₦airaland Forum

Hunger they say is the root of all evil , the last three month has been hell for me , I lost my job and I had to resort to Doing labour jobs for bricklayers to survive, though I was earning 1500 daily but the

Labor work was really draining me , I was looking older and my soft hands became strong like stone which made people avoid shaking me .I paid no attention though cos atleast I was surviving and none of them was feeding me ..


But everything became worse when the bricklayers I was working for stopped getting contract, I was jobless once again and within 2 weeks I finished both my little savings and foodstuffs at home ,
Hunger really wire me no be small and there was no one I could turn to.

There was this time I spent 4 days with no food cept water , I was frustrated and couldn't take it no more so I decided to see a native doctor (babalawo)

On getting there immediately the baba saw me , he shook his head and told me "my son poverty is following you ".. I did not even argue I told him poverty is not only following me but living and sleeping with me , I explained my condition to him and begged him to save me .


He told me to relax and that there is a solution, he said there is this particular charm he will do for me and within 7 days I'll be the richest in this town , hearing this my head was swollen with joy , he then explained that there is only one problem,.

I was scared , I thought he was going to ask for money so I told him I have no shishi not even 1 kobo , he told me it is not money, he explained that I will need a mad woman underwear , whether pants or bra or singlet as long as it is something the mad woman wore under . He assured me that if I can get it my problems are over ..

I was confused and shocked , I didn't know when I told him " Baba no vex o u don see mad woman wey wear pants or bra before? ". The Baba got angry and asked me what sort of stupid question is that , I begged him and told him I only asked because I was wondering how he was so sure Mad women wear bra and pants.

"You're silly , see if you're not ready to do this charm leave my place now before I vex turn you to Goat,. I wan help you you dey ask silly question" .Baba replied.

I begged him and told him I will try and get it just that I don't know where to find a mad woman ,. "


" Ehen now you're talking, see when you get to that junction then turn right ... ".... This was how baba gave me the description of the place I will find a mad woman, he assured me that the place is far from town and no one will see me but that I should be careful because the mad woman has a cutlass .. omo fear gripped me when I heard cutlass.


He encouraged me not to fear and that I should be brave and face the task at hand .

I left him and since the place was not far from the Baba house I decided to check it I out first before heading home,


On getting to the location I realized that it is an uncompletrd building, looking inside I saw the mad woman sleeping and she was using a ghana must go bag as pillow,

"That bag must contain her clothes " ..I said to myself.but how do I get it ?..while I was still wondering,the woman woke up and surprisingly she wasn't really a woman but a lady ,you could tell she used to be a pretty girl, she started yelling "Thief thief ".
And was pursuing me with her cutlass , I ran for my dear life .

I got home that day successfully and unharmed,while I settled inside to sleep since there is no food to eat i started thinking of how to get the mad woman's pants or bra suddenly a bright idea came up ...






Typing.....

Woah. sorry for the delay guys .. and thank you all for the Love , I'm grateful ..







The Baba landlord replied " Ah she's in the other cell where women dey,them arrest her and Charles wife ".. .


When I heard that I was hurt and disappointed I told Baba landlord not to worry that everything will be fine. Landlord replied " Amen o but errh you never pack enter how you come take know my daughter ?..

I smiled foolishly thinking of what to say .." Erh Baba we go to the same sc....... ."

Before i could complete my sentence My friend pounced on me like the Dog and was trying to strangle me to death ...

" You dey mad Nonso . so with everything wey dey sup na woman matter concern you as you no get sense na me go kill you ..

As me and my friend wrestle each other both landlord and the others try to separate us.. until suddenly we heard gunshots ,

We immediately became quiet and scared , we couldn't see what was happening but it looks like a gun battle between the police and some thugs ..
Apparently the police men had arrested some thugs earlier and thier gang came to rescue them .

Before long the gunshots stopped and we could hear movement heading to our direction.

Next thing we heard the Cell door beside us opening and the voices of thugs praising and thanking thier fellow thugs for the rescue,.

.
We kept quiet until one thug said " How far those guys wey them dey the other cell ? make we free them abi make we kill them " .

Immediately Baba landlord heard " abi make we kill them " He gave out a poisonous loud fart that was immediately choking everyone .. We turned to him and gave him a disgusted look but no one uttered a word ,we just covered our nose .


"Never kill them yet , We go call Call chief first and we go ask am if him need human part ,if him no need then we waste them " ...


Hearing this Baba landlord fainted ,..the thugs opened our cell, saw landlord lying down and with one slap on the face he came back to life ,


Immediately Baba landlord came back to his senses he started pleading ,assuring them that he will pay any amount,we also joined in begging . But the thugs refused and warned us that if they hear any more word ,we will be shot dead . We obeyed ..



They then tied our hands and lead us to thier bus ..

Once we were settled inside the bus ,8 of us includiing fareedah and brother Charles wife. . They drove off ...


They kept driving for what seems like hours untill finally the bus stopped,they dragged us down,and I quickly glanced around and realized that we are in a thick forest , They instructed us to keep moving.

When we finally got to the top of an uncompletrd building inside the forest they asked us to sit and keep quiet adding that they will be back shortly. .

When we were alone , everyone begin to cry and pray.. Fareedah was crying the most .

Baba landlord too was sober ,he turned to brother Charles and told him " Charlesy I'm very sorry cos I have offended you "... Brother Charles answered back. " Ah baba landlord it's not ur fault it's my fault na me bring the Dog "...


Baba landlord replied " I'm not apologizing for the Dog , you see charles now that I'm sure I will die it is better to confess my sin ,

"Hey Baba landlord abi what is your name which sin you wan confess,,make we tok how we go comot for here na sin u dey tok .Brother Charles wife replied..

"Haba baby let baba confess even me too I get confession wey I wan confess for you when him tok e own finish ,Baba oya na we dey hear you '.. brother Charles answered.

Baba Landlord cleared his throat Nd continued " Erhh charles since you packed into my house 5 years ago I have been sleeping with your wife ".. your son chukwudi is actually my son....


Everyone screamed " Ahhhh baba Landlordiii".



Brother Charles fainted ....






Typing........

When I got home , I realized my friend wasn't home , I called him and he told me to meet him in a police station nearby.. police station ?? Wetin happen ?. He did not reply just hung up .

When I got there I saw my friend with plaster and bandages all over his face and legs ,, the Dog really injured him , my friend saw me and urge me to come and write my own statement too, on the Dog matter ,


The police told me not to fear and that What my friend is doing is the right thing, they assured me that They would saction both the landlord and the Dog owner and make them pay for my friend injuries and also give me back my house rent money if I want.


Na so I carry Biro write epistle on what happened,,the police then called us to inform us that whatever money they pay my friend they will collect half for thier fee and we agreed ..


I went back home that night with mixed feeling ,I know involving the police will make me lose the house and that means I won't see fareedah again, but well atleast I'll be alive .

Next day we went to the police station again and together with 4 police men we proceeded to the house ,on gettin'there ,the police officers did not even bother to knock ,they just barged Into the compound and started shouting asking everyone to come out.


Me and my friend checked the cage and noticed that the Dog was not there ,but we were calm because the police officers was with us .

Out of nowhere the Dog pounced on one officer and started biting the leg ,omo see commotion,instead of the other three officers to intervene for thier colleague ,to our shock they took to thier heels ,

You need to see race that day na my friend I pity pass because the guy was still recovering.

The police officers started running faster than us as if they were possessed ,


when we all finally got to a safe place ,the 3 officers turned to me and my friend and handcuffed us, we were shocked ,when we asked them why and what our offence was?.they replied that we committed four offence.
(1) "Lying to a policeman

,(2) Tendering False information

(3) manipulation

and finally (4) attempted murder "..shoo all these big grammar for why now? We did nothing officers na " I replied,.

They said we wrote Dog in our statement knowing fully well that it was a Lion thereby putting thier life at risk...they said if they had knew it was a Lion they would have come with better machinery ..

But It's not a lion it's a Dog sir " ..we argued but this officers refused to listen , instead they gave me a hot slap and told me to keep quiet , " Shut up who you be, you think say we no go school to know difference between Lion and dog ? "..
I couldn't utter any more word , they dragged us to the police station and put us behind bars


We later found out that the policeman that was attacked had been badly injured and lost a lot of blood ..

Before long both the Dog owner and the Landlord joined us in prison with half of the compound .

While in the prison both the landlord and the Dog owner kept shouting at each other ,the landlord blamed the tenant for bringing such Dog while the tenant blamed the landlord for not doing anything about the high level of insecurity in the compound..

When they finally calm down after another tenant begged both party the word that came out of my mouth was."Hope your daughter fareedah is safe sir "..





The man replied


Typing ......

I couldn't sleep well in my friends house that night , my mind was already in that compound, all I could think of is the babe (iFareedah)
What a beautiful name ,

immediately it was morning, with the help of my friend I packed my few things and we head to the house ,
On getting there I checked inside and saw the Dog sleeping in it's cage before we entered,

when my friend saw the Dog he was shocked too and he refused to enter , he told me he's never seen a Lion this close ,

I laughed and told him it's just ordinary Dog na , I even assured him that the animal is a friendly one and in a bid to calm him I moved closer to the cage and said "kitty kitty " the dog looked up and surprisingly did not bark .I turned to my friend like a chairman and told him "you see say the Dog sabi me. fear fear boy "

If only someone had told me that day that the cage was unlocked I would have given my soul to the person free of charge .


While I turned my back to face my friend I heard the cage opening,.

at first I decided not to panic but you see that my friend the guy no dey use Dog play at all and.before I could say jack he took to his heels running like usain bolt and screaming chimoooo I don die..


Omo without waiting for further instructions I followed him and this lion followed us ., I thought my end has come , the funny thing was that i did not know where that speed came from but I caught up with my friend and even left him behind , next thing I heard my friend's voice crying and screaming " Nonso abeg wait, wait for me ".. with tears in my eyes I just replied "No vex my brother" .."Abeg no vex "but I couldn't wait ..

The Dog got hold of my friend's leg and threw him off , pounced on him and gave him strange bite , my friend was able to find a stick and attack the Dog back , passerby joined to help him and before long they were able to chase the Dog away.. .

I couldn't see all these at that time because I just kept running ,to make matters worse strangers that saw me also joined me in running, nobody was asking questions ,u see us just join us. Na when I finally stop I realized about 30 people were behind me and we were all gasping for air

,one man managed to ask me " O boy Wetin really happen na ,why u dey run " when I told them it was because of a Dog,. They got angry and started insulting me .

I later realized that the Man who asked me the question was a driver and the people behind him were mostly his passengers,he dumped his bus and followed me in running because they thought cultist or fulani herdsmen were killing people.

If not for some elderly women they would have beaten me up that day, they then told me not to be running carelessly like again o...


I called my friend number after settling down , at first he did not pick , and I was scared for him , when he later picked , it was curses upon curses , the guy no even let me explain before he hang up. But I was happy to even hear his voice atleast he's alive..
I called a bikeman to take me back home and the guy said that it would cost me 700 ,that's when I realized I have really travelled far. On getting home






Typing ...



On getting home ..

immediately I turned right to see who was greeting me . Lo and behold I saw the most beautiful creature ever , the babe must be in her early twenties , not fair not dark but glowing , she's got curves , dimples and was blessed both front and back ,

How I was able to see all these in just 2 seconds is another topic entirely , I greeted her back and introduced myself as the new tenant ( seeing the babe automatically made me certain Its a good house after all).

I told her my name and she replied with her name adding that she's the landlord daughter ,

I replied ooh nice to meet you , that's when I noticed her carrying some bats about 3 bats in a parker .

I was shocked again and I asked her if bats do come to the compound ,she looked surprise and asked me where I saw bat .I pointed to her hand and she laughed and said "No these are just mosquitoes"..

"Jesussssss " I screamed ,she smiled and told me it's nothing to worry about she also assured me that she will put me through on how to stop them from coming into my room..

When I heard that my senses flew away , " Are you sure you would put me through" I asked again .
She replied yeah ,she then ask if I am married and I quickly replied that I'm not married and very single ..
She just smiled and said " Me too" ..

Before I could say anything else the caretaker showed up ,and the girl excuse us assuring me that she will check on me later ..

When the caretaker asked "How far u like the house ?". I replied yes yes .it's a beautiful place with beautiful animals .(up till now I still couldn't believe I said that )..

We proceeded to the ATM,I withdrew the money ,signed agreement,paid and collected key.
There was not much to do in the room , except for the door net ,

I was introduced to someone that could help me fix the net ,I paid and left for my friend house ,the thought of the babe has clouded my mind and I totally forgot about the

Dog that looked like Lion
Rat that looked like Cat
Mosquito that looked like bat ..


I got home that night unknown to me that my troubles had just began





Typing..

I have been house hunting for a while now.
My plan was to get at least a one bedroom self contain, but the price was too high, the least I got was 150k (agreement/commission inclusive). And I have just 60k, my friend decided to introduce me to one caretaker and the man told me there is a house of 1500 per month and with agreement and commission it would cost me 50k to start but that it is a face me I face you.

He also assured me that it is a good place and infact a steal, he said the landlord made it so cheap because he's a man of God. Na so my joy increased and without further ado I told him to let us go check the place out.

We arranged to go there in the afternoon but it was delayed and we later got there round 6pm
On getting there I realized that it is a gated compound which is a plus for me, but when we got there the caretaker refused to enter even though the gate was unlocked, he started calling one of the tenant to pls come and open the gate
I asked him why and he said there is a Dog in the compound and nobody dares enter carelessly, he said even the landlord had slept outside the gate many times because of the Dog.

I was shocked and I find it both hilarious and stupid, a whole landlord that could not enter his own compound because of tenant's dog. While we were still talking the Dog owner came out, called the dog chained it and then ask us to come in.

When we entered my heart jumped cos i saw a big lion I started screaming lion!!!! Lion !!! Lion!!!..
The caretaker told me to relax and said it's not a lion but a Dog, when I heard Dog my jaw dropped, na Dog big like this, I'm 5.7ft tall and this Dog is almost my height and very robust ,na there I understand why the landlord sleep outside.

I told the Dog owner who introduced himself to me as brother Charles that this animal should be in a zoo but he just laughed and told me I will understand the reasons why the Dog is there later.

We proceeded into the house, which is a one storey building, there is a borehole in the compound which means water is not a problem.
On getting to the room I was to rent, immediately we opened the Door, Me and the caretaker was almost ambushed by cats, big big cats, about four of them, when they saw us they rushed towards us in an attempt to flee and for the second time in few minutes my heart jumped again.

My shock was reshocked when the caretaker told me that once I fix the Door net the rats won't be able to enter, I thought he made a mistake so I told him "you mean Cat" he said no that those animals are rats.

Omo I gave up, I didn't know when I screamed ahhhhhhhhh, but why all the animals for this compound con big pass normal size now I asked him..he assured me that it's nothing and it is only big because I'm seeing it for the first time and by the time I get used to them it won't be special anymore..

I just lost I wanted to give up on the house but the room was actually big and clean, and the ceiling was p.o.p the man was right when he said it is a steal..

The caretaker told me to check it out myself why he quickly goes out to recieve a call..
Na there I con dey wonder, Dog be like Lion. Rat be like Cat.

Wetin mosquito go con be like ?..
While I was still wondering I heard soft female voice greeting me.

Typing ...

I called my friend and told him there is fire on the mountain , the guy started pressuring me to tell him exactly what's happening so I relate the whole matter to him on the phone ..
He asked me how many tramol I used and I confessed that I used 3 , instead of this my guy to give me solution na so this guy start to blast me saying I caused it and that I was not strong yet to use 3 (750g) I was confused but I was carried away by the itching and painful feeling between my legs .. next thing he told me to calm down take a cold bath and drink glucose .






I told him thank you . As I go out to buy the glucose immediately I stepped into mama ngozi shop, the woman saw me looking dull and tired , (Tramol makes you look like a dullard).. she then asked me what happened to me , omo I don't know where these tears came from and I started crying o..





Mama ngozi became worried " what happened? Nonso Talk to me" .. Na so I begin to narrate Wetin happen for my secondary school, how my principal caught me and my friend shouting but na only me him flog I was like " Mama ngozi is that good ehn is that good.? '..




The woman confused , she ask me "Nonso why be say na now e con dey pain you , u sure say u dey alright ?... With tears in my eyes I told her I'm alright, I then asked for glucose, she gave me I paid and left the shop ..








Before I got home my phone rang "grrrr grrrr " it was amaka calling , I was happy and as if my john thomas could sense something na so the thing too stand gidigba..






I picked " hello ". Amaka responded "Nonso I'm on the bike coming I, pls wait at the gate so you can pay the bike man _...Omo I jumped for joy I said "okay " I rushed home quickly and decided I won't take the glucose yet , let me first deal with this babe first ...





typing.....

stupidmod3:
if u are not comfortable with men toosting ur wife, sleeping with them, why do u go after people's wives.

dear men, u trying to sleep with someone wife, hope u comfortable with someone also trying to sleep with urs?

just saying ohh

your moniker is truly you .. wow

I remember that year vividly, anytime my friend goes in with a babe he will use more than 4 hours..

I was always wondering how he did it , untill one day I asked him and he told me it was tramadol that was helping him , . omo I shock

I was like " so guy na tramol dey help u, u sure ?..
The guy replied that yeah , funny thing was that I was expecting amaka the next day and I decided I will use the tramol ., na so this my guy carry me go one aboki , buy tramol for me he told me to use just one cos it was the red tablet and it was 250g.. I was like okay but I went behind him and used 3 ..


I used it when amaka told me she was on the way , as I use am within 5 minutes I was already feeling funny which means the drug was working .

nasi my phone ring *grrr grrrr * as I rushed to pick I heard amaka voice , she said " Nonso abeg no vex I no go fit come , mummy sent me on an errand with my sister abeg no vex"..

as I hear I can't come my head spark.. I wanted to shout at her but the tramol automatically turned me to mumu , next thing I was talking in low voice like an idiot" Amaka abeg come , if you no come kasala go burst abeg "... as I was still begging na so this babe hang up..

omo I confuse and tramol don dey work I sat down for like 15 mins before I enter bathroom say make I pee then try her number again .. lol and behold the pee was not coming out , it was painful as hell

Chai I thought the end has come but unknown to me my problems had just started . out of no where this itching started , I start to dey itch and scratch my balls .. I had to take fork to help the ministry..


at this point I felt like crying so I carry phone call my friend .




typing...

Lovethaa:
So I have been speaking to this lady online for a while and I must say that she is extremely beautiful., We've done video calls several times because I just couldn't take my eyes of her ..

She stays at Portharcourrt but would be around anytime soon which made me go to the atm to withdraw this undisclosed amount..

I'm in a great mood today so I'll be giving out 10k to anybody that can guess how much is in the picture. You don't have to be correct just be close ..

250k

Freestainworld:
You need Indabosky in your life

give me his WhatsApp number

Duru9:

Na kwale weed you smoke

na uwale

Something weird happened to me just few minutes ago.. I was sleeping when j heard a voice talking. I stay alone and there was no one with me so I was wondering, I went to the parlour to check if I had left the T. v on but to my surprise it was off.


I was scared so I decided to wait patiently and find out where the voice was coming out from.. everywhere was silent then I heard "You like sleep " this time more clearly I immediately jumped up and was cold and shivering at the same time , I still couldn't trace when the voice was coming from .,


As I kneel to start praying , although I haven't prayer in a while I Heard the voice laughing . but this time it was closer , as I turned right I saw the figure tall. so tall I couldn't see it face but I could see the leg so I grabbed the leg and started biting it , funny thing is that the ghost started pushing me away but I refused , I didn't know where I saw that kind of courage and strength


All of a sudden I recieved a hot slap . That's when I woke up and realized that it was my friend that slapped me and I was dreaming all along.. I asked him why he would slap me and he said he did that because I was biting his leg


whatever you do Don't smoke weed before you sleep ..

Feddytune:
You like passing your boundaries with your community nose .. but who nose she might like you

post your pic let's see who's finer ..

Lovethaa:
alright.

post screenshots for the novice above me when you receive.

stay safe

I never see alert bro..... if I did not kill myself today because of you.. my God will judge you

even though you hide in plain sight ,
you still look brighter than the daylight..



Too beautiful for Christ sakes
I love you like lala loves snakes




who I'm I you might wonder.
just an admirer who drives an honda




I hope this meets you well
I love you my precious jewel .

The6thAustralia:
please before you proceed can you do a favor for me?
I beg you in the name of God I need 2000naira.


once you have downloaded the app send me your link and I will follow yours too

I want to kill myself and your own concern is palmpay.... palmpay kill you there

Lovethaa:
Alright bro.. I guess I'll keep my 50k

on a second thought Ill accept the offer so that you only feel bad .. and like you said maybe life is not that bad, but
0116918687. Gtbank ..

Nairalandian:
Attention seeker

who are you?

Lovethaa:
heya .. let me send you something , so u can go out and enjoy yourself ..Go to a fast food restaurant

Maybe this will erase the suicide thought life's not too bad

I have decided to kill myself and there is no going back

so I posted my pics and I was body shamed ..
everyone was catching cruise with my. nose and I felt like commiting suicide..
This might be my last thread cos I have thought it over and over and I think the best thing for me to do is kill myself..

I'm sorry I was created this way . bye

And p. s I love you Rockstation

Iamdbull:
So I posted here a couple of months ago, that I was depressed for using my life savings to record a song, here is the link. https:/ time to voice but the generator became faulty so I had to travel back without doing anything. Then after a week I travelled to the studio to voice again. Mind you, I did this same song in 2018 and it was good so I decided to go and redo it at a more expensive studio, Boom a 2weeks later which is today the song was out and guess what…… it was total trash, 150k gone.

But guess what, After hearing the track and it was trash, with all my money, efforts, energy I still deeply believe I have something beautiful to share with the world.

I am DBULL an up and coming artiste and this is my story, God bless you all.

Nice one bro ....Drop your number or email... I can help you get your music out there .. and I'll do it for free ... I

falcon01:
isn't it obvious?? you Ugly, only thing you can do is workout to have a good body that will make up for the ugly face and if you are too lazy to do that just hustle and get rich which will also be hard for you cause you are a lazy f*ck if my first statement is correct!. Take heart fellow ugly Bro!!

fellow kill you there ....I'm not your "Fellow" ugly guy.... I no follow you ugly .. lol. ugly guys looking for friends

Babara1994:
Ladies block me after seeing my pics
Op, you and I are in the same boat.

that's makes us brothers in law.... no mind them. we fine pass ned nwoko x10000 yet are the kind of babe the old man is controlling....

Feddytune:
you look broke and poverty stricken... plus ugly and ugliness is contagious, guess that's why they blocked the diesese

broke and poverty stricken kill you there .I know that's the first thing you notice in a man ",broke or rich ' that's why your destiny has been stolen







..if I'm not the finest male on Nairaland then I'm definitely the cutest... can't say richest but I'm not poor .....



Modified... Below is my pic

Men these days is somehow.. I don't understand what has been happening.

I meet a lady and we begin to vibe well , we also share pictures then boom she wants a video call , but as soon as I receive the call and we see each other clearly she immediately hangs up and block me thereafter without saying a word..
Does this happen to only me ? I'm really confused. .. why is this happening,?

nice thread

FreeSpirited:
You just cast the babe face and name

check Facebook with that name... thank me never

fattprince:
imagine the stupid girl. it was after sending account that she came to her senses to know that she doesn't even know him.

just checked the babe on Facebook through her name... real casting