₦airaland Forum

The man is good. I suspect a situation where your friend refuses to give him the divorce when that time comes for him to get this papers and remarry his first wife.

He goes home to his wife every night! Naturally he will slept with his wife as well (if they're still doing it).

I guess in this situation the wife puts up with it because of what he sold to her/what is at stake. Is there some kind of amnesty that they can both claim?

And your friend is a bit too trusting to see what's under her nose.

I must have asked one question 2ce.

Why I asked those questions is that. (I don't know how it works in the states) but he was able to divorce his wife in the US. In Germany, you have to have your papers before you can even get a divorce.

Do you not need some kind of work permit to be able to work in the US? (Both of them work). If there is a work permit why divorce his wife and marry someone else?

If the children are teenagers, I also assume they have some sort of leave to remain in the US?

If all the answers to these questions are affirmative then, I am looking at a man who is having cake and eating it. The wife must be very docile to accept such and arrangement. What do the children think about this?

Ok I have a number of questions.

1. Is the 1st wife in the US?
2. How did she get to the US?
3. Are the children in the US?
4. How did they get to the US?
5. How long have they been in the US?
6. Do either of them work?
7. How old are the children?
8. Do they both work?

I'll ask a few more but if you can answer these first, I will direct my question accordingly.

Alakoba, Ofe kan mi leyin.

@J-Girl and codeRED, this was supposed to be a mature discussion as getting what you want without nagging and now it's turned to another man bashing session.

Is this to make yourselves feels better by bashing men.

How many "men" know what it means to have a grown-up discussion? Abeg, 3/4 of them aren't even grown. You are forgetting, having a 6inch d.ick, doesn't in anyway contributes to ones maturity. So maybe you will need to restructure that baby girl

He was here a couple of months ago when Adedibu died and he was on the phone to Nigeria organising a bus load of rented supporters to go and weep at Adedibu's house. So those people celebrating are rented supporters. How come all of them were wearing the same clothes (according to you guys anyways, I didn't get to see the spectacle)

I didn't get to meet with him because I just don't regard him (He's a thief, like a lot of people like him).

True talk lidbb2. I don't know about just being emotional because we can't keep using that excuse against the women but as they get older the need excitement turns to the need for stability. Surely the "bad boy" cannot be responsible enough to provide a stable marriage.

This has always happened and will continue to happen,

He needs the challenge and she is not offering any excitement. Long story short, he is bored. We are human, just that some people place a lot of importance on some kind of excitement being with someone.

topup:
Your ex may want you as a back up, maybe that's why she wants to be friends.

Your answer right there from topup. I deleted everything else because its irrelevant. If it doesn't work out with the other guy she'll come running back. Or rather she would like the friendship to fizzle away according to how happy she is in her new relationship. If she is not happy I guarantee you she will attempt to come back to you.

Actually those were rented to come and celebrate with the big thieves.

Haha brilliant write up. But sadly this is the reality of what is happening.

The people who actually kill themselves because a somebody left them are men, Because they cannot "talk" about it with their friends or they're devastated. It's not manly to cry or even diss the woman that left you. It takes longer for the guy to let himself go and longer to recover from it. Good or bad I don't know.

That is not to say women do not love or love deeply. How can anyone say that? What I also learnt is that by the time the woman leaves she already checked out emotionally from the relationship so she is not as heartbroken by it not working out. Perhaps months before, she already decided I'm gone so she's just looking for the right time to end it (and divesting her emotions) but before she does, there's someone else in the picture. We call the "monkey effect" A monkey will not leave a tree branch until the next one is in its grasp. It comes as a shock to the guy. Usually she has been hinting that she is not happy with something but the guy dismisses it as not important.

A man probably truly loves at most 2 or 3 people in his lifetime but a woman can love more deeply with every relationship even if she has 6 of those.

The last part is what I read a while back so not my experience

So guys, shine your eyes if your woman is complaining about something (not nagging) especially when she says she is not happy. Talking from experience here.

onyinye2:
Hmmm. . . . strangely i find your cynical post quite entertaining.

You say that you are no longer this so called "Jew man"

That you have acquired some level of "wisdom" over relationships.

So you enter relationships cautiously, so you don't go back to your old ways.

Try to be a step ahead so you don't get stepped all over when you lady says she is doesn't feel you that way.

It's not as calculated as that

Experience tells me because you have no clue, you throw it back at me to enlighten you,

And what is my type young woman?

So because I refuse to take the crap some women dish out I am now a hound dog? I don't know how you came to that conclusion, but all that tells me is that you're young but you'll learn

Yes I raise my hand, I was a schlepp many moons ago. I was the jew man, the nice guy. I thought being her friend she could see how i felt.


Thank goodness for wisdom and eye opening

KarmaMod:
eldee, are you saying a girl can't be merely friends with a dude or a dude can't be friends with a chic

The "friend zone" guy is that guy because he's a great person, cool to hang out with, can discuss anything but the chic doesnt have any sexual feelings for the perons. No sexual chemistry, no sparks. Better off as friends

or should people be forcing relationships because it involves opposite sex?

I think the issue is because the girl knows the guy likes her but she doesn't actually tell him she doesn't feel chemistry. But strings him along to be her friend. In this time she uses him as a proxy boyfriend with him being the boyfriend. This guy obviously being a mugu thinks if he shows her how good for her he is, she will let him be her boyfriend. But it's never going to happen.

But then some of these guys are so out of it that even if you tell them the girl doesn't like you like that, they think they can convince her because this is the first and only girl that might actually give him the time of the day.

The ladies that cheat for adventure (a lot do) and those that cheat because their needs are not being met are equally as guilty of being weak. Abi mo puro?

syren:
Bottom line is I don't believe in any of that because at the end of the day we all have different priorities, and that certainly isn't one of mine.

Fair enough. So do a lot of men and women.

@stillwater, yes very much so.

@Prove that men cheat more than women. Give me absolute concrete proof and I'll drop it,

syren:
Does that ever really happen, me thinks not, most of these men that cheat weren't exactly virgins when they got married were they? Like you said hormones always win.

If you've been there done that, then nothing shakes you anymore. As a guy I want to sample as many as I can. Sometimes you're of the mindset, been there done that at times someone comes along and you just have to talk to her. If you've been there done that, it makes it easier to settle down. A lot of people both male and female who are unfaithful didn't sow their wild oats.

onyinye2:
What world do you live in? I mean seriously!! This is the upmost bizzare thing i have yet to read. So hormones are what controls your logic? Please don't even bring in oxytocin into this debate because it is nothing compare to your male hormones.

Just like we cannot understand why you guys can be emotional one minute and be fine the next minute. I would never excuse cheating because it is wrong but why don't you get a dose of testosterone to know what it feels like.

Some men are weak and some men are strong just like some women are weak and some are strong. In this day and age, both sexes cheat as much as the other. I even think woman have it covered because they hold the power to the box. Go to ivillage and there's a section for "my affair" with fellow women supporting each other for cheating.

Wow, another 25K for you my friend.

We have to understand why he's not had sex yet, Yoes you can get sex anywhere but at the same time you can't.

He might still be a virgin out of choice or because he's not confident and cannot get a girl. If it's out of choice, then kudos. If it's because you've never had a girlfriend, then don't wear your lack of confidence/desperation on your face. Women can read that miles away.

Whatever you do, do not be pressured into doing it if it's not time,

Na wa o, RIP Isaac Hayes,

Shaft is my favourite Karaoke song. I guess I have to perform again sometime soon.

onyinye2:
Money can't buy:

Real happiness
True Love
Sincere family
Complete fulfillment
etc.

Are you trying to tell me a woman can provide all of these things by default?

There are tons of men out there who can do without women. Men who have got nothing but grief, men whose lives have been wrecked by false accusations from women, men who if they don't chase the women the women will not even notice they exist.

Those men can and have done without women.

Get over yourselves. Some men can do without women.