₦airaland Forum

rudedough:
[size=14pt]Because of the accident of geography, that candidate from Imo State who scores 138 points has to watch helplessly as he is unaccepted in the Unity Schools while his friend from Zamfara State who scored 2 points proudly walks into the same Unity Schools.[/size]

What baffles me the most is that this set of incompetent Northerners are the head of federal parastatals and agencies. How can we grow as a Nation when our brothers up North shy away from competition? They opt for quota system formula in education, military recruitment, employment in the civil service and even political appointments. An uneducated child is a danger to himself and those around him. Little wonder boko haram is recruiting them so easily in large numbers.

The mere picture of certified dunces PROUDLY enlisting in schools that deny far brighter students admission is both comical and tragic at the same time ha ha ha ha.

A PROUD DUNCE. Ha ha ha ha ha what a concept. Oh well, we can at least conclude that "Affirmative Action" is STILL in action, across much of darkest Africa EVEN as this glorious year of 2014 winds down to a close.

teekay12:
If you can't convince us with your intelligence, don't confuse us with your ignorance.

In other words, if you are unable to dazzle us with brilliance, kindly refrain from baffling us with bullshitt.

omenka:
I trust NO one amongst them, especially the murderer TB Joshua.

Why are you speaking about our Prophet of Doom, Pastor Jaguda, in such a manner ? I was just about to hand over one million naira cash that I borrowed from a bank at ridiculously high interest, to Pastor Jaguda, so that he can take complete control over the steering wheel of my life, and here you are, DISSING the Man of Dog in such wanton disregard for decorum.

NSNA:
[size=14pt]He has a desperate desire for power[/size] like there is something he needs to do which is why he is always running for President.

Since DESPERATION is now an important quality expected from any future president of Nigeria, I must alert you to the fact that I personally am VERY desperate, by character, and certainly far MORE desperate than Boko Hari, to impose myself as your leader in Nigeria.

I repeat, for the avoidance of doubt that I am EXTREMELY DESPERATE, and serious as a heart attack, in my ambition to win at all costs. Furthermore, I REFUSE to take no for an answer at the polls. The dogs and baboons, which normally find themselves soaked in blood whenever Buhari racks up another election loss, will soon be joined by blood-soaked lizards, snakes, and other dangerous reptiles, if you FAIL to recognize ME as your future president FOR LIFE in Nigeria.

You say you are impressed by desperation ? I wrote the frigging BOOK on desperation, Kimo-Sabi, and you can take that to the bank.

Bassee:
He believes in crying while reading his manifesto just to garner public sympathy and score cheap political points.

But let us be honest, it is not easy to weep while trying to read a manifesto, so we can at least be grateful for that extra effort expended to keep the tears flowing as though from a leaking diaper, even while expounding on how the dogs and baboons will ONLY fight to the death IF Buhari is not allowed to IMPOSE his RULE on his local government area in Dongoyaro Village.

krall:
What does "docked" mean?
They force him to chop duck fowl?

Dem get one wicked dok wey Inyang Ette been dey train for him house since last year. Na "dok" Inyang dey call am for me, so no be say dem-say, I see am koro-koro eye.

Now, wettin me I hear be say when that dok don grow finish, Inyang go cook am sop, come go buy another dok pikin for Abaliliki market, begin dey train that one again, sotaaaay the new dok grow finish, reach to sop for pepper soup like before. That dok meat no dey tire Ette at all. The man no dey take am play. Na me tell you.

Now, as for this case of lawyer when go attack another man fowl. Na police dok go bite am, because police no kukuma like lawyer before, wey e be say any chance wey dem see to punish lawyer well-well, dem go do am witi hapiness. Na him make dem report say dem put that lawyer when kill fowl and broke another man egg all, for "DOK".

This question when you dey ask self, you just take am show say you no sabi law for Nigeria, and you no sabi book.

hoojay4:
Funny bro @ papiwata
pls can you help me with yoruba name for ginseng?

I was wondering myself just the other day, Hooja, while watching the "Appalachian Outlaws" TV show on Discovery Channel, whether one could make money farming ginseng in Nigeria, under the shade of existing tree plantations, but when I researched the subject and learned that ginseng takes over 15 years to mature, and requires a cooler climate than Nigeria's year-round warmth, I quickly concluded there are no gains to be made growing ginseng in Nigeria, or anywhere else in the tropics.

To answer your question, I would be surprised to hear of a "local" name for ginseng in any Nigerian dialect, since it is an exotic plant not found growing wild anywhere in west Africa.

hoojay4:
Thanks at papiwata......am just 19 ...still a virgin

Haba ! A virgin at 19. I fear you o. I no fit do am. Na from age of 16 you for don dey take style dey gain experience with Calabar house-girl.

Anyway, I don pray make God forgive you this time, but try to correct yaself o, and when you do am, wear raincoat.

hoojay4:
Please help me with any natural herb or supplement that can help me...My body is reacting to stress Excessively...I need somthing that can make me calm and give me a sound sleep...
i dont want drugs please....something natural

Exercise is a very effective stress reliever, if you are not one to dabble with medications.

Running, weight lifting, swimming and yes, servicing your girl with carnal knowledge are all highly recommended by Dr. Papiwata on this fine day.

Bassee:
That's if the lawyers haven't been hired already

Ha ha yes, The Weeping General must PREPARE for his assured failure at the election polls, as usual.

ideology:
Hehehe,

Nigerians built a 50, 000 capacity indoor facility without a white man in 12 months, with no column at the center.

No support pillars in the center of a massive cattle shed built to accommodate 50,000 cult followers huh ?

Looks like another "UFO" will soon demolish Pastor Oledepo's cow-sheds in the same way as was done to Pastor Jaguda's slum building that was erected in violation of all building codes. Fear of UFOs is the beginning of wisdom.

No mass murdering terror gang leader will EVER trick the Nigerian electorate to vote him into any office higher than local government sanitary inspector, and that means The Weeping General will soon have yet more reasons to break out wailing and sobbing, and more reasons to launch failed court actions seeking to overturn the will of the people.

Pastor Oledepo and Pastor Jaguda are birds of the same feather, whose stock-in-trade is brain-washing and mass deception for the purpose of monetary gain, with a lucrative sideline assisting embezzling government officials to "holy spirit" their looted cash to the Middle East.

If Pastor Oledepo went out of his way to invite ridicule and condemnation by delivering a series of HOLY SLAPS to "cure" a teenage girl of purported "witch-craft", then without question, Pastor Oledepo is a devout and rabid BELIEVER in the existence of witchcraft, and as such he is NOT welcome in the UK with his hocus pocus brand of personality cult worship.

In other words, the British government has suggested in so many words that Pastor Oledepo can stay the hell in Nigeria, and continue his money laundering activities there, since he is BANNED from landing his luxury jet in the UK, and BANNED from arriving in the UK to perpetuate his brand of fraud.

FFFFFFuck off Pastor Oledepo, and fffuck YOU, is the message from Number 10 Downing Street to you, and to ALL thieving Ebola pastors from Nigeria.

Na Mama Momodu when dey sell pepper soup for inside that bukateria, na she go dey stamp all dem passport, after dem don pay 5-5 naira give am.

AbuMikey:
See Guys analysing Guns and Gun Shot hole sha......

And if dem hear GBOSAAA dem nogo wait to see which kind gun answer so, before dem go begin run like antelope.

tit:
all the morbid anatomists in the house, I hail una.
They are looking for coroners for TB Joshua gust house.
go and determine the cause of death there.

Ha ha A panel of experts can shout all night, and never figure out which one is right.

Although Double Chief OGBENI Alhaji Big Kahoona David Ige may have the appearance of being an ethnic Japanese, his family is well known is his home town of Osogbo, Nigeria, where he was born to 100% pure black African parents, before travelling to Hawaii as a youth, to further his studies.

Mr. David Ige speaks fluent Yoruba, Igbo, Hausa, Japanese and Hawaiian Pidgin English, and he took wives from each of those tribal groups, thus demonstrating that he is a shon of the shoil and a man of the people.

hardbody:
Dead right. All my high contacts said it is only the president that could give me the special permission to carry a pistol of any nomenclature, Colt, barreta, brownie, police special etc....but i am going for pump action that could be cut to size.

You have made a wise choice. For home defense, there is no more powerful a personal weapon to own than a pump shotgun. Just point it in the general direction of the threat, fire as fast as you can work the action, and watch your troubles melt away under a withering firestorm of buckshot pellets.

hardbody:
It is everywhere. I am even negotiating one t

Pump action full 9ja. I am even negotiating one together with the license. Infact i even wanted a brownie but the police is offering a pump action.

You are right, all vigilante groups in Nigeria carry pump action shotguns openly, and far greater numbers are duly licensed for private use, but not shown in public.

The Browning pistol to which you refer above is NOT available to civilians under current Nigerian firearm laws , unless they can produce a special permission document signed by none other than the president of the Nigerian federation. Legally, pistols of ANY sort are ONLY allowed to be carried or kept at home by serving and retired military or law enforcement OFFICERS.

bushdoc9919:
He does not.

His father was of Japanese descent.

Black Africans rarely went to Japan in past times....until the latter half of the twentieth century.

And names do sound similar across cultures....many Plateau people have Chinese sounding names...but are not of Chinese descent.

Ok then. I hereby nominate David Ige to be inducted as an Honorary Nigerian, with all rights and privileges therein applicable.

OmEnT4:
This looks like the work of 9mm, hope you know gaddaffi was killed with 9mm and the pix above there correspond with gadaffi's own.
I have seen the work of shotgun, close target for that matter. A shotgun will disfigure the uppermost part of his head and you can't identify the victim if you know him before and the pix above is a close range shot at the fore head.

If that gaping wound is from a 9mm pistol round, then the shooter must have used hollow-tips that expand dramatically on impact, AND, must have shot the man from BEHIND, such that the picture above shows the EXIT wound, and NOT the finger-sized entry wound.

Having used a shotgun all my life for hunting, I am still convinced that what is pictured above is the result of a close range shotgun blast fired from the front, which would have removed the entire back of the victims skull as the pellets exited through the back of his head, though that damage obviously cannot be seen in this picture. The black gunpowder burns around the victim's eye are also indicative of having been shot from the front, at VERY close range.

barcanista:
Na pump action work be this one

Shotgun blast for sure, right up close and personal.

egift:
Like PapiWatanistan

That has a nice ring to it, but you will still need to pay cash for that application form, if you want to be considered as a prospect for Minister of Information to represent my administration on the global stage.

egift:
1.



I don't support anyone naming Government thing to themselves (past heroes of the state should be honored).

When I am elected President At-Large of The Nigerian Federation, I will IMMEDIATELY rename the entire country after myself, with "istan" appended for phonetic completeness.

egift:
I don't support anyone naming Government thing to themselves (past heroes of the state should be honored).

When I am elected President At-Large of The Nigerian Federation, I will IMMEDIATELY rename the entire country after myself, with "istan" appended for phonetic completeness.

Hats off to the gladiators who ride those fighter jets into battle, knowing that to be shot down could mean the most terrible of fates for captured pilots.

Perhaps for a change, the armchair generals of Nairaland can set aside their over-sabi Panel of Inquiry questioning about just how the missing jet wound up on a river bank, and instead acknowledge with respect and humility those DAILY acts of unflinching heroism performed in the theater of war by ALL who fight to preserve the peace and territorial integrity of the Nigerian federation.

Go Airforce ! You WILL dominate the skies AND all terrain on which this epic clash between the free and the evil is being waged, and with your precise delivery of thundery fires from above, the intensifying rain-storm of enemy blood shall duly irrigate the parched African soil so that once again PEACE can sprout, thrive and blossom all across the troubled, strife-torn land called Nigeria.

The "benefits" of smoking cigarettes are as follows.

1. Tobacco burning shows the smoker to be someone reckless with their own health, and with the health of all who try to breathe in their vicinity.

2. Cigarettes greatly diminish the physical strength of the smoker, such that they may collapse and die from heart failure if forced to flee on foot in an emergency.

3. Cigarette smoking shows the addict to be a confused, fearful and insecure individual who gropes for that packet of nicotine at the slightest sign of stress.

4. Cigarettes and all other tobacco derivatives cause kill users in particularly gruesome ways, rotting their lungs and hearts with each inhalation.

5. Cigarette smokers poison children and all other non-smokers by FORCING them to breathe in a smell that they find nauseating and choking, but which also inflicts serious medical damage over time, due to a phenomenon known as "passive smoking", which occurs when a non-smoker involuntarily breathes air that is polluted with toxic and highly carcinogenic tobacco fumes.

7. In its pure, refined liquid form, NICOTINE is a DEADLY poison of which a tiny drop will kill several adult men quickly, so it is no surprise that cigarettes, which are DESIGNED to dose users with NICOTINE SMOKE, kill millions of addicts, and innocent members of their households, annually.

contactlenz:
A female flat mate is urgently needed at a 3-bedroom flat in Obiwale, Eleyele, Ibadan. The flat has running water with reservoir, tiled floor, wardrobe, nice looking toilet and bathroom and wardrobe. The house rent is 70, 000 naira only. Contact me via 08080001860

Since you did not specify the species of female flat-mate that you seek, I am looking for a place to house my harem of female goats.

Despite expressing many valid points about Africa's historical struggles, and about the perceived underdog status of the black race in much of the West, there exists in Mr. Ernest Owen's narrative an undercurrent of subdued hostility to "The Man", as authority figures are known in black American street parlance, and devolving from that resentment is a general sense of cultural alienation that STILL pervades much of black America, stifling creativity, drive and that all-important perseverance to excel against ALL odds, both real and imaginary.

That almost masochistic reluctance, to just let go of the need to assign blame for the sins of past generations, is the sentiment that MUST now be given a respectful burial, in the beautiful light of this new dawn when the world witnessed the epic rise of a black African immigrant's son to America, Mr. Barac Obama, towards the rarefied pinnacle of political power, serving his first and second terms of elected office as the President and Commander in Chief of the most powerful, and arguably THE greatest nation on this green planet.

It is time for Black America to stop blaming "The Man", now that The Main Man carries in his every fiber DNA sequences originating directly from Mother Africa, where that noble Kenyan lineage was never, in any fleeting moment of contemplative weakness, regarded as an obstacle to the attainment of dreams that were downright ILLEGAL to hold and pursue just ONE generation prior to the current one.


Regarding the rose-tinted glasses through which African Americans view most interactions with "brother and sister" Africans met during holiday tourist visits to the continent of Africa, it suffices to note that the almost universally positive impressions expressed by Mr. Ernest Owens about locals he encountered during a TEN DAY visit to Ghana, are based on assumptions that most likely would not stand the test of time, were the African American visitor to remain as a working immigrant in Africa for a longer duration of time beyond the brief few weeks of well-funded holiday jaunts.

This is Charles Darwin's natural selection at its most brutally efficient. All those bung-holers will be dead in a year from now.

Long nails may be fashionable for women, but any males that choose to grow long fingernails will, in doing so, advertise themselves to be certified bush-men and savages who simply have NO idea how revolting and mentally disturbed the careful cultivation of such talons shows them to be.

One thing is for damn sure, and that is that NO man wearing such ridiculously long claws will EVER be hired into any job that pays better than a toilet cleaning gig, anywhere in the West. It is only in the darkest, most unenlightened recesses of primitive Africa where men can cultivate fingernails that make their hands to look like the nasty claws of a burrowing rodent, without incurring justified ridicule and scorn wherever they are spotted in that sorry state.

Mogidi:
Your effort at image laundry falls flat, Buhari can go rule you in Sokoto.

Ha ha ha, but ONLY in Sokoto, and NOT anywhere else.