₦airaland Forum

Great!!! post, hoepfully people will come out to enlighten us.

Nope, gat me my husband.

neyostica: Yes am serious, you women of nowadays are spoilt brats n requires thorough beating to put you in check

You too be ready to receive enough kpankere from above and beyond.

Yes we are!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!as in court marraige, option for divorce is present.

Traditionally, you can marry as many as you can care for and option for divorce is also present.

Church wedding, oh yes!!!!!!!!one-man- one wife. and till death do them part. That one gan sef no option for divorce.

Tgirl4real: My dear, God will also use someone as a mouthpiece.

Not in all cases, sometimes you find your answers in the Bible, Koran, journals and so on. Sometimes the answer can be just staying ''still and quiet''.

I had a question about something february, i was praying for a solution for someone, and that same day, we had a program in church, my dear...the answers i needed was in the book of Isaiah, the same problem was what was preached about, immediately i called that person on getting home and gave her that Bible passage, that was all she did. And that was her ''miracle'' right there.

Most of the time, it is all about connecting to the right people, being at the right place at the right time, focusing on the right things.And somehow deep within us, we just know if something is right or wrong, anybody who pretends not to know is only deceiving himself or herself.

agiboma: @Modele in my expreince with this type of man confrontation does not work. I know cause i fight with mine for over 18 months straight and nothing good came out of it. We have been together for 9 years now,so for me i simply just focus on other things these days and surprisingly he is more interested as i do this. He cares what i say, he listens to me now and i have a flashback of the man i once knew the hubby i loved years ago. Now all this change does not happen over night so have patience, it will work out in the end.

Good for you Agiboma, sometimes when you focus on the problem for too long, it becomes a problem, for men, just give them the space they so much want in few minutes, with you focusing on other things, that is when they will be in your business.

If you are christian and a believer listen to God, if you are muslim listen to Allah, for the Atheist!!! well, i guess you listen to yourself.

Not husbands not family, we have cases where men kill their wives and women kill their husbands, and family, because of what they would gain kill their brothers,sisters, cousins and so on.

ifyalways: Hey,Johndoe Mr Internet Nigerians.I've missed you here,was just asking after you and Harakiri today.Richvcunt is still around and holding down the torch,obviously.

Glad to have around.

Dem plenty, add Neyostica'.

neyostica: Wil you girls shu.t the f**kup, you are annoying, na you go first marry Damn!

EEeeyah and it is a woman that will marry you ooo!!!!! hey !!! see pity in buckets. It is well.

uche13: @ Jennykadry, I have been able to analyse your post and i was able to deduce two things.

1. You have no problem with people posting and you are not discouraging people from seeking counsel about their problems.

2. You are however, pissed with people who post and wallow in pity rather than act on their advice they are given here.

One has to be patient to analyse the thoughts you wanted to communicate but looking at your post face value, it rather looked that you were irked with the frequent complains people were posting. Firstly, as a medical personnel yourself i think, you get to see lots of cases at the hospital because it is only the sick that have need of a physician. It does not however mean that the majority of folks living have one ailment or the other but by virtue of your work place exposure, you may come home feeling depressed and tired of the many cases of sickness you have seen.

Also, if I spend so much time in the crime section, believe you me, I would live a life of fear because i would become so crime conscious and fear would creep into my heart. A pathway i always pass on the normal day would look so creepy because i would feel someone is lurking around waiting to strike. The solution is not the people posting because whether they post or not doesn't mean that crime does not exist neither does it reduce its frequency. For my personal sake, i may need to take a conscious break from the section because of the negative impact it has built in my subconscious.

On the issue of people not heeding to counsel given, i need you to understand that whether or not the original poster listen does not mean that someone else has not learnt from what you said. Even Jesus in the bible had secret disciples you know. If you also take time to scroll down, you would notice that the number of guests viewing a topic is more than the number of registered members. That simply means that the impact of the advice given in this forum cannot be undermined. So no counsel is a waste whether or not the poster listens.

But seriously, anybody who logged in with the intention of sharing a problem would simply keep quiet and out of fear decline to share on account of the topic of the post.

Cheers!

Gbaa!!!! At last someone else understands God this all about meaning of meaning ( semantics).

free2ryhme: @lonamy: Dont mind dat waka waka dem think say marriage na bentley, moet and twin duplex building in the choicest area in lagos.

SO where is your own marraige? in the gutter, for ajegule? yaba left? abi na kirikiri?

Lastpage just saw your replies, you say i am too fast to condemn the man, why are you writing all these epistles? is it not because you 'believe' he is innocent? why are you so sure he is really innocent as he claims? what if the letter written by whoever is true? i don't know him neither do i know his family or person, but i know in every rumour there is an atom of truth.

Lets assume it is the wife's sister that wrote that letter, do you think the woman in question cannot confide in her sister to tell her what has been happening in her home? Please this is not about ignorance, both of us are on the same platform here, you don't know them, i don't know them, you are not right, i am not right, you are not wrong, i am not wrong. You get my drift?

neyostica: Lets say mariage is a ship, then the man is the captain, while the woman is an assistant

Helper not assistant.

Richy i think you need to read the post again, yourself, you are allowing sentiments to have a better part of you, if the post came from another person from this forum am sure you will either reply; Hmmnm!! or just type two lines, but because it is coming from Jennykadry, you think it is offensive. But shaa we have heard you. ( and don't think i am suporting her, am not, maybe it's just the way i see or understand her post, i read it again and again and it still has the same meaning to me.

neyostica: A helper and not a partner

Ok.

Hey guys, am back again!!!! how all of una?

Logs for tuesday; 40 minutes belly-off total cardio, very intense but great.

Logs for yesterday,; 30 minutes ''dorm burn'' cardio and muscles building. Am still sore from doing it, i no know whu send me oooo, but i was ripped.

@HG, 1000 what? girl!! you don't hurt yourself ooooo, that is too much naaa!!!

Mine is ''olomi''......

neyostica: It will be when you women learn to accept your place.

And what is the woman's place?

Richvkunt: Solicitor ronke,did you read the original post at all or were you in too much of a hurry to defend your stable mate?

Let me go and read it....brb................

Oh!!!! yes i did, i don't blame the poster for being angry, it is really annoying when you see, read or hear that so many people are going through tough times maritally, and is not fair that one cannot snap the fingers and everything will arrange itself. so it worths getting angry and frustrated, Nigeria will soon start having divorces on the high side now because of the lack of understanding that marraige is meant for 2 people and not 1 person. The ''two'' have to agree, and if there is no 'agreement' then there is no ''marraige''.

And i was not defending Debrief, i was just replying to your post. Uncle wa!!!

blank: I don't have a medical background but i have heard a little about Endometrioses. Is it not a disease of the womb? How is that related to the lungs? For her to give birth though she had the illness, i can imagine the amount of procedures she had to do to have her kids. Maybe a doctor can confirm?

I had not seen this, when my guts was telling me that this woman or man, that just came out to cover Kevin's arse is lying, and trust me, my mind does not deceive me. Well whether it is the truth or not, we will know on the LAST DAY. God sees and will judge everyone, according to their deeds.

My dear, marraige is beautiful but full of it's own problems, we need God to be the foundation of every home, (too bad, some people do not believe in God). The devil wants to destroy whatever God does, and if he sees that you are having it all (under God's care), he will attack that person, but it takes God to be able to overcome him, with intense wisdom from Above.

We all need divine wisdom in all aspect of life, because it helps us make the right decisions, from the beginning, with reference to whom you choose to marry and all what is. There are storms in every marraige but we all stand those storms differently, some marraige are being swept away by this storms, others are not. My advice is that everyone should please look well before you leap.

Richvkunt: ^^^^

Madam,
If the person had self esteem they would not really be here complaining would they?
People are here to seek solutions to their problems-If you and the usual suspects don't feel like listening to their pathetic stories please do not read them and do not post sanctimonious replies!
However since it is a free world,let them have their pathetic SAY!

Richy, it is not about the complains, it is about the problems people are having in marraiges, i don't think anybody is tired of giving advice, i just think we all need to work on our individual attitudes and perception towards life, marraige and relationship with others.

My dear, nothing you use will work, just wait till you have your baby, your skin complexion will be back. Ndo!!!!

OHHHHHH!!! ABASI!!!!!!!!!! OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

free2ryhme: Sometime I wonder if you read the post before rusing to comment. Is It Normal For A Wife To Ignore Serving Her Husband Food ( becos she is angry with her husband). Mdm we did ask for your story of your life but comment on the issue the way it is presented.

Where in the post did you read that both of them had an arguement? mdm dont twist the post and hit the nail on the head. How una dey take pass sef...

Oh!!! i can now clearly see that you are looking for my trouble, now i don't know if i should indulge you or let it pass, ( i am thinking about it) but in the meantime, since your eyes are so bogus or oversize to read that i was replying to Dayokanu's post, above. You are taking this matter personal, na you start this thread in the first place? How this matter dey pain you? I am still wondering.

chaircover: Sadly, there are a lot of people, both male and female going through all sorts of challenges in their marriages and even though the stories may sound one kind to many of us, unfortunately these things are happeneing.

I try and give the little advice that I have because I know that there may be someone somewhere who may benefit from some of it.

But you are right, many of these problems arise from very shaky and bad foundations and a lot of the advice is just medicine after death.

I really wish that there were proper marriage courses that both men and women can attend much earlier in their lives and not just the marriage counselling that churches do AFTER you have already chosen the man/woman that you want to marry and you have already chosen a date for the marriage.

I will really like it, if marriage counselling becomes a compulsary GCE subject and university module. Many people dont even know the meaning of being married and what marriage really means.

Great idea, if it can be added, it would be a big help, things are not just right!!! the way this marraige is trending. Only God knows where it will end, if we don't stand up to do something.

dayokanu: Google Helen Akpabio.

Or child witches

wish i could look at that nasty picture!!! she should be arrested and never released to see daylight again, that is evil!!!!!!

thebrideng: I always have repsects for you when I read your comments, but this one made me loose one of the respect. How can you say such. A wife's duty is to serve her husband inrespect of quarrell or no quarell. It is not right for the woman to ignore her responsibility, no matter what happens.

So what will your respect do for me, buy me the latest mercedes or range rover??, just because you agree to my post at times is not a guarantee that you will agree with me all the time. Men do not carry their balls in their hands, and walk around the town showing it off, the issue on ground is no issue at all, and that is part of the reasons we have abusive relationships there in Nigeria, my question again is, what is the big-deal with dishing your food yourself?, which is not usually the case, why can't he dish his own food once in awhile?, how has that degraded him or has it suddenly turned his man-hood to a sponge?

uche13: Thank you everyone jare.
I am giving any bit of advice to someone so strong headed. Can you just imagine, i was able to get the whole story and it down right disgusts me.

Firstly, this girl is the first and prior to her parents having issues, she was very close to her dad. When her dad abandoned them, she woke up one day and said she was going to look for her dad. She was abt 14 then. She was successful in her bid and against our advice moved in with his family. She know last there one month sef before running to her mum and complaining of her step mum maltreating her.

Now seven years later, she is acting so silly. What transpired is that after her fiancee told her that his people said it is an abomination to do the wedding in her mum's place, she told her mum and called her dad secretly. The mum got a call one day after 7 yrs from her "husband". After series of exchange of hate mails between the two of them, the girl quarreled with the mum and had the guts to tell her that she wants her to go through what she the mum went through.

To cut the story short, she(daughter) deleted her father's name from the mum's phone, told him her mum is being difficult, went ahead and presented the traditional wedding list to the father without even showing the mum and has now moved out of the house.

very sillly and immature daughter. May God help divorced or separated mothers who against all odds struggle to raise their kids.

@MBJ,
All i said was that i advise women who are separated from their spouse not to be too proud to collect funds from their husband if he offers to render any help to the kids. My reason is that the kids in the future are likely to forgive their dad and then he begins to reap where he did not sow.

My dear, i ahd not read this before i sensed that, that girl is foolish, and really what you sow, you will reap. I don't pray for problems in her marraige, but by the time she starts to see wehn!!! it is this her mother she will run to.

OH Jenny, my frustration was last week, infact i would just read and shake my head, i tire, it is not that my marraige is 100% free of problems, but i don't have any cause for alarm, I just pray for all, everyone including my own marraige too. But the percentage is really sad, And infact i am beginning to see reasons why sometimes it is just good to be single and be happy, instead of marrying someone you think will love you and respect you and turns out to be your worst nightmare, In that Nigeria, marraige has been turned to a battle field God help us.

Daresh: God bless you my sister. So to go to the kitchen and diah food is now the issue? Men are just jobless gossips these days.

I know, right!!!!! you can say that again, and he wore his coat(not suit oooo) to go to his friends house to gossip. really?!!!!

dayokanu: That your husband did it doesnt make it right, i believe that was why he came back to apologize to you

Its immature to attempt to "punish" your partner when you are having an argument

Some men have denied their house wife money for food because of argument, Does that make it right?

Some parents have used razor blade on their toddler when angry, Does that make it right?

maybe when you fight and one partner happens to be sick, the other can as well not tend to him cos he /she is angry

Razor blade on toddler?? where did it happen, that person needs to be arrested ASAP.