₦airaland Forum

aysnoopy:
My current situation is really affecting my mental health.
My mom is getting old and I'm his only son out of her 2 children (I and my elder sister)
I'm yet to take care of her despite all her struggles during my study in the polytechnic

aysnoopy:
Despite my writing limitations, I hope you'll overlook any errors and focus on my message. I completed my civil engineering studies and finished my service year in November 2016. I'm based in Ibadan.

In February 2018, I secured a connection with the zonal director of a federal government agency, leading to a casual staff position with a monthly stipend of 20k. The initial plan was to gain an advantage for future employment opportunities. By around 2020, the salary increased to 30k.

After three years with the agency, I learned about an upcoming recruitment in 2021. Despite seeking assistance from my boss, the zonal director, she didn't provide the support promised. Although I continued working and searching for other jobs, success eluded me.

In November 2022, my boss retired, and the new zonal director pledged support for my education, leading to my admission into a HND to B.Eng conversion program at KWASU. The sponsorship continued under another new director, but my concern persists due to the stagnant 30k salary, supplemented irregularly with site visit stipends.

Now faced with the decision to quit, I ponder whether to risk unemployment and search for a better opportunity or endure the current job's limitations, considering my advancing age. Despite ongoing self-improvement efforts and learning civil engineering software, I seek advice on whether to pursue a new job or maintain my current position during the B.Eng program.

Correctbro1:
Yes. So another guy can fill up. You too don chop enough

Marvyx:
Women only love men for what they can provide. Simple.

Jeon:
Op you're right on this, but some people will still disagree 👎 with you.





As if he won't get it from someone else, or leave the moment she declined.
This can come as a surprise to see him choosing the one giving him regular sex over you building with him.



I learned from people's Relationship.This thing matter no concern me

Life is full of colorful fun for us to be deceiving ourselves.

GreatAchiever1:
The whole point of being in a relationship is to know the mentality, ideology and character of the opposite sex and see if it matches what you are looking for, and also be open about what you want. But it seems everyone these days is in a relationship for their selfish reason with their own sinister motive behind it.

motymop:
why are you running?

You are in a federal government job, why arent you patient to climb the leader and reach the top, everything takes times

Why run to the uk and be stagnant

Building your career in your government job is better than moving to the uk. in the UK, you will be stagnant and wont get social network and career progression like you do in Nigeria

Eveeything takes time but i will rather be in Nigeria with my federal job, move up the ladder, improve on myself, build my social network, retire and get a good pension

why waste your time in the Uk living an average life

Benki003:
Find sure 2 odd that's 400k

Solofresh2:
Add more money because I don't think that money can start any tangible business except if you want sell akara for junction

Talkisneeded:
Every country with her own Achilles heel, but nothing is worser than hardship bestowed on humans by fellow humans..
Na humans dey deal with humans for naija.

I sell herbs for sexual enhancement tho

Stevenson20:
New year gift from APShit

Las las everybody must get sense in this corntree

Nackzy:
Let the looting continue

Rich4god:
Continued....

One Saturday, me and another neighbour just came out from our compound, only to be hearing shout from those boys that "we can't do them anything, that we don't have the right to tell them not to stand at the front of our gate, that if we do anyhow, we go see anyhow". We just neglected them and went away.
Later on, I learnt that our caretaker warned the mother to tell her daughter not to be standing at the front of the compound with those guys. So obviously, the girl went and told the guys about it that's why they were raking.

On the on Friday, 22 Dec, I came back home to hear the news that the girl have been arrested in connection to a stolen item and even though the item have been found, it was found in a bad state and the owner is insisting that they pay him for damages before he can withdraw his case. Police are saying that they can only release the girl if we pay the owner the money his requesting for,as the boys claimed the item spoilt at the girls hand, but for the boys, they will be charged for breaking into someone's residence to steal an item.

Now the mother have been begging us to help her raise money to pay the owner of the item as she doesn't have enough. But our caretaker is saying that none of us should donate a penny to her.

I just feel as though we should help her, but all the other neighbours are buying the idea of the caretaker that we should stay out of the case.

F117nighthawk:
The many youths your have ruined and destroyed their future through your poverty induce government and policies is far more worse than the hard drugs u are talking about

LooneyLester:
Imagine being a Christian



The root of degeneracy and fággotry

Rikze:



Nothing is well. Stop giving yourself and others false consolation.

matrix199:
You no see money chop, you starve com lose weight, you call am achievement?

slaawomirr:
Damnnn niggar

Ain't got no regret

Ddonoflife:
If they like they should borrow from heaven all I know is they are not leaving this earth with shishi.......Naija don taya person if no be borrow,na devalue or kidnap or rape etc

JayTripz:
Omoooo
Naija ladies don cast that's why

Any girl u say hello to now

Hmmm....The problem too many

'ohhh my grandmother hav not eaten since yesterday' ohh my gas just finished, ohh I need to get something can u please...... omoooo it's too much

Nazgul:
No wife material anywhere. Na olosho full market. My mama don nag me taya say make I marry.

Hopefully by 2024, God would favour me and I'll settle down.

israelmao:
It will only be new year with new dawn for Nigeria if Emilokan and his cohorts stop their financial recklessness and ready to let go their comforts for the good of all.

StrongAlphMale:
Such things only happens to a SIMPLETON!

a parasite and a liability who contributed nothing to his success would come and manipulate him into cashing out massively all because of an over used damaged kpekpus.

SIMPs are endangered species to our community, they deserve to be arrested, persecuted and executed

JoeEeL:
Good but very unsustainable gesture.

A 4 or 8-year presidency by Obi may only bring a reprieve.

A complete dissolution and dismemberment of this nonsense called a country and the ultimate definition of new borders around indigenous communities is d first step in d right direction.

I want to warn my Plateau friends, d moment fulanis gain significant number in ur place, its almost over.

U see how arrogant they are, claiming they are indigenous to Jos. That is d same way these riff-raffs claim to be indigenous to Ilorin, proper Yoruba town o.

Reminds me of Nnamdi Kanu, d wise sage, that says the clinging onto One-Nigeria is d stamp of your demise.

Ire o.

omoredia:
Peter Obi is just the best. When we get sense we go make u president without inec sef

AqualinaXYZ:
The legends APC miscreants mocked has moved on with their daily balling




While Tinubu is showing his supporters pepper



Thank God Eyeneck rigged in Tinubu



If Obi was the president we for no hear word on how Tinubu would have turned Nigeria to New York within an hour



My president( I’m not talking about Tinubu) go flex abeg

FanRong:
I'm sorry, this post is going to be a long one. But you're saving a soul if you read through and advice candidly.


My story
We've dated for 6months and we've lived together for the 6months.

On our 3rd month, I found her interesting and told her I'll like to marry her. She accepted but no engagement ring or anything to show. We just accepted by word of mouth.

Since then, I've worked towards it. I've told her to call her mum and eldest brother(dad is late) to relate my idea and understand their feeling since it won't be that easy to marry. (same state, but my people and her people are highly selective in marriage)

After several persuasion, and threat that I'll throw her out if she doesn't relate the circumstances to her family, she called the mum. And again I had to force her to call the eldest brother. She claimed she did. And that's enough. I'm ok.

Meanwhile, there's this guy(her ex) she claims helped her when she came to Lagos. It was when I started accommodating her that I found out in her chats that she was living with this guy, but lied to me she was living with her Aunt and the aunt's husband was harassing her sexually and she wants to leave. She later told me the guy, though provides for him but has never had sex with her, even when she was living in his house. These stories doesn't move me since everyone, who is not a virgin has an ex. So I forgave all that and we moved on.

She wasn't everything I need in a women, but I told myself I could train her the way I want. We continued adjusting to each others likes and dislikes.

I feed her this 6 months, provide comfortable shelter, buy her things she needs,(not want). Told her I'll do more and open a shop for her, if we get married, but she still confronts me asking why should I wait till after marriage? . I didn't allow the words move me cos Its my decision and my money and also, I'm used to gold diggers.

A good number of times, I see her as being selfish. If things doesn't benefit her, she'll not get bothered even if I'm involved.

Just this week, It became obvious to me that she argues everything I request her to do. From 24th Dec, we've been on holiday, we're always at home.
1. I'll wake her up at 9 and ask her to prepare breakfast for the family, she'll prefer to roll on the bed than do it. I'll finally have to do it myself so I can get things done and get busy.

2. I detest girls on eye lashes. I've repeatedly told her how I dislike it, but when she went to fix herself for the Christmas, she fixed the eyelashes, Contrary to my demand.

3. I got her some sneakers to upgrade her fashion style and look smarter, instead of the usual slippers and sandals she wears.
When we prepared to go to the beach few days ago, I requested her to put on the sneakers to look more fashionable, but she refused buttressing that she must wear what she wants, sandals.

4. Few days ago, we had a heated argument and she said that if I'm not happy that she's living with me, that she can go, afterall, she has somewhere to stay. I asked her to go and she immediately called that her ex bf to come to my house. I immediately swung into action, took all her belongings out, before the ex will arrive, at the same time, retrieving the items I gifted her.
While she was struggling to have her gifted items back, our neighbours heard the struggle and had to come and settle for us. She apologized and I forgave her. we were back into the house.

5. Just yesterday , we left home together, and I locked the door and I took the keys with me. We walked down the street together to the Busstop, I have almost no friend and seldomly greet. But there's this my ex girlfriend by the roadside, she saw me and yelled my name, I went to greet her and my Fiancée picked offence, left me without waiting for me. After that I chased her and told her it's nothing because I've told her everything about this ex.
Before we could get to the Busstop, she demanded for the house keys and I gave her since she might come back earlier than me.
We couldn't say bye. The anger was clear on her face and we parted ways.

After about 15mins, I got to where I wanted to make payment for the items I picked only to notice I am not with my transaction phone. I was confused where could I have kept it, the seller insisted I may not have come to his shop with the phone, and the phone rang as I called with my second phone. so I had to call my Fiancée for assistance since she's with the keys.
At first, she said she was still around the Busstop but when I told her I needed her to go home and confirm my phones whereabout, she said she can't go back that she has gone far, shouted on me and hung the phone.

I called and called and called, but she didn't pick. Many thoughts ran into me. Who took this phone? My money? , my phone? , my sim card? . I had to find my way and trekked back about 4km to the house since I had no cash with me. And finally saw the phone ringing in my house. I was relieved.

The way she shouted to me on the phone got me unbalanced, I felt she would be fire if I get this girl as a wife.

We finally traveled to our home state today and I paid the bills for the traveling. My major plan of traveling was to see her people and do the needful before I mistakenly get her pregnant. But I'm seriously contemplating of canceling this plan and throw her out come January. I need peace.

Dear nairalanders, I'm really in the middle of the deep blue sea and the devil.

I need mature and candid advice please.
Should I continue with the marriage plans or the redflags are obvious?

DrAda:
A couple of years ago, I would have said nothing but recently, I had cause to stay at home all by myself for nearly a day and I learnt a valuable lesson. Loneliness kills

Nazgul:
It depends on individual preferences. For some it's Companionship: Not everyone wants to remain single forever. At some point in your life, you'll need a companion you'll want to share your life with.

For others it's for Financial Benefits As crazy as this sounds, some people try to upgrade their financial status through marriage. Not everyone wants to remain poor forever most especially when they're aware that marriage can cure their poverty state as well as the poverty in their entire family lineage.

For some it's for procreation. Having your kids grow with both parents present is something everyone wants. Not everyone buys the idea of baby Mamas. Having your wife or husband stand by you whilst supporting the kids emotionally, financially, religiously...etc, is the dream of most people.

For some it's for Safe Sex Nigeria is a religious country and we were brought up to believe that sex outside marriage is fornication. So some people get married so they can have sex with their partners without having to sin against God through fornication.


And for the records, God doesn't care if you marry or not. After all Jesus didn't marry. He's only concern is that you live a life free of sin. A life that would glorify him.

mbaise1000:
He who comes to equity must come with a clean hand, we don't know where it started but I know that the curse of a criminal will not kill another criminal, I know that a soldier or anyone who dies on his way to kill others will not rest in peace.

inoki247:
Lol Dem don run you local so they've collected Processing fees or 499 GBP from you....


Like this you won't scale through the background check you will loose the 499GBP den dey will unleash another layer of the Format where they will ask you for another money.

With what I'm seeing your said friend might even be the ring leader...

Bkuz people in UK too are running people in Nigeria scam av seen several people been scammed from UK by dere buddy people no get fear of God imagine scamming someone who earn in Naira....



I just hope the desperation of you people that wants to Japa won't take away the little you're supposed to be using to enjoy nd lead una sef to depression....

Prec1ous:
If you cannot see the scam here, then go back to school

First, you can never get all those documents not even in a working and well civilised environment.

Second, they are prepping you up for more payments. You will pay till your dwindling resources will open your eyes to the scam.

Forgo the money lost now before you start chasing a unicorn.

By the way, here is the scam...

You will always fail the background check because you cannot get all the documents or you miss your deadline. So you Forgo the first fee.

They will then gauge your stupidity and tell you to pay to bypass background check, then tell you no more slots.

If you are still stupid, they will invent a customised format just for you.

Sorry