₦airaland Forum

heemah: no prob..maybe dos of stayin in ilorin cn travel together on d 1st of sept. God's willing

Yea, dat'll b awesome..
Wia in Ilorin duyu reside??

Omisore ñi ε dibo fun..
9 political parties on 9th Auqust..
*finqers_crossed*

#OsunDecides

heemah: yea...wea u at??

Ah live in Ilorin too, Asadam to b precise..
Currently in Abj for my call-up letter
I'll b in Ilorin nextweek..

heemah: i tot we cud talk to d kwara express drivers to take us straight to camp..

Come oo, am i lost or sumfin..
Kwara express ke?
Do u mean u quys are in Ilorin city??

Bootybuttchic: go johr...mistakenly tot it was ur wife.....jumped to comment

Owk, am going

Bootybuttchic: OMG!! ....OP U Killed me with lafff....dis post made my day..,,ur wife shld be real fun ooo ......any ways
#TeamNatural


future husband wherever you are be ready to actually face this




#teamnatural

lmao, my wyf?? Lyk serzly??

Yea, she'll be real fun tho..

bellonzee: am from zamfara

qot it..

rationalmind: Lol, make I gist una small wetin transpire between us.

The guy say make I con church(BLW)

I asked if he'll follow me to my father's shrine.

He said it depends on what he's going there to do.

I asked what I'll be coming to the church to do, he said it's to worship God.

I then told him he'll worship my father's god with us. The god of iron.

He said he might not be able to come because.....

"whatever reason you have for not coming, consider it my reason for not following you to church" I said.

Ah wasn't expectinq less from you, if d quy is d type 4my area ehn, im for don mark u by nao & he'll kip cominq back..

Owz camp & ow r dose soldiers treatinq u?

^^ ah hear u, u cant be scared inasmuch u r frm d north..
BTW which northern state r u frm..??

macuwon: While on d line... A dude jst approached me to invite me for church fellowship.. I jst directed him to rationalmind.. Lol

U did the riqht thinq bro..
Jst hope d quy wont die of shock after RM outpour..

bellonzee: after d camp at niger i wont hesitate to go to adamawa i will never say no to God's decree

Hhehehehehehe, the Lord is your shepherd bro..

"FEAR NORTH"

Valentinooo: My unfeigned appreciation goes to God almighty for his provisions, protection, guidance right from the time of 200days, 100days, 50days to go, the gists, fights, flirts, jokes etc. Even after some of us fell sick it didn't knock us down.

Double twale for my oga seun osewa for creating this platform connecting different intellectuals, with resplendent and effulgent future coupled with their great charisma together under the umbrella of B14. May God bless your hustle bro.

And to my oga yokiti, you're highly appreciated bro for the loads of undiluted and first hand monumental info you kept giving the house. I pray that God will continue to protect you and grant you your heart desires. Success and God's favour I wished for you in everything you do.
Thank you very much bro, we are very grateful.

And to my fellow corpers Smeeky, meeky, samguine, cutiepie01, Prixxy7, zerray, whytjane, GodsFavourite1, Hisexcellencie, Skateboard, sokarsenal, macuwon, kcee, Ojestas, Rhazur(now the Result has finally cancelled all the insults), Cleoqueen, Lorddaywalker, DrPhilABd, TiffanyJ, Miner13, Rationalmind, Rd2010, Highmey, Okikpo, Azyd, Ifyzo, Suyamaster, Darkchocolate, Hamzeiy, REDBUNNY, Siegfried, Buksich, ajasa4link, bioduneberry,
Gaetano, opeyemia, sugarkemi, olaoyekemi, AdaEkube, yorex2011, Richydos, SignorOlamy, Ewiss, heemah, Gbajabiamila1, Fluffy22(wishing you a safe delivery ma), kennykg, ENIMONEY, moshmod101, mikedimeji, adedeii65, Cutekemitola, sokarsenal, HuckleberryFinn, sowl, sweetyEse, chykmoni, aircom, Footlocker, adonismuller, AngelaHamza, debygirly, Ptoocool, AnosikeChibueze, nifton, kinth, Easyjay(my very good friend), ismolicious, honeydear, ikescope, osemu8, Jimwalex, bentonmaye, Bacteriocin, tnuola, emenik08, jamanuka, karleone, and lots of others I don't remember to mention, you guys are wonderful. I pray that God will continue to protect n guide us in all our dealings, after service I pray for very good jobs and a great means of survival for everybody. Wishing you all success, prosperity, God's favour in everything we do; successful, injury-free camping and a safe trip to our various camps.

And to those of us in stream2, let's continue catching the fun and enjoying ourselves until it's our turn. So wishing you guys a happy enjoyment

And to my fellow niggas in C14, we appreciate you all for your contributions and God bless


Missing you guys already and wish we could meet one day.
Thank you all for your contributions and wishing everybody journey mercy to our various camps.

Long live Federal Republic of Nigeria.
Long Live 2014 batch B corpers.

Triple twale for u baba mi..
*tears drop*

Thank God 4 dose wey don land dia destination, as for those wey dey comot 2mao, ah beq God 4 journey mercy for y'all.. AMEN

Less ah 4qet, kindly update us wif d dindindees qoin on in camp oo, thks in advance..

#TeamAdamawa, yes Yola..
Una qood eveninq..

MizMyColi: Dear ptoocool.....kindy state your source as I've read all naija husband's story and I know this is his 2nd latest story.

Thank You

..............except you're naijahusband


Oh! & btw

#TeamLongNaturalHair

Here you go http://www.naijahusband.com/2014/07/08/married-woman-natural-hair/

merciie: Very funny, I can totally relate to this. Tried to go natural last year, got fed up and gave up

Don't give up yet, give it one more shot..
You never can tell, it may look much easier dis tym around..
Its an awesome feeling going natural..
I'll advise you to try and relate with natural women, they'll offer tips and advice you on what to do, all the best..

When you’re married to a woman with natural hair… or a woman who wears her own hair…or a woman with any hair at all to be honest, you have to grow accustomed to certain things.
Let me try to list a few..

1) Watching her Bathroom Turn into a Mad Scientist’s Laboratory
On any given day, NaijaWife, when not harassing me over my television watching, will disappear for hours. Once I don’t hear her asking me “ what are you doing?” I know that means she has locked herself in the bathroom again.
I remember the first day I walked up to her bathroom door, curious to hear what was keeping her so long. Smoke was coming out of the bottom of the door, and I think I heard some screams.
Moving closer, I could hear voices inside the bathroom (which I later realized were the faint sounds of a youtube video) giving her the following instructions:
*.Add 1/2 cup of castor oil
*.Add 1 tsp of lavender oil
*.Add 10 drops of peppermint oil
I thought she was making a secret batch of candy until I heard the next few steps
*.Add 10 bat’s eyes
*.Add 1 goat’s head
*.Add the white feathers of a dove
WHAT was she making?! Herbal medicine? A witches potion?
Nope.
I may be exaggerating about the ingredients, but it turned out she was making yet another “team natural” concoction. Week after week I noticed she’d go through the same process until one day she came running out of the bathroom screaming:
“AT LAST! AT LAST! I”VE DONE IT! THEY SAID IT COULDN”T BE DONE! BUT I PROVED THEM WRONG! THEY WERE FOOLS TO DOUBT ME! I FINALLY MASTERED THE “SHEA BUTTER COCONUT MILK CHERRY BLOSSOM TREATMENT!” HAHAHAHA!
AT LAST! MY GREATEST CREATION IS COMPLETE! SCALP OIL!
Then she stuck her hair in my face.
LOOK! LOOK! JUST LOOK AT THAT CURL DEFINITION!
I don’t know what curl definition is. But I have learned the hard way to just smile, pat her on the back…and not ask her why her hair is smelling like amino acids.
She’s happy. That’s all that matters.

2) Watching my Wife Contort Herself into Strange Positions
No, not sexually. Hair-ally.
One day NaijaWife was shouting my name from the bedroom. Expecting that she was in trouble I ran quickly only to find her hanging upside down off of the bed.
Me: “Did you slide off?!”
NaijaWife: “NO. I’m doing the inversion method.”
Me: “The what?”
NaijaWife: “It allows the blood to rush to my head, stimulating hair growth. I need you to time me for 3 minutes. Then help me lift my head back up slowly.”
Me: “I have a better idea.”
NaijaWife: “Oh really? What?”
Me: “Do pushups for 3 minutes instead. That will make your hair grow faster.”
NaijaWife: “REALLY?!” *as she scrambled to get back up*
Me: “No.”

3) Saturday Nights Are Not Date Nights
They are for her hair. Saturdays belong to NaijaWife’s hair.
Me: “Let’s go out today.”
NaijaWife: “Nope. I’m washing my hair.”
Me: “OK but it’s only 12 noon now. Will you be done in an hour?”
NaijaWife:
Yeah that’s not going to happen
Me: “Um…will you be done in 2 hours?”
NaijaWife: “I’ll be done tomorrow morning.”

4) Rude Comments from Outsiders
I’ve watched my wife deal with strangers and even colleagues asking her stupid questions like
“Won’t you go and put relaxing cream in your hair like the other ladies?” - A man said this to her.
“What makes you think nappy hair like that is professional?” – A woman said this to her. Apparently it’s a common problem.
“Why do you carry the same hairstyle more than once a week? Can’t your husband pay for you to go to the salon?” – A few women said this to her.
“I don’t know how you do it. I couldn’t manage my hair like that sha. It’s just so…wild.” – She probably gets this comment every week given the way she reports it back to me.
So being the husband of a woman who proudly chooses to carry her own hair (most times), I’ve had to learn to be supportive and make a few suggestions for replies to such rudeness. For example…
“Won’t you go and grow some balls like the other gentlemen?”
“My hair is more professional than your attitude. Which is clearly why you’re still job hunting.”
“Why do you repeat the same stupid questions every week? Can’t your husband pay for you to acquire some manners?”
As feisty as she is though, she hasn’t yet used any of those retorts. She just walks away, then comes home to tell me about it.

5) Spur of the Moment Purchases
It’s a good thing she has her own budget for random expenditures…because we would probably fight if her product addiction came out of the household budget.
Me: “You bought something today. I just know it.”
NaijaWife: “Maybe…”
Me: “What did you buy?”
NaijaWife: “Conditioner.”
Me: “Didn’t you buy some last week?!”
NaijaWife: “But this one had really high reviews on naturallycurly.com ! They said it would make my hair shine. All I need to do is sit with it in my hair for 6 hours and it will permanently change my life!”
Me: “Did they also warn you it would permanently change your pockets?”
Her weaves aren’t exempt either. When she changes it up and wears weaves or braids (I know the difference now) I have to adjust accordingly and simply do the following:

6) Ignore When Your Wife Pats Herself on the Head Furiously
The first time she did that, I thought she was berating herself over something.
Me: “Darling…why are you hitting yourself?”
NaijaWife: “Oh no. I’m just scratching it.”
Me: “Why don’t you just scratch with your fingers?”
“NaijaWife: “Well I can’t reach my scalp through this weave….plus it doesn’t look nice to be scratching it.”
Me: “Do you think it looks better to box your brains out?!”
This does not look nice Ladies. Please.

7) Don’t Question the Exorbitant Amounts
Not that NaijaWife does this exactly. But she likes to suggest it every now and then.
NaijaWife: “Babe…I’m thinking of investing.”
Me: “That’s great! What do you want to invest in?”
NaijaWife: “Peruvian hair”
Me: “Eh? A Peruvian hair company?”
NaijaWife: “No.. a bundle of Peruvian hair. Or maybe two bundles… They say you can use it over and over again.”
Me: “Does a Peruvian come attached to the hair?”
NaijaWife: “No…..”
Me: “Yet you consider it an investment?”
NaijaWife: *Thinks for a while*…. “Yes.”
Me: “Then by all means. Carry on.

Get Used To The Secret Group Meetings
Me: “What you up to today?”
NaijaWife: “I have a meeting.”
Me: “On Saturday?”
NaijaWife: “Yes…with some girls.”
Me: “What kind of meeting?”
NaijaWife: “Em. Hair meeting…”
Me: “You mean the hair salon?”
NaijaWife: “No…natural hair women’s meeting.”
Me: “I see…when will they hold one for the husbands of women with natural hair?"

k`..

lovelyngeee: U didn't hear abt d news? Check very well,kano will hav their orientation camp sumwhr else,I dnt remember..u might nt step foot dere until d end of ur service year

Ah bet d quy qon be happy hearinq dis..

Hmmmmm..

Uncle Jona, we don hear u..
Pls tell us more..

Ola0luwa: I understand you but we will be given the redeployment form to fill first week in camp. that's where you can request for a state you wish to be posted to, back it up with your reason. ours is simply "security reason" but should it happen that there is no space for corpers anymore in the state of your choice, NYSC will assign one to you randomly.

They better do cos ah still cant fathom d fact dat dey could actually post corpers to serve in dose troubles states in d first place inasmuch as dey knw we cant camp dia, dat showd dey demslves knw d implication of sendinq innocent souls down dia..

They beta redeploy us all oo or else... Kini kan aqba owo aqbado lowo won oo..

Guess we've qot no choice dan 2report 1st to Niqer state 4camp den fill form 4re-deployment straiqhtaway.. Wishinq us all the best..

heemah: me too! im just lamentin snce yesterdae...u nod yo see d box am takin to camp..av bot evryfn i nid..av plait ma hair sef..na only pocket money n call up letter i dey wait for before dem troway me go adamawa or wetin dem dey kal am...doe i didnt cry buh e pain gaan

Be like say hv qot α partner in crime oh ah mean partner to camp..

Leqqo, #TeamAdamawa

kα̲̅γ̲̣̣̥, God don answer dis quy prayer, wetin bin hin name aqain??
Dem don post mi qo Adamawa, yes Yola..


Abeq who dey 4llw mε qo here, abi na only mε dey waka qo??

zerray: biko do u knw the post office in gwags

no ah don't, maka qini??
U wan mail ur kal_up leta 2me?

Barryp: Please all graduates are required to go online and register with this site. Please inform any graduate you know to go online and register with this http://www.tan.org.ng/onestar/register.php?id=114816 if successfully selected, the government will be paying them N30k monthly for 1year. Companies, organizations and institutions can also register and interns will be sent to them, while government pays the interns 30k. Please spread the news: its a job opportunity. Its real

*yimu..

Conqratz to err1 who don kolet dia kal_up leta..
As 4 dos of us wey neva see our own, conqratz in advance..


kα̲̅γ̲̣̣̥, wetin brinq mε here b say ah neva hear any news bout abj yet, abeq wetin dey qo on 4 unibuja..??
@Daninya1 wia art thou??

Una qood afternoon..

If dem no employ enqineers na who dem con employ??
Well, dat 1 na story for d qods..

So na surqeons dey do surqical operations on our equipments all dis while, no wonder it has been on and off..quess dey jst 'lost it'

Olekumaster: naija workers, na only salary dem sabi. Even if they are amatuerd in their profession, they still want money increase

You qo work no collect money lah..
If dem no sabi salary wetin dem qo con sabi?

9ja no dey carry last abeq..
Always reppin..

Buqan in Yoruba lanq means Bread..
kα̲̅γ̲̣̣̥ Abuqan will be aBread..


=))•´¨) 
¸.•´ ¸.ℓoℓ •*¨) ¸.•*¨)
‎​=)) ¸¸.•´=D(¸.•´(¸.• =))



Kudos to her, wishinq her all d best..

Lyk seriously, some qirls are thinkinq that
Ebola is another Hit song like DOROBUCCI,
they've started chanqinq their names to
Ebolasexy, EbolaDiva, Ebola Pearl,
EbolaChic, EbolaDuchess, EbolaCutie. Etc..

Abeg someone should inform them
that Ebola na disease o!!

Una qood afternoon..

AMADU77: i agree sir

but its not Arik that stop flying !! its Liberian authorities that block and close all border to stop Ebola thread

i don't think business people gives a $hit about our lives

Yea, u riqht bout bizness pipu..datz why itz called bizness..