₦airaland Forum

Fellow nairalanders, please I need advice from matured minds in this group.

I'm in a two year relationship with my woman, we're both working. I'm 34 while she's 27. My montly salary and commision is over 200k with other side hustle i do that bring in funds for me, i also just got a car i want to register with bolt/uber to still bring in funds in my free time.

My fiancee on the other hand is earning 75k monthly. I take good care of her needs and makes sure she doesn't lack anything I can afford.

We both plan to settle down by December.

Sometimes last month she missed her period, after the test we discovered she's 5 weeks pregnant.

I'm against abortion because of the dangers involved in the aftermath, i suggested she keep the baby while I come and see her family and do some necessary things before the main wedding. But she insisted in aborting the baby, reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.

She has aborted the baby and had complications because of the quack nurse that performed the abortion. I spent a lot to make her back on her feet

I'm gradually losing interest in the relationship cos that single act of her. I've kept this to myself.

I just need advice on how to handle this. Cos I'm already fed up with her with her recent disrespect and the way she talks to me anyhow even in public.

For her to av aborted against your wish, I'll say you should move on from her.

I pity her future husband.

That banny day hide something from u boss..he fee be say no be u get the pregnant.

Bros I no dey vouch for woman oo. But to the best of my knowledge she's not seeing someone else. I might be wrong though.

tightpuna:
That banny day hide something from u boss..he fee be say no be u get the pregnant.

uzomakanaki:
Bros I no dey vouch for woman oo. But to the best of my knowledge she's not seeing someone else. I might be wrong though.

You're still under her shackles, so, I'll reserve my advise.

At 34, you still believe your Nigerian girlfriend is not seeing someone else
Married women staying with their husband dey hawk kpekus like Tom Tom, talk more of ordinary girlfriend.

I think you need exorcism first. No amount of advise can save you.

I'm not saying she's cheating on you, but if she really did loved you and saw a future with you, she wouldn't have done an abortion.

Maybe the baby was not yours, I don't know.

Read my last line bro.. you can keep your advice

Zonefree:
You're still under her shackles, so, I'll reserve my advise.

At 34, you still believe your Nigerian girlfriend is not seeing someone else
Married women staying with their husband dey hawk kpekus like Tom Tom, talk more of ordinary girlfriend.

I think you need exorcism first. No amount of advise can save you.

First, I am not against abortion, my mantra being, my body my choice, but aborting without your consent is indicative of other things she's likely to do in the future despite your lack of consent, and that's beside you already being "fed up with her with her recent disrespect and the way she talks to me anyhow even in public".

Think of it this way. Imagine the "car I want to register with bolt/uber to still bring in funds in my free time" decides to break down whenever you carry passengers and disrespects you anyhow in public, would you keep it instead of getting rid of it and buying a car that does what you want and respects you?

The answer might be yes if you are broke and can't buy a new and better car or somehow don't deserve one, but if you can I'm certain you'd do what you ought to.

uzomakanaki:
reason being that she can't be pregnant and be working. Unless I place her on a monthly salary.

so for the past 2yrs, you didnt know about her above state of mind?! so she just disappeared one day and came back in the evening telling you that she aborted OR she told you exactly when she will do it, and did it?!

.

She disrespected u enough to go against ur wish
Apart from that she has d tendency of putting her career ahead of you or ur proposed family
Think twice

Once she is back on her feet! Dump her

MrBrownJay1:
so for the past 2yrs, you didnt know about her above state of mind?! so she just disappeared one day and came back in the evening telling you that she aborted OR she told you exactly when she will do it, and did it?!

her above state of mind was not known to me until she got pregnant. To be honest with you when i met her She was the industrious and independent type of a woman which attracted me to her. I still can't explain where the sudden change came from. For the abortion I she didn't tell me when she did it, i only knew about it when she started developing complications.

uzomakanaki:
her above state of mind was not known to me until she got pregnant. To be honest with you when i met her She was the industrious and independent type of a woman which attracted me to her. I still can't explain where the sudden change came from. For the abortion I she didn't tell me when she did it, i only knew about it when she started developing complications.

the job she's doing I also got it for her after her Nysc.

U better run from her

Since u adviced her not to abort but she


There is a tendency that she might have complications when married

uzomakanaki:
her above state of mind was not known to me until she got pregnant. To be honest with you when i met her She was the industrious and independent type of a woman which attracted me to her. I still can't explain where the sudden change came from. For the abortion I she didn't tell me when she did it, i only knew about it when she started developing complications.

You should have told her that if she got an abortion, you're calling off the wedding.

Foodqueen:
For her to av aborted against your wish, I'll say you should move on from her.

I pity her future husband.

Yep.

If she didn't want a baby, why didn't she protect herself

uzomakanaki:
Bros I no dey vouch for woman oo. But to the best of my knowledge she's not seeing someone else. I might be wrong though.

u r wrong bro.

1Sharon:
You should have told her that if she got an abortion, you're calling off the wedding.

didn't want to be too harsh cos of the condition she was.

really/

uzomakanaki:
didn't want to be too harsh cos of the condition she was.

She didn't even have the decency to tell you she was going to get an abortion.

uzomakanaki:
her above state of mind was not known to me until she got pregnant. To be honest with you when i met her She was the industrious and independent type of a woman which attracted me to her. I still can't explain where the sudden change came from. For the abortion I she didn't tell me when she did it, i only knew about it when she started developing complications.

- so you guys never had a discussion about pregnancy, even though you had unprotected sex?
- eventually, you dodged a bullet since you now figure out the type of woman she truly is (aka a woman you dont desire to build a future with). so why dont you jejely accept that she aint the one and move on with your life?

MrBrownJay1:
- so you guys never a discussion about pregnancy, even though you had unprotected sex?
- eventually, you dodged a bullet since you now figure out the type of woman she truly is (aka a woman you dont desire to build a future with). so why dont you jejely accept that she aint the one and move on with your life?

totally out of point

uzomakanaki:
totally out of point

- so you guys have been together for 2 yrs and you didnt know what her thought was about pregnancy?!
- so after 2 yrs, you just found out the type of woman you had, but never thought about it before while having unprotected sex with her?
- now you found out the type of demon she is and instead of running from her, you want to find ways to stay with her?!?!?!?!??!
- what about JEJELY WALKING AWAY FROM HER?! have you thought of doing that?!?!

your story makes very little sense...

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wtfih.gif

Whoa

MrBrownJay1:
- so you guys have been together for 2 yrs and you didnt know what her thought was about pregnancy?!
- so after 2 yrs, you just found out the type of woman you had, but never thought about it before while having unprotected sex with her?
- now you found out the type of demon she is and instead of running from her, you want to find ways to stay with her?!?!?!?!??!
- what about JEJELY WALKING AWAY FROM HER?! have you thought of doing that?!?!
your story makes very little sense...

https://www.reactiongifs.com/r/wtfih.gif

you don't need a further explanation bro

Someone got rid of your own child without your consent and you're here asking for advice

uzomakanaki:
you don't need a further explanation bro

Take anything from a woman but not disrespect..

I can even forgive a cheating partner.. but u see disrespect..in public.. I don't take it lightly at all.

My wife I married 2yrs ago started disrespecting me of recent.
I scolded her about it .. she promised to change only to resume again..

One night I beat her black and blue..
Called her father to come and Carry her daughter that I am no longer interested in the marriage..

Na pleadings and plenty abeg them take settle us with stern warning that such disrespect won't happen again going forward..

Morgan9:
Take anything from a woman but not disrespect..

I can even forgive a cheating partner.. but u see disrespect..in public.. I don't take it lightly at all.

My wife I married 2yrs ago started disrespecting me of recent.
I scolded her about it .. she promised to change only to resume again..

One night I beat her black and blue..
Called her father to come and Carry her daughter that I am no longer interested in the marriage..

Na pleadings and plenty abeg them take settle us with stern warning that such disrespect won't happen again going forward..

bro why will you beat a woman? Is it not better you guys go your way?

What other advise are you looking for...?
I just know it's very hard to advise someone who's in love

uzomakanaki:
you don't need a further explanation bro

Go your own way na, what is even wrong with you this man. You want to start a family with this kind of lady in your life. Omo na wa for people o ;

Abortion? Clean her history