₦airaland Forum

lefemmechoclat:
I don't think I can. Cos frankly money was not used wisely. We have kids one that needs care for life and debts.i literally stopped working my second job a several months ago. If a womandid that to her husband she would be a Delilah. I worked alot and invested alot int his man and the first thing is to build a home that we won't even need

lefemmechoclat:
He could've still told me. And I am not that type the betrayal is worse than the money. I have struggled with this man. If he wou I have told me and I divorce him he still could've continued...

GboyegaD:
Are you supporting his wickedness? Did you read he was talking about the building in the future while he was already building it? Did you imagine the height of betrayal? Are you sure the kids want to move to Nigeria in the future?

I would have asked you to define wickedness buddy ....... And make me understand how it was applicable in this case...

He can't wait for the kid's approval to build a house or if they will like to live there or not...He will need a retirement home in future with the wife( ie if she cares to join him)...I do not think he sees himself as someone that will like to die abroad....As for me, He did nothing wrong building a house buddy... The only place I faulted him was the fact that he did not inform her...

Even if he did inform her, I doubt that she will ever approve of the building project...because her priority was savings...
As for Betrayal, I did not see... Working two jobs is not an easy task,.....I loved the fact that the money was utilized wisely...Some would have used that on women and bottle you know... If he spent all his time abroad without building even a room, when he gets back to Nigeria, a lot of you will still say he stayed for million years without achieving anything.. no house no nothing.... Abeg make una free the man...

NoToPile:
Ohkayyy

Well I know you as the green font guy that's all

NoToPile:
SMH @ first bolded. You still don't see or cannot feel from her posts that she was working extra just to pay bills to make more money to run the home, the man makes the money and instead relieving her a bit, it's a mansion a 60k dollar house?

Does her posts sound like he was making great effort, you saw the places I bolded.


2nd bolded Yeah right, before nko

And I stand by the woman with all my own heart too.


Let's hope you hold this stance if it was the other way round sha.

@ Bold, That's why we are unique...The world would have been a boring place if we all agree on everything all the time.

Your last paragraph shows that you don't really know me that much... I don't play gender, ethnic or race card...I'm too old for that.

ImaIma1:
It's not a blanket approach. It's based on the many I have seen. In fact, one I know had a South African wife, a Chinese wife and still came back to marry a Nigerian wife in grand style.

That's why I said his MO is like that of the average deceptive types. Building a house is a whole big project not to tell your spouse. He didn't buy a car or a land. He build a whole house!

Did he want to marry the whole nation?
He should have told her... That's what I have been saying all through...That kind of news should be after love making...where she will not throw so much tantrums...in the morning, he will wake up early, serves her breakfast in bed and plead again for forgiveness and continue the project..

NoToPile:
To answer your question of what I was implying the bolded below is what I was implying.




Off course your stance on the mansion issue was obvious, it's a status thing.

I know you don't see anything wrong in all this except that he should have told her now we don't have to agree everyone is entitled to their opinion after all He was just chanelling all he got to the building project while there were debts to pay.

For some of us that doesn't sound right.


Let's learn to call out bad behaviour abeg

lefemmechoclat:
In my own culture in haiti and as. Christian. Two become one. It's not like I don't contribute.i have always done my own part and more than the typical wife would do.i thini I deserved that respect as I suffered working to make sure we were ok. My kids should have money in the bank before a house

ImaIma1:
But he should have waited till they were more stable before embarking on such a project, not while she was working extra to keep them up. He didn't have to build it on her sweat and not telling her. It was not a life or death situation. It could wait.

I can't help but think that you support the guy's actions from your comments. Like igbos are meant to build houses while neglecting their families. How is that a cultural thing? It's more of a showing off thing. So that his parents can have bragging rights.

About the house being "theirs"...you should know that as a typical igbo man, he will most likely marry a Nigerian wife (that's if he hasn't done that already). So which wife co-owns the house? Let's not act like we don't know what our people are capable of.

He is behaving like the typical deceptive Nigerian man that marries a foreigner in a foreign land for its benefits.

NoToPile:
Ogbeni stop condoning bad Behaviour jare, haba some of you should fear God nau.

So you are saying it's cultural to build a mansion which you have stated is for show off in your words 'signature of a little success'.

Signature of success at the expense of your wife's sweat and blood haba.

You keep saying it's not for his parents, the woman has said it consistently its for his parents, even if it is their own personal family home which we all know can almost never be , he was waiving a lot of responsibility to his immediate family by building that house that alone is the betrayal.

How some of you can't see anything wrong in all these is baffling.

CountVersailles:
Na wa o. In 2022, educated people are allowing stupid people decide how their lives should go. Oga, you better go and pick up programming like the younger folks are doing.

1Sharon:
Just look at them. Classic christian hypocrites.

If this topic was about a traditionist father that was forcing his christian son to partake in traditional practises, is this what you'll still say ? Or will you encourage his to rebel as hard as he can?

lefemmechoclat:
Ok so in a marriage it's permissible to hide things for months and even talk about it while knowing you are doing the opposite and your whole family know except your wife that hustled with you? In igbo culture a woman doing that would be almost put out.

We can argue back and forth without coming into agreement ....Let me try and explain for the last time...

What I said was... He should have told you. Both of you should have been on the same page on the project.... But again...., He knows the kind of woman he married... He knows that even in 20 years time, You will never approve...considering what you have been posting here...Anyone who can read between the lines will understand the reasons why you were not told,.... you will always have a reason why the building project should not be actualized and both of you will never be on the same page...

You keep on saying that that was his parent's house... No dear... It isn't... That was his house( your house).., His Parents were only using that house to boast of their son's success...It's not like in America where when u say a house belong to a parents, it was indeed/actually belongs to parents,,...The parent cannot do anything in that house without your husband's consent.

In Igbo culture, I believe Some husband will not put their wife off while embarking on such project because they share the same culture...Again it depends mainly on the woman too...If they share the same vision and mission...

Please do not take it to heart, What he did was cultural( building to sign in a signature of a little success in his home town)which unfortunately impacted you negatively, The building did not last forever right? he will start contributing the way u wanted it after the project...

Angelfrost:
I no wan talk much based on the disgraceful way Super Eagles take comot Afcon...

So, I will let this insult slide!

Besides, with everything Naija these days, it's always best to keep one's fingers crossed!

Gone are the days when we had a national team of real quality!!!

Backlaw406:
May be you misused the word "introvert"

May be you wanted to say extrovert.

Introvert doesn't talk too much, they even find it difficult to crack a joke with the people except from those circumstance it very important, such as;

Boyfriend want to make the communication between him and his girlfriend lively and vice-versa


Introvert don't just open their mouth whaa,whaa and be talking trash because their nature short of word. The little that would come out of their mouth had already passed through assessment in their brain before coming out. They do thinking more than talking, even though they are busy with something they would still get that conscious mind.

MILLERMannn:
Introvert don't do that. Don't misjudge people.

SniperSmurf:
Which type of cannabis plant be this for front

Klass99:
I just bust laff @ the bolded. Your yeye full ground this year and this is just Quarter 1 of 2022.

Karleb:
Toor! Even friends!

People even teach strangers for free just because they like them.

Infact, money should not be a reason the woman shouldn't train her in law in this case.

The matter just dey annoy me sha.

Make e no pain you buddy.. some people are wired differently..

I can just imagine her kids going to her aunt's house in future... Which happens to be this OP's sister...


Nephew: Aunty how come there are no meat in this food...

Aunty: U say?... If I remember your mother, u no go even ask for a cup of water in this house...