₦airaland Forum

alexvic12:
It isn't an issue of capability but one of clouded judgment.
Some women give advise from clouded judgments.
For example, women will always want a man to spend on a girl but would be angry when their brothers decide to spend on a random girl (except their bosom friend).

If you had posited your opinion like this, that would have been termed civility.

A man is refusing to care for his kids cause he wants to take them far away from their mother. A woman he's not married to.

What happened to peaceful co-parenting?

What could be that bad that you can't care for your kids?

dapadawee:
And you were able to get 11 likes for this idiot word that escaped for gutter mouth

Your own latrine mouth that is incapable of any form of civility is clear for the world to see.

Just look at you.

Rubbiish:
What kind of biased submission is this??
Does the kids belong to the woman alone?
Now that she doesn't have the capacity to take care of the kids, is it not best they go back to their father? Won't op have his own kids?

@op tell your wife to return those kids to their father, or at least return one, let her keep one, or those children will suffer for nothing & will still end looking for their dad when they grow up. U have own life to life & your children should come first. Let her return them now, because when u start having kids with this your financial capacity, those children will suffer for nothing. & it will be unfair on those children, especially when they have a father who could have easily fend for them.

The man is blackmailing the woman with the kids. If he loves them, let him provide for their upkeep at least.

Na born them born for each other, why should they be a thorn in each other's flesh?

Kingcalls:
Don't ever take an advice from a woman when it comes to relationship issues cos u will be ruined

So women aren't capable of good advice?

Abi?

omoadeleye:
Stfu

Only an idiot with no capability of civility will write what you put up there.

Carchoice:


This is sad!


What you are saying is, it’s better they resent their father instead. Nice.

How can they resent their father if he provides for them?

Carchoice:


Are they not the man’s children as well? He doesn’t want to abandon them too

No. He's ready to abandon them as long as he is not providing and that's selfish.

What kind of woman leaves her kids just cause of another man?

ANTIFA:
I don't want to put her in a cell. i Just want a police to warn her.

A warning might not be enough.

You can try it sha.

ANTIFA:
The woman is one those Igbo women that maltreats their house help. She literally stabs them sometimes. The girl ran.

Wow.

ANTIFA:
I do have witnesses, my brothers and neighbors.
Please how much do you think is required?

I don't know. Maybe like 5-10k.

Let them just keep her there for like 6 hours.

Note that you'd be making an enemy sha o.

ANTIFA:
Thank you ma, I want to know what the police would demand. I don't want to get her arrested. I just want to like you said "teach her a lesson"

You'll prolly need to spend some money to tip the police to keep her in their cell for at least, 6 hours, let her sweat out her choices.

But hope you have witnesses?

You should go with a witness.

If you can let it go, let it go.

If you can't, report to the nearest police station.

People need to be taught a lesson on how to keep their hands to themselves.

I recently attended a marriage seminar that made me understand why some people react the way they do in times of conflict.

The Rhino and Hedgehog scenario and qualities were compared.

A woman can react like a Rhino while a man like a hedgehog, a man can react like a Rhino and the woman a hedgehog or both can be Rhinos or hedgehogs.

It's good to understand how your partner reacts to situations so you can talk things through in a saner manner, as long as there is no physical abuse.

In all, you both should go for counselling, you are obviously the Hedgehog of the marriage and she a Rhino.

I know verbal and emotional abuse is as bad as physical abuse but once you take divorce out of the table, you'd be able to find other ways to resolve you're conflicts. You both need counselling and you need to express how you both feel in your counselling sessions.

All the best.

MODIFIED

The link below explains in summary what the Rhino and Hedgehog analogy is about as well as the pros and cons of being any of the two.

It could help somebody.

https://claritylifeconsulting.com/respond-to-conflict-rhino-vs-hedgehog/

To those telling him to let the father take his kids, if you were one of those kids, won't you resent your mother for abandoning you?

Wouldn't you ask that "what type of mother will abandon her kids?"

@Op, you knew she had kids when you married her, I know it's not easy, but you both will have to double your hustle. Get other side businesses, cut your coat according to your material.

If you'll need to downgrade their school, do so, if you'll need to move to a cheaper area, do so.

Do all you can to cut cost.

Those kids will never understand or forgive their mum in the future.

Use two side look the matter.

Another thing your wife can do is to take him to court, especially for child support.

Let her get a good lawyer if she wants him to care for his children.

MODIFIED

She can go through FIDA to sort out Co-parenting and child support agreement.

For those coming for me, if you're not capable of talking like a homosapien, don't mention me, cause I no well. I will drag you from here to Timbuktu. So come correct

Comedian2019:
Bubu no go gree sign am.

Them fit override him signature if they really want.

McOluOmo:
it's not done yet

I know, but they are close to it. After third reading, the hurdle is small.

We tank tha Lord o. At least, them see that one do.

FunnyDude:
Bro, don't blame that barber, he wasn't experienced enough to read between the lines.

Women are very deceptional using emotional blackmail to get gains from men.

Thank God for Redpill movement of Nairaland. It is well.

I am female actually.

Caleycashh:
No I won't!!!, but I'm more concerned about your post... It has nothing to do with the post!

So what is wrong with my post?

Would have saved us the stress and just snap in her birthday suit.

Do they do these surgeries for themselves or for men?

Cause those who did it for men still ended up with men who cheats on them, even with the fake brezz and nyash.

So do they do it for themselves?

Is it a gastric bypass or BBL?

The answer will determine if I'll show some sympathy or not.

Gentlerespect76:
If you are working as you have said, it's either you marry this girl or forget her. You shouldn't be this naive, man.

What if she's unfaithful. You want him to marry an unfaithful woman so that he will be creating infidelity posts on Nairaland every week?

You guys will never learn.

It's a relationship 4gorsake, not a marriage.

If the red flags are there, end the relationship. Why do you guys come to Nairaland to look for who will help you end stupid relationships?

You shouldn't be sponsoring a woman in school if you're not married to her. You can contribute but outright sponsorship, na you born her?

That's how our barber looked heartbroken the last time we were there, when we asked him what happen, Oga said his relationship of several years just ended. That he sponsored the aunty through school from OND to HND. Aunty is done with school and is preparing for NYSC, she called Oga to tell Oga that the only ground for her getting redeployment or posting to Abuja where he is, is if she has a marriage certificate.

Oga said there had to be another way as he is not financially ready for marriage, na so babe no gree call or pick up calls o. That's how the relationship ended.

This yeye barber then told us how he has been sleeping in his shop so he can meet up with her needs, guess what? Baba didn't go to school.

I just begin swear for the girl say she no go use the certificate do anything for her life.

Caleycashh:
who is she having the sex with if she can't give it to her husband!?... Una like to twist everything!

So if your wife turns you down for sex, next thing to do is to beat her. Abi?

Na wa o.

At the point of abuse and violence on marriage, pack your bags and leave. Don't stay because of the children, that's a lie lazy women comfort themselves with cause they can't work to cater for their children.

Those children you're claiming to stay for will see the abuse every day and think it is normal.

Your sons could end up becoming abusers, your daughters will see abuse as part of a normal marriage. That's if you even live long enough to see them marry.

Run.

When he has shown signs of changing, you both can work it out.

Me I feel modern marriages are partnerships where everything should be shared including bills, chores, child care and cooking.

It is sha important to discuss these things before getting married.

Know if you're expected to be a traditional wife that cooks, cleans and stays at home or a working woman who also contributes to the house and expects other aspects of your marriage to be shared as well.

Shey southern lawmakers also contributed to making the bill happen.

Skipperrabiu:
no be yoruba man yahoo yahoo and oduduwa na 5&6

So the yahoo boys wey them dey catch for South East and South South, them too na Yoruba?

These same people borrowing to eat will still sell their vote for 1k and a mudu of rice on 2023.

Jerryherd:
That can work also, infact that's a better idea.. That's what they do back then, nursery schools only admit kids after reaching certain age

We need to go back to that pattern.

No be every body wey born pikin be papa or mama o.

Some na just sperm or egg donors.

If you check, na yahoo e wan use the lappy do.