₦airaland Forum

An average Nigerian guy wants a woman that will be good in cooking, housekeeping, babysitting etccc... but when a woman wants a man that will be able to cater for the family financially, she will be termed materialistic. ..

In Obasanjo's voice, commot jooor..



Ok, to answer in line with the Op, I understand some women place alot of attention on their material needs but it's their business.. some women like showing off unnecessarily... some like keeping up with latest fashion trends etccc... it's their life!

After buying the form, how do you handle school fees and other expenses?

Congrats bro.. Your hardwork and perseverance paid off... may you continue to soar higher!!

mayGodhelpme:
Thanks I appreciate. I wanted to leave earlier this year,it was my dad who said family members and friends will think he was the one that chased me out. That is why am thinking of relocating abroad

He doesn't have to worry about that, you ll just tell relatives you desire to be on your own and not cos of any disagreement. ..

Your abroad runs, hope it's legit? Not one you'll spend money on, only to be given a tourist visa...

Also, make sure you secure your inheritance before leaving. ..

adeoti01:
Marriage, I detest the institution with passion....

Seems you have been very unlucky with relationships?

taryour:
It is NEVER POSSIBLE !!! If there is a couple that don't have misunderstandings in 1 year then they are harbouring hatred in themselves or having extra marital affairs, they will soon kill themselves.

.. are you serious?

praxs:
still waiting for yourcomment mam

So you haven't still made your decision after 4months? Are the two jobs still waiting for you?

Anyway, lecturing it is for me. .
Job security, career progression and work-life balance. ..

4reala:
@op, u got me more confused, I find it difficult to comprehend wether its a reported story or personal story, though u said its ur friend's at d start, but along d line u..........

Whether it's hers or not, drop your advice if you have any!


Op, if the transport expenses isn't included in the salary breakdown, then he should approach his boss and sort things out... He shouldn't feel apprehensive about it because it's his right except the employment contract stated otherwise. ...

Shell even organises Graduate recruitment(s) annually, what about other oil companies Total, Chevron, Agip etc, how many times have you seen their graduate recruitment? ?

lilmax:
Nobody can take care of your child except you

Op is here saying she can't believe what the mother is going through, nonsense

Continue hiring maids, your career is more important than your child

Maids are not nice as you see them, they are bitter (lack opportunities) so don't expect the best from them

What if her income contributes significantly to the household expenses or that she's even the breadwinner?
Sorry, I think our men should improve in the areas of housekeeping, they should help their wives with domestic chores, gone are the days when only men worked, women's income are very impt these days... Together, they can find a way of tackling chores without any third party....

Ewwooo ... I can't even imagine the pain the baby went through. . Such wickedness


If husbands can start helping their wives with chores, stuffs like this will be minimal or even eliminated.. but No they won't help, they'll rather watch football or read newspaper. ..

Nothing sweet pass husband and wife doing chores together
No room for a third party in your marriage. ..

Btw, did this happen in Nigeria?

Congrats OP... wish you success at your new place of work. ..

The recharge card part got me, I think you have a good heart..

What's weird about the couple please?

Paulonice:
my girl is given me attitude....am suspecting smthn fishy, bt she is not opening up to me.....wat should I do? commit suicide or move on?

You really want to take your life cos of someone else? Is that how low you value yourself? If you kill yourself, she will continue her life jejely, nothing spoil..

Please move on.. There are better girls around. .

nevanevaland:
Found out last night.
That's d major problem! How do I know am not in danger of std! Or worst scenario, d girls realise he's just using them (2k, Wat sorta money is dat?) n decide to use juju It's a sad story honestly, he's even sleeping wt divorcee n married woman. I think he's deranged.
Can't believe I didn't kill him before daybreak!

i understand how you feel but You have to calm down please, hurting him will make the issue more complicated.

Firstly, just talk to him and see his reaction. . If he's repentant, you may decide to let go and give him another chance.

Don't tell his sister(atleast not yet). I personally don't support bringing third parties except when both of you can't handle the issue...

The number also called me... it's spam...
A lot of people have also reported it as spam on true caller. ..

So no dstv channel dey show this match? Ndi ara

Pastors' children are just like every other children. . What is it they do that other children don't do?

People just expect too much from them as if salvation is for pastors and their families alone!

Give me an example of what pastors' children do that every other person don't do....

Why single them out? Work on yourself too... salvation is for everyone. ..

Also, not all pastors' children are bad just as not everyone is bad....

Iamthewatcher:
no be lyk dat, maybe I sounded so brash but I just stripped my case bare for all to get it. I used dt olodo word to get her on her feet and be ready to learn.

And that's the best way to correct someone you love?
Does she correct you by being insulting to u?

I really pity that lady.. You practically control her life.. You want her to be this, you want her to be that..nawa oo.. Are you perfect yourself? That lady really has no say in that relationship...

A refined girl is who fits you best, let me see how you'll control and talk to her like you do to this lady...

If this news is true, then it's definitely Chevron group not just Chevron Nigeria. . How many workers do they even have in Nigeria to be sacking 7k?

ibkgab001:
Cool no more bragado for my cousin with big head

Even if it affects him, he will get another wonderful job so get ready for a heart attack. .

Bad belle.. You no go hustle for your own..

coogar:
the husband has never used illness/sickness not to contribute financially to the family. why should the wife hide behind illness to avoid responsibility?

if she's really sick then she should call her mother to stand in for her while she's recuperating. the house must be squeaky clean at all times.

Mother ko, grandmother ni

Mindfulness:
You can trust people, husband or not, but you should never depend on them. Trust is useful, dependency is harmful. If you trust people without depending on them, you are self-sufficient and nothing can do you. This is the difference.

So how can I not get hurt when a husband who I trust cheats on me? Or are you saying trust doesn't hurt people? Only dependency does? I really don't the difference btw the two as regards the issue we're talking about. ..

You're saying trusting your husband and not depending on him will prevent you from getting hurt when he cheats on you?

My opinion is that either way, you'll still feel hurt and betrayed. ..

EfemenaXY, I have gotten your message.

Mindfulness:
It is not unhealthy to trust your husband, it is unhealthy to depend on your husband.

What's the difference between trusting your husband not to cheat and depending on your husband to be faithful?

EfemenaXY:
Exactly!

Now you get my point (almost there).

Now, how d'you think it'll sound if someone says, "No, I can't discuss this topic with you because we've got differing religious (or not) backgrounds / beliefs"?

The point I'm trying to make is that learning how to express your opinion in such a way that cuts across religious beliefs is a sign of a good debator. I.e. irrespective of your religious afflictions, you should be able to level with anyone and not just a particular sect.

Your message here is flexibility right?

There are times I compromise but unfortunately I can't do that on this matter because as a Christian, the commandment is clear.... So I told mindful it was better we ended the argument because she can NEVER convince me that adultery isn't sinful and I may never convince her on my stance too... besides I didn't want to talk too much then. ..

However, I get your point but I must also tell you that you can NEVER make an opinion that will suit/cut across everyone.. people must always object. .. There's no one shoe fits all...

Mindfulness:
If the wife develops HBP because her hubby is cheating, then there is a serious issue and it is her UNHEALTHY dependency on another human being, which can NEVER work out fine.

Driving a car can kill you too.

It's unhealthy to trust your husband?

Really, as cocoandy said, if what you're doing hurts another unjustly, then it doesn't measure up...


I gotta run now, will come back to reply any further mentions. .

EfemenaXY:
Your last paragraph contradicts your first.

This isn't about religion but about differing perspectives. Personal opinions, some of which are based on religious beliefs.

Okay let's try this. Assuming the cheating partner here is a woman:

~ Some religions believe she should be stoned to death.

~ Some believe she should be publicly flogged / beheaded

~ Some believe she should be eviscerated prior to being burnt alive

~ Some believe she should be sacrificed to the gods

~ Some believe she should be driven out of the community / thrown into the river with a stone (or dead weight) around her neck

~ Some believe she should be left alone for Karma to deal with

So how do you reconcile these differing opinions, bearing in mind each proponent believes his / hers is superior to the others? How do you determine who's is superior without being biased?

D'you get where I'm coming from?

Nawa o, this our argument no go end today..what have I got myself into?

I don't think I did contradict myself. ..

I understand your question, you want to know how I handle differing opinions right?

To answer you, I don't believe any values/beliefs are more superior than the other.. what I know is that each person will try so hard to uphold his/her own because that's what he/she believes is right...

based on the examples you gave, If I were to give judgement, I would definitely choose one applicable to my community as the most superior because that's what I see as the right thing. ..

However, my judgement may change later if my mindset changes..

That's why I said before that it's ok to have different opinions because we see things differently. .. but coming to an agreement may be impossible except one decides to change his/her perception...

Mindfulness:
I truly understand.



Killing is against the law. Adultery and polygamy are not. A lady that dates a married man, dates a person who has got a free will and can say no.

You don't know adultery can lead to killings? Via HBP, depression on the wife's part.. then, via STDs on either or both spouses ....etc...

byvan03:
I believe it's instinctive, if you see an exact replica, you will just know. If you can recognise your face in a picture, you certainly will know .

hmmm. Alright, thank you. ..

EfemenaXY:
But this isn't a religious debate though is it? Nor is this thread a religious one. You brought in the religious angle as your form of defense / supporting argument. Hence my asking you how you handle differences of opinion for those who don't share the same religious convictions as you, or better still, for those who haven't got any religious afflictions.

My dear, this has a lot to do with religion. Infact, it has everything to do with it... God alone instructed us that adultery is sinful...
Most people here will judge the topic based on their beliefs. ..

Christians will find it sinful.
Whereas free thinkers/atheists may not see anything wrong with it. .....

Mindfulness:
We have finally found some common ground.

What you agree with is ONE of the reasons why I am against blaming someone I don't know for something my spouse did. I can't expect everyone in the world to have the same set of values and belief system as I do. I can only agree with my spouse on it and hence only blame my spouse, if at all.

Another reason why I am against blaming and fighting some stranger is the fact that it will neither help me nor my marriage. It is energy wasted.

I agree but some things are just sore to the eyes..

If we can excuse ladies that go out with married men because they do what they think is right, can we also excuse boko haram et al who are doing what they think is right?

EfemenaXY:
So does this mean you can only hold down arguments with people who share the same religious convictions with you? Isn't that a tad bit limiting? But more importantly, you don't get to air your differences of opinion because there aren't any in the first place - not if you share similar opinions and think alike.

I can have arguments with anyone but when it has to do with religion, I will back out because we can never agree... We have totally different beliefs and that's ok...

Nobody can convince me as a Christian that adultery isn't sinful. ..

You can only reach an agreement when arguing with someone of diff belief if one of you isn't so rooted or convinced about his beliefs. .