because of my mum's presence(Note: she doesnt cook in the morning, if I am going to work by 8am, I will either warm a left over previous night's food or source for food outside). When the complain was becoming overwhelming to the point of her almost insulting my mum in my presence, I told her I will tell my mum to go back to her house( my mum lives in a mini flat too with my dad, so they are very comfortable). She said I shouldn't. After 1 month, my mum left. The abuse, insults and complain continued. She will nag about how my mum did when she was with us, abuse and insults my family. I will appeal to her and defend my family. My wife became complete opposite of who she was when we were dating.

The real issue at hand: We would be migrating to the US soon. Lately, I can't control my wife, anytime I don't buy her idea or wish, she will rain insults on me. Just 3days ago, she told me I don't have sense repeatedly just because she said we should go and greet her mum's pastor which I told her not now but we can go later. If I tell her to do something, she will do otherwise and give me thousand of reasons she can't do it. 2months ago, I reported all her attitudes to her mum, her mum talked to her but no change, she is getting worse. Last week, I did 24hours at work, I got home, my wife didn't cook. I got into the kitchen, made custard and placed the soup on the gas cooker. We were both in the living room. She perceived the soup was getting burnt and insulted me, telling me it was because I was not the one that dropped money for the soup, thats why I wanted to burn it (She cooked the soup with her money because my salary was delayed). She insults me at will, gives me no respect and treat me as trash.(Note: I had never cheated on her and she doesn't doubt my fidelity. Likewise, I had never suspected her of such too).

I am currently scared because I know US is women's world because I have included her and the kid as my dependents in my green card petition. I am scared for my life and career because she could go worse in the US and destroy all I have laboured for.

Please kindly advise me on what I can do to change her.

Sorry for the long write up and any grammatical errors.[/quote]Without money no marriage will stand

Having said this you need to be a man and quit being a sissy, women hate a man that is soft and petting them always.

U need to show some balls, peace sometimes comes after war. Cold war and discipline is part of bonding in marriage. Say sth n stick to it via your actions otherwise she will be slapping you soonest.

jenifer007:
Then don't waste your time to get married.Marriage is not for babies like you.

An idiot like u should learn to respect the opinion of others. Now get lost already. It's my choice I love my mum more than any wife n it will never change.

I can marry 10 wives but will only have one mother guess ur decaying brain cell may never understand.

My sweet mum is a no go area, she is the only person I can gladly die for in this world.

I can't love any woman more than my mum

I hope my wife doesn't hear this lol it's the truth.

No one can love me more than my mum, unconditional love personified. If not for children do we even need to marry

Flakky26:
My family is looking for a daily and weekly income. We are looking at getting a cab ,hire a driver for weekly delivery or higher purchase.

What do you guys think? Whats the benefits of getting a 2nd hand car or Belgium ? Daily delivery or higher purchase? Which is better?

Need you guys input and advise.

It's only lucrative if u are going to be the driver whether daily pay or hp or may be u have a park n sell ticket like peace mass transit, DNT say u were not warned. You will shout and shout until u are about to choke n when u are tired u will sell the vehicle at ridiculous price

Talking from experience

If u insist make sure u have a friend DT is a police or Army man they can come in handy when driver kasala starts.

Rip

1.2 million lol

Op u gree 2m

For your mind na Highlander u wan sell

700k serious buyer

eRex:
I might agree too.

I drove a 2016 Landcruiser Prado 4plug engine in convoy of Hilux (all Auto gear)

If you see the way these Hilux were dusting me from 0-60mph.
I only catch up after a lot of struggle (cos it more balanced than the Hilux and more stable)

And funnily it consumed more fuel than the hilux.

Exactly it will consume more fuel due to load n engine will not last due to stress, imagine carrying 7 ppl plus some load then with AC on lol d thing will barely be able to move thereby consuming excess fuel.

This will be Dawn sluggish

All these massive weight to be pushed by 4 cylinder

This needs minimum of 3.5l v6 to be fun to drive

Is that why he is shirtless too

Let her work and earn some money too n build her self esteem too. I see housewives as lazy women no matter how hard they work at home.

The excuses u gave are quite flimsy, there must be ways to handle the challenges her work will bring.

She may resign on her own after 6 months due to stress so no need to force anything, experience is the best teacher.

More akamu to your balls

Spot on

Ashawoo mama but caring

Is it only thro fuking DT she can make money

Sicilyjoe:
20k cash

35k last

Your English na die

Still available

See bumpers add more pictures engine, interior etc

Over priced

U gree 850k cash ready

U need to give your life to Jesus Christ

Vanity upon vanity