₦airaland Forum

tivta:
To the girls who say nigeria has the highest rate of std's please post your source. Its quite clear you girls lack true african up bringing and i wont be surprised if you experience more than 5 divorce in your life time due to non submission. I rather die with std and have responsible children devoid of divorce than have irresponsible children and live till 100.

theres something wrong with this reasoning on soooo many levels ayour claims are unfounded and untrue.
seriously though? but seriously? you will rather die of aids than have your child divorce? Thank you for that, you have now given me the true reason as to why that country is in such a mess, it's full of mad people with ill logic. such nonsense!
now to answer your first question
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_HIV/AIDS_adult_prevalence_rate 3rd place

Seriously? Is the poster serious? Is keeping a husband that important? Your husband seems as useful as a dead dog for a pet.
Seriously i will like to know why women cling soo bad, i missed that memo.

Wow! This is incredibly bad ass!

That's quite rich- given nigeria has one of the highest deadly std rates in africa; possibly the world. You need to rethink your position on the moral highground, Nigerians are in no position to take it, ever!

Has to be the dumbest thing ive ever heard. Meanwhile murderers galavant the country without consequence

moHot:
people keep saying marriage is not a bed of roses
IS IT A BED OF THORNS?

LOL!

taryour:
@ronkebp its not weired at all cos i do the same with his colths cause i so much love the smell of rain so since i cant get a perfume that smells like rain i just go for his natural smell.

that is just sooo adorable- too cute!! awwwww lol

Thank God it's a shared sentiment, its the first time I've admitted to that fact out loud. Wouldn't want the bible thumpers on my head with their quotes.

The term is degrading, *shivers* submissive wife indeed.

ThiefOfHearts:
On NL that's not true. See how moremi is ignoring richy. You think if it were a female member he wouldnt have thrown insults upon insults? The way it works on NL is when the guys argue, they will at most say a few words then ignore one another, if say na them vs a woman, be prepared to see pages upon pages of misogynistic abuses coming from them. Cant fight against their own, why not take that frustration out on the "weaker sex"


That is the cliff notes of Nairaland in a nutshell.

#thatisall!

Bagehot:
Smart man that Prest dude! He's won my admiration! He would certainly be in my prayers - in the mean-while, I'm researching Yoruba customary law.

dont bother yourself, yoruba law is more than on your side- in fact if you are minutely tired of your wife you dont even need to divorce her. the law permits you to beat her with a belt, starve the children and then roll her out of the front door with a rug.
it also permits you to demand she cooks dinner for your new wife before she leaves. it encourages you to insult her well well so she gets the picture.

if you die your brothers can reap all the benefits and your children can starve. Yoruba law is correct!

ok so let me get this straight- to those bangin on about health. If she works, is the baby going to enter back up into the cervix and miscarry itself?

cmon!!

words cannot describe how much I hate the term. . .

It doesn't take much to make the men on nl cry,

Nobody is forced to be married ,so I don't know what the whingin and whining is about.


Desertboom, seriously the last time i checked marriage was not a business. Your not going to profit money. So if thats what your looking for its not for you.

It doesn't even make sense to compare- the law uses that system to prevent lesser earners from ending up homeless and in bad positions just because the marriage went bad. Obviously the richer you are the more you will pay. Doesn't really matter who and who didnt make the money your responsibilities aren't relieved until your ex partner is able to fully stabilize him/herself.

But the advice to all those living in these countries and against it ,don't get married you dont have the right mindsets for it anyways so divorce for you will be inevitable. You will cry blood tire.

seriously you guys need to get over this man, stop making him out like some martyr. Dont forget he led millions to their deaths, starved hundreds of thousands of babies and ended up running for his life!!

He's no mandela, no martin luther- he's not even an obasanjo  

all of you should sit down somewhere!

desertboom:
@queensmith. . . So, this man will gain nothing at the end of the day. Rather, he will be counting his losses.

tbh with you, i think because we're not in his shoes we don't really know how it is. It probably goes to show how much a woman is needed, how important marriage is in spite of all the odds, the benefits to a family. If his money was that important he wouldnt have risked them. He could have just got her pregnant and continued his life abi?

besides, him giving up 20million is not going to make him poor, its going to make him a responsible father and ex husband to a millionaire

^^erm the baby is already born, and grown?

lmao at uplawals post! do you hate us so?

actually theres evidence to prove children of working parents do better in society than those with jobless ones.

2 working parents will bring in a larger income- which in its own way benefits the child positively and influences them towards better choices.

theres nothing to prove a woman sitting at home with a child is doing so for greater purposes, If a man can do without spending soo much time with his child then why cant the woman? Please lets not use futile excuses to be jobless.

^^ well they all know the risk of a marriage failing yet they still do. He must have gained alot to put all his money at such risk. Imo if the money is that important then they shouldn't get married.

i dont even think a prenup saves anything when theres children involved.

look what the cat dragged in, here we go with the lazy theory, if the women are lazy then what are you?

abeg go and sit somewhere not everyone carries the stone age mentality you men love to cling to.

Ftmom makes too much sense. Really. The deal with the unsolicited counsel, i will continue to one wonder.!

But not everyone is confident enough to take on things themselves. Its not as easy to keep things bottled up, im guessin thats why some ask for help. None of us are professional marriage consultants we'll just give our take good or bad.

No you should not, please do not, she never ever wants to hear from you move on with your life and die happily.

Here we go again turnin it into the battle of the sexes. Lets not forget there are more than enough women payinf ex husbands alimony and deducting child support for children they CONTINUE to care for!
The sex is irrelevant, the law works the same both ways.

thatchic:
Stop flogging a dead horse, people need to wake up and smell the coffee. Marriage is a contact and comes with obligations and responsibilities. With a relationship you can wake up in the morning pack your bags and leave and no one will bother you, with a marriage you MUST go through the courts of the land you live in. No if’s or buts’ about it. Alimony and child support are based on the income of the higher earner. A millionaire cannot pay the same amount as someone who makes $60,000 a year. He is required to maintain his ex wife and children in the LIFESTYLE TO WHICH THEY ARE ACCUSTOMED TO. These laws were put in place to protect the woman and kids ( the most vulnerable). In Nigeria I have seen “men” throw their wife out with only the cloth on her back.










The problem is, our orientations in Africa - poverty and suffering has led to our men calculating and weighing up everything against the worth the woman they married - look you can not quantify a woman's worth!!

That is all, the saddest situation is the women in africa uae the likes get it worst, they cant leave. They leave they get nothing, in some countries they cant even work.
I keep saying if we were to place a value on everything the woman does in marriage most men will never marry, most women will be rich!

free me the last thing on my mind is my spelling on nl :p

the talk about death, submitting to your husband, taking care of the children is all incredibly vomit inducing,

can the OP not work simply because she wants to? Does marriage make one lose his/her free will? can she not work because she finds having a career fulfilling and doesnt want to be regarded as the uneducated jobless mother of 3 that lives down the street and has no friends because shes now the pathetic one they used to make fun of?

does the husband have a sensible digestible reason for not wanting her to work? no he doesnt so you all need to go and sit down. what kind of nonsense, one minute she shouldnt work the next she shouldnt get half of his money because she doenst deserve it?
i cannot! op better get her ass a job and pay for the nanny, if he doesnt like it he can quit his and become one!

ileobatojo:
I can’t say that I fully understand the workings of the western mind when it comes to monetary affairs involving the married. I was completely befuddled when I learnt I could not pick my child as the primary beneficiary to my retirement account. If married, you HAVE to pick your spouse! That gave me some insight into how they operate though.

I think this is because (for tax purposes) married couples are regarded as a single person.
If your children were to inherit from it then they have to pay taxes. your right the way some things are viewed here is extremely befuddling, my own problem is the religious aspects.

praetor:
all those supporting the ex-wife have missed an important point, he has offered her a generous lump sum, probably a house or two thrown in and monthly support payments for his children. Her demands are greedy and extreme. Why do you need $1M each year to look after your own children? It is ridiculous. The woman is a certified goldigger who sees her ex-husband as the ticket to becoming the Ivana Trump of Britain. Unfortunately for her, she is dealing with a very smart Nigerian businessman who didn't get to become wealthy by being conventional. I have a feeling that her divorce suit will be tied up for years and that she will have a very long hard battle ahead of her. And from the looks of this latest twist, I think Mr Prest will actually end up being the winner.

again- its relative- 20million and 2 million are very different, the generosity of his offer can be debated.

Although he's been given permission I doubt very much he will win, it takes a single act of fraud (which im sure he's committed) to throw him in prison and give the wife all she wants.

damola1:
And this man is very much willing to provide security, insurance, education, and everything along with it. Absolutely willing. No man will ever live his babies out in the cold, unless he's really a bastard. cos the kids will eventually take up the estate anyways,

Let her have enough to keep moving on, the kids can get whatever they want from their pops, anytime, he's very proud of them, but she needs to shake her Bottom and get to work, free lunch don't exist no more!, £2M is more than enough to even take care of her for the rest of her life

if he was willing he will pay the wife what she asked for- THE estate is a separate issue, something I'm sure they can't benefit from until they are of legal age. How is the wife meant to take care of them til then?
If she hasnt been working for the past how many years how on earth is she meant to work now?? HOW!!!!!

damola1:
Must you be paid to take care of your own kids?,  the love from a child to a mother is un-quantifiable. This woman is getting paid!,  for upkeep of kids,  NOT HALF of the entire company!,  we can't close business just because madam says no more.

your just trying to wind me up right? ok what are the children going to eat? where are they going to live? how they gonna get to school?

I remember an article from one of p diddys baby mamas; she stated that people hate on them because they believe all the women do is sit down and plan on how to spend the money! How can they!!! her son is the child of a rich man, he needs security, he needs insurance, he needs top education, he needs to enjoy the life his father can provide and he STILL needs the care of his mother!!!!

and you say no just so the rich can ditch the wife, the kids and keep the toys? I dont think so- once you enter marriage you know its a lifetime commitment and you stick by it. You dont like it you dont marry simple as!

@ damola- dont even lie!!!

even the poor lower middle class men on their meagre wages expect the wives to pack in the degrees and MBAs to cook and clean at home. kmt. Another site another culture I may agree with you but certainly not on this one.

You cant have it all, and i dont even pity the rich ones. Its the poor idiots that insisted their wives should not work only to end up shelling massive proportions of their salary in alimony and child support when divorce comes.

You definitely cannot have it all.

ItsModella:
I don't think any spouse, male or female, should get a significant portion of their partners wealth in the event of a divorce, unless they can prove they played a major part in accruing that wealth. Someone who marries a wealthy person generally gets to live an opulent life. But in the event of a separation, it is unreasonable that the wealthy person would upkeep the glamorous and comfortable lifestyle of the other person throughout their lifetime and give them a ridiculously huge sum portion of the wealth that must have taken a long time to build.
That being said, the judge should not allow the use of tribal law. He was married and lives in the UK and as such should go through the British court system.

this is the thing- one person is going to lose out, its better the bread winner than the other. especially if theres children involved.

The main reason for the laws is so the lesser earner doesnt lose out after marriage- I agree with that 100%. If a woman has given up on a job, a career or whatever to raise the children (rather foolish decision but you have it) or stay at home and take care of the husband is she to blame when she no longer has the earning potential she has lost out on due to the marriage?

Its obvious the law can been abused but the bottom line cannot be argued.

damola1:
Ok, lets assume the woman is a house wife. Does that mean she stays with her kids 24/7,  no,  she's got at least 4 nannies.

So, lets do it like this,  Children that are not happy with £2M,  go and stay with your father anytime you like,  he's still got 4 nannies,  and you can fly in his jet with him to meetings,  and anytime you want you can come home for mummy's love.

It's that simple,  and that possible. Most rich people don't live with their kids, other people are responsible for them. So, nothing has changed!,  only money.

regardless of the nannies if she's a non working housewife she will be with the kids? don't you think? she will be their full time carer, it doesnt matter how much help they can afford, she will still be defined as the homemaker. The children will still be attached to her in that sense and daddy is more or less useless (if he hasnt stayed at home) so all he's really needed for is the money- which he is forced to part with during the divorce!

and  no court will want the children in care of nannies in place of their mother (or whoever has been caring for them from the start).

Seriously for a forum which drives responses like 'submit to your husband' 'do whatever your husband says' 'stay at home dont work its more fulfilling' the men sure do know how to complain when ish hits the fan!

@damola
erm so what is used to raise and care for children? dust and sand?  what is love and care without - money shelter clothing and education? and what does being Nigerian have to do with anything? they don't live in Nigeria?

if the parents died then the parents are dead- in this case the parents are still alive- they need to minimise the pressure on the children after the divorce.

im sure the man hasn't ditched any meetings to be with his family lol! lets not make meaningless assumptions here- like i said before- if a man was pay for what women have historically contributed towards marriage he will be paying more than a lifetime of earnings. If one was to put a value on getting pregnant and having children alone most won't be able to afford it,

lets not even forget, this man can afford it, the 20million isnt comparable to the man paying half his salary in alimony and child support, and even losing his house.