₦airaland Forum

yemmit90:
No need to reply children of 2000s who know next to nothing than what dubious politicians feed them.

Some of them don't even know there was a time fuel scarcity and black market will linger for months withiout anyone doing anything about it. Did they even know how often universities were once been shut down for frivolous reasons.

At least we are criticising and cursing the government in democracy, do they know you can't do the same publicly during military era withiout getting killed or stylishly jail.

naptu2:
Then how come there was Abacha toxic petrol? Or don't you remember that??

1997 when the Abacha Regime imported toxic petrol that damaged many cars.

Sannisege:
Abacha’s son imported adulterated fuel that destroyed many lives and property. I also remember Abacha stove with sawdust when millions of Nigerians could no longer afford kerosene. May we never experience such again in Nigeria. Therefore the OP should grow up.

You guys are exaggerating. The truth is that Nigeria of 1997 was far, far better than Nigeria of today.
The bad-fuel thing was a short one-time mistake.
In China and Russia you dare not criticise the government, and Putin's corruption is legendary, but Nigerians would happily japa there if they could

jogojogo:
Otilo...HE don happen
Ebe like say them wan to tell us another story again o
Una go sing tire

Correction: otilo means e don go

Democracy is not for every nation. Some nations need a no-nonsense authoritarian visionary to set things right. Where you have corruption rampant including judiciary and INEC, as is the case with Naija, democracy doesn't work!
China and Russia no dey do democracy, and Putin's corruption is legendary, but Nigerians would happily japa those places if they could!

sheriffindy:
sorry...but i´m not sorry

Just think, if these women had just had the courage to tell their society "SCREW YOU!", they would still have their perfect mouths!

anochuko01:
Reaching compromise to sustain relationships, friendships, family, job, business etc isn't a ME thing, it's a WORLD thing.

I don't know how else someone who desires to be in a relationship should perceive the world if they're never willing to compromise.

But I get you sha, every single person should make whatever choices they want and bare the consequences. Nice 🙂

Bottom line: we all live in different worlds though we are all physically in the same world. The big fundamental flaw in human reasoning is that we always assume it a FACT that we all experience life/reality the same way

anochuko01:
You've simply just summarized what I pointed out as the mistake or character flaw of the OP. The same character I have admitted to be a victim of and trying to overcome.

She was judging everyone in the light of her very religious upbringing.

And that was why I mentioned that with a willing partner, adjustments and a rewarding compromise can be made by both parties.

From her story...

Did some of the men fumble? Yes
Were they ready to adjust? Yes
Did she give them a second or even third chance? No
When she saw her equally very religious person, she still ran due to stinginess.

Remember I quoted you because you said she's better off being single than being with someone she couldn't stand. But if you read her story again through the lens of what you just wrote, it'll be clearer that she made many mistakes.

Every thriving marriage is so because both parties have chosen to keep unlearning and relearning.

You still exhibit that fundamental flaw in human reasoning - you assume she perceives the world same way you do. You can say what's best for YOU. You can't say what's best for her!
I said it's better to be alone than be with someone you can barely tolerate. I never said that's what SHE should do

anochuko01:
Something I've learnt recently is that no man or woman marries a perfect partner.

In fact, when you realize that you're not perfect as a person, you'll learn how to give others second, third, fourth and fifth chance.

Even if Jesus had asked this OP out, she would have broken up with him if she caught him talking to another woman.

No second chance, no forgiveness! Please, how do you even want to have a good marriage with such character?

I'm pretty sure all those people she accused of cheating later got married and are still married. So, did they change? Did they stop cheating? Or they happened to find someone who understands that we're all humans who are capable of making mistakes.

I'm 30 and I've not been in a relationship in about 12 years, so I was very well like the OP. I use to lose interest in ladies over little character I don't like, but how long will I keep doing that when I can simply teach a lady the right things to do.

These are things I've learnt recently and putting to practice. So, as long as a man or woman are willing to learn and change, why not give them the opportunity to change? At least give enough chance until they've proven that they've changed.

I hope many younger ladies and guys learn early to avoid cases like this.

Jewessgratitud3

Good write-up, however it still exhibits the one fundamental flaw in human reasoning - the tendency to assume that everyone else experiences life/reality exactly the same way we do. Infact it seems impossible to us that everyone else does not experience life the way we do. Example, if we can't stand being alone for 5 minutes, it seems impossible to us that there are people who honesyly actually treasure being alone. So also there are people whom "God" speaks to regularly, people who "see" and "hear" things differently, etc.
My point, in short, is that people should speak for themselves and not assume that, just because something applies to them it must apply to everyone else!

Liposure:
are you anti marriage

No, I'm anti generations like "to be alone is not good", as the guy put it. He ought speak for himself. Also, marriage, children, even relationships are not for everybody

Samcent:
I commend the op's courage but what she's looking for does not exist.

Yes, there's a right person but there's no perfect person. However, she is looking for a perfect man.

There's no way, that of all the suitors that have approach her in the past, not one of them is good enough for marriage.

It's not a must to get married and it's not a must to have children. But to be alone is not good.

I wish her the best of life.

Well, you happen to be wrong. You assume the way you experience life is how every one else experiences it. Just because one is not married does not mean one is alone. Also, for your information, some people actually enjoy being "alone". Everyone is not the same. So people should stop assuming that everyone is just ike them!

ednut1:
Still picky at 42. Smh

Better than being with someone you can barely stand

Jewessgratitud3:
Na today? Trolling got nothing on me. My dear, forget. Nothing wey ears never hear before.

You are an outlaw, a free spirit. I like that.
We don't have enough people who tell society and their ridiculous impositions: "SCREW YOU!"

byteem:
See brain massive IQ on u .. ur reasoning is another level .. chilai see brain ..

It really doesn't take much IQ to see it at all. Even if Obi had run with Atiku, he could possibly still have won because people vote top of the ticket. People would have seen it as Tinubu vs. Atiku, and Atiku wouldn't have automatically received the votes Obi received

Davinity:
Get out of my mention with your low IQ

Low IQ is as low IQ does. You still didn't answer my sincere question

mannobi:
Ipob region will dislike this news. They any good news about the country but want to rule the too. It's absolutely impossible

Don't be so sure it's impossible. If they produce an Igbo moslem as candidate...

Ikaeniyan0:
This is not the best time to buy dollar and keep at home

Actually it is. Only Tinubu can do something and I don't see him doing anything as he is beholden to the West

Davinity:
If you meet a slightly educated Moslem from yoruba, sorry you've met a foolish person... Like their stupidity on social media is nauseating... We know as we dey handle dem for area na... Talk rubbish collect drills with scrubbing

Sorry, you lost me. What has this to do with the topic

He won the election. He is a crook but he actually won the election.
His being a moderate moslem from SW sealed the deal. Just as if Obi were an Igbo moslem he'd have won too

AllDModsAreMaad:
The probability of making money with this crypto is lesser than you losing money with crypto.

abhosts:
There is a higher likelihood that you would lose money with crypto than make money.

Stay away from crypto.

But if you combine it with a little Yahoo then probability will probabilitize!

elonize:
na 1 app wen u dey use send money n receive money..in dollars n naira

Thanks. Will try it

Reminderz:
another brilliant post... and those quoting, always read to understand not to attack or reply or trying to prove intelligence.. most of what you guys are saying are all included in the initial post.. you just clarified it further...

sometimes you just have to read, dissect or ignore...

Why not take your own advice - read, dissect, or ignore, instead of wasting a post telling others what to do

CaveAdullam:
Fear isn't the basis of human behavior. Survival and longevity are.

That's why there are tonnes of innovations, inventions, and discoveries. To make life easier and better.

Of course, they experience threat along the way, and threat creates fear. These fears are leveraged by coming up with the latest development. Fear can't be ruled out of the equation, however.

Your account of giving motivated by fear lies on this fact: "If I don't give, they may hurt me".

Hence the OP made mention of "tactical giving" which is aimed at buying loyalty.

The fear you mention is still accounted for when a man is interested in gaining power and control or not being seen as an ev!l person and getting attacked which necessitates works of charity as already discussed by the OP.

Since he's afraid of losing the attention of the people which may drive them to other opponents, he is required to give to stay relevant and announced by the mouths of those he has fed. If he doesn't want to be accused of being dominant, he does acts of charity.

On a leveled surface, humans are altruistic. There's first love for kin which extends to those genetically far off. Fear isn't the basis of this altruism. But for the greater good and survival of the human species. Although, in rough and tough times, humans show their cruel side.

Thanks.

Much of giving is motivated either by what the giver may get for giving, or by what he may lose for not giving, or what may happen to him if he doesn't give.
LOVE is a more pleasant motivator, but the truth is that much of human behavior is motivated by FEAR

Carcholce:
Survival and longevity equals fear. Fear of cold weather is why sweater was invented. That’s survival.

Fear of wild animals is why hunting objects were invented.

When I read that I was surprised he couldn't see it

Carcholce:
Well said. You are highly intelligent!

It also does explain losing grip on the receiver when each points is broken down.

Thanks. Rather obvious though

TANID:
don't Quote what You Don't Know about Others religion.

I'm not quoting anything. I am citing what real-life Muslims practice

Carcholce:
Interesting.

Did you mean fear of losing grip on the receiver?

Nope. Fear as in, if I don't give him he might do something TO me, or NOT do something FOR me, or not like me, or dis-repute me in some way. Examples, if you don't give to the church you won't go to heaven, if you don't give to your wife she'd tell people, if you don't give in an event people will think you're broke, if you don't give a person he may no longer like you, you give to a powerful person to be in their good graces (though it is camouflaged as love), you give to a bully so he won't face you, you give to your family so people won't talk, etc. There are a thousand examples, all camouflaged as altruism, love, and generosity when it is actually self-interest and fear

Chimarto:
If all mystical powers in Africa can be harmonise Africa will be most advanced continent on earth

You mean if they're really magical powers and not tricks of some sort

That's the law in Islam. Death is the penalty for converting from Islam to any other religion.
What a religion!

elonize:
mk I use chipper cash or our banks to save in dollars?

Wetin be chipper cash?

The flaw in your thesis is that you fail to take into account that much of human behavior (giving included) is motivated by fear (sometimes quite camouflaged fear but still fear nonetheless)

KingEarnest:
Women will start submitting virginity before marriage.

That means you want to stylishly ban marriage