₦airaland Forum

@Ritchboi

Well, according to physioroom, Essien is out till December.

Essien, Ashley Cole and John Terry are expected to be out for long. JT just had an operation today and Cole is expected to be back in december or late november in the earliest.

Drogba isn't leaving in January, so those of you panicking should calm down. However, he wants to leave next summer but it'ld be tough, as Chelsea might refuse to sell him since he has a 4 yr contract to honour.

Talking about tomorrow's game, Middlesbrough has given us serious wahala in their home in the recent past, but I think we'ld win tomorrow.

Ma prediction for tomorrow's game would be 2-1 in favour of Chelsea.

And ma proposed line-up would be:

- - - Cech - - -

Belleti - Alex - Carvalho - Haim

Mikel - - Lampard - - Joe cole

SWP - - - Drogba - - Malouda

This formation should clinch the game.

Hahaha

Daddy Bandit!! What's up? How's little Drogba doing?  And how's the wife?

Come on. . . .  Let's get serious. I know you love to show off your grey hair and prove to be an 'agbalagba' , but please for the sake of the younger generation, let's stick to happenings of recent times aka happenings within the last 4 years.

@Jackal

You haven't answered me. Do you agree wiv the survey findings that every 12 out of 13 Arsenal fans are gay?
I mean take Nairaland as an example. Apart from Bandit, most of the other Gaynners are very old and still not married.
I'ld try not to mention names.

Unto more important issues, what do you think of the gist of Drogba's interview saying's he's g'onna leave Chelsea? And what do you think of our chances against Borough tomorrow? Gimme your honest answer o.

Also, I hear you guys have signed another Tevez, who is infact Tevez's junior brother on a two year deal. Haba!
http://www.thesoccerblog.org/premiership/carlos-tevezs-younger-brother-signs-for-man-utd/

Hahahahahahaha

Wenger use English players? You're right, he was LYING!
Wish I saw that AGM video. I can just imagine how GAYish the plonker looked when he tripped.

Wenger can't use English players cause he's got this french boyfriend who is completely anti-English and bullies him into using only non-English players.
That's why they have no English player in their first 11.

For Bleep's sake, how can a team without an ENGLISH player be leading the ENGLISH league?
It's sick! Real sick!

I'm sure Wengay only made that statement cause of Blatter's planned nu policy. I pray Fifa implements that. Would love to see Wenger work wiv English boys and get beaten up by his bully b/f.

By the way, am I the only one that thinks Wenger looks too much like a girl?

One more thing. . .

A survey was recently carried out by an independent consulting firm on the ratio of gays to straight fans of the top clubs in the premiership and guess who had the most faggy fans. . .


Le Arse aka Arsenal aka GAYnners.


I'ld get you the link in a bit.

The gist is that for every straight arsenal fan, there are 12 gay ones. And when the firm in question carried out an investigation as to why gays love Arsenal FC, they discovered that it's because the Coach of that team and most of their players are gays.

I'm not shocked by this finding anyway, since it's no secret that their gaffer has regular sexual intercourse with a certain man called Eboue.

What a strange world we live in.

As a matter of fact, Jackal, I think you're a wizard!! Seems your predictions would come true.

We all know that the month of November is traditionally a doom month for Le Arse and I don't think this year would be any different. I see em loosing 2 matches at least.

WOW!

This place's been like a grave yard in the past week. Wonder why.

@Jackal

What do you think would be the repercussion of RVP's absense from le arse's squad for the next one month?
I just can't figure out how they’d cope without their top scorer in the next coupla games, especially as he'ld miss the United and Liverpool games.

As a matter of fact, as unlikely as it may seem, I wouldn't be surprised if Bolton bangs some sperms into their faggy anuses tomorrow.   Anelka is up to it in ma opinion.   Whatcha think?

An Adebayor and Da Silva pairing upfront wouldn't scare ma 4 year old defender brother.

I wonder why it is so dificult for some people to understand simple English.

Well, it just goes to show that if you take a lad out of Mushin and go dump him in Yankee, the razzness of Mushin would still exist in his blood.

I don't know what part of 'Bleep off, you're not in ma league' is too dificult for some people to understand.   Should I speak French instead, or pidgin English?

Oh well, I've just been told that this is one of the symptoms of MUPPET disease.

Damn!

So these guys have found their scoring boots again.   Shit!!!

Well, it's all good, so long as the Arse are pushed back to their fourth position on the table and get their arses nicely settled in there permanently [size=5pt]Apologies Loyika[/size].

And if Pink Football is not good enough for you, please check out this link. Teamtalk is credible enough.

http://www.teamtalk.com/football/story/0,16368,1773_2783252,00.html

Note the third paragraph: -
"Meanwhile Ten Cate played down suggestions he would be leaving Ajax for Chelsea, even though the Dutch club are now out of the UEFA Cup."

Happy now?

@Faketan

Sorry, but I'ld rather believe a report in Pinkfootball than a report from the SUN. That's how shitty I think that paper called the SUN is.

Here's your link: - http://www.pinkfootball.com/App/showDoc.aspx?comp_id=45505

@Football fans (Toddlers stay off please)

Here is a little football quiz:

Valencia has been beaten only twice in the last 11 years at the Mestalla by any English team.
What English teams achieved this feat and in what years?

Please send your answers to my e-mail box(its in my profile). The winner would get a copy of Chelsea's new documentary - Blue Revolution. Or its equivalent in cash (thief).

@Chelsea fans (except Alhaji Kareem ofcourse )

It seems there is a very serious battle going on behind the scenes at Chelsea.
Ten Cate has stated that he CANNOT work as Avram Grant's assistant, meaning that he doesn't want to sloop low to that level from the position of top coach in Ajax. I'm sure a couple of his friends have warned him off it, telling him to ignore the temptation to work with a high profile club like Chelsea while sacrificing his coaching status.
And it seems Avram Grant is very keen on having Cate work UNDER him, with the way he's been yapping excitedly about it all day.

At this rate, I don't see Cate coming to Chelsea, except he is handed the job of first team coach as he has clearly stated that he CANNOT work as Grant's assistant, even though it seems Steve Clarke would be leaving soon(as being reported in the media ).
You guys might feel otherwise though.

Jackal:
Ohhhhh Maaaaaaa DAYZZZZZZZZZZZZ.
Loyika should better Bleep OFF back to England before the long arms of Tinubu catch his greasy ass.
Blimey!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It means the LAGS here are in PARADISE and they still complain.
They EAT 3 square meals which includes CHICKEN, FRESH MILK, BREAD, EXOTIC FRUITS and even ICE CREAM.

Prisoners are given 7 Jumpers and Long Johns with socks, boxers and toileteries(soaps, toothpaste and deodorants) every week.
They even have access to industrial washing machine that washes for em every week.
Theres a TV in each cell of 2 prisoners and these guys watch 50 digital channels plus a DVD channel.
Gyms . . . . .workshops . . . .computer education and an astroturf pitch where Prisoners play football thrice a week.
In short . . . . .apart from the FREEDOM . . . . .Prison life in this country is better than Gambia.

Loyika . . . . . PLS COME BACK TO UR ROOTS.

Hahahahahahaha

Jackal, with that description of life in prison, peeps like Alhaji Kareem and his wives would be drooling. I'm sure he'ld be packing his bags with packs of contraband items and heading for jand ASAP!!!!

Hahahahahahaha Come on. . . . PS3 in jail? Now that's more like it. That place would suit Loyika better. At least he can shag Gordon Brown's wives and all his girlfriends with that his itchy willy and still get to live a good life - in jail.

Oh ma dayzzzzzzz

Hahahahaha

Jackal, you don't w'anna be in a Naija prison.
Niggas there are made to defecate and pee in a bowl which stays in their cells all day. And I hear the wardens serve barbecued rats to the inmates as meat.
Also, the inmates are given just one outfit throughout their time there and they shower once in two weeks.
And to make matters worse, all the male wardens are usually gays.

Honestly, I just can't picture Loyika in a naija jail. He's too much of the 'aje butter' type to last there. He'ld kill himself.

The bleeping self-servicer!!!

Hahahahahaha

I don't w'anna be Loyika right now.

I heard that Loyika shagged Tinubu's wife while he was in power, and Tinubu is still out to get him. Cause one night while Tinubu was shagging Remi (his wife) she started screaming 'Deeper Loyika,  Deeper!!!!!' Tinubu then checked Remi's phones for any Loyika. He found his number and sent assasins after him.

Loyika ran for his life!!!!

Since then, he's stayed away from Lagos and all the western states of Nigeria and has pitched his tent with MEND. I hear he even has his own terrorist Cell in Port Harcourt and is also trying to recruit the big bellied Alhaji Kareemu.

@Jackal

Every major newspaper is reporting that Chelsea is about to bring Henk ten Cate from Ajax.

That would obviously leave a gap with Ajax who happen to have approached Martin Jol in the past trying to get him to coach them.

So do you think Martin would jump at this opportunity and go to Ajax before he is given the seemingly impending sack letter .  I think Jol should open talks with Ajax now, if any of these stories are true, so he can leave Tottenham with his dignity intact.

Whatchu think?

Loyika:
I no dey with you for that one oh!! Anyway its true sha, as Raz, (Better yet!! The lady who shall not be named ) is confused whether she wants to join the Gay brigade at OT or not Whats the name of that Julia Roberts film again Oh yeah; "Sleeping with the Enemy"

Hahahahaha Can't believe I missed this dig.

Loyika, you're crazy. But I'ld rather sleep with the enemy than sleep with my good friend Alhaji Kareemu (a.k.a. Smeagol), who's gat no job and has his only office in Nairaland where he gets to shag our darling Azeezat and tolotolo. Naaaa It's better to sleep with the enemy than sleep with a guy who's got no ambition.

Please let me sleep with the enemy, afterall, Don Corleone in Godfather said keep your friends close and your enemies closer.

I strongly advice you to follow in my footsteps and go sleep with Azeezat and tolotolo.

Fucking GAYnner!!!

@Jackal

Just when we were beginning to slay Mr. Gorrilant, the plonker delivers a victory like this. Now I feel reluctant to yab him. I still want him out though.
Ma boys are not a group of kindergarten students. We don't need no kindergarten training methods.

This is 2007 AD baby. . .

Jackal:
pass of the season

Jackal, is Joe Cole dead?

And if he is, who killed him? Cause the guy that made that pass couldn't have been the Joe Cole we know.

Are you kidding me? Joe Cole? That selfish plonker that would rather make unnecessary dribbles and waste a nice goal scoring opportunity.

Maybe he's growing up finally. But whatever it is, I hope it continues like this.

God bless Chelsea.

I hear that many Chelsea 'fans' are threatening to leave us and go support other clubs. Well, that's cheery news indeed - Let's get rid of the glory hunters once and for all.

Unto other important issues -

Is it true that Carvalho is now fit to play but that big racist oaf with the dirty and ugly set of teeth that we call our coach would rather play Ben Haim ahead of him?

I won't even be surprised if Ben Sahar comes back in January and is given a starting shirt ahead of Drogba cause he's Israeli.

Anyway, I'm fully expecting Valencia to give us a sound trashing tomorrow, but who knows. . . Miracles still happen.

Anyway, our performance tomorrow would determine what the nearest future should look like for Chelsea. A nice trashing would mean I was right all along and Grant is useless in addition to his facial infirmity.

But a win would mean there's still hope afterall and having Grant for a few more games is not as bad an idea as it looks at the moment.

Blue Rules!!

Jackal you d'ey crase o!

You want him to name the boy Donkey? Or Bully?

No wayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bandit darling, please name our baby Drogba!!!!!

He would score goals in all aspects of his life!!!

Amen!

Awwwwwwwwwwwww

BANDIT!!!!!!!!

So you just had a bouncing baby boy!

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

What's his name?   And when do we eat pounded yam and afang?

Awwww come on Bandit. . .

You know you're my favourite Gayner. I love you more than Jose Mourinho, I swear!

Infact, if you weren't so far away, I prolly would have proposed to you. Yea. . . I love you that much.

Don't let the club differences or the disses fool you.  You still have a special place in my heart.

You're so so cute.

Banderas:
Plonker, Ninny, person, Pillock, cretin

Puhleeeaseeeeeeee

Put your creativity on display by coming up with your own words.

Come on darling. . . . Impress me.

Come on bandit. . . Let's see what you've got.

Awwwwwwwww

Come on Lordi, be nice. I pay you a compliment and is this how you repay me?

Hahahahahahahahaha

Nairaland rocks!!!

Please you guys should be easy on Lordi. Like I've said a million times, he's a good boy.  And Jackal, the fact that he nearly died from blueballs is an indication that he isn't a self-servicer. Some other dude would jerk off to ease the pressure.

Azeezat:
i bet before i say jack robinson u will be grabbing my designer blouse.[ainit]

Jackal, is this true? Do GAYner chics in Naija really wear designer blouses?  Did you see any such thing in your last Naija visit?

wormedup:
i have a problem with ben haim and avram ! there seems to be a brotherhood shuck going on !

Old News!

It's called racism and Alex has been the victim!

Ben Haim is Israeli and Grant is also Israeli. Do the maths.

Ben Haim sucks like hell and I screamed when I saw him in our line-up against Manscum instead of Alex.

Alex would have been far better. His appearance alone would have scared the shit out of both Shrek and Donkey!

I can't wait for Carvalho to get back though.

@Wormedup

You forgot to mention Cudicini!

That guy can walk into any team and be a star. It's just unfortunate for him that Cech is so good.

Cudicini is A.W.E.S.O.M.E.!!!

@Chelsea Fans

There is more trouble at the bridge, as it seems we do not have a coach for our Champions League match against Valencia next week wednesday.

According to The Times, Avram Grant won't be allowed to Coach the team in that game because he doesn't have a UEFA coaching Licence(the Uefa Pro Licence) and there are no indications that his country's FA would support a fast-track application process, as he's out of favour with some bigwigs in the Isreali FA.

Anyway, assistant coach Steve Clarke has the license, so he would have to be our coach for that day and probably just take instructions from Grant who would either be restricted to the stands, or be allowed to sit on the bench without coaching.(Now if this ain't funny, I don't know what is)

Grant has up till December to get that licence, or he'ld no longer be able to coach our team.

Well, I personally hope he doesn't get it, for the simple reason that his face scares me to death.  Sorry o, but the guy is W.O.W.O!!!!!

@TKB

If Chelsea was playing Dolphins FC of Port Harcourt Nigeria, I'ld still want to watch the match!

That's what makes a fan.

I don't like doing this to you, but stop painting yourself to be a plastic fan. Biko dear.

Wow!

He has finally shown up!

Woulda been surprised otherwise.