₦airaland Forum

sistawoman:
I am wondering if we are talking about marriage or just two people living together.

I say that because if after marriage you are worried about his decison making skills, his ablity to run the house, his money management skills, etc then that is the wrong time to be thinking about that.

You should be thinking about and access these skill long before u were even engaged to this man.  If you did not lay the proper foundation before you got married what makes you think it is going to work or get better after you say I DO.

DeepZone:
From your experience here, does Hannibal and Eldee sound like men that will heed your advise? talk true?

DeepZone:
Some take your views into consideration but their ego will not let them. Because of that ego factor, they'll keep landing the family into serious financial mess. Won't you stand up and take the mantle off him leaving him with about 20? This mostly happens between couples that are not equally yoked.

DeepZone:
Demanding 50 leaves him with only 50 and that is a recipe for disaster. My philosophy is " 50-50 is hogwash and should be scrapped and whomever the cap fits, let him/her take it and lead the family ego or no ego"

DeepZone:
Will you demand for 50?

rampant:
anu ofia,anu mpam ,afo dikwa gi nimi ,ewu

agaba123:
Why should I mind? Just like a woman coming first and you second in class. If you want to make more money, work harder. As far what you make is enough for you to fulfill your role as a husband and father, that's all you need.

agaba123:
Is it rum ?

Baxilexi:
i have realized something on this thread, its not like women are being oppressed by men it that women want to be the man, e.g. when the quest for

women liberization started the problem was the men did not recognise them.so jobs like teaching nursing receptionist ministry of women affairs and many others were created for the woman

later the men do not put them in top positions.

now they want equal rights as the man.
just so you know nigeria is alot better than most counties, take for example germany they have a kkk rule for women kuche(kitchen) kirche(church) and kinder(children) and japan their women are ristricted but the western woman wants everything down to having gonads

men have created more careers for women in the working ssectors of the economy.
the women should not expect to be privalant in all strata.

chiogo:
Hmm, interesting! Take a look at the highlighted text. Since when did naija people start callin people before coming to their house? Matter of fact, very few Nigerians do! That is a western thing, which I think is a very good thing Cuz you just don't go to people's houses anytime you please. But I totally disagree with you that a woman has to call her husband to confirm whether or not to let the visitor in.

See, people cause problems for themselves and they go about blaming western culture. Look at it this way, if a woman's inlaws call to say they'd be visiting and the woman tells them that she has to get  back to them after she has asked her husband, the inlaws would most likely not believe that crap. They'd feel that she's being disrespectful to them, the people who raised her husband. They'd say so many horrible things about her, making the woman feel guilty. And guess what! Most of the time, the man rarely stands up to his parents and vouch for his wife.

Hence, she'll be portrayed a bad woman and the parents pressure the husband into leaving her. This is all due to your so-called submission. Now, my example is based on a Nigerian level anywayz but honestly, I think the situation u put forward can only occur if the woman is a house wife. That is exactly the points people have been making here- those naija men who prefer to go home to marry are INTIMIDATED! They want someone who'd be completely DEPENDENT on them.

Abuseay:
Onyiye u still dey here , dey haunt me, !!lol, hahahhahahah check the dictionary, lmbo, !!

Abuseay:
hey rhino ure still on this matter too, lol, well these ladies wont agree with us, can u imagine a naija babe here in england wants to marry one of my friends, then she goes on cam doing strip shiw asking the guy ,if she cute ,if she likes her figure, Abeg my guy run ooo,  this is just some weeks agoi, Now the guy has a good girl from naija now, and they are communicating, You see what my jand/and Ilu ebo babes are turning into, Western culture overriding us all, Its a pity!!!

agaba123:
Thanks man
Last time I checked, I was told that Nigerians are the most educated group in the US. I don't they get educated for nothing.

SAM MILLA:
@poster, the answer to the question is very very simple.


over 70% of nigerian girls abroad are prostitutes and the boys know that.

Sisikill:
Intimidation pure and simple!

A girl living[i] “in abroad”[/i] probably has her own car, lives her own place and has a job. Men don’t want that, they want a girl who will come and ask them for money for Sanitary Towel, so they can tell her she should buy tissues instead, since Sanitary towel is a luxury and not a necessity. I’m not saying these girls are suegbes, it’s because they don’t have a choice. They can’t work because they have no papers, they can’t drive because they have no papers, they can’t travel because they have no papers. I’ve seen it so many times, women brought to America by their hubbies…for the first year or two (even longer) these women are completely dependent on their husbands for everything. They get weekly allowances and if they happen to run out before the end of the week, too bad!


One woman I know cried like a baby when she found out her husband used to buy her clothe from thrift stores. When she was in Nigeria, she was a tailor. . . an up and coming designer, she came to America and started wearing thrift store clothes. She saved enough money and got herself a sawing machine. . . one of those you’ll find in a Home Economic class. She started sawing and pretty soon, she had her own income. . . went from doing nasty, ratty looking hair to doing really good hair. She, as the Yoruba say, [i]tu ran se [/i]and you can guess what happened, suddenly her husband started to complain that she has become Americanized. Seriously, looking clean, well-dressed and presentable is now Americanized? Her business really took off and the issue of getting a place where she can have a showroom came up and this guy said NO. She begged and begged, brought elders to the house to house to help her talk to her husband and the idiot said, she can do anything she wants as long as she's ready to move out of the house. He accused her "changing" from the girl he married and just basically rubbished her dreams, she didn't get her showroom and just stopped sawing all together. She works as a Teacher's Aid at a daycare center, she is way more intelligent than the teacher she's aiding but the beauty or best part of this is. . . She HATES him with every fiber of her being. She can't stand him, when he travels, she jokes about being free from bondage for however long he is away.

Lovely Marriage, huh? I guess you guys don't care that if she could get away with it, you wife would murder you while you slept because that's how much she hates you, as long as she cooks your food and wash your clothes.


If it’s their preference to go to Nigeria to get married, then it is their preference! How then it is “Abroad living girls” fault?

Seun:
Sussicorn (Respect) loves me? But I am a sinner!

huxley:
When I do get married, it will be a civil ceremony and not a single mention of god, bible or any religious motifs will be allowed.

Baxilexi:
@onyin, so your the person our lord was refering to when he said "be not only readers but doers of the word. him done know since 2000years ago.

chiogo:
Shit! I don't usually post in this romance section, I thot this topic was under 'family'. I'm going to reply anywayz.

Wait!, I'm yet to understand what y'all mean by 'submitting' to your husband. Can somebody give me examples of how a woman can 'submit' to her husband? Maybe, I can actually reply this topic Cuz right now, am seeing loads of BS.

rubi:
Na God dee do me better

bluehorizo:
I concur. It doesn't matter who she is or where she is from. Wht matters is understanding,trust and respect.Those are the basic things that makes every successful relationship.

rubi:
Wake up you have slept for too long I am a happly married woman. I love my hubby he reasons differently from most naija men. I believe in submitting to my hubby to the core and he believes in treating me with all intergrity

Baxilexi:
@onyin, its as simple as they can't be two captains on a ship, neither can there be two Gods in the universe, scripture say "woman be submissive to your husband for as christ is the head of the church so is the man the head of the family . . . . . . . . .