₦airaland Forum

Annoms:
I'll try to make this short.

Yesterday I was having a conversation with my fiancée about my mum's suggestion about how to go about our wedding which is scheduled to take place Jan next year. My mum suggested that we do both trad and white wedding on the same day to cut cost. She opined that we do the white wedding in the morning and hold the traditional marriage as a reception in the afternoon. I pretty much see reasons from her perspective considering the harsh economic condition in Nigeria.

I was relating this to my fiancée yesterday in a phone call, when she flared up and said I should have consulted her to seek her opinion on this marriage arrangement before going to my family to seek theirs because I said my mum's advise seems okay.

What I deduce from her plight was that she wants the trad marriage at the village (south-east) while the white at the town where we base (South-West). That was what I initially wanted but due to high inflation in the land, I'm actually tilting towards my mum advise because I can't go bankruptcy just because I want to satisfy her. Why not use a stone to kill two birds?

She wants a cream-de-la-cream kind of wedding but she's not ready to assist financially to make that happen. (she's an awaiting corper)

I told her that the cost of transportation and lodging people from the village (hers and mine) to the city for our white marriage alone is gulping about 500/600k. That's transportation & lodging alone ooo.. I'll now spend if not x2 of what I spent on trad for white.. Why not just do everything in the village and move on with our lives? We can actually have it in the village and it will still be all nice and glamourous.

She said she wants to have a say in how her marriage will look like. Her imput is welcomed. But if she still insist on having the white wedding and not putting finances into consideration. I'm thinking that she want the white wedding on the city because of her friends who will attend which is not enough reason to go bankruptcy for.

It was a heated argument yesterday. We both went to bed angrily and not in talking terms till now

Pls advice accordingly. Thanks

First some things should never be discussed over the phone and this is one of them. That's where you erred.


Secondly, you should stand your ground. As much as she should have a say, it should not be to the detriment of your account balance.


The problem here is that you opined your mums suggestion as Your mum's suggestion, and that's what she has problem with. She is thinking your mum will control her new family by virtue of proxy which all women dread. She wants to feel her new family is devoid of external control and you giving your mum's suggestion as not yours has set off her defense. It's self defense.


You can't do anything about this but just remaining silent but still stand your ground on your decision that both the trad and white wedding be held in same location and same day. Else, she can manipulate you by just simply making you think she thinks it's your mum making the decision.

Next time, bring it up as your suggestion or decision so she knows that it's her husband's.

Having gone through these pages, it's safe to say 'women' are not the problem.


You are the problem. Conquer yourself first. Be able to forgive your simpish stage, take corrections and only then will you able to handle anyone. Only let out the rage when needed (eg when you are in danger and it's obviously the last thing to do to stay alive).

I am not soliciting for women or anyone, but just hear me out. Get your emotions in check first, you guys are bursting out rages here. That is why you guys quarrel anyone who do not have the same opinion or belief as you.

Are we gonna over look the fact that she will get orders that will make her multi-millionaire.

Make I hear say this thread go front page.


Why will it sef... Is it Celebrity news?

pansophist:
You self see wetin I do there abi ?

I know she won't answer it. If it is not double standards, then she will have no standards at all.

I saw it bro. You arm twist am.

pansophist:
The quality of your brain is really low, to put it mildly, and your response is an evidence to that effect. Even more shameful you've assumed yourself as being logical. You, logical. Lol

So if you're justifying violence against men because "he did something to warrant it", will you also justify it if its between women ? If your answer is yes, why should violence be the answer?, if it's no, then why is it acceptable if the victim is a man ?

This is a big trap. She would jump.

STENON:
Don't get involved in such. Just let her know you are not interested in such ponzi business. Na she go learn by herself

Well, I mustard the courage and told her, broke everything down to her and I'm glad she understood. Though her son already told her.

SOZINN:
Who noticed during their university days that beautiful girls got into romantic entanglements with bad boys/unserious students. And kept the intelligent males as pets.
What those bad guys got daily, the good ones never had a taste.
Most of them had that brilliant friend who would help them with their tests and school assignments, while they hung out with crazy dudes.

One bastard from Kuwait wan run this scam on me for school this year.

E use sweet, angelic, damsel in distress voice ask me to do her assignment for her. Imagine, say na me deh _fuck you ni.

justwise:
Greedy and ignorant ones will still fall for it

True. My Aunt has a scammer on her tail now. Sending her her all these MLM scheme thing that she will pay some dough, bring someone and tbr money will keep increasing.

Me I don't know how to tell her those are scam. And she so much believe in it. She even wants to pay for me.

justwise:
Its funny when Nigerians that invented all sorts of scam fail victim to one

It's even funnier when Indians try to scam a Nigerian. I mean, before scam, Nigeria was.

Martinez39s:
This guy is so annoying. Why will a grown man be this childish, unwise and stupid?

After all, one can not only simp for women. Attention too can simped for.


Remember ubunja topic on the 'sweetest thing in the world'?

Martinez39s:
This man's death wasn't sudden. He had a terminal illness that gradually killed him. I am sure his family knew but didn't disclose it anyone.

Bro, even stress can kill. Stress is one of the underrated killers in Nigeria. Slowly life will depart from you without you even knowing.


A man in South Africa was working over time. He's a medical doctor but he never had rest because of his love to save life. His family Pastor called him and told the importance of rest, but he only had rest three days later which he is still having now.



What am I saying in essence, you are right about the illness he may have had, but that illness could be stress.

pwityjj:
Is it compulsory to declare visa refusals during the credibility interview? Or it is best to declare during the visa process. I read where a school rejected a student and sent pack tuition deposit paid due to visa refusal.
I have credibility interview coming up for MSc Nursing, I need advice please.

@justwise and co please help

Be honest with your visa refusals. I know a lady here who had, two Canada refusals(one was student visa, the other was a visit visa), two UK visit refusal and a South African visa refusal. I told her to tell her school all of them and also why she was refused those visas and don't mince words. She did, her school gave her CAS the following day (i guess because she saved them time of investigation) then she went for a visa application and also declared all of her visa refusals. In four days or so she was given a student visa to UK. Yet she didn't pay for priority. Where as I paid priority to get visa in three days(I don't have a visa refusal).


Always be honest with your visa refusals and in fact everything whence dealing with the UK embassy.

@justwise

Lexusgs430:
In some cases, it's actually cheaper to buy a US used flagship phone from Nigeria and export it to the UK.........

umarwy:
@lexusgs430

Thank You.

Hello all, I arrived to the UK on March 11th, I want to get a contract phone, but where I wanted to get it, was asking for 3yrs, previous address.

Also I would like to get a laptop too but would want to pay for the laptop like I am paying for the phone (contract), please point me to where I can purchase this. I live in Newcastle Upon Tyne. Thank you.

@ Lexusgs430, justwise anybody!

IVORY2009:
En fait, Bobrisky n'a pas bien fait, pour avoir battu quelqu'un de Côte d'Ivoire

English, people!, do you speak it?

You want go do boy boy for person house bah, you don see wetin boy boy deh see person house. Now you deh run mouth. Con getat!

Skepticus:
It's very normal. It's your brain and body adjusting to the fact that women are not special to you anymore. Your brain has better priorities above women.

Omo, I noticed this a long time now.

Igbochief001:
In south east ...we know ourselves if u mess up ..we would just bring you out simple

Them say nnamdi kanu would become a dictator...I laugh ...if he tries it his own men would be the ones to bring him down self

We are all kings in igbo land ...as long as your goal match our own ...you are the leader once u go against the goal we go against you

Chikina

Ilekokonit:
Too many bullies in Nigeria both inside and outside religious institutions.

That shameless lecturer and his accomplices can not survive one week as a lecturer in a civilised country with their loud bullying antics.

I will not be suprised if the student faces retribution from the petty lecturers from that petty university for posting the video online.

My lecturer for UK here, get tattoo for hand, has a nose and mouth ring. Even one on her tongue. She teaches photoshop.

tensazangetsu20:
You know nothing about tech. There's a serious hunt for people in IT.

Why you de tell am?

bukatyne:
She wants £18m for “past pain and suffering”, £18m for “future pain and suffering” and £18m in punitive damages.

Funny statement

I thought she would be more interested in CR7 actually paying aka going to jail if he is guilty.

Why would she want CR7 to go jail, if he does, who will she milk again?

Fools in robe.

uc4uandc:
NEVER DATE AT WORK PLACE
(A personal experience)

It was early August of 2020 when I got an invitation text to come for an interview in newly established entertainment industry here in the East.

We numbered over 300 who came for the interview and after much screening, 62 staff were selected.

The daily training was intense and interesting too because of the Manager we had, he was so detailed and funny also.

Amongst trainees were beautiful ladies of all shapes and sizes and intelligence.
The first day I saw my girlfriend, I didn't feel anything, she's very young and beautiful and opposing too (one of my likes about women). I realize she's a little opinionated, hence she got my attention.

We were all given appointment letter to our various positions. Mine was what I applied for but my gf didn't get hers, she was rather given something else. She came to me to complain since we are now friends and I told her that maybe the reason why she wasn't given the position she wanted was because she's short (Sarcastically, but I meant it)

She got angry and opposed me (I have a thing for women who oppose actions, especially when they have reasons). I apologized and we got along....... Boom we started dating.

#FASTFOWARD#
The next month, I got promoted to one of the managers, everyone was happy for me.
I have been a senior staff for like 8 months now and I must tell you that it has been a terrible experience.

My girlfriend is choking the hell out of me at work. She's very lukewarm in terms of carrying out her duties, when I confront her to do her work, she will tell me that I'm being too harsh on her. How can you litter your department like this and go home? she will tell me she's tired, I will have to assign someone else to do it, but it's her duty.

This keeps happening all the time, if I shout at her at work (when she gets on my nerves) she won't talk to me again for weeks and she won't greet me at work. If I ask her questions about sales, she won't reply me.

The most recent one was her and her colleagues misbehaving and I queried them, others replied my query, but she didn't. I wanted to let go, but one of the senior staff asked about her own reply to the query. I was forced to surcharge her N5,000 since she didn't reply, that means she's guilty.
After I served her the letter, she got angry and said "all the managers in this company are stupid" she said this to my face. Something she can't say to other managers.

Mehn! I was so furious and I was walking away when she threw her book at me, in front of other junior staff. OMG!...... I just walked away.
She's still keeping malice (her specialty) with me. I am not happy with her either.

I keep avoiding her so as not to get into more of what we are. But the work is suffering because of her dereliction.
Currently, I don't know how to tell her I don't want to be with her again, but I love her.

My advice
Never date at your place of work especially when you are bossing over her!

She has crossed the lines that would have gotten her fired. But well, you are .fucking her, so what gives?

You will ensure, are you the police, or the legislation?


Com getat!

franchasng:
Mine is just that I was born a loner.....I was an extreme introvert growing up....I hated taking pictures right from childhood.....so I didn't have any interesting picture to share, and with time it became a habit that I rarely snap even when I visit a new country that many people will be busy snapping up and down.....I lack picture memory.....so it wasn't as if I planned it, but with present situation of Nigeria and the world at large, my former lifestyle of not taking pictures became a blessing to me which I now upheld till date with joy.



My wife own is, she is also like me......born loner and introvert.....bookworm type that only read novels and textbooks, doesn't like what most ladies love. She doesn't like social media.....there was a time I bought her a new phone, she didn't even download facebook on it till I told her to do so for easy communication with her family members at times.....her whatsapp, I doubt she knows what status update is though she enjoy watching other people's status update.....sometimes she goes out and forget her phone with me if I am around or something.



So dont delete your pictures, just dont turn it to a habit of uploading pix online every now and then, its not a sign of success like many think.


I have a friend who is almost a billionaire and he has just a single picture of when he graduated from uni on his facebook. I also have a very successful friend who is so obsessed with facebook that he updates new pictures every week cos he travels around the world a lot before covid. So its all about our upbringing and personality

OK I am not gonna tear down any pictures. It has been really long since i last updated any picture.

It's been over a month getting to two sef I left Nigeria and not one single picture on FB. I did snap pictures but it was just for my mum.

franchasng:
My picture is not on any online platform.


My wifey get facebook but last update she made was when she joined in 2015



Me I have been on Facebook since 2010 but my I have no single picture unless some friends tagged me.....



My wedding picture can never be found anywhere online or offline except in my house

Omo, I get Facebook, I last posted on the platform 4yrs ago. I will go and tear down my pictures. Except Twitter and LinkedIn which I use to search for jobs but have never made any post on it.

franchasng:
Most of my exes lol are not even aware that I am married. There is one that's so obsessed with me till today, she still thinks I am single and she calls once in a while and I pick and tell her how my village people don't want me to ever stay with any woman. She will just be pitying me that I need deliverance, but she no know say I don get bomboy self

How she never know? You no deh post your picture for Facebook? Or she no deh use Facebook?

Neutralobserver:
He needs psychiatric help.

Exactly my thoughts.

Neutralobserver:
PDP supporter: I blame Buhari

APC supporter: I blame PDP's 16 years of looting

Conservative Nigerian: I blame his parents and his upbringing and the fact he was not serious in school

Liberal Nigerian: I blame society for his ills...and bad governance, and the conservative nature of our country

IPOB: It is because Nigeria has not given freedom to Biafra

Oodua: It is because of no Yoruba naiton, and years of FULANI opression

Miyetti Allah: Someone took his cows away

Fundametalist christian: 5G is of the devil...so that they can give us the Mark of the Beast thorugh the covid vaccine

Fundamentalist Muslim: this is why we need Sharia law in Lagos...

Weed smoker: Wetin my business be with this one. Shebi if government legalize Igbo...

Femminist: I hope they do not blame a woman for this!

Incel: It was because he was dumped by his girlfriend for Dangote's brother's son's nephew....women are bad

Academic Nigerian: It is because he is suffering an extensive misamic attack of the occipitus phallidus....

Superstitious Nigerian: It is because of what his ancestors did in the time of his great, great, great, great, great, great, great, great grandmother...

Atheist Nigerian: There is no God, so it does not matter if we pray or do whatever...

What is your own thought about the whole issue?

Mynd44:
1. If UEFA makes sure these clubs don't play the national League again, what makes you think they won't start theirs? Or do you think the EPL has exclusive rights to football in England? They can go ahead na.

2. Actually no. The remaining clubs can't generate enough funds to keep these leagues running. Imagine Real Madrid, Barcelona and Athletico breaking out of La Liga. Who will watch Valancia play Bilbao every week? And the players won't leave; which club will pay them the millions clubs like Man U, Real and Barca pays? Is it West Ham?

Even the West Ham you pointed is joining the ESL.