₦airaland Forum

Militant1:
I will try to be brief and straight to the point.

My wife stays up late (11pm -12 am) every blessed day.... That's the problem.

We live in Lagos and have 2kids, 3yo and 8 months. My wife was working before but left the job when she gave birth. There is a job waiting for her when the baby is 1y6mnths, therefore she is a stay at home mom.

We live on the mainland but I work on the island so I live home as early as five. In our house we have all the amenities you can think of; 24 hrs light (NEPA plus inverter), running water, gas, 2 washing machines etc to make a home 95percent comfortable but my wife can't seem to cope and it started when we had one child.

She doesn't wash my clothes, my office shirts and suits are given to dry cleaner to arrange while my other laundry I do myself every weekend with the washing machine.

When I get home by 7pm or 8, that's when she now starts rushing to bath the kids and prepare dinner, so we eat by 9 or 10. Before the kids play play and play, by 11pm we are still awake. Sometimes I go to bed by midnight and have to wake up by 4am to go to work again. It's impacting on my health and my work. She will sleep by 12 am and wake up by 8 or 9am the following day.

I have tried to beg and appeal to her. If I eat out and come home to just sleep, she go dey vex. If I just come home shower and sleep the kids who have passed their bedtime will be playing and when madam is ready to sleep they won't agree to sleep. She will beat them, guess who they will come crying to- daddy that just started sleeping and has to wake by 4am, I will now pet and pet till 2am before kids sleep.. I have advised her that kids have a bedtime(8pm). When I man up and off the tv by 9pm and tell everyone to go to bed, she says I am disrespecting her. She reports me to her mum.

Worse still our sex life is horrible... We have sex like once in 2 month.. At 35 I am in my sex prime and can Bleep everyday but she doesn't seem to care about me because she is always tired am I pity her so I don't demand sex so much.

I fully understand stay at home is not easy and I help her when.

I tried to create a schedule for her.

Wake up by 6am
By 7 she suppose don clean finish
By 8 breakfast should be ready for her, kids
9-10am bath herself and the kids
10-12 do any other stuff in the house
12-3pm rest, watch movies, chill
3-5pm... Do whatever she likes
5pm boil water and bath the kids
6pm she don bathe and bath kids
7pm... Food don done... Everything dey freezer
8pm we eat
By 9 everyone goes to bed and we knack 1hr

I throw the trash every day
Na me dey go market buy foodstuff
On weekends I clean the house
I wash my all my clothes
I provide all the finance in the house
I satisfy her on the bed when we naka. She begs me that she's tired
I buy her gifts, drop 3k for her everyday
Why should we have a house help when she is a stat at home mum (for now)

So what's the problem..


Mothers, are my demands too much?
Mothers, please when do you close your kitchen and go to bed?
Are you still awake by 11pm every blessed day.
Am I crazy?

Please advice me.

I have begged her, pleaded, shouted, done everything. Sometimes I intentionally come home late (10-11pm) thinking that the kids have gone to bed but my first child will be watching cartoon.

Please advice me. I am going crazy, Lagos is stressful

Not too deferential from my case. Baba. There is nothing u can do. Except u want the home to brake. They never listen, u re always wrong and have nothing to say. U see her mum, she wld have help advice and encourage her o. But no, let me say this and it's the best thing u will ever hear. Pray and pray again, again pray and pray again. After that try to make sure u continue to do the best. After that if it does not work, Bleep it get a girl friend. I mean a sharp girl friend. Money na problem, I know get another woman by the side. The only who can help in this matter is God. See them nor dey hear word. Get a sharp side chick cos in the end the marraige go still brake. I hope I spoke my mind. I pray u don't listen to me sha. I like peace, but in the end this is the only option we have. May God heal ur home.

TheNiceGuy:
U lack manner of approach.

U need more to learn

U lack what? U that spoke without facts lack manner of speech. U b big ode

david22uu:
ASUU IS ACADEMIC STAFF

HE IS NOT ON STRIKE, HE HIS BEING PAID
I think the bribes he received from students has stopped

This is corruption that fought back

MY OWN THINKING

Please just shut up.. speak only of what you know.

baby124:
. Be like you de apply for British visa. No waste your tears. Their whole family thinks they are more human and or better than you. They don’t give a damn about you, only your country’s resources.

Who told you this? Your mental enslavement is getting the better of u..
This woman must have done something right to have lived upto 96... if u understand life u go shhhh

Joshua999:
No it won't she died peacefully at 96 and Britain are proud of her keep defending your tribe

Oga read and understand.. this is not about tribe but humanity in general.. I am proud of the queens achievements as a human

israelmao:
Though I'm not in support of someone wishing his fellow human being excruciating pain or death but who can refute or dispute the facts she put forward about British Empire?

Nobody is disputing anything but she is now to me worse than the people she is accusing. Her words shows that she can kill the king if given an opportunity because of the past. This is a symptom of a sick person. Most psychos don't forgive.. she should be watched.

Joshua999:
Trash why don't you findout first ..she's wrong simple

Find out what? How my great grand or fore fathers was abused? God forbid.. it's in the past and will not continue the circle by hurting another person with my words all because of the past.. trust me, her words will hurt Harry's children too even if u don't care, it's painful. Stop the circle child.

Pray that u will not be held accountable for ur fathers sin when he is dead. This is what nigerian women are like. Her reigns started in 1952, 8 years later nigeria got her independence. History histor, most of uju supporters would claim.. life goes on, nigerian always like to remain in the past. Even after mrraige they will compare u with their ex boyfriend or thier father. Most of us have moved on from this colonial shit.. the truth is that uju grand parents may have aided the colonization by selling his people for a 4 by 4 mirror stand. Colonization may have affected Africa but the truth is that the people who witnessed it are mostly dead why have we refused to develop after many decades.. she wears stones stolen from other countries, wow, she shouldn't wear what she inherited again? Please and please life must go on.. well ipray u all find peace now that she is dead because when charles dies which is inevitable, u will still accuse him of what u accused the mother of.. u all learn to forgive that u may be forgiven. No matter how difficult it maybe but this is the truth about life.

OGHENAOGIE:
that's why I say go and sleep...

You want me to discuss politics with you when what we have before us is education. Obviously u have nothing to say. Except insults abi? But make I tell u I be combination combine combine.. just go play with kpangolo abeg u.. if ur mouth scratch u too much.. Ogun Naim go fire u this evening.

OGHENAOGIE:
comot for road Ina no like Truth mtcheew

What truth is there BTW buhari and education.. oya continue with ur assumptions.

OGHENAOGIE:
it's not just govt even Nigerians make it look like education na university alone that's why some pple were calling pmb illiterate despite passing thru secondary school attending a military academy too...

Please and please.. good evening..

OGHENAOGIE:
even in America pple do uber as side hustle... Academics isn't an arena to be super Rich... Teachers in public secondary schools or primary do de earn as lecturers... ? And lecturing is easier than primary secondary teacher work... But ASUU make it looks like education is just university education

The government makes education looks like it's all about the university. Other issues does not relate to my comments. Except you are bringing up a new debate. Like earlier said, before the strike, lecturers were involved in other things. Please try hard to understand my assertions.

Not only uncal. But all universities.. it's not just uber drivers.. many other things. Before the strike alot of lecturers were Uber drivers especially at night to survive. People think lecturers just collect blocking up and down. It's not entirely true.. just in every area of life you find bad people. This does not mean that everybody is bad.

[quote author=Kentuforchrist post=116321468]Absolutely yes,though there are disadvantages[/quot

Disadvantages like?

Kentuforchrist:
Though I feel for the students
That was one of the reason I choose National open university abeg

It's the national open university certicate appreciated? Educate me..can a lecturer be recognized for have a phd in open university? Please educate me.

Elsueno:
Bros, d chairman utterances no be here Woh, he single handedly made ASUU look worse than they are...D govt also took advantage of dat..APC is especially deceptive too, they just push ASUU naked 4 outside...ASUU just met a govt more devious than them & d students who would actually pressure d govt are seeing both as evil entities trying to destroy them

What utterances? Sometimes you have to fight for your very existence not minding who is behind you who believes in you.

Elsueno:
Oga, it's simply ASUU saw election is near as usual, they want to do thier almost annual strikes . But unfortunately dis govt don give a shyt & to make matters worst 4 ASUU, thier chairman & spokesman is waaaaay too emotional which ended up exposing ASUU selfishness...They should change dat chairman ASAP b4 he turns everyone against them

Bros u talk from a position of lack of information, before the election came close there have been everything to show that there is a big strike coming, if the government refuse to negotiate or do the right thing by ways of perior strikes and communications. There is nothing like annual strike but the government inability to meet up with agreement annually. This government don't give a shit, we all know but it will not stop the right thinking people to do the right thing, if you were born during the military Era, you will understand what am talking about. U talk about emotions by the chairman, the chairman is just a chairman nothing big about him. It's a body of intellectuals who makes decisions through various channels, his tenure may soon be over and and another chairman. So it's nothing emotional with the head, it's the body's decisions.. let Nigerians learn to look at issues decisively and we would all be better for it.. oh boy e be like say u be student sha..

This is not a problem, let school resume and you will know, that's y no work no pay by the government is the dumbest thing a government who are intellectual inclined wld do.. one thing people don't understand is that this strike is a long time coming. The g knew and did nothing about it. Instead they prepared for the worse assu would do.. our government secondary schools are dead.. this is a last fight to help the university. Very soon u this urchin and sentimental warlords will not have these public universities no more. God help nigeria

kingamaa:
Bros e, e be like say women don show you pepper before. It is well

Nor be small... as we type, them still dey show me pepper but my time will.. while I wait I stay happy.

kingamaa:
Lol
which video? Is ok o.

In the video where he exposed her. Some women are heartless don't be surprise, it was with someone he know. Sometimes u av to wait to give them where it hurts mostif it will make happy instead of involving in violence.. plan it.. see oga.. make just rest. Thanks.

kingamaa:
This has nothing to do with age and everything to do with peace of mind. PEACE

And believe he got is peace of mind, which was shown in the video

kingamaa:
Watch yourself bros. Vengeance/revenge does more harm to you physically, psychologically, mentally and spiritually. Let go and be free. It ain't worth it.

Don't understand, what's the vengeance in this, he just talked when he felt like talking. See it seems am way older than u.. u won't understand.

kingamaa:
Bros e, wetin you dey time there. U b ment case.

When she did her own, shay na her time, when the guy did his shay it's his time.. ur type is never patient. Timing is sometimes sweet. The gratification in doing something sometimes is the reason y people do what dey do.. if that time gave him gratification, good.. oga u never grow so na u dey wit mental case for now.

[quote author=kingamaa post=116144031]This is an old video, has been around for a while

No need to have gone to that length, just break up with her if you can't forgive her and let everyone go in peace. Shikena[/quot


Shut up abeg. Everything na timing...

tommy589:
Why going to such length

Please shut up.. everybody got thier time... am going to do same soon... but this time inside marraige.

tctrills:
Oga I don't understand what you are saying. I am talking football you are talking Buhari.

Ok... I see now. Doh

brightbright:
Video

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Gu8vM0rsStM

Tinubu is never too old to be President, I have met with him, Tinubu is not Money Conscious like Others,is the Right Man for the Job -Tony Kabaka

2023:Edo APC youths leader,Tony Kabaka makes case for the presidential candidate of the ruling party APC,Bola Ahmed Tinubu, says he is never too old.

https://www.instagram.com/tv/ChaQkdyjM26/?igshid=YmMyMTA2M2Y=

Do people pay to bring their news to front page.. please I need to know.. nairaland done grow to understand its workings... seriously this front page has made me think twice. I don't think I belong here anymore. I saw people complain about nairaland never took it serious.. who be Tony way dey make front page. See nija and life need evil to succeed

tctrills:
The world chooses to forget. Careers were cut short for Messi to grow.

Your sentiment is deep and sickening, so you mean Jonathan carrier was cut short for buharri to rule? In life if it's ur turn its ur turn.. be wise.. u go get better beef 4 ur heart

onoja12:
People who haven't traveled the world wouldn't understand what is happening, in Brazil and Argentina blacks are second class citizen, it is open knowledge that Messi is a racist. what is going on is Messi and neymar had tried to get mbappe sold out of the club but God stood for him, he is delivering result while both of them cant, in my book Messi needs to leave that club.

Messi is a racists but working with a black k Neymar to mess another black.. Brosnan organize ur thoughts. Ur sentiments is sickening

Lalakas:
Am not happy with my husband's utterances towards me. He unapologetically told me my duties are just 2: to give him se. X and to cook. This guy has really hurt me in this marriage, he seems not to know how to talk.

I work and equally contribute to everything. I dont hide my income and i give him for the building we are both building. I am not useless and i am not a liability to him.

How it all started :
Moimoi or beans is for every other Friday or Saturday ( moimoi could be ones in 6 weeks except my kids specially ask for it) but for a while now whenever I prepare any of the 2 he would complain, regect it. He told me he doesn't like them during the week and I will never prepare them Sunday to Thursday. Friday because he won't be going to work the following day. My kids like eating moimoi very well, infact, it is one their best meals. Atimes, they ask for it. My husband sees moimoi and beans as crap. Guys, he buys it and eat it outside!, my moimoi doesn't purge anyone of us. Even him but he'd keep saying he purges with moimoi, it's just an excuse.

It is difficult to cook 2 foods, i will not stop making moimoi or beans because of him, my kids like the meal so much. For the fact that he buys it out there and this food is what we usually enjoy together before now, i cant stop cooking it.

He has in many ways abused me, he is not someone I should even go the extra mile for, he doesnt sacrifice for me, he doesn't respect me, he doesn't stay close to me except when he wants se. X, always going out. He is very scarce at home. I can't cook 2 foods on days i cook moimoi or beans.

And for telling me my duties are just 2 in his life, I feel abused for allowing him have se. X with me all these while, i feel like a kitchen tool for cooking for him. His intentions and motives about a women are so demeaning.

I am feeling so ashamed of myself. He place no value on me.

All you kept saying is my kids mykids.. how about our children or our kids.. something tells me u are a self centered person.

In short I did not finish reading before I made my earlier comment. Seemed ehhh my friend shut up. U nor wise.. sorry if na insult o but na the truth so e nor fit be insult

If Sanusi contested for president, I will vote him, I am from the south but believe me, this man has paid yhe price. Truth, no one is perfect.. believe none is perfect but Sanusi done show say na correct human.

Very healthy conversation, I love both of them... they will go far.. please daughter, listen to your mum, see ehnnn nothing dey the life..