₦airaland Forum

wallg123:
For those of you who think beating is a good means of correction.
If an adult/ teenager offend you on your way to work this morning on the train/ tube or bus. You should bring out your cain or used stick to hit/ smack them for offending you ? ...
if you can’t beat/ smack an adult even when they offend you then you have no business beating a defenceless child

Gbam!! You took those words from my mouth.

payloader:
There are better ways to bring up your children than beating them every time they err. I personally don't like corporal punishment for kids, especially the type our moms, and sometimes our dads, meted out to us when we were kids. There are cases where kids have lost their lives, or seriously maimed for the rest of their lives, by punishments meted out by crazy parents. And these parents hardly bond with their kids. The only discussion you see them engaging their kids with is "go and buy this, or that, for me," or "come and eat", or "why did you do this, or that?" which invariably invites a trashing session. A kid usually grows into a good adult based on the ethics drilled into his psyche from childhood, by especially, the father. Many parents have failed in this regard. They hardly sit and discuss life matters with their children, most especially, the corporate ones, who are hardly at home, and hand over the care of their kids to house helps and school minders. I strongly recomend the scrapping of corporal punishments as means of correction in our country. There are much better methods of punishing a child for wrongdoings, and have you bothered having a talk with him/her, over their short-comings? When the Bible says, "Spare the rod, and spoil the child", it doesn't necessarily mean the cane. The rod, in scriptures, is always alluded to words. Most parents simply don't talk to their kids, except on basic issues.

You have said it all. Thank you

nairavsdollars:
One of the dangers of raising kids abroad and the yeye man is blaming his cultural upbringing here in Nigeria

Yes he is right like I’ve said on a different thread most Nigerian parents physically abuse their kids and call it discipline. The kids end up damaged. Most adults in Nigeria can’t own up to the truth because of the trauma they received from their parents as kids. Lying is second nature to them. Most Nigerians are damaged and the sad truth is that they don’t know it and think that they are ok. Look are the state of the country that will tell you what Nigerian parents have bred, Timid kids who are scared to tell the truth and afraid to talk to their parents. Violence is the norm in Nigeria.

Inkredible:
Disclaimer: I don’t have a kid yet. This is just my experience.

On the issue of spanking.

Kid’s will grow up and turn out how they’re destined to turn out. Whopped or not. No region has the monopoly to dredges in the community. This is sorely dependent on the environment. The poorer the society, the more crimes it breeds. If you like flog fire.

I was opportune to grow up in a yard. So I’ve seen first class what it effects are.
Papa KC is always quick to anger, so KC always got legendary whoop a***s. He developed a tough hind after years. So, it was natural he fought his father during one of those sessions. KC was a good kid, he just needed patience and understanding.

Me on the other hand, I never forgot my first WhoopA... my crime, I came 20 out of 39 one term like that. Let’s just say I’m always top five the rest of my academic life. However I was bugging that term. For some reason I felt and believed all my classmates were smarter and I couldn’t compete. I hated maths. I knew I needed something to pull me out that rot or tell me otherwise. My mum’s “agña” sure provided it.

Pops is not a fan of WA. He’ll rather have The Talk with you than lay his hands on you. I hated the talk. I never made the same mistake again after The Talk. Mum on the other side loves her assorted whoop weapons.

In summary, the two is essential to moulding a child’s behaviour from that young age. Above all, knowledge is key. Why you did something that was unacceptable and the impact it had on people around you. “Is this what you want your junior ones to copy” “this family has a reputation. Don’t drag it through the mud” etc etc etc.

We also had roles and responsibilities as kids. No one renegades on theirs. From head to last born. We understood responsibility and owning up to one’s shortfalls and asking for help were we struggling.

Also, we only ever get to see our parents morning before they left for work and at night when they returned. Then weekends some.

So the eldest done the cooking, someone done the laundry, another cleaned the house and last born washed plates.

We weren’t saints as kid’s but we turned out fine cause we knew to always think things through.


If I decide to have kids, I’ll whoop them, have the talk with them and keep them very busy and engaged. That’s the formula I hope to adopt.

Thanks for reading

You are right to some extent. My dad never beat me and maybe once or twice in my life I got a whoop with my mum’s wooden spoon. Generally my parents talked to me when I got out of line and I felt so bad when I disappointed them. That disappointed look was enough for me and I understand that it doesn’t work for all kids.
Violently beating up a kid until you bruise them is not discipline, like you said some of those kid’s end up fighting their parents when to grow up and resentment sets in in some cases. There are so many ways by taking away what they cherish e.g tv, games, playing with friends, gifts , naughty steps. Parents that beat their kids have no patience and have a problem themselves.

famzynet:
I disagree with you. Spare the rod and spoil the child said the wisest man that ever lived. As a child,I received correct flogging. It shaped me into whom I am today. I see better behaved children in Nigeria than in the UK.

Really ? Is that why most young adults are pathological liars can never own up to the truth? You call that well behaved? Ok no problem

https://www.facebook.com/100006368200168/posts/2805624972993082/


This case has been taken up by the human activist
Comrade Emmanuel Agbogun.

Aphrodite007:
Yeah I support you, was just messing around. It normalises violence in the kids eyes, rather than just communicating. That’s why lots of Nigerians struggle to communicate, own up to wrong doings and apologise.

But I’ll beat mine once a year. I have to put the fear of God in it

prince2pac:
Yeah you are right, there was a time I was looking after a dog and a cat for one man like that, they were a relief for my pain, most especially the cat, it feels my emotions. but I don't have anyone now

Try if you can it will help. I’ve always had pets. At the moment I’ve got a Cat and she is a source of joy for the family. Animals can feel your emotion even without saying anything.
Have you tried talking to someone about what you are going through? I hope you get well soon.

gopel8052:
Discipline is good but shouldn't be excessive.

I remember stealing money to buy a whole box of sweets at age 7 , it was the beatings that re structured my thinking , otherwise I wouldn't i have known it was bad, plus I could have turned it into a habit if it wasn't for the help of the quick correction.

That’s exactly what I am talking about it’s not okay to hit , A lot of Nigerian kids are so timid and they end up not able to look people in the eye. it’s child abuse. Now you think that beating is okay. All I’m saying is that if you bring up your children here the way Nigerian parents do you will end up causing everlasting damage. There are many ways to discipline a kid that doesn’t involve beating.
Kids are very curious and they ask a lot of questions, sit down and talk to them instead of giving them the brush off.

Aphrodite007:
My parents solved my problem with “beating”

I was hoping you will say that. A lot of Nigerian adults say that also.

But look around you, look at the country, why do men beat their wives and people think it’s alright, violence is seen as the norm. A lot of parents damaged their kids all in the name of discipline. Most of the adults in Nigeria today have been damaged by their parents and the saddest thing is that they do not know it. They carry on that same mentality to bring up their kids and the circle continues

More pictures of the damage

Damage of oil palm plantation caused by the bulldozers

prince2pac:
my profile pics is the reality, it's there on my WhatsApp too, everyone have had their own share of opinion, I'm not that strong person emotionally, I don't know how to put it, but it's a dream that will come through.

Maybe you should get yourself a pet, then you will have something to look forward to and appreciate the simple things in live that are free. Having pet gives you joy and inner contentment.

LagosismyHome:
https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-9156551/Consultant-anaesthetist-struck-beating-10-year-old-son-gets-NHS-job-back.html

To be a parent no easy ooo because some children no dey hear word. However we must all learn to discipline with moderation and learn from others mistake . Hence I shared the link above

Beating a child doesn’t solve the solution all it’s doing is just encouraging violence.

A resident of Ogba Mr Charles Idahosa has cried out to the govt because his acres of oil plantation was bulldozed and taken over by armed men. All his workers were driven out. This damage was done by the same person the head of the village known as the enogie who sold the land to his father. Why do authorities sit back and do nothing.

See video below for more details

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=10222177284794842&id=1045699610

Happy New Year everyone

This is a lovely thread, in mist of all the bad news going on around the world and the Nigerians that are killing and eating anything that moves. Thanks Op for looking after Mira. It’s very very relaxing and therapeutic to have pets. I love pets. Well done Op. I wish there were more Nigerians like you.

You should challenge yourself by learning a new craft which will earn you money. You will be surprised

Chreze:
Greetings and sure we having a great weekend.

Please can anyone suggest where I can buy good quality baby clothes (2yrs upward) at good prices in Glasgow. By good price I mean, something of the Zara budget or less. But the important part is the quality. A quality like Tommy. Lol

Then good Jean for adult (male and female)

Thanks.

Try Marks and Spencer’s

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ4Yhz0DwMw

Use your lockdown time to learn a new hobby

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eJ4Yhz0DwMw

Op you could have covered for your BF by saying you asked him not to bother. It’s a bit embarrassing for your mum to be expecting something from a stranger. Instead she should.have chatted with him more to get to know him more. Your BF sounds like a decent guy.

I will be running a free Zoom workshop on leather for beginners for those interested make your comments on my YouTube channel.

Op has just planted the seed of distrust into his marriage. Good luck with the outcome.

Really?!!

wonlasewonimi:
some even flush after taking dumps.

Whao! You have seen a lot in your time.

dustydee:
Talking about neighbours and Sh*t, does anyone have an idea how to stop cats from coming to your garden?
I bought an ultrasound thing to scare them but it doesn't. I have recently bought citronella and cat silhouette but it does not seem to be too effective. I do not have a cat yet I have to clean cat poop, is that fair?

I love cats because they don’t dirty where they stay. They keep it tidy. They go and do their business somewhere else

Yes

Happy New Year everyone
Leather pin cushion

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Buying and selling designers wears