OohMpa's Posts
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 Romance › Re: My Friend Says She Is Pregnant For Me But I'm Not Ready by OohMpa: 3:11pm On Dec 23, 2014 |
Zeemoor:[color=#808000]So you're alive? For making ooh Mpa miss you too much, blow him a kiss  [/color] |
| Romance › Re: My Friend Says She Is Pregnant For Me But I'm Not Ready by OohMpa: 10:58am On Dec 23, 2014 |
[color=#808000]That moment you kissed her, it's heaven, shei? And you sucked her tittays, it's euphoric, shei? Then she grabbed your John bull, it's lets go there, okwa ya? And when you're doing 1,2,1,2, calling her name, it's beautiful, oi? finally, when you're vibrating like Nokia phone about to release, you're in the moon, abi? And you forgot to put #50 raincoat in wallet, abi? No go marry am, foolish bwoi [/color] 25 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: 9 Things A Guy Can Do For A Girl That Are More Intimate Than Sex by OohMpa: 10:25am On Dec 23, 2014 |
1 Like 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Ladies : Why Do Ladies Attend Parties And Not Dance ??? by OohMpa: 10:22am On Dec 23, 2014 |
[color=#808000]1) How old are you? At this your age, you still dey find woman nyash to rock for party. No bring your own come 2)Na only dance dem dey do for party? 3) Why are you nagging over the girls? Some guys too don't dance 4) Ooh Mpa doesn't dance with girls in public just with fellows. He believes that dance should be in private. That sort of dance shouldn't be out in the open 5) Why not try and hook up with a chick at the party if you came alone preferably before the dance section? That gives you better chances to dance with the girl or better still go beyond that... Think like a player bro, not a virgin #Sai[/color] 4 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Reasons You Should Get Married Later In Life by OohMpa: 7:56pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
[color=#808000]This is what ooh Mpa tells his gfs but they won't listen, dem dey hustle Mrs ooh Mpa Now, they're using style to hunt ooh Mpa's raincoat for artificial belle, Ooh Mpa say no, dem dey vex Ooh Mpa now ties raincoat, use raincoat, dry raincoat then burn raincoat.....Their fada [/color] 9 Likes |
| Nairaland General › Re: Send Your Christmas Shout Out To Your Love ones by OohMpa: 6:23pm On Dec 22, 2014 |
chimkaire:[color=#808000]Oohmpa has only 4½ gfs plus 2¼ friends with benefits and you're calling him Marvin Gaye.... Will you be his 5th gf? Ooh Mpa would send the ½ for one week vacation just for you  @Stinggy, same to you bro[/color] |
| Romance › Re: Why Is Premarital Sex So Celebrated? by OohMpa: 11:05am On Dec 22, 2014 |
[color=#808000]For your information, we doesn't plactise premarItal sex, we plactise sex before marriage [/color] |
| Romance › Re: Should I Forvive And Forget Or Let Go? by OohMpa: 8:46pm On Dec 21, 2014 |
olamisegbe:[color=#808000]This guy bearing Satan is enjoying oooo, always sleeping with different girls at the same time Satan, Satan, Satan how many times ooh Mpa call you? Leave our girls alone [/color] 3 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: I Want To Marry Mukina by OohMpa: 7:53pm On Dec 21, 2014 |
mkpakanaodogwu:[color=#808000]Keep quiet!! Stop spreading lies Seun is in the friendzone [/color] 1 Like 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: He Choose To Be With Me Alone On His Birthday, Pls Is This Normal? by OohMpa: 11:22am On Dec 20, 2014 |
Midehi:[color=#808000]He wanted your pünny dammit Will he punninize in the party? No Now you've given him pünny, you enjoy am? Yes He left all the girls in the party to give you till day break unlimited punninizing no strings attached and you're complaining Shatap and enjoy the relationship. More grease to your kpeckus [/color] 7 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Why Do Nice Guys Always Get Treated Badly? by OohMpa: 11:15am On Dec 20, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Here's why: 1) They feel you're a player cos all players start nicely 2) They see you as hypocrites who want sth. After that, hasta la vista 3) You don't live in the real world. Obviously, you can't relate to them 4) You'd always be second to the real guys. At least they don't lie to them 5) Nice gets you a relationship, real sustains a relationship. That's where they wanna be Keep on with the nice while ooh Mpa gets realer every second. Guys like you really up ooh Mpa's statistics #Sai[/color] 24 Likes |
| TV/Movies › Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 1:07pm On Dec 18, 2014 |
Fourcade:[color=#808000]That's the painful part. Nothing interesting on tv now. It's the only show on tv that challenged ooh Mpa's intellect, no other.... HBO had to cancel due to marginal profits when compared to it's production cost plus Aaron dey give dem tough time with negotiations Even with its "unpopularity", the show still garnered awards and arguably one of the best No SOA, GOT, Sherlock, etc now left with dem arrow and originals shït |
| TV/Movies › Re: The Vampire Diaries and The Originals Fan Page by OohMpa: 10:43pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
Jaymaestro:[color=#808000]Apparently, the vampire blood can cure congenital cases but not acquired diseases like cancer And the interesting part, since the blood isn't immune to cancer, then vampires should also die of cancer or get it from all their exposures, no?  And here comes the twist, Kai can now draw magic from travelers also, even suck magic from inanimate earth itself not witches again or even travelers but sand All hail Julie Plec for Primetime Emmy [/color] 1 Like |
| TV/Movies › Re: What Series Are You Watching Now? Part 2 by OohMpa: 10:23pm On Dec 17, 2014 |
donhils:[color=#808000]Ooh Mpa can't even phantom which planet you came from for you not to love (not like) The Newsroom Easily ooh Mpa's top 5 all time Or perhaps your type is centered on action, cops, vampires and super heroes.... Ooh Mpa's own problem is that Aaron Sorkin didn't take heed to his death threats about ending the show Each episode leaves you yearning for more especially this last season. Why would he break ooh Mpa's heart, rebuild it and break it again after every episode? Aaron, no near Naija or else Ooh Mpa will use your body parts at Okija to buy a container for Apapa Wharf [/color] 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Am I A Womanizer? by OohMpa: 3:42pm On Dec 08, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Bro, you're perfectly normal. You ain't a womanizer but a player Endeavor to register at the player's club, hq is at Upper Iweka road opposite otu mmiri junction at the back of Ogbologbo Spërm bank... Come with your particulars and evidence of your babes, you'd start from level 2 because your babes are small.... Your registration fee covers 6 months unlimited durex delivery and 1 month supply of olive oil... Thanks [/color] 3 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Things To Do For Your Woman Without Her Asking by OohMpa: 10:49pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Don't tell other women you're taken: Scientists believe that once your babe finds out you're babeless to the other babe. The babe would want to protect her rights of owning the babe that the other babe also wants to own. Then these babes fight for you the babe while you, the babe clearly watch the babe show.... You understand? Cuddle them in the night It's been proven 99.85% of cuddling increases libido levels. When you cuddle, bring out your crőtch to expect your own cuddling by 3:05am If e no happen, call Seun bascard And os courfe, give head when not asked.... Chicks love anything that can give head  [/color] 1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Guys: What Would You Do If You Find Out??? by OohMpa: 8:28pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
mayapop:[color=#808000]With those lips, ooh Mpa wanna know how slow you can spell Fellatiö [/color] |
| Family › Re: He Is Punishing Me On Our Honey Moon by OohMpa: 7:42pm On Dec 05, 2014 |
119 Likes 8 Shares |
| Music/Radio › Re: Amazing: Psy's "Gangnam Style" Reaches Maximum Number For Youtube Views Counter. by OohMpa: 11:26am On Dec 04, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Lubbish.... Dance that's meant for Parkinson patients Even this ogbanje shoki better pass am...[/color] https://thenet.ng/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Lil-Kesh-Shoki-video.png 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: 7 Habits Of True Gentleman Thatmake Women Melt by OohMpa: 8:48am On Dec 04, 2014 |
dechandel[color=#808000]You see Naija girls?  How do we expect to get pünny if they don't want lomantic? They only think about iPhone 6 not flowers Back in Paris, give dandelions and get pünny In Jamaica, give twerk CD and get pünny In Mexico, give weed and get pünny But in Nigeria, NO!!!! E must be 5 star restaurant We give up [/color] 4 Likes 2 Shares |
| Romance › Re: Take A Look At This Relationship Issue, And Please Drop Your Best Advice by OohMpa: 10:24pm On Dec 03, 2014 |
[color=#808000]This is a serious case but always a solution. Bring forth these things: 1)A witch's broom.... 2)2 bottles of alomo... 3)2 rolls of weed... 4)A packet of durex... 5)An R.Kelly CD Bring the chick to Ooh Mpa's place. She must come with bumshot and extra pant The alomo and igbo will take care of föreplay and durex will lube the orgäsm... Bring your best friend by 11:59pm and make sure say hin catch ooh Mpa. Prepare the witch broom for the great escape If the guy no hate ooh Mpa pass you, call yourself bascard [/color] 4 Likes |
| Health › Re: Staring At Women’s Bosoms Makes Men Live Longer And Healthier- Dr. Karen by OohMpa: 11:41am On Nov 30, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Thisi gloup of bwest doesn't apply to the following: 1) Shy bwest: This means when boöbsie obeys the raw of glavity. Prease and prease, it's been found that staling at this type reads to leduced 6 months rife span/stare. So, women stop kill us 2) Chin chin bwest: You know that type wey dey rike fullu stop? Lesearchers found out it removes 8 months rife span/stare. So put enough foam in chest when rooking at us. Thanks as you compry #Sai[/color] 6 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Please Help Me, He Has My Nudes. by OohMpa: 11:52am On Nov 28, 2014 |
prettyboi1989:https://31.media.tumblr.com/6227ad2bde2f6d4f200ca805a3792e82/tumblr_n2wmgzxSli1s2wzbdo1_500.gif 6 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Please Help Me, He Has My Nudes. by OohMpa: 12:03am On Nov 28, 2014 |
[color=#808000]How does we belief without ploof? Pinksures of ex and the other boy or adonbilivit Pinksures of the conversing with the other boy or adonbilivit Pinksures of him on knees begged for sex or adonbilivit Pinksures of him shows you the video or awilneverbilivit Pinksures of you in bed tlying to sreep and no come or adonbilivit Pinksures of the Pinksures and videos of video of the kpansh or adonbilivit and finally..... Pinksures of you typing this by 11:25pm or we won't bilivit. Reply ASAP [/color] 14 Likes 2 Shares |
| Romance › Re: Twelve (12) Reasons Why You Should Consider Settling Down With A Beautiful Lady. by OohMpa: 11:31pm On Nov 27, 2014 |
1 Like |
| Romance › Re: Share Your Celibacy Relationship Experience Here. by OohMpa: 8:29am On Nov 27, 2014 |
alabiyemmy:https://img4.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20120820003454/smuff/images/c/cd/Bless_this_post.gif [color=#808000]No mind Nigerians.... Abusing words since thy kingdom come They for just talk say guys no look their side for 11 months, they come dey find purpose for celibacy umbrella... If you need bfs, Ooh Mpa is available on the 365th day of your deceptive quest [/color] 33 Likes 1 Share |
| Romance › Re: Share Your Celibacy Relationship Experience Here. by OohMpa: 8:22am On Nov 27, 2014 |
FLAWLES:[color=#808000]You stopped browsing because you want to be single... You went 10 months without phone because say you wan dey single.. You be Aishwarya Rai? Aunty please tell us another story  Meanwhile, this your tori dey sweet Lil kesh [/color]https://thenet.ng/wp-content/uploads/2014/04/Lil-Kesh-Shoki-video.png 33 Likes 2 Shares |
| Romance › Re: My Closest Friend Had Sex With My Babe by OohMpa: 9:17am On Nov 25, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Don't stop there, tell us more.... Wetin dem drink? How e take start? Who comot first cloth? Which positions the guy use? Which name was she shouting? How many times the guy and girl cüm? Who give first head, second head and the chick give head? When the guy realise say na mistake, after 45mins of kpansh? The chick touch the guy nyash? When they come know say na mistake, they cuddled näked? Reply ASAP [/color] 5 Likes |
| Romance › Re: Good Girls Are Bad Girls That Have Never Been Caught? by OohMpa: 9:10am On Nov 24, 2014 |
[color=#808000]Okay, let ooh Mpa tell you a story.... Ooh Mpa met this girl on fb, she had this innocent aura you could sense from far away. She initiated with a pm, bad guy like ooh Mpa used words to mesmerize her. She fell sotey she wanted to meet. Ooh Mpa stalled her for some time cos he didn't want a virgin added to his list but she wanted to see this gorgeous looking, 6ft 1 sexy 6.5inch guy in person. Ooh Mpa unwillingly gave her the address and waited and waited.... She came by 7pm....first sign She wanted to stay on ooh Mpa's bed.....second sign She wanted to dance....case closed She even woke ooh Mpa twice, one with a handjöb and the other with a head. Ooh Mpa's durex saw better days In the morning, she said she's going to church  Good or bad? [/color] 1 Like 1 Share |
