₦airaland Forum

@op
Define handsome please.I see you based your conclusion on 3 things.

skincolour
Dressing
ok the last bit I dont understand at all.

See everybody has their own taste. I for instance prefer black cz am not.
Now clothing is just general appearance. Yes it matters if you look presentable but it doesn't change your original looks. Its just something to work on in less than a day.

Finally sexkillz and pweety I believe C is handsome.I have checked the profile after reading your comments. Or does spects make one less handsome? seriously??
That is a manly face not a sissy

^^First the op is r321 aka Nkechi the dude .This is somebody's else story hes posted here.

Now to answer you, the condition has  a variety of causes, often in response to a combination of physical or emotional factors.


@3direct.I am still trying to understand your gender but this is what happens when you attempt intercourse.

https://www.vaginismus.com/wp-content/img/diagram.gif

phew finally!!!

I was about to ask WHO THE HAGUE ARE YOU??

I have been reading your '3rd leg advert threads' with suspicion.Was just waiting for somebody to burst your bubble.


Thnk you.

OP

I have had to post this becz many guys have no clue that Vaginismus is a medical condition requiring therapy. I mean lets stop being ignorant at times cz u may encounter one in your life.

Vaginismus is womanly tightness causing discomfort, burning, pain, penetration problems, or complete inability to have intercourse. The womanly tightness results from the involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor (especially the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group), although the woman may not be aware that this is the cause of her penetration or pain difficulties.

Primary Vaginismus

When a woman has never at any time been able to have pain-free intercourse due to vaginismus tightness, her condition is known as primary vaginismus.

Primary vaginismus refers to the experience of vaginismus with 'first-time' intercourse attempts. Typically, primary vaginismus will be discovered when a woman attempts to Be Intimate for the very first time. The spouse/partner is unable to achieve penetration and it is like he just bumps into a 'wall' where there should be the opening to the womanliness. Entry is impossible or extremely difficult. Primary vaginismus is the common cause of sexless, unconsummated marriages. Some women with primary vaginismus will also experience problems with tampon insertion or gynecological exams. The PC muscles constrict and tighten the womanly opening making it uncomfortable or in many cases virtually impossible to have entry. When tightened, attempts to insert anything into the womanliness produce pain or discomfort.

Some women also experience related spasms in other body muscle groups or even halted breathing. Generally, when the attempt to put something in the womanliness has ended, the muscles relax and return to normal. For this reason, medical examinations often fail to reveal any apparent problems unless the tightness occurs and is noted during the pelvic exam.

Vaginismus is involuntary - not intentional

It is important to note that vaginismus is not triggered deliberately or intentionally by women. It happens involuntarily without their intentional control and often without any awareness on their part. Vaginismus has a variety of causes, often in response to a combination of physical or emotional factors. The mystery of the problem can be very frustrating and distressing for both women and their partners. Despite the fact that vaginismus is involuntary and can strike any woman, many women feel intense shame from being unable to have intercourse and keep their pain private, feeling uncomfortable sharing their secret with anyone.

Common symptoms of vaginismus

        -Burning or stinging with tightness during sex
        -Difficult or impossible penetration, entry pain, uncomfortable insertion of joystick
        -Unconsummated marriage
        -Ongoing intimate discomfort or pain following childbirth, yeast/urinary infections, STDs,             -hysterectomy, cancer and surgeries, violation, menopause, or other issues
        -Ongoing intimate pain of unknown origin, with no apparent cause
        -Difficulty inserting tampons or undergoing a pelvic/gynecological exam
        -Spasms in other body muscle groups (legs, lower back, etc.) and/or halted breathing           
        -Avoidance of sex due to pain and/or failure[/left]

Can Vaginismus be Treated?

Vaginismus can be treated . The treatment most often used is an extensive therapy program that combines education and counseling with behavioral exercises. Exercises include pelvic floor muscle contraction and relaxation (Kegel exercises) to improve voluntary control.

womanly dilation exercises are recommended using plastic dilators. This should be done under the direction of a sex therapist or other health care provider and treatment should involve the partner.

Educational treatment, including information about intimate anatomy, physiology, the intimate response cycle, and common myths about sex, should be provided as well

womanly tightness & the role of pelvic floor muscles

Female intimate pain and penetration difficulties typically involve some degree of involuntary tightening of the pelvic floor. This step focuses on the role of pelvic floor muscles, especially the pubococcygeus (PC) muscle group, explaining in great detail how once they are triggered they continue to cause involuntary tightness with attempts at intercourse. Effective vaginismus treatment focuses on retraining the pelvic floor to eliminate involuntary muscle reactions that produce tightness or pain. Learning how to identify, selectively control, exercise and retrain the pelvic muscles to reduce pain and alleviate penetration tightness and difficulties is an important step in vaginismus treatment.

Insertion techniques

For women with penetration difficulties or pain, techniques must be learned to allow initial entry without pain. In this step, women practice pubococcygeus (PC) muscle control techniques as they allow the entry of a small object (cotton swab, tampon, or finger) into their womanliness, working completely under their control and pace. Any involuntary muscle contractions that had previously closed the entrance to the womanliness and prevented penetration are overridden. Women begin to take full control over their pelvic floor and learn how to flex and relax the pelvic floor at will, eliminating unwanted tightness and allowing entry.

Using dilators

Note that womanly dilators are typically not effective when used without guidance. They should not be used without proper physical instruction, exercises, transitional steps, etc. Dilators are simply one aspect of the vaginismus treatment process, and if used without pelvic control techniques they will likely be very ineffective. Involuntary muscle reactions are what produces the tightness and pain of vaginismus. The main focus of proper dilator use is in retraining the pelvic floor, not on stretching the womanly opening.

Graduated womanly insertions

When used properly, womanly dilators are effective tools to further help eliminate pelvic tightness due to vaginismus. Dilators provide a substitute means to trigger pelvic muscle reactions. The effective dilator exercises in Step 6 teach women how to override involuntary contractions, relaxing the pelvic floor so it responds correctly to intimate penetration. Graduated womanly insertion exercises allow women to comfortably transition to the stage where they are ready for intercourse without pain or discomfort.

Sensate focus & techniques for couples to reduce pelvic floor tension

Helping with the transition to pain-free intercourse, this step explains sensate focus techniques for couples to use to reduce pelvic floor tension and increase intimacy. Couples begin to work together during this step as exercises teach how to successfully practice sensate focus (controlled sensual touch) and prepare for pain-free intercourse using techniques from earlier steps. The exercises are designed to build trust and understanding and assist in the process to adjust to controlled intercourse without pain.

Pre-intercourse readiness exercises

Couples review and practice techniques that eliminate pelvic floor tension and prepare to transition to full intercourse. Preparing ahead of time to be able to manage, control and eliminate pain or penetration difficulties, the exercises assist with the final transition to pain-free intercourse.


The final step toward overcoming vaginismus includes joystick entry with movement and freedom from any pain or tightness.exercises are designed to educate, build intimate trust and intimacy, and complete the transition to full intimate intercourse free of pain. Couples can begin to enjoy pleasure with intercourse, initiate family planning, and move forward to live life free from vaginismus.

Correction.The word 'helper' does not mean cooking,washing and giving birth.  These are by the ways.

GOD COMMANDS A WOMAN TO WORK AND PROVIDE FOR HER FAMILY

Who are we to dispute that? Read below what He expects of a woman.Nothing short of this!
For heavens sake only people with inferiority/superiority complexes try to place unnecessary burdens other people. 

Proverbs 31:10-31

All the days of her life.She seeks wool and flax,And willingly works with her hands.

She is like the merchant ships, She brings her food from afar.

She also rises while it is yet night, And provides food for her household And a portion for her maidservants.

She considers a field and buys it,From the profits she plants a vineyard.

She girds herself with strength,and strengthens her arms.

She perceives that her merchandise is good,

And her lamp does not go out by night.

She stretches out her hands to the distaff And her hand holds the spindle.

If my man brings from the West I bring from the East.Fullstop.

Oh the hair would. definately.
I think you need a thread. like that one you mentioned.LOL you will read the replies.
Am not liking this friday.Its dragging!

Your profile pic nayah!!
WOW!! You look gorgeous and the DRESS and the HAIR lol. Thts gonna be my next hair style t
I love the african wear. It looks soo good on you.Lemmie guess.Is it dress down friday?
I know cz I at times drop all those formal suits on friday and go African or casual

I get dumbfounded at times.
Everyone comes out to defend his claims.But you know what? that is what makes the forum interesting.
The fights,the make-up,the insults everything. When you start dissecting a topic and analysing too deep it loses its message.
When you post, remeber people interpret it the way they want.The scientist wants evidence,the mathematician wants the statistics,the artists see the colour of the post, the font size and will make issue on why ur using purple and not black.
Some of us try to wear the op shoes and get all emotional and personal to the point of insulting.
I love all the madness so dont fret.

My question to the rich dude is this.

WHO ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED TO?and WHY ARE YOU GETTING MARRIED?

Where is your mind fixed that you are harbouring all these fears and worries?

It is not a must for one to marry.But understand this ,its important to have a stable family, one in which your kids can grow in and enjoy your wealth.

You may on other hand choose to scatter your wealth and seed from North to South pole simply because you do not want to feel 'attached'
Just remember this.Age will catch up with you plus there are several other rich dudes in the market eager to give you competition so you may not be that 'physically valuable after some few years.'(Ok ul definately land yourself some golddigger one day as you age.)

Marriage is not licence to happiness so if you are a miserable, disgruntled irresponsible, rich dude then you will make a very pathetic hubby so my advise would be stay off.

You will not die if you do not marry and neither will you die if you did. Fear is always something to be conquered and many who achieve greater heights have conquered fear.
cheers

Is it that thread that suffered 3rd NL war? where everybody came out with guns blazing?
It got soo hot all I could do was watch from the sidelines.
The reason I was helpless was cz I was an 'outcast' if you understand wht I mean.There was no way I could defend any of my claims, if I had no facts on what was happening there.
You had psyche!!

Wisdom will dictate.

Yeah I know my bible says 'confess your sins one to another so that your heavenly Father may forgive you'

But a well intentioned confession may turn out to be your greatest nightmare.You may regret why you did it in the first place because human beings are not God.
We just don't forgive and forget that easy.

The answer is both Yes and No depending on the gravity of the issue at hand .

Just be ready for the consequences either way and allow wisdom to reign.

Hey Nayah
Good morning.

Op yes you are not good cz you thought using your 3rd leg.

HOWEVER!

This lady though bow legged(which is not a disability) is mentally and emotionally sound.
In other words shes normal like any other gal.

Both of you are, well should I say bad? YES.
I mean Being Intimate the first day with a dude you just met on fb? Thats desperation. What do u expect when you leave a man and woman alone in the same room?If she dint want sex she would not have invited him into her ROOM where she stays ALONE. The environment was perfect and set for sex.

It tells me she suffers from low self esteem cz of her legs and the dude was there to boost her self esteem. sad though.

Both had ill motives and put sex first before they had even stabilised the relationship.[/color]

^^^ what is?
I enjoyed reading till I came to the sugar mummy bit.
Am out.

you look too mature to ask such a question!
The question[b] 'do you think am a bad person'? [/b]disgusts me more than the story.

I feel like I just landed in Afghanistan
A lot going on here.
In transit.

@ suicidal letters

But when the spinster is alone she will pay her bills,fix her gadgets do everything around the house. she becomes an electrician,plumber,mechanic everything.

Now if I get a man in my life I dont expect to go on fixing gadgets and getting electric shocks in the process.

A woman is symbolical. When you see her you see nurturing,warmth ,food (lol) but true and all the other nice things.

Its something you cannot brush off. That why when the lady come into a bachelors life he changes to accomodate her.

Its a case of balance Nayah.

Have you ever heard that you can take a man out of the village but not take the village out of the man?

It happens when you see people relieving themselves by the roadside or cooking using firewood in a city apartment.

I think it also depends on the individuals otherwise it can cause conflict and later the 2 famous words 'irreconciliable difffrences.'

Hey OP

I f someone you love hurts you,cry yourself a river,build yourself a bridge and get over it!.

You are lonely because you have built a wall instead of a bridge. Never be sad for what is over.Just be glad that it was once yours.

Now stop staring at that closed door and see the one opening right infront of you.

But you will not see clearly till you wipe those tears pick urself up and move.

it happens to some if not all of us.

@james my grandkid,

Develop a reading culture and stop loving shorthand.

I love thorough posts which capture the story very well.

Ok now I agree with you Nayah

You got a good point there.Things have changed and there's no law.We adjust to fit in with the lifestyle.

Some traditions have no space in our modern way of living. They work best in the village.

If you go to Rome you do as they do.

Nayah I agree with JB.

Its good to know where tradition stops and where reality starts.

@ James
Realise that ppl are diffrent very diffrent. Unless I do shorthand on nl.
But the answer is directed at the op you know so if he asked a question he should be willing to read blogs  or shorthand
variety makes nl just dont be lazy to read.

imaginary friends, imaginary enemies,imaginary ghosts,imaginary fights,imaginary handles,imaginary belief sytems, imaginary love,imaginary sex and IMAGINARY THREADS!!
Its indeed foster's home.

LOL Nayah

Its against African Traditions to ask a man to cook !

His work is to sit on the couch and wait for food!! till he acquires a pot belly

Today its microwaved food. We eat radiation!

The cameroonian beauty is natural and elegant. The tz dress? no no. she looks pretty though.

I love african beauty

^^ [b]You have not met people that have suffered major heartbreaks.[/b]That's why I tell you to stop whining about nothing.
See there are people that love pity parties and no amount of encouragement can change them.
If you are the kind then am sorry.You are 29! grownup am sure you can handle that so get over it since it didn't kill you.
But if you choose to sit there in that cave and moan forever that's your choice.
Maybe your eyes will open when you discover your agemates are married with kids
Get yourself UP! and give that broken heart to God.He knows how to mend it well. Do not assume that a miracle will catapult you from your current position.
Go out there and meet people and change your song. Is all have to say to you.

You guys are just crazy. all gone bananas.