₦airaland Forum

It's normal in Nigeria, a married man will approach a young single female in preposition of a relationship. It's not even hearsay any more most young black females in these parts will have been approached by a married Nigerian man.
They even go for school girls, when they reach for slightly older ones they sell the story of being separated but not divorced, the moral fibre they claim to have remains invisible to me.
I think it's more humiliating for the women married to these dogs than it is for the other parties. Some women even encourage such nonsense it's sickening.

Your husband should be your friend, that is my belief anyway, how do the married keep friendships separate?

I don't think your husband is a recluse simply for the fact that he talks, goes out and laughs with his friends, I'm getting the feeling he doesn't like you very much or he's having an affair. I agree with jenny, you should go for councilling, if his attitude continues to bother you and refuses to change take some time away from him maybe that's what you need. You can both appreciate each other more.

it happened 29 years ago and is still fresh in your mind, this is very sad indeed. Try to recover from it, some say it's a life long process, it is rap.e in that it takes soo many things from you, not just your virginity, your pride, your self esteem, your confidence, your dignity. Hopefully the culprit will respond and apologize, and even confess his sins given a chance, but if he doesnt I agree you do what you feel is right by you. You've been wronged, it's only fair you resolve it.

^^ LMAOOO! the embarrassment! he probably thought it was exotic. I think America has poor international relations too, so it's not excusive to Nigeria alone.

I believe the problem is that senate's have a local influence given they are closer to the people than the presidency, this might encourage the idea that they should be compensated frivolously. What Nigeria needs is a watchdog completely independent of the government to set regulations on the excessive government spending. I believed the fuel subsidy removal was a result of the world bank trying to encourage austerity measures, why have they never suggested a 100 percent cut in government expenditure? Forgive me if they did and I didn't get the memo, but this government sure has a way of putting the needs of it's people on the lowest point of priority.
How does it benefit the needs of the many when the senates drive expensive cars up and down? Why are we soo foolishly materialistic? We don't even buy things we need. Government officials steal money and buy absolute rubbish! what is this nonsense?

I remember when i first purchased a fancy nokia phone, I cried profusely when it was stolen as if someone had killed my boyfriend lmao!

Now I can't stand it, it's distracting, I never pick any of my calls or pings and just end up ticking everyone off, I can do without my phone forever, the only worry is the aggravation I will get when people start to question me about it.

I have been saying this from day one, it doesn't just apply to the universities, look at this state for example; how does a small state like Ekiti have many state run schools when the older ones are as poorly maintained as the new? This is an absolute disgrace.
We seem to be spending millions that can be put to better on the existing universities, it can be used to expand capacity so the university can take more students, and improve quality which is fast deteriorating! There is absolutely no reason to go about building brand new or renaming schools!

they've turned us into Pakistan this is bloody embarrassing! who allowed journalists onto the crime scene? why is it not sealed off for forensic investigation? what is all this nonsense?

emron1:
this goes to show how incompetent our millitary is, will britain had agreed to a collabo if the reverse where to be the case. Nigeria is just a prideless nation. Common comando stilled rerscue they still fail at it. tufiakwa   ashibakwa nigeria a nwuola

does it not also show how incompetent the British can also be? We can assume since even the british intelligence couldn't handle it that Nigeria has a real situation on it's hands that will require complex measures beyond any military to resolve.

I have long given up on trying to please people with my relationships? Unless these people will pay me I will have no gratification or disappointment over their approval or disapproval in my choice of spouse. If anything it pushes me further away.

If her family are the source of this 'true love' then she should marry one of them? It's very simple- I advise she elope with whomever she finds love, start her life brand new and away from negative influences, when the family are ready to respect her choices they will find her and make efforts to love her husband no matter his tribe or religion.

@op you can pay for your own food? your date will consider you a cheaper investment why should one person pay for everything?

I believe whoever wanted to go on the date should pay, or whoever makes more

anyone can pay, nothing is written in stone-

im sorry but this is funny buahahahahahahahahahah

which Nigerian on foreign soil hasn't avoided the topic of his/her origin like a plague, It simply takes mention of emails from a Nigerian prince, or even of the recent hostage calamity for me to pray the ground opens up at the beginning of discussion. I don't want to be associated with such, it's not a crime. We don't have the best of reputations, we can work on it.

The story makes sense i dont know what most of you are aguing about? The rescue operation involved an italian citizen as well as a british one, the italian government should have been consulted, they are responsible for thier citizens, they have to answer to the familys of the deceased they should have consented on whether they want the lives of the citizens put at risk by trigger happy britons, abeg!

It was a mistake, a very grave one and they have paid the price, hopefully David cameron has learnt that people are different, the aggression and knee jerk reactions to situations may have worked on the feable erratic brits, it won't work on equally aggressive corrupt Nigerians. These rescue operations have been done before, seldom succesfully.

lol- they do seem scared- the hostages had been held captive for a year? Which group had been claiming responsibility all the while? Someone should know?

if this is true then the Brits really need to work on these knee jerk reactions to thing, David cameron has a habit of not thinking things through. The man is actually a bit of a slowpoke if i'm to be blunt.

The whole kidnapping situation has really dissapointed me- not for nigeria (they are used to it) but for britain, when did we grow a habit of dealing with crisis situations all guns blazing? This coalition government seems to be turning us into a nation of trigger happy thugs its sickening!

ritux give me your girlfriends number now now!!! she will be fixing my hair on a weekly basis!!! my life im spending 50 pounds on weave and there are services for 15! i will not miss! contact me asap! lol

lol- people say that. But i know it's not true. No reason for a woman to lose her mind just because she's married. Men dont.

I'm talking about contribution not compensation, leaving the divorce case to one side what reason can a woman give to have a child for a particular man. I know many will claim financial reasons but let's be real, most women don't get paid to give birth so that argument is weak to say the least.
I hear some say a woman will do so to 'tie a man down'. Tie a man down for what? What is she to gain from her pain, talkless of the life long responsibility a child indicates.
Some will come and tell me love- I don't know what this love thing is when I see it I'll believe it but till then I'll appreciate a solid tangible reason.

Sagafag you can sit this one out, adults only.


and if children were as important as you mention- most women won't bother getting married? Especially the Nigerian ones that are desperate to give birth.

just use coco butter, don't worry about the brand any one will do so long as it smells like [/i]chocolate[i] so your skin becomes edible

lol on a serous note- Coco butter is perfect for toned, supple, soft skin.

It's all good, although I have to say this is the least the traffic authority have to worry about in that country.

The state of the roads is alarming despite the fact traffic is incredibly busy, passengers run accross expressways to cross, I've never heard of a speed limit in that country. I've seen a car with no doors and there are rumours that the HGVs don't have breaks (i don't even want to know the rumour is enough to scare me)!
If they can fix up, reduce accidents, build some bridges, make pedestrian crossings safer- enforce mot, regulate the road users more then there is hope. Til then Nigerian roads will continue to be a death trap to it's citizens.

dayokanu:
^^ Any venture can only be worth it based on what you contribute into it.

Going by this alone their marriages are definitely not worth anything. It's not as if everyman brings a mass of wealth to the table, yet the same (more or less) is expected from every woman.
How about childbirth? What has the man contributed to balance that? What has he brought to the table to prove himself worthy of a womans pain?
Unless we want to start comparing apples and oranges the argument pretty much sums itself.

Women place themselves in these situations to conform no doubt, it's a shame these situations are not seen for what they are; a mere opportunity to further objectify them, coherse them into submission and use them to satisfy unwarranted pleasures.

*insert nationality here* men don't deserve half of what their women do for them, they certainly don't appreciate it.

Lol- the worst thing is, even if being single doesn't bother you. Most pastors will make it a problem!

The church really do know how to capitalise on people's misery. You have to give them that!

i agree with the accounting suggestion. Who else is going to count and help launder all the stolen money? Besides most of the richest Nigerians I know are accountants.

Marriage in the way most Nigerians want it isn't worth anything to women.

The women are simply fooling themselves with their marriages.

Kutey- GBAM! #thatisall.

Mutter- my take on
thing
s are completely different to yours. That much we agree on. I can't live off such sentiments. I do not believe it's fulfilling to live in servitude of another. Even if it's your husband. I certa
inly cannot imagine it.

Someone in my life needs this advice sooo badly.

I think the person needs to reflect on how he/she feels and the genuineness of these emotions before approaching the other.

Then just be natural and admit to it, don't expect anything just be glad to get your feelings out in the open no matter the consequence.

Respect the other persons response, it's possible for him/her not to feel the same. Beating youself up about it isn't going to do any good.
Or employ me to do it, I like gettin up in everyone's business

shave everything and let it grow- you've burnt your scalp but your hair roots should be fine.
Don't clog it with grease nd creams just leave it. Wash your (bald scalp) daily and apply a very light moisturiser- or glycerin. That works wonders for hair.

lol- in jesus name i claim it
In all honesty london has to be the best place for study e.t.c the lot.

You can get a job that will pay £7 minimum (i'd advise people to find office jobs) at least one has his/her foot through the door if you decide to stay.
You can use the money you make monthly or your upkeep and use your savings for rent emergencies e.t.c

networking definitely! student unions study groups volunteering everything. Plus for me it was great experience. (Don't network with naija people thats frolicking ) get to know different people from different backgrounds. You can get a job, even if it's telesales or charity fundraising. Most of those ones pay £7- £8 an hour.

I'm always dissapointed when Nigerians decide to flock towards security or care work, opportunities are everywhere, you just have to be at the right place at the right time.

[quote author=c.fours link=topic=881313.msg10295988#msg10295988 date=1330488911]I do not support sex before marriage. but come on it's not rocket science. you don't need to have [i]se[/i]x to see an e[i]rec[/i]tion on a guy.[/quote]Lol- soo true. But the op is religous don't teach her stuff

dare2think:
Lol, that got me laughing hard! Now you are making me feel awkward for quoting such a beautiful line!

Seriously, the purpose of the UK law system is to act as a safeguarding mechanism against a history of women abuse. Honestly, the motives are genuine and responsible. However, just like any other policy, there will be some that will not benefit from such laws. Numerous hardworking Men have been negatively affected by such in ways that have relegated them to mental asylums.

An unfaithful wife with children for instance, have all the odds in her favour, to keep the house and the children ,with some change as well (with the woman bringing lovers to the same house). Cases like this is what I  believe sagamite and co are crying foul for! There seems to be no recourse for the jilted man who might have reached an agreement with his then wife to be a stay at home mom for the benefit of 'their' kids.

Domestic disputes are very complicated and requires a lot of emotionality. I subscribe to the law forcing the father pay money towards the children, and if it means the man paying for the rent his children are living in, its  fair. What is not fair is when the court dont put into considerations the earning capabilities of the man.

Whichever the case, the system is a lot better than 9ger where men have their ways and subject loads of women and kids to years of hardship. We all know this happen. As with the uk law, a lot of insincere women have abused the mechansim created to support them but what can men do? Nothing! but hope to be with a conscientious and respectable woman who will keep her dignity even when it all falls down.

In short, these laws are meant to safeguard against irresponsible men, unfortunately some responsible men have been caught
in-between.

Soo true. Soo long as the point of these laws are understood it isnt difficult appreaciating them.
I would hate to even think of what women are going through in Nigeria with no such laws. In the uk you dont even have to be married to be paying child support, it's deducted nicely from your paycheck before you know it!

Tbh i dont think money makes up for all the famales 'giving' our men have a selfish culture.