₦airaland Forum

missberrypop5:
Hehehehehehe, what should we do to them then?

Boko Hari feels that it is more patriotic, humane, and indeed "presidential", to rehabilitate rather than liquidate captured terrorist gunmen.

Specifically Buhari would like the Nigerian federal government to ensure that each captured Boko Haram fighter is given immediate access to 72 virgins while they are guests of the military, and WITHOUT the requirement that the fighters be killed as a prerequisite for entry into Paradise, where the treasured privilege of qualifying for virgin allocations was previously restricted by Holy Laws finally overturned in the court of public opinion.

When the terrorist slave-raiding gangs in the Sambisa theater of war get to know that their colleagues that fell into federal hands are actually enjoying wine, women and song while relaxing in those once-feared army barracks, the gunmen will disarm IMMEDIATELY and turn themselves in so as to score a stay in similar enviable conditions, as a guest of the Nigerian federal government. This innovative approach to modern warfare is the ONLY way to defeat the virgin hunters at their own game, and thus to end the terrorist invasion of northern Nigeria, within the time-frame of a weekend or less.

For suggesting this innovative approach to conflict resolution, Buhari the terror gang financier and Jihad consultant should be mighty proud of himself, especially when he is summoned to grace the august occasion at which his eccentric "contributions" to world peace will be feted while royal scribes record events for posteriors, on the hallowed anus of history.

tomakint:
My recent trip to Onitsha 2 months ago was an interesting one.....I was like (shortly after passing through the bridge) could this be the uppy (upper) Iweka I used to know way back then.....indeed this coastal town could be the hub of business not only for Nigeria but Africa on the long run....few pix

Please remove the picture of your house-girl holding the bag of ingredients for Isi Ewu stew for which you sent her by Okada Public Jet, to acquire in the market on such a rainy day. That picture does not fit with the theme of development in Onitcha, and it can even lead to speculation on the part of Nairaland readers, which you do not want to encourage.

Small time now you go mistake tell us say you don dey sook that ya house girl. No do am o, because na the second day dem go run go tell that ya mother-in-law with she husband when be retire solja, come let dem take vex pass judgement on you, together with the person when sen you to go dey do that kind ting for corner-corner. My friend you better take style clean mouth, stand up and commot there SOFTLY, like say no be you dem dey find.

The IP address and therefore the physical locations of every contributor to this forum are meticulously plotted and recorded as a matter of routine in these times of cyber-terrorism, therefore any individuals or groups choosing to use this medium for the purpose of throwing schoolyard insults at Nigeria's elected president could, conceivably, wind up as "persons of interest", who may then gain eligibility for "rendition" to a secure facility where indefinite periods of "protective custody" may await the foolhardy, when all is said and done.

The moral of it all is thus to keep your drunken insults for use when you stagger home from the neighborhood moonshine bar, and be pragmatic enough to express your disapproval of the Nigerian president with less "drunk and disorderly" diction when writing on the internet, so as to reduce the chances that you will ever run afoul of the recently passed Nigerian legislation that criminalizes the use of violent language to attack the person or office of the Commander in Chief of the Armed Forces.

If, on the other hand, Nigerian President Jonathan's legions of career internet hecklers assume that the passage of new legislation is a trivial matter they can ignore with impunity, they will be in for a nasty shock when armed operatives from the Directorate of Military Intelligence come knocking on their doors, holding handcuffs and leg chains.

Calm down and please just shut the hell up until your arrest warrant for terror incitement is served on you, Mr. Boko Hari.

The world is keenly aware that you are PERSONALLY responsible for ALL the deaths being recorded in northern Nigeria by your gang of slave raiding invaders, so there is no need at all to lecture anybody about where to look for suspects, since the ONLY suspect is YOU.

Thank you Argon. I have saved the above write-up covering that extraordinary man in a million - MKO Abiola.

I am indeed privileged to have borne living witness to the life and times of that giant among men, MKO.

Rest in Peace, Baba Kola, Baba Deji, Baba Agboola. Rest in peace

carefreewannabe:
When it serves the purpose of self-defense and when there is no other way to defend yourself.

What else should the girl have done?

The 14-year old victim of modern day slavery reacted after prolonged torture inflicted by her ppedofile "owner" who meted out the same brutality to her that he would to purchased livestock. Faced with a lifetime sentence imprisoned in the home of a sadistic madman who she became convinced would ultimately murder her, the victim fought back desperately and ended her oppressor's accursed life in an act of pure self-defense, which can EASILY be established as such in any JUST court of law, BESIDES the kangaroo village courts of the type that just tried to impose a death penalty on the child.

President Jonathan, Set this child FREE !

As Commander in Chief of the Nigerian Armed Forces, President Jonathan should seize the golden political opportunity presented by this miscarriage of justice planned against a child-victim twice over persecuted, by invoking his PRESIDENTIAL PREROGATIVE to summarily OVER-RULE the barbaric sentence of death levied against this innocent child that was forced into a marital union with an unrepentant mholester hiding behind the convenient guise of "tradition and religion" to feed his base predatory instincts.

Jonathan Goodluck, the judgement of history will indeed be kind to you if you grab this opportunity to MANIFEST your belief in justice for Nigeria's weak and mistreated, whose very LIVES can be saved by your good self, Your Excellency, with the simple placement of a phone call, and the stroke of a pen. Stand on the side of what will ALWAYS be right, Jonathan, and set that girl free NOW.

Stand for compassion, Johathan. Embrace benevolence for the downtrodden, given that this always nurtures growing kinship amid the comity of civilized nations, ensuring salvation, redemption and indeed liberty for all within and without Africa whose lives you touch during the illustrious balance of your truly blessed life.

Please, You Excellency Jonathan Goodluck, PLEASE, use your power of executive veto to REJECT the ugly and evil sentence of death passed on this 14-year old victim of modern day slavery, so that she be set FREE. Remove her from that area as soon as she is liberated by her captors, and you will be FLOODED with offers from responsible governments offering to welcome her where she can attend school, and grow up to achieve her greatest academic and professional potential.

Set the 14 year old victim of slavery FREE, Johathan. It is within your power as Nigeria's Head of State. Do this good deed NOW, sir.

That is some vintage George Carlin for sure. He sniffs out and comments on life's absurdities without caring who gets bent out of shape over hearing the truth. I recall with a smile his most famous quotes regarding the Seven Dirty Words.

Ken Saro Wiwa was a writer whose ancestors farmed the land and fished the waters of the Niger Delta for generations BEFORE oil companies laid waste the rich resources of that enormous mangrove swamp. Not long after Saro Wiwa spoke angry words in public gatherings about those from his native Ogoni community that were at the time perceived to have "sold out' to oil exploration companies, Saro Wiwa was arrested by forces loyal to then military tyrant Sanni Abacha, hurriedly "tried" by kangaroo court with no appeal, and then, to the astonishment of the free world, hung by the neck until dead ONLY after repeated botched attempts at his execution.

A loyal disciple of the late and loathed dictator Sanni Abacha, appropriately nick-named "Weeping General Madman Buhari", himself a former military tyrant of particularly brutal antecedents, has, over the decades since Saro Wiwa was tortured to death by military fiat, made a frigging CAREER out of DIRECTLY calling for "bloodshed", during the course national elections in which Buhari ran for president, and was consistently rejected by the Nigerian electorate like the bastard offspring of a 20-naira szex worker with a needle drug habit.

Despite MANY direct threats issued in public gatherings by Weeping General Buhari, to the effect that the penalty for his sustaining another flat rejection by the Nigerian electorate would be a nation rendered "ungovernable" thanks to agents hired by the sore losers at the polls, Buhari, unlike the innocent Ken Sawo Wiwa, has evaded arrest for trial thus far as the year 2014 runs its course, his record as an organizer behind waves of violent crimes against innocent civilians notwithstanding.


The grave injustice done to Ken Saro Wiwa, when viewed in the same light as the REGULAR baying for bloodshed that is attributed to Weeping General Buhari EVERY FFUCKING ELECTION Nigeria EVER HOLDS, illustrates so eloquently the double standard of "justice" that has remained among the more malignant of Nigeria's festering cancerous growths over time, given that this weakened or aloof judiciary APPEARS to turn a blind eye and just whistle a happy tune, whenever the mad man Buhari sees another defeat heading his way, and calls out to his rented mobs of starving angry savages that the time has come to kill political opponents and the innocent, yet again.

The logical last stop for final justice due and owing against many of the worlds rascals and mass killers is of course the International Criminal Court, located conveniently close to Nigeria in The Netherlands. Weeping General Buhari's day in that absolutely impartial court of law WILL come, and when that overdue eventuality does occur, the African continent will be rid of one particularly nasty individual whose most recent pastime has been sponsoring the ongoing terror gang invasion ripping apart Northern Nigeria, even as he puffs up his little bird-chest with boasted declarations of intent to run for president and "RULER" over the entire nation of Nigeria, whether the majority approves of such slavery or not.

Weeping General Buhari, Nigeria's perennial court jester and election loser, is a text-book example of why that esteemed law court exists in Den Haag, Holland, so it is indeed reassuring to expect and anticipate that Weeping General Buhari WILL be brought before the panel of learned and fearless presiding judges at the International Criminal Court, kicking and screaming like the blood-thirsty monkey Buhari remains, if need be.

SkinnyDude:
people, don't listen to his lies!! he's 41. just take a glance at his pix.
UnibenOldMan

He looks mean too, and capable of whupping your butt if he tracks you down for suggesting that he is older than his stated age.

Multi-rotor radio controlled aircraft can be fabricated in virtually ANY shape that the imagination can think up. For example, an ingenious RC hobbyist is marketing a multi-rotor SUPERMAN that flies through the sky just like the one in the movies.

The exploding market of RC flying craft in a variety of shapes and sizes will no doubt trigger thousands of "UFO sighting" reports over the coming years, particularly as these craft can now be operated in the dead of night, using GPS positioning to navigate odd-looking airborne machines fitted with ultra bright LED lighting systems.

While the instinct to leap up and applaud wildly like a trained sea-lion is understandable, whenever a Nigerian is bestowed with an internationally recognized position of responsibility, this particular instance should be seen as a BAD and SAD development, given that the Nigerian woman purportedly elevated to a position of global authority is nothing more just than another compulsive kleptomaniac, who had a penchant for taking numerous chartered jet flights between Europe and Africa, while billing the Nigerian treasury 100 times the cost of a FIRST CLASS airfare on regular commercial airliner plying the same routes.

As a die-hard loyalist of President Goodluck Jonathan and of his administration in general terms, I must confess to be bitterly disappointed at the alarming and reckless error that has been made in picking a well known thief and criminal embezzler to represent not just Nigeria, on the world stage, but also ALL other oil-producing nations of the world. Hopefully, after due consideration, the Jonathan administration will come to realize what an ill- conceived selection this has been, to pick a light-fingered woman whose rightful place is a nice secure jail cell, and make her a frigging diplomat, for ffucks sake.

clara472:
Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon popularly known for his complicated choice of grammar took to his facebook page to share his opinion.
Read his post below
Hon. Patrick Obahiagbon wrote: “Whatever may be the oracular oration of the police in denuding Tambuwal of his security apparatchik,this is

one diaphanous exempli gratia of scabrous impunity Chai !



Institutional desecration and executive apacheism. Diariz God. Diariz God.

compos mentis Chai ! Sai !

Who no hold correct Latin Dictionary for hand, just find ya way go read another topic now, as gentleman concern.

Shame no dey inside at all. Just go, softly, and we all go look another place. Person who no strong nogo fit withstand how as Oga Patrick dey nak hin own grammar when get as e be, when fit fall timber, as e strong reach.

Everybody just face ya business and no fear. Today-today now-now, Patrick Obahiagbon don issue confirm signal say him dey write another press release for hand, say anybody when know say him dey ready to face Big English when full Oga Patrick press release, make that person better stand well, before he try am.

All pictures showing the Weeping General doing his thing weeping over another defeat, should please be posted here by good citizens. Thank you.

elbinmanny:
Buhari claims that he has no foreign bank account, no booming business, no house in Lagos or Abuja. He has 2 houses: one in Katsina and the other in Kaduna. Yet he has been contesting elections since 2003 and pursuing it up to the Supreme Court with his team of SANs. The minimum appearance fee for a SAN at the Presidential election case at the Supreme Court is N25 million. Where did he get this money? Can he tell us his sponsors? He borrowed N27.5 million to buy a form, yet he moves around in Chattered aircraft each time he wants to fly which is costlier than owing one. Buhari is definitely a pretender. i cant be deceived

As the self-appointed Guardian of Morality, Grand Patron of Accountability, Inquisitor of Infidels and future Calipha of Katsina, our Weeping General is the proud custodian of a LIFETIME valid license to CONJURE cash money from terrorist organisations and gun dealers word-wide, in exchange for instigating war during every waking moment spent engaged in his blood-drenched career of genocide promotion.

LeOstrich:
The Makurdi airfield is a military air field and permision to use the runway is at the discretion of the Commandant.

The airfield is used by the airforce in staging missions in the NE.

what if there was a mission on going or an emergency declared by one of the airforce jets and the runway was cleared for emergency landing?

[size=14pt]Is ayatollah General Monkey Blood's life and his politricking more important than a pilot's life?[/size]

By the way, who give am money to charter jet?

yeye dey smell. Let him hit the roads like the millions of Nigerians that cant afford to charter a jet.

useless noise maker

The Weeping General will become the Weeing General when he gets done reading the above TRUE TALK.

One can only hope that Weeping General Boko-Boss Buhari does not order a few random suicide bomb attacks on the towns whose airport control towers had the temerity to ban the future Calipha of Maiduguri's modest private jet from landing.

To cure male pattern-baldness, simply place the smoke-dried heads of THREE male red-headed Agama lizards in your pocket for SEVEN days and nights, then call back here to update us.

Naijasinglegirl:
exactly what that doctor did

Naijasingle Girl your comedic writing skills are a true gift, and if you aren't doing so already on a part-time basis, I would like to suggest that you parlay that literary flair into writing for paid publication in some form, be that on paper, or on the net.

That'll be ten quid for the unsolicited free advice. Thank you.

Truckpusher:


Kai!! una bad no be small....smh

Omolanke Man is da man. We dey ya back, dey follow you push am.

Truckpusher:
A pig remains a pig, even with lipstick applied.

I have corrected your omission, with due respect.

For some reason this incident reminds me of one that was recounted to me about a flight that was departing Lagos airport, but which had been OVER-booked, such that the number of passengers attempting to board the plane exceeded the number of seats on the aircraft.

The pilot, seeing his predicament, and being aware that he could not fly with people standing in the aisles as though they were in a Lagos city bus, decided to conduct an impromptu fitness test to determine who would be selected to fly, and who would be politely asked to try the next scheduled flight.

The grappling passengers were therefore instructed to run TWO laps around the plane on the tarmac, and to board the stairway AFTER completion of the second lap. By this simple exercise, all the fat ffucks, who had not run since they were kids, wound up last, and were thus prevented from boarding the flight, with the recommendation that they get in shape against the next time such an exercise-based selection process would be demanded of them.

Please can somebody be so kind as to post some pictures of the Weeping General doing what he does best after each election defeat - weeping.

I noticed that my dogs like to bark at the computer screen whenever they see photographs of the Weeping General, so this request is on their behalf. Thank you in advance.

Buhari is a dangerous and desperate man who has demonstrated his willingness to incite random violence, each time he suffers another well-deserved electoral defeat. The Nigerian government would be well advised to closely monitor every word uttered by Mr. Buhari over the next few months, to facilitate his arrest and confinement the INSTANT he says ANYTHING that could be construed as a "call to arms", especially in this time of major armed conflict in northern Nigeria, Buhari's homeland where he may ultimately establish his own-privately run caliphate.

Under the table of course, Buhari remains a MAJOR financier and poorly disguised apologist for the Boko Haram terror gang that he created in collaboration with other fanatics for the explicit political purpose of "making Nigeria ungovernable" as per threats regularly issued by parasitic born-to-rule "national estate inheritors" of Buhari's ilk, ever since it began to dawn on them that Nigeria's militarily defended power base has FINALLY been decentralized, such that COMPETENT presidents can now emerge literally from ANY of the nation's 206 tribal constituencies, paving the way to a retroactive mass seizure of all Nigerian oil fields allocated on the basis of tribal or familial considerations, over the past half-century.


Rightfully anticipating another humiliating electoral defeat in Nigeria's upcoming 2015 presidential polls, Buhari is already expressing an implied threat of bodily harm against innocent civilians and government officials alike, but this time, a progressively irrational Buhari MAY feel inclined to order the customary bloodshed BEFORE the 2015 presidential elections even occur, with the hopes of in that way AVOIDING the crushing spectacle of another resounding electoral demolition, come 2015, leading again to Buhari's usual flurry of failed and costly lawsuits challenging the electoral wish of Nigeria's now enlightened populace.

In short, an overriding national security imperative must be rigorously applied in the run-up to the 2015 presidential elections RIGHT NOW, such that even the the most euphemistically worded murmur of public incitement that emanates from the Buhari camp should be regarded as the solid basis for IMMEDIATE arrest, followed by indefinite terms of comfortable protective custody as a reward for Buhari and ALL his known criminal associates determined by investigation to have participated at any stage in the commission of that treasonable felony.

If anyone close to the Nobel Laureate reads this forum, I would like to plead that they get in touch with Professor Soyinka and ask him to take a few moments to conduct some informal online research into the wondrous cancer curative properties of extracts from the cannabis plant, which are being researched and widely implemented by the Israeli medical establishment, to save numerous lives. I am dwelling on these new discoveries because of the evident loss of body weight in the above picture of Professor Soyinka, and due to the fact that such weight loss is now comparatively easy to reverse, with medical cannabis therapy.

Regardless of the specific nature of the Professor's cancer, one of the side-effects of chemotherapy, IF he is undergoing that arduous but necessary curative process, is marked decrease in appetite for food, leading to weight loss. By taking up temporary residence in Washington State or California, where the use of medical cannabis is perfectly legal, Professor Soyinka can easily acquire the finest selectively bred medical marijuana available, which he can consume with a vaporizer such as the one shown in the below link. With daily doses self-administered using a medically safe vaporizer, Professor Soyinka's appetite will rebound INSTANTLY.

Once again I appeal to any person fortunate enough to have a direct line of communication with the Nobel Laureate, to PLEASE let him read this post I have submitted here for his personal attention today. Thank you in advance.

http://www.vaporwarerx.com/herbalvaporizerpen.html

Thank you very much for this attempt to defraud the gullible. May I politely suggest that you go ffuck yourself ? Thank you in advance.

Naijasinglegirl:
[size=14pt]
Its no news some Nigerian female nurses are far from polite. Especially those ones with big buttocks that are always roaming from ward to ward with a tray of injections, looking for an innocent patient to stab. [/size]

Fear of the big yansh nursing mama is the beginning of wisdom, for sure. Who no sabi run because of sickness, go run by force.

Here is more photographic evidence that the self-styled UFO hunters are NOT barking up the wrong tree in this forum. Please not that the aliens piloting this particular craft were observed not to be green in color, but WHITE.

In other words, WHITEY is out to get everyone who is obsessed with WHITEY and his plans.


Take cover and run for dear life. WHITEY is coming ha ha ha ha.

For your alertness and lightening speed in removing ALL attempts to mis-inform the readership of your esteemed forum, posted under topics relating to health and life, I make bold to issue three hearty GBOSAAAA's to the main man on the scene - Ogagun Seun Osewa.

Gbosaaaa ! Gbosaaaa ! Gbosaaaa !


Thank you. Normal viewing can now resume ha ha ha.

Happy birthday Mama, and may there be many, many more to come.

You are a living example of the benefits obtainable when people lead active lives, and when they avoid over-indulgence. Baba is smiling down from heaven on this day, and celebrating right along with the rest of us.

Ironically, the terror gang leader and apostle of honesty is and has been all along a kleptomaniac that has looted state treasuries to the tune of BILLIONS of dollars at every opportunity that presented itself.

The popular catch-phrase "Anti-Corruption" is a nice-sounding jingle for adverts, but the homicidal criminal that parrots that phrase the most often just happens to be an unrepentant embezzler, and a serial killer of the innocent who WILL be met with true justice in the fullness of time.

Yes Mama Peace we dey ya back, and no be only we go wakka come.

No Jupiter gop fit carry any Boko Haram candidate put for we head this coming 2015, so far we all know say DIARIZ God ooooooo !


In conclusion, fellow widows, make ALL of una vote for Mama Peace husband, because na only man pikin when get patience well-well, go fit marry Patience, upon how the she dey take bomb scatter English language every day.

In short, make ALL of una wakka come, go vote for the right man when go take cane help Nigeria dey drive Boko boys and dem oga, like fowl when dey try to thief corn wey person spread for sun.