₦airaland Forum

Ok on a lighter note.

Many last borns are usually taken good care of by first borns and the family in general.

They know you know how to take care of them. You have experience in understanding their tantrums and over pampered stubborn heads.

It is natural attraction.

Don't fight it.

Went on some assignment and as with my job I was lodged at a top hotel in the city. A relative came with school mates (from the University) to see me in the hotel. 2 guys and 2 girls. Both girls were very pretty but one was more than the other with respect to curve statistics. A 9/10 and a 10/10. To enjoy the visit they arrived early in the morning. Around 7 am.

As students,they wanted a feast. Coming to the hotel was exciting. Free food things and students. I allowed them order whatever they wanted. They played , watched TV, play-fought, gisted, used the pool, used the gym, free Wi-Fi, etc. All this while, never knew the girls were "eyeing" me so to speak. I was too busy with my task on my personal computer and paid them no attention. I recall I was playing Yani, listening with my head phones and working on my laptop.

When it was time to go,they informed me and I left the table to get or do something. Perhaps to get them some transport money or something. But I know the bolder girl amongst them slipped her name and number on the notepad close to my laptop. No one noticed her do this. I didn't either.

When they left and I got back I noticed the piece of paper. Sent a message latter and she replied that she would love to return to the Hotel that night. I obliged. Made mad, crazy and insane love that night from the door of the room. Realised she was shy but when she lets loose she is crazy and energetic. She latter told me she was 25. So I told her to just relax and allow me show her things. She liked the idea of a lot of the naughty things we did. Swapping sex positions, not being shy when she shakes and quivers from orgasms as a result of clitoral and g. Spot orgasms. Ended up making her cry latter because whenever she asks about my coming to their state again for work and I honestly tell her I don't know yet. Eventually tried to scare me that she thinks she is pregnant. Told her we used protection. She claimed it wasn't 100 per cent safe. Told her to have the baby. Which angered her. She never talked to me again. Checked on her through my relative. He told me she was perfectly fine.

Now, the funny thing about it is the quieter and prettier one also stole or got my number and called few days after. I obliged. She was quieter. And I discovered she wanted to learn and experiment. She was 20. Thaught her how to be comfortable and allow a squirt happen. She initially didn't understand the urge to pee sensation/feeling. etc. Really corrupted her. In no small way.

-Children die from eating every year. They choke.
Has eating/feeding children become a bad thing?

-Children did not ask to be sent to school. School is not compulsory. Their consents were not sought. Yet they are sent to school. Cast into the reality of getting an education and knowledge. Education after all does not guarantee a happy or successful life. Isn't that what people say?

-Children when they poop their buttocks are cleaned without their consent. They are never asked if they want to bathe.

There is no immediate or future benefit/Comfort of rape. No societal benefit of rape. Certain decisions and actions taken without consent have far less consequences than rape. Certain decisions though taken without consent (especially with children) have been established to have far reaching benefits to the children and the society at large.

Female circumcision has been talked about a lot. Female circumcision has been found to have no known benefit than to satisfy some persons who believe that female sexuality needs to be suppressed. Hence people have constantly condemned the act.

Stupidity is when someone looks at something which has benefits and decides not to take it because it comes from a religious group. And who says that male circumcision originates from the Hebrews/Jews? The Bible? Really? If that is the case we will selectively decide on what beneficial knowledge and information we are to take by first asking if it came from a Muslim or a Christian. This is a very wrong way of reasoning.

Let us listen good. Male circumcision has benefits regardless of whether we feel (we are not sure) and some people claim it was God that mandated it. How does a sane human being bring this issue up when talking about rape? Secondly, circumcision in the hospital is not by force. Parents who are responsible for the child have the right to say their male babies should not circumcised. Female circumcision has been shown to have no known benefit, yet some persons still force it to happen.

I understand how a lot of the kids here are seeking attention, quick to hurl insults, and call and tag people by insolent names, etc. Where argument isn't to swap ideas but to win. I will not dip myself into this mud.

Rape is a manifestation of a lot of issues in the society. How it is carried out, the frequency and hoe it is handled is a big reflection of how much we have evolved from being wild animals. And quite frankly, with the rampant rate of domestic and public rape cases, we have not evolved much. Rape It is a general manifestation of the way the male folk have been taught to see the women. How the (majorly) physically strong have been taught to perceive the weak.


In nature every weak person is exploited and most of the crime is a manifestation of showing who is the "boss". Rape is a form of exploitation. Sexual exploitation. Either in a passive or aggressive manner. Whether in a remote or domestic setting. Whether by a stranger or by an acquaintance. RAPE IS SEXUAL EXPLOITATION. An act of forcefully taking what you can't have and something you have not been deemed as deserving.

Many men are ignorant about rape and those that are informed about it, have refused to see the fact that, a lady reading at night in a church, alone does not deserve whatever comes to her. It is this mindset that still cultivates this issue of rape. They quietly and even openly claim and promote male supremacy in order to justify their lust and greed.

The society must take very serious steps to reduce rape by preventing it. The idea of a crime free society while ideal is hard to come by. But we must reduce the crime to the level where only those mentally insane will commit them.

One of such is to raise and constantly inform men in a such a way that they cannot just help it but to respect women. This issue of rape needs to be taught in class as part of Sex Education. Boys need to be taught about it. About how it starts and how they should take control of their emotions and desires. HOW TO LET REASONING OVERCOME INSTINCTIVE DESIRES. The potential effect of ubiquitous pornography and how each man needs to understand that he will be held responsible for any actions of his which are as a result of self exposure to pornographic materials and to other substances like drugs and alcohol. It needs to be openly discussed in the society. Men and boys must be taught in the society that women are to be protected and respected. A woman MUST NOT BE RAPED IN ANY CIRCUMSTANCE. THEY MUST BE TAUGHT THE PRINCIPLE OF CONSENT. How many Nigerian Men know the definition of consent? How many men in Benin and Lagos are aware that consent needs to be informed, enthusiastic, sober, ongoing and freely given? They must be taught that a woman must never be blamed during rape and no reason under the sun is acceptable for the justification of rape. They need to know that a woman being sexy;Being curvy;Wearing Skimpy Clothes; Being Alone at an alley at night; Working late in the office; Being a step daughter at home or being a daughter at home;Being a niece staying with an uncle;Being a house help;Being a captured soldier in a battlefield; laughing with you in the party; Agreeing to come visit you at home; etc. THESE ARE NOT GROUNDS TO RAPE. There is no excuse or justification to use force in sexually exploiting women.

The men still have this "She Asked For It" mindset. The scary thing about this mindset is that most men (though they don't voice it out) naturally see the woman as a cause of their sexual frustration. What many women do not know is that if you remove every other factor men consider as being the fault of the woman (e. g. She wasn't walking alone at night, she wasn't wearing a skimpy dress, she never talked rudely to him, she never gave him green light, no she did not go to his house alone, etc.) the men will still say "Ehn why does she have a vag.in.a and why is she curvy and pretty. She sexually aroused him. She deserves it".


There must be converted efforts to ensure

1. The need for rape does not arise (where the major focus should be). The men must be well informed enough to know women are to be respected and not be raped in ANY SITUATION.

2. The women/men for now must take action to protect themselves by avoiding scenarios that can allow it happen by either avoidance or by self defense.

3. The society must allow stricter guaranteed justice and punishment to perpetrators. The justice system must be developed to a high level of integrity were a rapist is easily found guilty without ANY REASONABLE DOUBT. So that when he/she is punished we all know he/she deserves it. This guarantee of a certain, swift and stiff punishment will serve as a deterrent.

In Nigeria of today, unfortunately only 2 above is what everyone is mandating the women to focus on. How do you design a factory with faulty equipment and then ask the maintenance engineer to do his best to ensure an accident does not happen? First there must be actions to prevent cause. You must first remove the root causes before you talk about actions to reduce consequences. The focus must be mainly on the perpetrators of the rape. Majorly the Men. Otherwise we will keep looking for victims to blame and eventually one day it is our daughters, mothers, sisters that will be blamed for being beautiful or for walking alone on the street at night or for not greeting the street guys properly whenever she passed by.

These are my contributions on this matter.

SPOLO:
Abeg Bosses wey Sabi matter advice me on how to counter this.


I am not really the type that ask a lady out, i just make friends and take it beyond to dating level.

But recently i asked one out and she said she is gonna give me a reply and today she was like.... '' Can we just be a friends''?...


And i am not the type that do friends issh stuff is either you say yes or No.


Please what's the best response to this question ❓

DO NOT MAKE FRIENDS WITH A LADY YOU ARE SEXUALLY ATTRACTED TO.

DONT. NEVER. IT IS EMOTIONALLY DRAINING.

I don't have female friends. I don't keep them. I don't need to keep them. We have nothing do discuss about. If you see my laughing even remotely with any lady, then know I have slept with her. Not on the verge of doing so. I have already done so. And even when I have done so, I dont go about dotting over her. I give her space. I know how to give and withdraw attention so it doesn't get stale and boring. I am even barely friends with the ladies I have had.

Note I did not say if she is being attacked by some stray dogs, dont help her. I did not say if she is falling in a ditch don't assist her. Please those are life threatening. Be human. But beyond this, please no extra attention besides "Good morning" and "morning".

DO NOT be friends with her. You will only emotionally, psychologically, physically and even financially drain yourself. So you will be there and another guy will be dating her. Getting the attention you desired from her and you will just watch? You are putting your self in an emotional prison and cage.

LET HER GO. WIN SOME AND LOOSE SOME. WARRIORS DONT OVER KILL AND WARRIORS CANT BE OVER KILLED EITHER. Before you let her go be sure to clearly let her know in a few words. No long preaching as if you are devastated.

"Sorry I cannot be friends with you because my attention/frienship is special and reserved for only one woman outside my relatives. My intention was not to be "just friends" with you and I cannot accept anything less. Hence I will have to decline your offer. ".


TELL HER YOU CANNOT BE FRIENDS WITH HER. THEN WITHDRAW THE ATTENTION.

it might seem mean to you. But your focus should be on your sanity and peace of mind. Live for yourself and not for anyone else. YOUR SELF FIRST. Every other human comes secondary. It is when you are alive and of sane mind that you can better and effectively contribute to others.

SAY NO TO RAPE

SAY NO TO FORCING ANYONE DOING WHAT THEY DO NOT WISH TO DO.

ESLECIALLY WITH THEIR BODIES AND SEXUALITY.


SAY NO TO RAPE (SN2R)

.. where do I start from?:

1. Peeping in the thighs and panties of an "Aunt". I was thinking I was smart. Latter I realized she enjoyed the effect it had on me and she sort of liked the attention. I realized she would intentionally sit in a position which intentionally compromised her self composure.

2. As a young teenager (13 or so), giving my sleeping cousin head. She was about 11 or so. I don't know is she was aware or if it made sense to her. I frankly don't know. But I had a very great IQ and was well informed about a lot of things beyond my age. Hardly were my age mates my friends. They were just too childish to me.

3. Sleeping with my "adopted" sister in my mid teenage. Was the one who introduced her to orgasms of various kinds. Really corrupted her. At 16 I was a voracious reader including reading and learning about the art and science of love making. At 16, I could "snatch" any woman who let her guard down.

4. Had a one night stand with my hosts younger sister. I had gone to visit and stay with him for a while. He travelled and his undergrad younger sister came to visit. In course of her visit, we went out for dinner, had ice-cream, one thing led to another, we made out when we got back to his apartment. Finally, made love during that same night of the day she arrived. She was meeting and knowing me for the first time. Though she had heard about my presence from her brother.

5. Slept with the wife of a neighbor. Given the chance, I won't attempt this ever again due to personal reasons. After this particular lady, wives became a resounding NO. A no go area on my part. Funny thing is she wrote me a love letter after that. We had sex again afterwards and was almost caught by the husband's friend who was also friends with me and could enter any of the apartments at will.

6. Dated 2 sisters. First dated the older sister. She got married and moved. Then I dated the younger sister in her late Teens. Almost slept with the last girl of the family as well. The situation was not convenient and time was too short. I am unaware if they found out. Or if they discuss it ever.

7. A recall as a kid I once put fake charm in front of the door of a neighbor who reported me to my mum. Picked some leaves, disposed red enamel plate, some snail shells and a lot of other things to create this perfect horror fetish thing. I Created this perfect sacrifice looking thing and placed it in front of her room door. This neighbor was scared shirtless. Called people to pray. Went crazy with worry about who would want to cause her harm.

8. I have generally had sex with a lot of girls who I never knew their age. It is until the deed has been done that I latter get to know. Some as young as 15. None of the dads found out though.

9. Others mental stuff that I cannot disclose at this moment. Perhaps latter I could.


Also, I have done some recent crazy things that for now I wouldn't want to talk about for the moment. I might modify latter. A lot of my "craziness" come from me developing as a young man. Very well informed and very well read and exposed. I wanted to modify the post and add some more. But I'll let it be. Perhaps as one develops and learns through life and as time covers one thing and establishes another, we will learn lessons in our shenanigans, that we can well share.

The reason why two people come together is not because of the sex organs alone. Logic is extremely far from this notion.

If that be the case, then gay men will mast-urbate and so will gay women. Lesbians will not need a partner as they have their own fingers and toys. With the development of fleshlite and recent sex dolls revolution, how has that stopped men from seeking out women?

It is highly jejune to see sex between a man and a woman as just the introduction of one sex organ another or the manipulation of sex organs by another person. There are many other benefits of homosexual and heterosexual relationships and sex is simply what consolidates these benefits. Sexual expression is what makes it special. You can show all the love and all the care and attention to your spouse, but when it cannot be fully expressed by sex/love making there is always a void. Ask people who have had their partners incapacitated sexually due to various reasons. They will tell you that while the affection there, they miss the expression of these feelings with their partners. They miss the physical expression. In the same way,ask partners who resorted to masturbation because their partners denied them sex.They will also tell you that masturbation after a while, did not give them the pleasure of being with another human.

Inanimate objects (equipment and toys) can never give the experience of communicating and interacting with another human being.

The importance of a partner goes beyond the sex organ they carry or wield.

samchem:
Uniport new vc looking flamboyant in new pics

Professor Georgewill Owunari from Abonnema in kalabari LG of Rivers State becomes the 9th vice chancellor of the prestigious citadal of learning

This is strange news.

I thought the current VC had up until July 2020?

The news needs to be independently verified.

chatinent:
(c) All rights reserved.
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1.
Myth: Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in heaven.
Apparently, this is not a new saying as people tend to say what they might have heard about the Witnesses not scrutinizing them whether or not they are truth.

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Truth: Jehovah's Witnesses believe in heaven as the residence of the Creator of the Universe.
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2. Myth: Jehovah's Witnesses do not believe in hell.
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Truth: This is where people misunderstand themselves. Jehovah's Witnesses believe 'Hell' is the common grave of mankind. Witnesses do not believe in 'hell fire' as it is unbiblical, unless you'll show me where the original sinners -- Adam and Eve -- went to 'hell fire.'
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3.
Myth: Jehovah's Witnesses do not celebrate anything.
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Truth: If you mean holidays like birthdays, Christmas etc., of course yes. Think: what is the relevance of Santa Claus in the bible? Do they or not have pagan origins? In fact, Witnesses commemorate the Death of Jesus as Jesus asked his disciples to do.
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4. Myth: Jehovah's Witness do not speak in tongues.
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Truth: Well, Jehovah's Witnesses speak many languages as they come from differing lands but do not involve in the ecstatic speaking performed today by religious leaders. The first century Christians who received the gift used it to preach to people (as the early congregants were filled with people from many lands), so they spoke a language and all who heard understood. Note: To preach. Is that what is done today? Don't throw caution to the wind.

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5. Myth: Jehovah's Witnesses do not do blood transfusions and are wicked to see their loved one die.
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Truth: Witnesses put much faith in doing God's will. Sorry to disappoint you, they love their children and loved ones. In fact, medical practitioners agree that it is not safe either, and no guarantee of living well or surviving as no blood samples really match another. Besides, there are other non-blood media. Coming to think of it, Witnesses put faith in the resurrection. Yes, so why worry of this wicked world?
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Have more questions? Visit www.jw.org or simply ask them here constructively.

RELIGION'S LEGION



EACH, PROUD OF ITS OWN WAY



CLAIMING RIGHT OF WAY


TO JUST ONE BEING.

This is just a feeble attempt at defining what is right and what is wrong from a religious perspective.

You are supposed to do good because you feel it is good. Not because you are threatened by it or hope to get a reward. Sex between two (2) people, Consensual , is not immoral or moral. It is sex. And quoting religion (Christianity) as the basis for determining what is moral is a place I won't even delve and dive into. It will only yield fallacies. HUMANS ARE CAPABLE OF CHOOSING WHAT IS ETHICAL AND WHAT IS MORAL WITHOUT RELIGION. YES, HUMANS CAN BE GOOD (OR ACT IN A WAY THAT THEIR FELLOW HUMANS GENERALLY BELEIVE IS GOOD) WITHOUT GOD. let's get that out of the way.

Because why you claim sex before marriage is bad, in your own religious view or your own personal view (and your personal views were based on influences), it is not so in all religions. Neither is it so in all cultures. And not everyone believes it is wrong either.

The idea of right, proper and acceptable varies from people to people. There are also similarities as there are differences. So if someone says he/she wants to have sex, before marriage, and this is opposed by certain persons due to their beliefs, the question is who gives them the right to dictate for all of us based on their religious beliefs? What about other people who do not see my actions as wrong? Who hears them out and takes their position into account? What makes your own opinion superior to mine or what makes mine superior or inferior to yours?

So, before you try to force your opinions on people, please note that the two consenting individuals decided to take the action, in sane mind, believing together that they were not intending to harm anyone or one another. They were both comfortable with their decisions.

It is funny when people believe that lack of premarital sex, or having it as well brings marital happiness. None of the two scenarios contribute that greatly into a lasting marriage. And why should you judge me based upon your religious belief. Why not use any of the over 4,000 religions? You accept one which says that premarital sex is bad. I accept one where it isn't bad. Or I create my own religion where it isn't bad. Yes religions were created. I can as well create mine and call it a name. Give it a diety. Introduce rites and rituals and convert people.

DanseMacabre:
Okay this is straightforward.

I met a long time admirer for the first time yesterday, and she was so starstruck that we found ourselves kpanshing on the first day. A one-day stand literally.


Now, in her bit to fully satisfy me, during the act of copulation she was making a lot of weird sounds to justify her ecstasy. Very weird sounds. A cross between a howling wolf and the wheezes of an asthmatic patient, if you ask me.


But I know myself na; no matter your Photoshop sounds, if I don't hear that telltalle sound from your pvssy that sounds like a punctured tyre deflating...It's your grandfather you're wining.

But not every man has this talent.


So:

Men, can you tell if she's faking orgasm

Women, can you successfully fake an orgasm


Discuss.

Bia come o...
Where's ishilove lefulefu davash22 dominique ibkayee makydebbie lamani22 millenniumlady lalasticlala etc sef

Some of the answers here are so interesting. However, no.

There is only one way to really know.

Involuntary contractions coupled with accelerated breathing.

That is what most ladies fail to fake. And that is what most men fail to know.


For a female orgasm, their is the quickening of breathing often accompanied by gasps or moans followed by several seconds of rapid, involuntary contractions of the muscles around the vulva and anus, usually with a jerky movement of the hips and often the whole body.


Forget all the wetness, squirting, etc. Forget all the moaning, etc.

Yes all men have the potential to have multiple sexual partners. Women too have it. However, anatomy, psychology, biology and all the sciences shows the drive for men is way higher.

Nature even went further to make it that they needn't take any break. However, A woman while pregnant needs a break. Even while nurturing the baby she will need some break. It allows her focus on the offspring and improve the chances of survival of the young. This isn't to mean women are totally inherently sexually restrained. No. The restraint you see today is based on the society we find ourselves. Cultural and religious influences.

A man is naturally gifted by nature and his biology to bed, impregnate as many women as possible. This is his basic instinct.

Instinctively Homo Sapiens males have the sexual drive to propagate their seed into as many women as possible. The makes have more spontaneous sexual arousal and fantasies than the females. It doesn't mean the female are lacking in this. For there to be pleasurable sexual relationships, the ladies too must have the sexual urge and drive.

However, when we look at being humans who have the gift of reasoning. We realize that this type of attitude does not naturally go down well with the society and certain religions of today. Men don't want to share their women. And women don't want to share their men either.

Women have also decided that they will ignore this fact that men do not naturally mind multiple sexual partners.

This does not mean the men should. I really do not care what anyone does with his or her life as long as he/she can bear the consequences.

While there are numerous reasons for people to get violent in a relationship, the bar must not be crossed. That is not to say your partner won't get on your nerves and really ask for it. Especially the female folk. So we could say there are many reasons to hit a woman and many reasons for the women to smack men too when the men do emotionally and mentally hurtful things like trying to have sex with the little house help, or sleeping with their best friend, etc. Then the men deserve to be slapped multiple times.

However, as much as possible, try not to do so. No hitting. No physical violence. How many dagger holding men at Oshodi will you fight with if you passed through Oshodi and they pissed you off? Then we must all agree that the only reason you rush to beat a child or woman is because you are stronger. It is a power trip. It is an abuse of strength.

Hit a woman only in a cases of self defence to protect your life, the life of your loved ones or the life of the general public in maintaining the law.

Sexual preferences,desires and kinks are all experential. They usually come from past experiences. Either directly as it happened to us or indirectly as we watched and/orr heard and/or saw it happen to someone else in real life or in movies, books, magazines and other such media. Many people have either forgotten or do not realize how strongly such past experiences influences what they desire and prefer when it comes to sex/copulation/mating, love, courtship and marriage. You can either end up liking such and experience or hating it. Some people get raped and prefer rough sex for life. While some will never like sex for life.

Your sexual experience as a younger man with your aunt is very strongly imprinted in your memory and subconscious.

-It was an older more mature woman.
-It was effortless. Very easy. You did nothing to get it.
-It was taboo of sorts.
-It had a lot of adrenaline rush and dopamine release

This past experience and the conditions surrounding it formed your sexual preferences of today. After this happened you could also have subsconciously fed this new sexual preference by watching movies, etc with such scenes. You also would focus more on older women hoping to relive the experience, etc. This done for long has shapened your impatience with younger girls.

It is not strange then that you do not want any lady wasting your time. Especially when you see she is young, perhaps dumb and practically childish. She is not as advanced as your aunt. Hence you can't deal with this level of childishness when in the past you had it easy with a well advanced woman and even at your young age.

However you need to realize that in today's society, your experience isn't as common. What is common is the man being with younger women. Your case was the reverse. So know this fact and learn to put up with their shenanigans in courtship. Also realize that usually, the male has to chase and woo the woman. While I consider this silly from a logical point of view, it boosts the ego of the woman, makes her feel like she actually selected the mate herself, and makes her feel less cheap/not easily dominated. Both instinct and reason is greatly against you on this one.

By instinct, she wants a male that is worthy of her and can take care of her young. By reason, she doesn't want to be seen as cheap. However, there are ways of making her forget all these and still breaking through these barriers.

A girl was introduced into sex very early by a close family member. At night the young man creeps up to her as she sleeps in her nightie and short wrapper around her waist. He quietly and gently spreads her thighs in her sleep very wide, then and goes ahead to copulates and make love to her in her room for a long time every night. Perhaps we should say fortunately for her, he knew what he was doing and was skilled at it making her experience penile sex, MouthAction etc. and various types of orgasms in the process. It made her experience intense orgasms at a very very young age of around 16. Till today, even in her adult life she confesses that it is only when she is asleep and her boyfriend creeps up to her at night that she manages to want or even enjoy sex. Both she and the guy who "spoilt" her are advanced adults now, but she wishes they were still kids and she could still experience it over and over again.

YOU HAVE TO CONSCIOUSLY LEARN TO BE PATIENT IN SEDUCTION WITH LADIES WHETHER OLDER OR YOUNGER. That is how it is in the society of today. Unless she also has what she wants and believes that quickly giving into you will allow her achieve this.

One more thing. You could use this "issue" to a great advantage and be a real coquette. In the sense that the ladies turn around and chase you instead. You are applying your reaction wrongly.

"Death is a Transition. A Removal of the Space Suit

One Necessary to Exist and Experience this Planet and Plane of Existence

But, Toubled be the Living for Death's Sake.

For Sorrow, Grief and Fear it Creates.

But the Dust our Earthly Cloaks are Made.

And to the Dust Shall this Earthly Cloak Return"


Politically Incorrect, 2020.

Why should anyone get into a banter with you?

It will be quite frankly an unnecessary proceeding.

Everyone has a feeling of entitlement. Nothing wrong in that. It is a natural psychological state and part of the fabric of strong self esteem.

The feeling of entitlement also varies from the two genders. It is worse in the male folk, especially in an already gender bias and patriachial society as found in Africa and Nigeria.

You simply feel entitled. Albeit, misguided and on very trivial things. But entitled all the same. Did she eat with 10 and gave you 1? Like someone said, even if she had 100 and gave you none, it is her house. Repay the favour when she comes visiting. Which to me is even unecessary.

Do not forget the obligations as a guest. If you feel insulted by the hospitality of your host, you decline it, you accept it, or you leave. And in which law does it say that an in-law must have numerous pieces of animal protein in his food?

Do not feel too entited in another person's house. Focus on yourself. Get a wife of your own. Buy your own food. Cook it. Kill a whole cow. Eat it all in a feast. But do not dictate what a family should serve you.

And one last thing - PLEASE RESPECT THE LADY'S PRIVACY INCLUDING HER KITCHEN.

Gundel001:
Hi good day my fellow Nairalander please I will really need your experience about this issue. Please help me read to the end as it is a little bit long.

My junior brother is 14 years old and to be sincere I haven’t seen anybody as dull as him. I don’t know if it is natural but I just can’t understand why someone at that age could still be struggling with very simple arithmetic. My brother can’t write 1 – 150 correctly at 14.

He seems too dull; note he attends one of the best private school around our area, though I know you might say maybe education is not his way but even if you want to drop out from school you should know some basic things like money, time, multiplication and so on but my brother doesn’t know anything I must say, even to write his name correctly is a problem. It is making everyone unhappy lot of money is being spent on lesson teachers and other things for him still no improvement.

I am a student of one of the top federal University in Nigeria same as my other siblings even at both secondary and undergraduate level we were always above average so I can’t say his problem is genetic. I really wants to know what is the problem with him nairalanders. After I finished secondary school I once taught some pupils in primary school though there were dull ones too there but with time I could see improvement unlike my brother i always try to teach him from time to time but it kind of frustrating as he doesn’t even seems like he will ever grab anything and he doesn’t behave like he wants to learn anything.

He makes it seems as if he is not interested book or arithmetic at all …we all tried talking to him endless time to always read any time he his less busy but he never does except he is being forced.

He rarely talks, he loves to keep to himself always, he doesn’t have interest in anything unlike we the others that are die hard football fans, most times my mom will tell him to even go out to play and mingle he will not still want to go, he prefer to stay at home seating all day without reading or doing anything, even if it is to draw or play football he wont.

This matter is not making everyone happy at home we don’t even know the solution to his problem again, as in imagine having a child that is 14 years old that doesn’t know the difference between 17 and 71 it is just so bad…..

We don’t know if his case is mental or spiritual. please nairalanders I know there are child experts in the house or anybody who have experienced something like this before what do you think is the problem and possible solutions to the problem your contributions are welcome.

Please help me push this pleaseeeeee

He most likely has some learning disabilities.

And it is possible that he doesn't not want to socialize for fear of being laughed at. It could be that he is being ridiculed in school. And this has completely made him feel as if he is a lost cause and learning/school isn't for him.

Everyone is not supposed to learn at the same pace. Those skilled in diadatics should know this.

Like I hinted, I believe he probably has some form of SOCIAL ANXIETY arising from his inability to learn and grabs like majority of the kids his age.

He needs to be encouraged. Told that he should take his time. And allowed to study preferably in the montesorri type of way.

Please read some articles here and see if you can relate with it.


https://ldaamerica.org/types-of-learning-disabilities/

This piece was written out of ignorance and sensationalism.

Global equity when it comes to salary etc. Is a dream. And no time in Nigeria will there be equal pay for all staff of the Government. Not even the oil companies pay themselves the same amount. Even in the USA there is only a minimum wage.

AND WHAT IS WRONG IF SOMEONE EARNS MORE THAN THE PRESIDENT? WHO IS THE PRESIDENT THAT PEOPLE CANT EARN ABOVE HIM IN THE CIVIL SERVICE? SINCE WHEN IS THAT A BENCHMARK? What manner of ignorance is this? Does the president earn hazard allowance? Does he earn shift allowance? Is he under the risk of dying in a helicopter crash every 2 weeks? Is he under the risk of having his survey vessel offshore attacked by pirates and militants?

What is the minimum education requirement to becoming the president of Nigeria? School certificate? As a minimum this won't get you employed into DPR or FIRS, etc.

1. The Oil and Gas Industry has its own salary structure. Try to pay a DPR staff 30 thousand per month and you want him to regulate a Total Staff who is paid 1 million plus? Really?

2. The risk majority of these DPR staff take in doing their jobs. The level of expertise, it is not something you just pay paltry 30 thousand minimum wages for.

3. Also, the financial arrangement DPR is operating under is quite different from those of other MDAs. DPR gets to keep a percentage of whatever it generates. Hence it can do much better than many other MDAs.

4. The revenue that the DPR generates is huge. It keeps surpassing it's target every year. Yes the Federal Government gives DPR a target with respect to revenue.

5. For now the Oil and Gas Industry is most important to Nigeria. Those who work and facilitate this will naturally be paid more and appeased by better perks.

As it stands today let no one deceive others that all Civil Servants Contribute the same. They never have and they never will. Various arms of the Civil Service contribute differently to the growth, revenue and development of the country. We all love to live in fantasies and lies we well ourselves.

Jaika:
Just imagine if you find out that your future spouse was aborted by his or her mother �

Then you marry someone else. This is not a good argument for an anti abortion stand.

Sorry I am not into the "soul mate" and "Rib of my rib" fantasy which is only made to mentally stimulate people to believe that sexual experiences are special. Those things granted are necessary. However we shouldn't deceive ourselves.

A woman has more than one man on earth who can comfortably husband her. As a man, I believe there are many women I will also be happy with as a wife. We only have to ensure contentment with what he have and make the best of it. We can't go bothering if there are better people out there, because trust me and reality, there/they are.

But if believing in these fantasies make us feel good about ourselves, our spouses and feeds our self esteem, then why not. It makes us all a happy society.

She either works it to Lagos or she doesnt.

When she comes to Lagos, she either stays with you or she doesn't.

If you are worried about all these, but you feel you want to help her come to Lagos, then do so and tell her your place is not comfortable.Inform her that she will/must have to look for her own place. Let her know you are more interested in the prospects and opportunities that abound for her and you are not bringing her here to become a live-in lover. She also should be focusing on her career and financial independence. A relationship should be secondary.

Who even told you that when she comes to Lagos she won't see another guy and move on? Listen to me, your life is first to yourself. Yourself first. Live for yourself first and not for anyone else. If you feel it will be stressful living with her and the risks are much then avoid it at all cost. A Chinese Proverbs says "IT IS FOOLISHNESS TO PUT OUT THE CANDLE EARLY AT NIGHT TO SAVE IT, IF IT WILL TO LEAD TO TWINS".


These are your options. Simple and clear. Worrying only makes one ignore the facts and logic in the matter.

Quite known for their twerking abilities as well.

However this doesn't reflect a proper representation of the women there.

With a few photos of curvaceous women, any country will definitely be classified as having endowed women. Even the Asians.

Your biology simply hijacked your thoughts, thats all.

It is a normal response and nothing particularly worrisome about it. Even as a teenager, one day you are all though ,lost in your world, no care at all. Suddenly you start noticing the opposite sex.

Same thing can happen. One day you are all I am this way sexually and can never be that way, then something happens and you wonder where such deep seated and strong emotion is coming from.

Do something about it. It is either you have him or you smile and let it go. There are not multitude of choices here.

cyrilamx:
A young Lady tweeted this piece to a Twitter Handle seeking for counselling. Enjoy reading!

I started sleeping with my sister's husband out of pity
Yes, it was out of pity at the beginning before somehow i have landed myself in a mess right now
You need to hear my story Brother Gbenga, you really need to tell my story!
My sister was a choleric, the type that rated moneyabove many other things

She had a shop, a shoe and bags outfit that she treated like her life project
I came into the family as a help at the shop, even though my sister was my older sister of the same father and mother!
She was eleven years older than I am and came to lie to my parents that she wanted to take me to Abuja to put me in school
I was in the village and I liked my life there
I was with my parents who loved me and made sure I didn't lack anything

As soon as I got to Abuja, my sister told me the academic session was half done and I would have to wait until the next term before she would put me in school
I was 15 years old and she didn't see it as unfit for her to convert me to her sales girl
Later during that period I overheard her telling her friend that she had to pick me from the village because I was her blood She said if i stole her money it wouldn't be as painful as it would be if an outsider stole it

Her friend told her it was a wise decision
By this time it was becoming obvious to me that my sister didn't plan to enroll me in school
She just wanted to use me without a care for my
future

When i called my parents to report to them what was going on, my sister denied everything!
She came home that day and beat me badly, she said I stole her money and wanted to return to the village to spend it
She called the police and I was locked up overnighthusband that bailed me out the next morning

I told her husband I didn't steal anything
he said he knew, it was my sister's style of punishment to break stubborn employees
Her husband said he had thought my sister would treat me much better than he treated the other sales girls
it was herhusband that bailed me out the next morning
I told her husband I didn't steal anything
he said he knew, it was my sister's style of punishment to break stubborn employees
Her husband said he had thought my sister would treat me much better than he treated the other sales girls that had worked with her in the past

My sister's husband was a soft-spoken gentleman who had a strong sense of responsibility
He promised that he would enroll me in school the following term and he did so despite my elder sister's protests that since I just came to Abuja from the village i cannot cope with the demands of a city school.

From the day I had the effrontery to follow her husband to the boarding school, she washed her hands off me.
She stopped talking to me and whenever i speak to her she will just turn her head away and act as if i was a ghost Her husband took full responsibility for me until i finished my secondary school. My parents didn't know this. To them my sister was spending money on me and keeping her promise. When i finished secondary school, my sister's husband ensured i gained admission into the University He spent quite a lot of money

I cannot lie to you, he treated me the way an older brother will treat his sister and he was a very responsible man
After my 100 level, i went to their house for my holidays, i noticed something had changed!
My sister had moved out of their room and was sleeping in the guest room during the night!
I didn't say anything at first but when ASUU went on strike and i noticed it didn't stop, i asked my sister's husband one day what was going on
(They have been married for eleven years without a child)

He explained that they went for some tests at the hospital and it was discovered that he was the one with the problem! he said since that day my sister moved out of the room to punish him for wasting her time for the past 11 years and was considering what her next move will be! Sir, this man is a good man I think that discussion was a mistake or perhaps it was too intimate not to have the repercussion that has brought us here. A few days after we had that discussion, he started looking at me that way, you know...
I cannot lie, I know my sister is vindictive and very wicked

That good man was suffering
The day after he gave me that look, he asked me if i would like to move to another relative's house (My Aunt lives in Kubwa). He assured me that he would still pay my fees but his thoughts towards me had suddenly become carnal. I told him I noticed that too

I packed my bags that evening
My sister returned home from her shop and walked past me to where her husband was seated in the sitting room!
She started screaming "Shameless man, paper frog, that's how you sat down and wasted my time with your dead semen, you better go and hang yourself and die!
If you die i will have something to show for twelve years of my life or do you want me to leave this house empty handed? Is that your plan? Drink sniper and die or hang yourself on that ceiling fan!"

Brother Gbenga, I am not making an excuse sir, my heart cut at that moment!
Thirty minutes later, my sister reemerged from the room fully dressed. She picked her car keys and left the house. As soon as she left, her husband got on his feet and started pacing up and down, talking to himself. I cannot tell if he wanted to commit suicide or not but i felt he was very disturbed
I went to meet him, i held his hands and hugged him
He hugged me tightly for a very long time and then he started crying
Everything that happened was natural from there
He kissed my ears and then my lips and well, our clothes said goodbye.

That was the first day
I didn't leave after then, I cannot say why. I stayed and took care of him and slept with him
I was confirmed pregnant at the start of the lockdown in April, two months pregnant!
We didn't take precautions because we knew his sperm was dead! It was a shock!

He moved me out of the house immediately, he rented a place for me at the beginning of May
Nobody in my family knows what is going on, but I am determined to keep this baby and if possible keep the man!
He is having a crisis of conscience and wondering what his friends and church people will say.

I know my sister will raise hell but I would rather she raised it in my absence. All i need now is your counsel. What do you think i should do about settling the family crisis here and how can you help?
God bless you brother Gbenga, Thank you for being you!

What else is to be done? As bad as it may sound, you are loosing focus. You options are not difficult. You just haven't taken time to focus.

1. The Baby. Keep the baby. It did not beg to be conceived. That is an easy decision. It did not ask you guys to create it. It is not terminally ill as a foestus either. So that is easy. KEEP THE BABY. TAKE CARE OF IT. NURTURE AND NURISH IT.

2. Move out of the house as you have have done. You are pregnant. Your life and that of the baby first. Your survival first. No one benefits much from pity. Be safe, be secure, be sane.

3. Even if your sister divorces her husband, are you bold and broad minded enough to openly date/marry him? Do you care less about what people will say? How mentally rugged are you? When people talk and gossip how will your mental /psychological integrity holdup? Your sister seems vindictive. Can you play this game? Do you have the energy and witt? Is that not unnecessary expense of energy? So, for now I will advice you do not focus on the relationship between you and the man. Take care of the baby and yourself. When the baby is safely put to bed, you can face crossing the bridge of telling your parents and your sister sooner or later.

To digress a little, interestingly, a lot of husbands have attempted sleeping with their wives sisters/cousins/relatives during this lock down period. In one, the lady in question is in her mid twenties(25 or so) , she would lay down with her thighs spread wide open the moment her big sister (who is the wife of the man) drives out of the house for any reason, and leaving her alone with the husband. The moment the her older sister drives out, this young lady will change into a skimpy skirt or gown and decide it is time to have a nap. She will cajole the 3 kids to sleep, or to go play in their room and will then feign sleep herself. She will sleep in parlour, or in her room but with the door open, spreading her thighs. It initially confused the guy that this twenty-somthing year old girl knew what she was doing. The guy had to take photo evidence and make videos of the whole show. He was very tempted to take the bait. The funniest part is when she is awake she avoids him and all that. He even attempted kissing her once, but she would not. But when she feigns sleep, she doesn't move or shake when he comes close and even kneels in between her thighs. Even when he peeled open a condom, she noticed he had one, she did not flinch. He simply noticed her breathing got heavier from excitement/anxiety. He notices her eyes moving- she is awake and well aware but does not move an inch. Her panties will be visible. The bulge of her vulva showing. Pubic hairs sticking out. He would even pull down his trousers to waist level but will pull them back up. He really fought the temptation.
Though he confessed that he had plans to really secretly spoil her with gifts, trips overseas (secret trips to dubai, South Africa, etc.) if he had made love to her. He would have really taken mad care of her every need and really spoiled her. She wouldn't have lacked anything. He was initially very excited at the thought of secretly dating her and would have done lots of things for her. He is very very comfortable. Eventually he said he had to just shake this temptation off and take back control of his sanity.

Back to the topic, it is good you have poured out your heart. You will need people to confide in. If you don't have any reliable person, then please avoid confiding in anyone. Focus on putting to bed. Completing your education and getting financially independent to also be able to cater for your kid and to give it a great future.

Avoid sentiments on this matter. You have looked backward and seen your mistakes and errors. Whether your sister had a bad attitude or not, take responsibility for your actions. Men abound but it had to be your sisters husband? That isn't an excuse if you reasoned properly. Instead you followed instinct. Now that you have looked back and you know your mistakes, PLEASE NOW LOOK FORWARD.

The ladies believe men are crazy about and will do anything to enjoy the pleasures of sex. Hence, in their opinion they are offering a service.

However, we should not that by instinct a woman is not programmed to just have sex (which can eventually lead to pregnancy) with a man who will not be capable of nurturing the product of their union. Our specie, the female selects a male capable of taking care of her. Helping her raise the kids. Strong enough to hunt a mammoth. And strong enough to fend off danger. To them this shows the man as genuinely interested in taking them as a mate. The women as the female in our species are not wired ab initio, to just sleep with a man just for enjoyment sake. The human female/woman by instinct, expects a man to assist with catering for the young. Hence they expect some form of compensation or input from the man.

In today's world, the sexual activity can occur without an offspring and without the intention of raising a family. However, they still feel because they have a vagina, they need to rely on handouts from a man to survive. Reason has not removed this desire for getting titbits from the man. Besides who doesn't want cash given to them just for some crazy reason of being a mate. Even some men enjoy it when women take care of them as well, even though many men are wired to see that as an abomination. So also, only a few women will not really rely on titbits from a guy.

The men also don't make the situation any better. They can go to war and murder for sex. They make sexual pleasure seem more important than oxygen itself.

It is a very big fallacy for the ladies to believe they are to be given money because they allowed coitus to happen. I find it hilarious when they say this.

Unfortunately today, women use their bodies to get what the want from men. Men use their wealth to get what they want from women. That is how it is. Until women, especially like the African and Nigerian woman becomes financially independent from the male folk, they will continue to be subverted. They will continue to be treated as house slaves by many men. Continue to be treated as children. But the pleasure of being the slave is real. Read about slavery. They would rather stay shackled because of a few Naira notes to make their hair, than break free become financially independent and not rely on any man to enjoy and experience life. To control and direct their own affairs.

We are all to note that the behaviour of people at any point in time is based on instinct and reason.

The way they reason is influenced greatly by the society and it's fabric at any particular period in time. Now the thing is this reasoning can be right or wrong depending on how you look at it.

What influences how people reason today? It is mainly Social media and the internet. We are being bombarded. Unfortunately we have not fully come to terms with the massive effect this is going to have. Just as the industrial revolution caused global change so has the internet.

a. With a click you are bombarded by every news;

b. With a clicl you are able to swipe right or left over hundreds of girls or men;

c. With a click you can see people flashing their false life style and false enjoyment intentionally posted to bring out jealousy and envy in people;

d. With a click you hear and see get rich quick information. Get happy quick scenarios. People are looking for short cuts to happiness and wealth. And they are going to be doing all manner of things to have the best or better experiences of life and living.

The humans of today will continually be influenced by these. I recall when blackberry chat (bbm) became popular. We all complained about girls going on dates and chatting instead of being mindful about who they came to meet. Many ladies and even some guys typing under the table and laughing to their phones and messages received while their host/hostess is trying to have a conversation with them. Well now it is worse. And it will get worse unless we intrntionally decide to take back control of our lives.

People will keep lacking social skills. Men will keep trying to sleep with as many women as they can through instagram, twitter, tinder, etc. Women will keep realizing the men are just in it for the fun. Women to will keep going for whatever benefit they can quickly get. They will also keep various options open just incase the men decide to move on. And when you have many options you become less tolerrant and change options easily. Women will realize that men are more concerned about curves and arse and boobs. Women will realize the more artificial they are. The more curvaceous they are, the more they can influence men and easily get what they want from men. They will loose all sense of hard and smart work. They will feel entitled. They will become so useless intellectually and can only feed through their aesthetic value (curves, boob's, face and arse). If nature took these away from them, their brains will be dead. It won't be able to come up with ideas for them to achieve anything. They will believe that having curves is automatic ticket to a free meal.

Men will then turn around to believe that women are just there for the money and all have a price so the best thing is to make money and fame by all and any means necessary. Women will in return,follow and go after these men because afterall they are in it for what they can get. And the men themselves aren't stable either. So get in and get out.

Right now men are controlling women with their wealth and women are controlling men with sex.

Men will keep displaying idiocy on these social media platforms. Sending phone numbers not solicited for. Running around women and chasing them like their lives depended on it. Sending nudes to women and being whimps. Women will realize the men out there are sex addicts who will do anything just for sex.

These are the times we live in. It will never go back to how it used to be. It is where civilization has pushed us to. Things are happening faster. Relationships are starting quicker and ending faster.

missimelda01:
Aside loneliness, are there other reasonable disadvantages of being single for a long time?

I have a friend who has never being in a relationship, she's about 25 and sometimes she acts like she has some psychological issues, when it's just us we can gist well but when other people are around she just goes 100% quiet (trust me it's really bad).. I'm like her only friend, I've encouraged her to get a boyfriend, maybe it'll help but she doesn't even know how to keep a guy interested in her for long. I worry about her seriously.

Modified
She opened up to me about feeling extremely lonely even when she's with people, she thinks she has psychological issues and I really don't know how else to help, I thought getting into a relationship might help her.

Learning how to socialize has nothing to do with having a lover or boyfriend. Some people are introverted. To me 3 is a crowd. In public I won't speak. In class if I have questions I don't ask. I note them and go research. I just don't like having people look at me back in my late teens and early twenties. Note I wasn't a saint. Not at all. I was street smart, a voracious reader and a handsome devil. But my personality was just simple. 3 is a crowd. And I'll pull away back into myself. My mind. My shell. I am was my own best friend for a long time.

You don't need a lover or boyfriend to enjoy life. Unfortunately, if you believe the wrong thing, it affects you too. Your brain might not have enough information to tell you that your beliefs are wrong. So you keep suffering from the consequences of believing and accepting the wrong thing. If you believe that whenever there is chickenpox,it is because one silly diety is angry, you will worry and worry and think along those lines. You are wrong about your opinion /judgment, but you still suffer from the consequences of wrong opinion/ideas/beliefs. Hence we must make sure we are reasonable most times.

In my opinion she doesn't know how to socialize at all. It is that simple. And having a boyfriend early does not guarantee happiness or good social skills. Also, successfully keeping a relationship has nothing to do with always having a boyfriend or beginning early to have one. I hope you do understand what I mean? She could have them as often and as early as possible but still suck.

She isn't much of a social person. She is extremely introverted. But she is wrongly assuming it is because she has been single for a long time. Not is isn't. I don't even think there is any significant correlation here.

She should simply and consciously improve her social skills. This can be done.

Too hard on yourself. You are just too hard on yourself.

It is possible you are frequently dreaming about the things you think and worry about in your wakeful state. Unfortunately many humans don't know mindfulness and how to observe their thoughts without judgement. Your concerns during the day are what you dream about. The level of guilt is well embedded in your subconscious from your daily thought patterns. Especially concerned in the fact that:

1. You believe your aunt always wanted her kids to fare better. ( I have personal experiences with this. My mum was not the preferred wife for my dad, so my dads siblings hated her and me and my siblings. They would always want to compare and make statements that their kids will outdo us.)

2. You believe you abandoned them or could have been there for her when she was sick.

3. You believe they took ill because of an evil thing they did in the past.

You life has turned out great. Life is a school. You come here to learn lessons. In school some experiences are pleasant and some are not. You learn and move to the next class. Learn your lessons. Move on.


Do me a favour, go and ask your mum if she is aware of why they suddenly sent you back to her? There could have been so many reasons. Something could have transpired that you are u aware of. Secondly, try to avoid as much as you can the comparison of yourself with your cousins. It isn't a race. Some start well and fall along the way. Some start late and end early. Some start early and end late or end early. It isn't a competition. Everything has worked perfectly for you.

I recall a young boy we were training, his father came and took him away because he didn't like our religious beliefs. They cut off the opportunities for the young man to get very good and free education. One they were not even able to afford. They couldn't even afford the government schools. They accused us of brainwashing him. My family doesn't force any religion on anyone. So we all grew up to think freely and choose whatever it is we want to believe in.

The reason for birthing children is not so that they take care of you in your old age.

Though this is an African sentiment, but this is not the deal in nature.

The only reason this happens is because humans are not living by instincts alone. Humans should not function on instinct alone. Humans function on reasons as well. We aren't animals. Even in the animal kingdom, certain species take
care of the aged.

The question is, are we obliged to take care of the aged in our society? The answer is a resounding YES! We should. Because they are humans too. And because they played their part in creating and advancing the society (most often than not), we need to take care of them. Also, at old age most are sick and weak and require assistance. Do we abandon them? As humans the answer is no. As animals the answer is yes. Let the weak ones die of leaving a strong virile population.

Then when we look at it, most parents will want to be taken care of by those they know and are cofortable with. Just as a child would rather be taken care of by its parents, then be sent to a foster home or raided by foster parents.

So why the main reason for the propagation of the species is not so that they owe us a debt to take care of us in our old age, it is just reasonable that WE DO THE BEST WE CAN.

While a few feign it to come across as saints and angels, we must realize that in the real sense they don't lie or didn't lie. Many have had horrible sexual experiences.


Most of them have horrid first sexual encounters with guys who are practically ignorant about sex and how to get a woman ready for sex. Her mind, spirit, soul and body. To the average male it is climb, suck her boobs like pure water once or twice, play with her vulva like you are checking if a fish is rotten, penetrate, thrust, come and then jump down. High level of ignorance and idiocy. The most annoying thing is you will hear these men blowing their own trumpets about how they are studs that can go for hours.

Men should note that when a girl finally allows a man to touch her, most of them (the girls) have had very bad experiences. The guy climbs on top of her and fires away. Causing her great pain and discomfort.

I have seen idiots who were talking about the girl they had sex with and how she screamed and cried and how it was sweet for the girl. They go on to talk about how they banged and slammed and drilled into her and how she was shouting, when minutes before she was saying she didn't want it. Chai, Whenever I hear this, I cringe and pity the girls. Most men are so stupidly ignorant when it comes to sex. They feel getting on and pounding away is what make sex sweet for a woman. These same men get dragged into performance enhancing drugs and all that. They ARE MOSTLY IFLUENCED BY PORN AND THE ACTING. The porn stars pounding away, the women moaning and screaming and feigning/faking pleasure so you buy their tape or visit their sites.

Some are having sex with a lady and she is a virgin. These guys will rudely penetrate her. Causing her pain and bleeding. It becomes a messy affair. They are not gentle. All they want to do is pound her and pound her roughly until they ejaculate and then hop down. They don't even know the difference between a groan and a moan. A face squeezed out of pain and a face made out of pleasure. They don't ask for feedback. They don't make the girl feel free and less shy about being naked before them.

How do you want a lady to classify such an experience? So in my opinion there is some truth in it. They don't like sex because over 90 percent of the times they've had it, it wasn't pleasurable.
They groaned under the pain and intense stress of a man untop of them and pounding away oblivious of their own sexual needs. Most have never been properly made love to. Most men are ignorant. And even after a bad first sexual experience, the next few experiences are also horrible. They guys just want to mount, thrust and ejaculate. Most of the men are so addicted to ejaculation that they think of nothing else.

Now after sex, men also do not know how to make the lady feel loved. They don't hold her. They don't hug her. They don't caress her. Nothing. They pound away, ejaculate and roll off. Some run to take a peak at their phone camera they had set to video tape the act. Some simply show in their countenance that all they wanted was sex and the girl can start leaving their house. Some stupidly show the videos to their friends. One foolishly showed the blood stains from the girl to his friends, who then went about telling their own friends, until it led to shaming this girl. It was a bad stigma for her and she was psychologically scarred for a long time afterwards.

Sex starts with pre-intimacy. And pre-intimacy starts long before sex itself. At times, hours before the real deal. The sexual act itself is important. It goes beyond having a stiff penis and pushing it into a woman. So is the postplay/afterplay. She must be made to feel good about it. Note that this has nothing to do with being a simp. Naaaah. You make love to a woman, please make her feel special afterwards. How did you validate her that she has done something special?That she counts? What attention do you give her?

It is so bad, some men don't even know when ladies fake their orgasms. Most ladies moan out just to stimulate the mind of the man so that he feels he is doing a good job and it encourages him to ejaculate so they can get off from under his sweaty body. The men themselves have big ignorant egos that if a woman tells them she didn't enjoy it, they feel attacked. They take it personal. Also if she tells them how she likes it and her sexual preferences, they will call her w hore and ask how she got to know these things if she was such a saint.

Men ignorantly believe that they are the ones with the right to have sexual fantasies and preferences. It has been proven again and again that women do too. The society does not allow them air these. Some want to make love in a garden. Some want it under the rain. Some want to role play. Some want it outside in the dark. Some women like it rough. Some like it hard. Many preferences and many tastes. BUT WHAT DO THE MEN DO? THEY APPLY THE SAME SOLUTION-CLIMB ,KISS ONCE OR TWICE THRUST, COME AND GET OFF.

Now I am not referring to commercial sex workers. Those have been able to completely make sex a money making venture and this has overriden every other pleasure. They don't even want to the pleasure if possible because it can be bad for business. They don't want to get attached to you. They might not see you again.

Love making/Sex is an ART and a SCIENCE. We need to note that there are little things you do to a woman BEFORE, DURING and AFTEE sex, that when she is alone and she remembers she will smile to herself. Even if she disobeyed her pastor or imam father to be with you, she will smile to herself when she gets home. She will want to be alone in her room and relive the experience. She will smile,roll and toss all over the bed biting her fingers and wondering how she didn't know she could enjoy the act, react like a possessed demoniac during orgasm and enjoy the cuddle and kisses after the act. When you ask such a woman if she enjoys sex, she will be shy to answer. And if she says no,it will be with a "lairs smile", you will just know she is lying and trying to make you see her as a saint.

Keep writing.

You will eventually improve in areas like the plot, suspense, build up etc.

Eventually you will get better at writing captivating pieces.

Well done.