OohMpa's Posts
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 TV/Movies › Re: The Vampire Diaries and The Originals Fan Page by OohMpa: 9:43am On May 09, 2015 |
Lala247:[color=#808000]Which kia? Optima, Picanto or Sportage?  [/color] 3 Likes |
| Family › Re: When Is It Justifiable To Beat A Woman? by OohMpa: 9:16am On May 07, 2015 |
[color=#808000]There are only 2 instances you have to beat women or you not a man  1) When she giving you the double jerk and suck combination and you got one eye closed and the other looking ceiling and floor same time. You come dey viblate like Nokia 3310 about to lerease akamu and she remove mouth The black eye must be veli veli permanent 2) When she on top riding with that big batty. You beat nyash, left right, left right. Yummmm Yummm [/color] 37 Likes |
| TV/Movies › Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 10:48am On May 04, 2015 |
kazzonline:[color=#808000]Lol. Ooh Mpa think say you get strong points Most tv series are rated high by imdb and rotten tomatoes. Empire is no exception. The series even scored 8.2 in its first season, that one na problem. Arrow started at 8.7, Vampire diaries at 8.9, even teen wolf scored high  Ooh Mpa can bet his future big batty side chick that the Fox show would go below 8 next yearYou're deceived by the music and Jamal's voice. Watch the story line, the acting, the numerous plot holes, the unnecessary scenes and so on. Even Naomi Campbell was better than Taraji  [/color] |
| TV/Movies › Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 11:36pm On May 03, 2015 |
kazzonline:[color=#808000]The thing sef dey like African magic That Cookie dey do like Patience Ozokwor, Andre like Jim Iyke and Hakeem like Majid Michel Summary: It's average at best but below the hype on it [/color] |
| TV/Movies › Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 11:10pm On May 03, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Empire is shittttttt [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Risky Love: Couple To Marry 80 Feet Above The Ground On A Rope(photos) by OohMpa: 7:20pm On Apr 29, 2015 |
[color=#808000]These are veli veli smart peeples They do wedding with burial together You see once pliest talk "You may kiss blide". He then kiss her, she come overjoyed thlow flowers like mumu come shake wire. She then start to fall, husband now wan do action film tly save her but he too fall. Mallage and Funeral accomplIshed The guests will bling suits plus black on brack....no costs They will dig 100 ft under as they fall, they enter pit, no coffin.....low costs Plus the rice for wedding will be used for death servicing.....no costs Even the banner will write "Just Mallied/RIP" "He's survived by guests" .........no costs Veli veli smart [/color] 4 Likes |
| Romance › Re: See The Biggest Secret Her Husband Kept From Her. Serious Advise Needed Pls by OohMpa: 5:57pm On Apr 29, 2015 |
[color=#808000][size=20pt]BRILLIANT!!!!! Wonderful Story El Magnifico[/color][/size] https://38.media.tumblr.com/1fdea851fe9e8467bffe2f533a64b654/tumblr_ne2xgj19sh1rnhnqfo1_500.gif 6 Likes |
| Romance › Re: He Is Sleeping With His Friend's Girlfriend by OohMpa: 6:59pm On Apr 27, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Bro, you not a man How can your two flends be sleeping with your other flend and you here blousing Linda Ikeji to know if it's right? Go to that flat and tell her you not leaving till you get your "ration" too..... Foolish bwoi [/color] 1 Like 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: How Do You Call Sex In Your Local Dialect? by OohMpa: 11:06pm On Apr 23, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Inyerenye na Inyaerenye bia me nke mereme E.g. Ooh Mpa and Chimkaire had Inyerenye na Inyaerenye bia me nke mereme Naijaboiy and Marieolae just had Skype Inyerenye na Inyaerenye bia me nke mereme [/color] 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Most Important Ingredients To A Successful Relationship by OohMpa: 11:14pm On Apr 22, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Nice post Don't forget: Dïck, pünny, bwest, big nyash, wide lips, flat tummy, Crayfish, Tomato, Seasoning, Pepper, Curry, Beetroot, okpa, ukpaka, nchawi, kunu and the mama of all ingledients: GOLD CIRCLE!!!!! Thank ooh Mpa later [/color] 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Seriously, I'm Tired Of Doing This To One Of My Girlfriends by OohMpa: 4:15pm On Apr 21, 2015 |
[color=#808000]At the snap of ooh Mpa's fingers, you'll wake up in 3,2,1..... *snaps fingers*[/color] 12 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Please Help!!!!! See What I Saw In My Gf's Bag by OohMpa: 11:37am On Apr 21, 2015 |
[color=#808000][size=20pt]FREEZE!!!! DON'T MOVE!!!![/size] Check if dïck still there If there, carry measuling tape and find length, bleath, thickness and erectiön length If longer, mally that chick with immediate araclity If shorter, change am to pünny If absent, holy father, mother and holy spirit 30 Likes 2 Shares |
| Family › Re: My Hubby Starves Me Of Sex: What To Do? by OohMpa: 3:34pm On Apr 09, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Open your mallage photo album, bring out your wedding pinshure, put am for table.... Snap yourself, put am for table.... Look "Before", look "After", look "Before"again and look "After"again..... It's called Akpu Tlansformation Thank Ooh Mpa later [/color] 144 Likes 7 Shares |
| TV/Movies › Re: Mad Max Or Furious 7: Which Will Be Best Car Movie Of The Year? by OohMpa: 3:18pm On Apr 09, 2015 |
koice:https://media.tumblr.com/d3349a3e6e3aeb9a903a9aaeff386db3/tumblr_inline_mpwfpbMzuc1qz4rgp.gif 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Churches You Should Avoid When Looking For A Wife by OohMpa: 12:49pm On Apr 09, 2015 |
ITbomb:[color=#808000]You lie...... It's 9 out of 10 with the last one stopping at handjöb [/color]ITbomb: 5. JW: The day you find out that the girl you want to marry is a JW and you are not, abort it immediately. A lot of factors are involved outside of love, commitment and DNA.[color=#808000]This one na pure waste of time, resources, lecharge card and fuel The only one ooh Mpa ever had said "Let us pray before we kiss" But for flee pünny, go to Catholic church, plecisily the 10am mass.... plecisily the choir stand plecisily the choir mistless plecisily the daughter of the chairman of the harvest committee [/color] 6 Likes 1 Share |
| TV/Movies › Re: Game Of Thrones is back! Season 5 starts tonight by 9pm by OohMpa: 9:10am On Apr 08, 2015 |
RAKITIC: Lordaweezy:https://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/1034932/karen-bitch-slap-o.gif 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Chinese Man Has Car Accident – 17 Girlfriends Show Up To See Him In Hospital by OohMpa: 1:24pm On Apr 07, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Lubbish.... Ooh Mpa had 28 girlflends one time in his life Ooh Mpa no fit remember all the names, hin go settle for days of the week: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, etc After 7 naming ceremonies, hin continue with food of day: Monday breakfast, Saturday supper, Sunday blunch After 21 naming celemony, hin finish am with miscellaneous Monday breakfast akpu Tuesday lunch spaghetti Friday supper ewedu Saturday desert nyash  Sunday appetizer moin moin We are players [/color] 1 Like |
| TV/Movies › Re: The Vampire Diaries and The Originals Fan Page by OohMpa: 8:57am On Apr 07, 2015 |
[color=#808000]When Ellab heard Elena was leaving.....[/color] https://38.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m9ya54PfAM1qivd1ao1_500.gif 7 Likes 2 Shares |
| TV/Movies › Re: The Vampire Diaries and The Originals Fan Page by OohMpa: 2:58am On Apr 07, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Elena is leaving!!!!!![/color] https://33.media.tumblr.com/80e8d2c5b76f55efd09c7ef39cb19e25/tumblr_mtytk88Xbo1r2333xo1_250.gif 3 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Nairalanders Tell Us Your Selling Point(goody Bag) by OohMpa: 9:47pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
MzNelly:[color=#808000] Sweeny, please explain carefully how your blain is selling point. Do you see man, greet man, then open celeblum to say "See my wonderful blain" Or you do sekem sekem for road with your blain for hand and guys see you and say "wow, what wonderful blain she got" Please reply ASAP [/color] 23 Likes 6 Shares |
| Romance › Re: MEN Need To Stop Treating WOMEN Like Sex Object! by OohMpa: 4:14pm On Apr 06, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Shoro niyen? Like say women no dey enjoy sex Like say dem no dey give green light Like say dem no dey dominate for föreplay Like say dem no go hold your dïck when you dey sleep for night or dey give you head when you wake up for morning E be like say na virgin open this thread We men are the sex objects [/color] 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: If You Can Change Something In Your Partner.. by OohMpa: 6:54pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
[color=#808000]She farts when she cüms..... When ooh Mpa dey give her head, she start contracting moaning "Ooh Mpa, Oohhhhhhnnh Mpaaaaaaaaa" Then when she reaches point of no return, she mess; that type when you mix expired egg and rancid butter And you know woman organism lasts more than 50 seconds, so she force ooh Mpa's head until she finish while he breathe in mess Ooh Mpa try face mask continue, mess bleak mask Ooh Mpa tie gele for nose, mess bleak gele Ooh Mpa come try head gear, talk today na today, mess change from egg to goat faeces.... Ooh Mpa come use Ambi Purr, the freshener be like ammonia Ooh Mpa finally tly Mortein, even mosquitoes dey fear mess pass Ooh Mpa say, THAT'S IT!!!! ENOUGH IS ENOUGHS!!! Pack comot We giff up [/color] 2 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Why Do Most Guys Dislike Fat Girls? by OohMpa: 4:20pm On Apr 05, 2015 |
[color=#808000]There are only three types of girls: The slim, The curvy and The chubby Your description is akin to fufu, amala, wheat, pounded yam, which clearly ain't a human being So how can we dislike something that doesn't exist? [/color] 39 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Romancelanders,can You Please Tell Me How To Know If A Male Is Cheating On You? by OohMpa: 9:44pm On Apr 04, 2015 |
[color=#808000]Never accuse a man wrongly unless you get hard evidence. This is sure ploof evidence 1) If he's kissing someone, he's not cheating cos he could be helping her breathe. Unless he says yes, then NO CHEAT!!! 2)If he's plessing bwest, he's not cheating cos he could be doing examination. Unless he says yes, then NO CHEAT!!! 3)If he finger woman, he's not cheating cos he could be doing examination for discharge. Unless he says yes, then NO CHEAT!!! 4) If he give head or receive head, he's not cheating cos he help the chick to clean her region to maintain hygiene and vice versa. Unless he says yes, then NO CHEAT!!!! 5) If he put dïck inside, he's not cheating cos he could be checking for cancer. Unless he says yes, then NO CHEAT!!!! 6) If you say "Baby, what are you doing?" and he replies "I can explain" or "It is the devil", then he's cheating. But if he says "It's not what you think", then NO CHEAT!!!! Don't destroy your lerashunship Thank Ooh Mpa later [/color] 3 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Guys, Ever Been Deceived By A Lady's Profile Picture? Share Your Experiences by OohMpa: 5:14pm On Apr 04, 2015 |
[color=#808000]E get one girl for here wey people talk say she fine.... Open thlead, you see her name One guy mention crush, you see her name One guy even call am baby mama Ooh Mpa say this girl must be veli veli fine. Ooh Mpa bought anti hypertension dlugs just in case her beauty for dp give me hypertension. Ooh Mpa also bought a full cup of Vaseline just for preasure Ooh Mpa now open the plofile, The thing dey load small. Argh, this pinshure must be very fine, ooh Mpa said.... After pinshure load, ooh Mpa look am for 30 secs, look site, look link to make sure na the right moniker. E load am again, again up to 8x, rotate am, even uproad for hin plasma, The thing still dey as e dey... Ooh Mpa no talk, waka go meet person wey sell am Vaseline, give am upper cut NL bwoiz, una know who fine? She be mod, ooh Mpa no wan ban [/color] 171 Likes 33 Shares |
| Romance › Re: My Girlfriend Is Showing Her Real Character, What Do I Do? by OohMpa: 12:25pm On Apr 04, 2015 |
[color=#808000]You know power outage is as a result of the low distribution of MW in this country. Some states have been able to build their thermal plants but others aren't buoyant enough This is the reason why we masses kicked GEJ out of office due to his unending promises to solve this issue. By May 29th, we'll see what GMB can do about this hazard But for the mean time, get her a generator preferably a 3HP or she could have an inverter when power turns south. There's solar panel... Hope ooh Mpa has been able to help her stubbornness? You're welcome!!!! [/color] 5 Likes |
| Romance › Re: I Don't Know If My Cleaner Is Trying To Seduce Me by OohMpa: 12:15pm On Apr 04, 2015 |
[color=#808000]This kind cleaner sef..... When next you see her cleaning on the white polo with no bra and it irritates you, tell her to TAKE IT OFF!!! Better she sweat on bwests than the polo. Foolish gyal [/color] 4 Likes |
| Romance › Re: I Feel Single And Serching ,even When My Boyfrnd Is With Me by OohMpa: 10:56am On Apr 03, 2015 |
https://img3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20130820204929/random-ness/images/8/8c/Hysterical-laugh.gif [color=#808000]Ooh Mpa don give up....... After one round i.e. 10 mins, the manchi go rest for 10,080 mins. The sex na contract work ooooooo Nne, Jesus says pick up the cross and follow him. Prease and prease, pick up your legs and run away from him Ooh Mpa don die for here ooooooo [/color] 2 Likes 2 Shares |
| Romance › Re: My Date Dumped Me Because Of Buhari. by OohMpa: 9:08am On Apr 03, 2015 |
MzNelly:[color=#808000]The guy be like: So, you voted an old man to rule over our relationship? How can I trust you with my grandfather? In fact it's over[/color] https://38.media.tumblr.com/ab9434bd851c5c361a7809d72074651f/tumblr_mgbvb6vC9t1rzyljso2_250.gif 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Does She Really Look Like DI'JA *pictures* by OohMpa: 10:18pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
[color=#808000]See as you dey like man with bwest. No be mustache be that? And you want to compare your mandigo to ooh Mpa's Di'ja?[/color] https://stream1.gifsoup.com/view/1034932/karen-bitch-slap-o.gif 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: ‘free Sex For Buhari': Man Beaten To Coma After Refusing To Pay Prostitute by OohMpa: 9:36pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
[color=#808000]We Nairaland Association of Late Cumers, NALC [est 2013 for vision 2020. Motto: Say no to 3 mins indomie sex] hereby declare free sex for the females in this forum, 18 years and above Promo runs till Easter Sunday when Christ has cüm again Don't let this opportunity pass you by GRAB YOUR MALE COPY NOW!!!! Signed: Ooh Mpa, President and only member [/color] 33 Likes 6 Shares |
| Romance › Re: What Do You Think??? by OohMpa: 1:38pm On Apr 02, 2015 |
dechandel:[color=#808000]You see young one, listen to these wise words of Ooh Mpa: There comes a time in someone's life you seek the CHANGE!!! You know since 12 years, she's been writing Junior WASCCE. The first time, she failed, she cly, she rest The second time, she no know maths, she fail, she cly, she rest The third time, dem seize result, she fail, she cly, she say NO MORE TLANSFORMATION!!!!! She wants CHANGE!!!! So she do scan and find no brain in head but in pünny. So, she use her brain find man who do scan to see blain in penïs, get child, get money, comot JSS 3 and now she accomplish all goal in life We thank God for CHANGE!!!!! Plaisseeeeee The Lordddddd!!!! [/color] 1 Like |
