₦airaland Forum

nicko28:
Me too I did the same surgery 8month ago, is painful but there is nothing like complications. Maybe she has some other sickness like Uterus cancer, may God heal her.

Thank you.
Her hair falling off is not from ordinary fibroid.
May God almighty heal her.

SQLmastar:
When she took some doggy styles from a certain Military Abooki General. Words have it that his joystick compares to a horse own

Hmm.
It's like I read something entirely different up there cos no one has said anything about the real issue of this marriage.
Well, my 2 cents.


Op, learn how to forgive and stop holding grudges. I don't know what your wife did with her ex 5 years ago, but like you said, it's in the past. If in the present she is trying to tell you she is trustworthy, it is a below-the-belt hit to remind her of her ex in such situations. For goodness sake your wife is trying to be a better person but it seems you keep bringing up the issue to 'put her in her place'. That's not nice.



Another advice. This one has nothing to do with your story but I felt the vibes from the way you wrote. Bro, allow your wife to win sometimes. Most women don't like to admit that they are wrong or say that they are sorry and there's nothing wrong in putting your foot down and showing her where she has erred, but like the wise saying goes -too much of everything is bad'. Always insisting on your right might build up resentment in her. You may not understand the effects now but in decades to come (your marriage will last longer than that by God's grace) you will find yourself more and more at your wife's mercy, so to speak. Start investing in that future now. Let her win every once in a while.

IgboYorubaHausa:
I acted premature with things I said, but I'd rather not elaborate as she is on Nairaland too

No problem. You don't need to say it here. Sha take the advices here into consideration.

Be a man and move on!

"we had a misunderstanding that lead to me saying things I'm not supposed to say to her."


What are the things you told her?

You know there are some things you will say, words that will hurt, especially if she gave you some information during her most vulnerable moment and you now used it to insult her.... She won't forgive u ever. Women can be like that o. Even if you eventually get married she might still hold it against u.

If you have pleaded with her before to forgive but she's still behaving pissed off then u should tell her point blank that you are moving on. Give her an official break-up and move on. Don't start another relationship without expressly letting her know you have ended this one. It's very important so that if she's just sulking or doing shakara, she will know she has overdone it and needs to stop the airs. But if after u say you're moving on and she still persists in remaining annoyed, guy, move on oh. She won't forgive u later. Even if you beg and beg she might end up accepting u back out of pity. And that can end badly if eventually you two get married.

millyj:
I didn't, i had to Google how to handle a left handed child,I got some good info,he is really doing well

Thumbs up
I don't think I'll ever forget the day my Arts teacher gave me a dirty slap for shaking him with my left hand. Have since adjusted to greeting and eating with my right, but every other thing I use my left hand.

The cameraman na mumu

Instead make he video d action he dey video ground

WiredLeggings:
Baby124, i also don't think she should rule out the MRI, like someone (Prognose) suggested above. the exact cause of schizophrenia is unknown but brain abnormalities are often a culprit, and with a rare type of schizophrenia like catatonic schizophrenia, an MRI is definitely needed. while I'm skeptical whether the Doctors would use the results of the MRI to properly treat him like Doctors in other parts of the world would, it's nonetheless a good idea for them to do it and see what they would find.

i think his sudden onset of this illness is odd too, more so because it occurred after he went to a night vigil. i hope it's not what I'm thinking.

Let me ask you a question.
Let's say she spends like n70,000 minimum (N70,000 that she doesn't have) to do the MRI and an intracranial tumour is discovered. Where will she do the surgery, here in Nigeria? Let's say there's a neurosurgeon in this country that can perform brain surgery competently, how much will it cost? N100k? N200k? (minimum) ? Where will she get the money to do it?
Should the doctors have abandoned her because she couldn't afford an MRI?

Sometimes doctors send patients on all sorts of tests without regarding the power of their pocket. It's insensitive and sometimes unrealistic. I'm not saying the MRI is not important, but is there anything they can do in the meantime to alleviate the patient's (and the op's) suffering? Instead of threatening her to do an MRI or else they won't treat her?

Part of the job of medical personnel is to be empathetic towards patients. The world is moving away from the paternalistic and autocratic approach of ordering patients around and moving more towards patient centred care where the comfort of the patient is paramount. Her not having the money for MRI should not result in them stopping treatment for her brother. That was wrong.


(Modified. Sorry @wiredleggings. I meant to quote baby124. We're on the same wavelength, and I'm not ruling out the MRI completely but I felt it was unfair for them to give her such an ultimatum).

You started the right course of action too late. You didn't state how much you spent on herbal medications. We don't know what your uncle did to him while he was away. A truly complicated case.

Leave the MRI, what are they requesting for it for?
Even if it shows a lesion in the brain will they operate it? Instead of them to sedate him first. Nonsense insensitive people.

It's a pity you are far from Benin. I would have advised you to take him to uselu psychiatric hospital and have him admitted. Don't mention the MRI to them but tell them about his prediagnosed catatonic schizophrenia. I don't think it's as costly as Yaba. Let them know that he is very violent. If u say he's not they will hand him back to u.

Like someone said above, he is not in touch with reality. Schizophrenia is a severe and chronic mental disorder in which there is a total distortion of the person's ability to perceive things. And it's obvious u need help in handling him. He needs to be admitted and taken care of by experts.

Pls don't leave him to roam. He will be exposed to so many dangers if u do so e.g ritualists, kidnappers, beaten by angry mobs, dangerous animal bites, etc.

Flogging him will not help either. In fact it might tilt him unto full scale violence.

Sorry about your predicament. Take heart.

The bitter truth is that a lot of respect has gone out of marriage when it comes to catering for the man. What's wrong in asking your wife to prepare a meal for you? And it's not like preparing indomie is so tasking, five minutes and it's done. It's not like she was busy, she was pressing her phone and browsing instagram.


Women don't respect men as much as they used to. They will call it women speaking out, women rights, but its tearing families apart and building unneccessary resentment. If the man is doing his job providing and caring for you, why can't you as the wife reciprocate?

OK if she was tired why didn't she tell the maid to assist? Is the needs of the maid more important than the needs of your husband?
And I assure u, if she was the one that wanted the indomie, she would have ordered the maid to make it asap.

It's a pity.

Well oga, I don't know how you run your home. Suffice to say, the world has changed. You can become more stern and more demanding so that your wife does not take you for granted or you can swallow it and adjust. As long as neither of you hold any grudges about it, well and good.

You have been infected with hepatitis b virus. You are either naturally immune to it already or you are currently suffering from the illness depending on your current state.

My advice? See a doctor.

Abeg make dem go siddon! Na she first start to disrespect the uniform? Politifcians wey disrespect the whole nation dem Neva give them query

Bluestreams:
Profile: 10yrs old Nlander, Postgrad, 32yrs old, 2 yrs old in marriage with a 1yr old son.

Pls kindly read patiently and advice me if I am wrong and also what to do if my spouse is the problem. Thanks.

I got married as the first child out of two and my family (mother) really supported me financially. At this time, I didnt have any salary job neither do I have any contracts running as I do pest control and landscaping services and other small legal hustles. I met my wife who is a civil servant and we fell inlove and I never hid my financial or employment status from her. Shortly before my wedding (I was also job hunting for a better job) I got an interview in a top oil and gas firm in the country by insider recommendation, and being the only one invited I felt I've gotten it. My fiancé started telling her sibs that I'm already a staff which I frowned at because I've not received any appointment letter. This she was doing in "faith" anyway. Subsequently, I was never called for that job again and by this time we were already married. Prior to this time, I got a slightly less than 50k job in a bank and after a few months my fiancé pressed me to resign athough that job was stressful and in another state where I neither had family nor friends.
We got married then the issues began.
I noticed my wife is the type of woman thats slow (I'll not use the word lazy). She cant keep up with my pace when we walk, she can't clean the house daily, she'll prefer I do the house chores while she watches tv and all. We were in honey moon so I didn't have a problem with that, and more over I enjoy such chores and I am a good cook. By this time her salary was dropping and we were living on it coupled with whatever income that comes from me from my business (my wife isn't stingy with her funds and neither am I).
Our problems started when she became pregnant just a months after wedding. She became super slow due to the preggy and I had to do like every every due to the initial sickness and all. Also, I noticed my wife doesn't know how to talk to people. She isnt rude or insolent but she can argue blindly and just keeps talking. She talks too much and doesn't know how to ignore things. She will say she likes speaking her mind, even though I adviced her that she will have lots of enemies by that lifestyle.
My parents live in thesame town with me but hers are in the village. If things gets a bit rough I do visit the family shop and pick things on credit and pay later. This happens only when I'm low on budget.
After our honey moon, my wife refused to go back to work (her station is in another state) although she has been complaining that she doesn't like the job (her father helped secure it). Since she couldnt travel she kept calling the offixe and they were still paying her, only for some of her seniors whom she isn't in good terms with write against her and her salary stopped coming in. By this time I had to up my game and started husting harder. God another low paying job which didn't last and I continued with my biz. I lost the job because of lateness due to taking care of a pregnant wife and so on. In fact I lost 2 other jobs of same nature and wasn't bothered because they pay was very poor anyway.
When my wife put to birth, my mother (as hers is late) asked her to stay at our family house for a week,so she can look after her because I was still working at this time and my mother's business and other engagements is just around the house, my wife refused. Infact its not the refusal that touched me but the attitude she put up. Shortly after then I needed to relocate to a new aprtment and asked her to go over to the family house with the baby so I can move things which she did and the outcome of that visit was a heated quarrel with my mother. She accused her of telling my church members not to visit her after childbirth (my house is very far from the church) and even though it was a lie and I told her to shut up she kept on talking so many trash.
At home I cant talk to my wife and she keeps quiet. The will tell me to shut up to my face and one one occasion I landed her a small slap which left an eye bloodshot and this ended the shutup episode. Often times, if I talk she will raise her voice.
Four months after my wedding her father called me sounding angry and asking me why my wife is still with me, my she hadn't gone back to the state where she works, I overlooked. Some months back laye last year, he repeayed theaame thing and even dropped the phone on me and just a week ago it happened again. My wife have refused to go back to work saying she will rather start a particular type of biz (which I'm trying to setup for her) but her family is talking behind my back all manner of absurd things.
My wife and I have been having our own bouts due to her attitude. I dont talk to neighbours again as she confided in one and laid bare exclusive family secrets and they had a quarrel and in front of my landlord, my neighbour spilled the beans and I felt so ashamed. My wife's salary has been stopped for over a year now and I have been solely the bread winner. I even got a car recently and uses it for transport to support other income.
My wife can nag about everything, she can wake me by 3am over petty things so I stopped sleeping in our bedroom and now sleeps in the guest room. If shes angry she'll not wash plates I eat with. This is someone I always wash her clothes and my with the machine since I married her. But she can hardly do same. If she cleans the house its favour and she'll keep murmuring. If we have an argument she'll start shouting, abusing my whole family and stuff.
This morning we had a quarrel and my wife told me I cant even take care of my family to provide for her, talking how she's leaving (she always tells me she'll leave and I've made it clear I'll gladly wait for that day).
I have been thinking about everything myself, since I married things have not really improved. Maybe I really made a wrong choice or rushed things (as I now believe), so I am planning on sending her away soon and them take me dad and kinsmen to her father (as is the culture in my place) for him to either caution his daughter or take her back because I might really injure her out of anger one day.
This is my last effort to save this marriage . I have only slapped her once in 2 yrs.
I feel I should seek matured advice from experienced people here as I know I might be right in my own eyes.
I really don't know what else to do.
PS: I'll answer any questions you might ask me. Forgive any typo. Thanks.

I read the whole thing.
You're not alone bro. The problems you're having is the same kind of problems married people have at this stage of their marriage. This is the setting limits stage. This is where you both draw the line on things you can tolerate and things you won't allow no matter what. This is the stage where you show the kind of man you are and your wife will likewise adapt as a woman. Your problem is nothing out of the ordinary that others in these phase of marriage have experienced.


You didn't see all these flaws in her initially because you were deeply in love with her then. You may have even noticed some of these things but pushed them aside. But now the euphoria of love have gone and both of you are seeing yourselves live and direct. It's not a new thing bros, trust me.

So she nags. Almost all women nag, some nag worse than others. It is kind of your job to be patient with her as the man. Pls try and control your temper, this is what will make you matured and will separate u from being a boy. When she shouts and talks ceaselessly find a way to leave the environment or ignore her, depending on the type u can do. Over time she will learn to control herself.
Her controlling herself and reducing her nagging and your not getting enraged to be slapping her shows that you are both coming of age in the marriage and are understanding each other and becoming mature.


Do you want her to go back to her job? Remember she is pregnant (for the first time) and in a delicate and scared state. She is quite vulnerable right now with the changes going on in her body. Your job at this time is to be as supportive as you can. I don't mean you should become her slave but try and give her more rope when she misbehaves. It gets worse at three to six months of age and then she should start returning back to normal.

Set a boundary for her father. The fact that he has cut the phone on you once is enough to piss you off. He's not married to her, you are. If he calls again tell him politely that this is your family and you have your own plans for your wife. If you don't have the mind to do this then u can just ignore him instead. This is your wife now, he should stop butting in.

Find a job for her to do, no matter how little. Also don't give up on yourself. Every married couple went through this stage, it is those that come out of it that last. If you break up now, what's to say in your next marriage u won't break up again at the first sign of difficulty. Your a postgraduate man, you should be more mature and patient bro.

Find an older married couple you can talk to for advice. Not online o. A respectable married couple or couples preferably from the generation before ours let them tell you what they've been through themselves. Marriage is hard work and the more work you put into it the sweeter it becomes.

Cheers bro.

Help me ask them o.
Even babe of six month go dey form 'I suffered with him'

These girls are not beautiful na

What's number 5?

Ten06:
It happened to me today when I was watching adult content on tumbir

Tumblr has adult content?

luminouz:
No bro....U check ursef!
Why on earth would I see a complete stranger n get a hard on?? It means she is a sexual object n not a person....I need to know her a little before my diick starts nodding!!!!
BTW...am a booty fan yet I have rejected women with booty but bad attitudes...... So wtf bro

Everybody's libido (and age) are different. You're lucky.

Romerocollins:
I just tire for that lady ooooo, who tell her say pre-cum comes immediately a guy have an erection, she is a woman and she does not know how man body work and there she is opening her mouth so wide and talk, she think man penis be like toto!
A man can touch his penis and still pick something and eat but Women can not.

Make una free d babe.
It's obvious she's a virgin.

Daniel2289:
They even look alike.

Nice one.

They look alike cos they've been exchanging genes

She should have shown the face of the man who engaged her at least so we'll know she loves him more than the ring

Wait oh.

So no one can realize that this story is completely fake???

What's the purpose of the last pic? Isn't that pic contradictory to your message?

Hahahahahaaa!!!

The zombies look funny abeg

Kudos for the guy skewered on spikes how did they do that?

Hmm.
Strict man.
Commendable.
If it is a true story.

balosunky:
na cold dey catch her , come on be your neighbor keeper

I don off AC for am sef. She don dey press phone now... Na wa oh... I wanted sleep...

austyn0:
Go to the door, lock every lockable, return and UnCloth till you're stark naked, then lay on your bed, that's how you tell her.

You want her to see my

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm......

Goodlyhrt:
I cnt believe at 23 I still dey fear fear... C'mon rats dey give me race not to talk of going out at odd hours to urinate nor sleeping alone in my room.



How many are we?

You'll stop fearing once u get married.

Hmmmm. Somebodi dey fine my trouble...