₦airaland Forum

Guys are getting married!! Is it about getting married on Saturday?
What happens next after the wedding?Are these couples truly happy after that saturday wedding? How long is their joy and love going to last?Will the marriage stop both of them from cheating? My brother marriage is not the answer ooo!!Most of these married People are suffering and smiling cos there is no perfect marriage..

lukui:
nothing is wrong with the times


change your mindset


guys are getting married every saturday for my area, i am not saying one should rush into marriage, but when the heart is willing it will find one million ways, and when it isnt it will find one million excuses.

Just let her have the phone but try and get back your sim,besides a Christian and a Muslim has a comma in it for light and darkness has nothing in common,u will have to deal with morals here,values and standards which are totally different from yours,that sacrifice is not worth it and the girl in question is not worth it as well,u have wasted three months already with her,plus money u spent on the phone,so count ur loss like money spent on alcohol or pleasures and let it go,is one of those things to learn from in life..

Daytonbale:
Brother not am soft, I was thinking she a girl with better upbringing

For the records, girls like to exploit guys,manipulate guys and make them act stupid or childish all in the name of stupid love!!how in Gods name did u end up giving her your sim?is she your wife?even if she was!!its so stupid to do,the earlier guys understand that there is nothing like love from these bitches the better,she just used u cos even the lost phone may not be actually lost,girls are in for only what they could gain or benefit from weak and stupid guys,she has gotten what she wanted and moved on sharperly with no feelings at all for u,all she was doing before was acting a role in a movie with u,now the movie is ended or to be continued provided her current ATM messes up,she might be forced to come back to u a "sure maga abi mugu" hehehe..Grow up and stop thinking every feeling u have is love,act with your sense and brains when it comes to women and stop letting them use u or exploit u anymore cos it is their nature!!please join the stingy men association,save yourself from hurts cos women do not need soft and caring hands but the opposite, if u soft for her,she will make u cry and if u are hard for her,u will make her cry and be the one coming after u..

Don't be so hard on yourself,enough of the critics you given to yourself, Time they say heals the wounds,pray more now,listen to music more especially gospel music ie if u are a Christian, I have some simple steps I would have shared with u that is very easy to overcome disappointment and regret, is a pity I can't share it here in a public forum cos it might sound weird and odd..But While purging yourself of every bad energy she instilled in you,delete every memory of her from ur head and heart,remove every guilt too that u feel about ur past escapes and the female chats,,..Your ex only used that as a tool to pry on your conscience and inflict u drastically so it will be as if the break up was your fault,she had it planned out cos she knew of the sex before and it wasn't a problem,she only waited for the right time to strike on your intelligence.. U were very predictable to her that's why,this heart ache was given to u for a lesson so u don't repeat same in your current relationship,giving heed to regrets will only attract more situations to regret,so let all regrets go,let the hurts go,let the money and time u wasted go,let it all go,forgive yourself for your mistakes, accept yourself even in this worse state,no one can do this better for u but u,.. Fall in love at your own peril,let her be the one to love u..

RavagedHeart:
Yeah. I've been on many red pill thread here on nairaland. I still find it hard to ignore my regrets for doing this to myself. I know I'm a million times better than this, that's why I feel so dissatisfied.
I'll keep trying harder to purge my heart of the bad energy she injected in me, so I could at least keep my head straight and enjoy life as before.
My current girlfriend always complain she doesn't understand my kind of person, that I seem odd. I just laugh and shake my head.
Family love and the encouragements I got from people here is what kept me away from suicide at some point. Since I could survive that phase, I can survive this phase too.

A lot of People go through this phase where nothing makes sense anymore,where they go through so much hurt and depression as a result of a heartbreak but then this should not be u,I was just in your shoes years back when I walked in on my gf and best friend,I couldn't believe it,one minute did not feel real the next it was true,2 people I loved so much! I contemplated suicide as an option but my love for my mum stopped me,I couldnt afford to fail my mum,she did everything for me to stand on my feet so that love made me never to go on that lane and besides I happen to red stuffs written here by Red pillers,that helped me go through the pain victoriously,look for stuffs written by ubunju a guy on this nairaland,it will help u,u need to face reality and see the female folks as what they truly are my brother..And find sth to live for cos a man who has nothing to live for is not fit to live,women will always be women with their manipulative and deceptive nature,but don't let that ruin or define your life..Cos u are better than this,the cheap slut is not even worth it,I know u don't want to hear that, u have no right loosing your interest that's the only thing that will keep u sane..

RavagedHeart:
Now the bolded is where I have problem. My fire has gone so cold that nothing really interests me anymore. All the things I'm passionate about in the past now almost disgust me. I lost interest in every and practically forcing myself through everyday living.
I feel very dissatisfied with everything, even when they're not really bad. I'm just so messed up right now and in continuous struggle to keep my life under control.

Yes bro,that is the best u can do for yourself,don't be deceived by people's fake life on social media,we all are struggling with one thing or the other,such is life,everyone on earth has s few days and these days are full of struggle,people might pretend and hide theirs but that doesn't change the fact that inwardly they still have what they struggle with cos no life is perfect..The reason I deviated a bit is for u to know u must face your reality now,accept things the way they are,however cold or low and strife for a better u,love yourself more now and validate yourself so u won't need any girl to be the one to make u feel better,bring back that old passion that made u live in confidence before,don't let that fire quench,is it music that did it for u before?
get back to it,is it hanging out with friends? Just do it, do those things u were doing before that made u feel good with yourself and never get tired of self discovery cos we continue to do that till we die,that's the reason we live..

RavagedHeart:
Getting my life back has been a work in progress ever since. I wouldn't say I'm satisfied with my progress so far. Not just about the money, but finding that old me that I used to know.
It seemed like the old me died and another person spawned in replacement. It's like starting self-discovery afresh and It's more like a struggle this time.

However, I have decided to live by the moment and accept that some damages can not be fixed.

Op u have made the mistake already,try and receive sense,u wasted a good Money on her,any money spent on a woman is a waste,u wasted your job,wasted your time on someone who is not worth it,she used u to get polished knowing fully well she will dump u at any time,u have made ur self so little before her,that's why she is showing u no mercy by watching u suffer,grow up and get healed by developing Yourself,channel your energy to your life,interests,dreams,job,start saving and keeping money,invest in yourself,read,dress well,do everything wonderful for yourself to get ur life back on track..life goes on and women will always bring these shit to those who love them so let her go,let her be,she is not worth your tears,sadness,pains and sorrows..don't think of the money u have lost on her in the past but plan on the money coming in to be creative with it,and don't rush into any relationship,allow love to find u by been patient,stop saying time is not on ur side,what is most important is for u to find happiness..pick yourself up bro!!

I think could be lack of money that is making your guy act that way,but come to think of it,this is how white people carry on their normal relationship, everything is 50/50 including bills,shopping and all expenses if the both parties are working,thus the women there has great worth in the male folks eye..In our culture what the guy is saying to u about milk,and those stuffs is absurd,but trust me could be because of lack of sex too cos sex connects people more,the relationship starts in most guys eye after sex,that's why those who are not committed to u or love u will discard u after they have had sex with u,but is sex bad?No..
I believe the guy is frustrated with u cos u live with him so block him from every chances of sleeping with another girl yet in your selfishness u have decided to lock up,
"Body no be firewood na"..If it were to be me,I won't be with a girl who is not ready for sex for 3 months talk more of living with her..cos trust me without sex u are like u have nothing to loose so u might end this relationship at any time with the guy,that's our Nigerian female mentality, so all his spending will be a waste of resources, cos most Nigerian ladies have nothing to offer to guys order than sex..if u want a normal relationship then I think sex must be involved to be able to really
Know if u both want to be with each other for real or is it lust, infatuation and all about sex...And if u don't want sex then enjoy been together as roommates u are now and share the responsibility together,u have nothing to complain about...

Neweramify:
So on point but what would you advice?

why are u trying hard to Fixe sth that is already damaged?where there is no trust,there is no love..Not as if u cheated on him, according to u guys u had to give yourself space cos of the distance,so for someone that care for u the other guy should not be an issue here but just because he is looking for an excuse to break up that's why he is bringing up this..if u ever stay with this guy, your self worth will be affected as he will always throw it to your face how u never waited for him even though he also had "an affair" meaning u ain't good enough or disciplined enough.. anyways is your life and your chioce here..

Neweramify:
I wish it's that easy.
Thanks for your advice

it's gonna be easy if u decide to let it be,but hard if u would not give ur mental and physical prowess by agreeing that is not easy..read inspirational books,hang out with friends and family devote your time to your job, your hobbies and interests that way u will be distracted from the hurts,pain and regrets u feel now,but u need to do this for urself in order to be happy and still keep functioning fine cos if u don't do this,the result will be depression, sadness and bitterness and if u still decide to do nothing at all the later will still be the result..
Now ask yourself,"is this dude worth your tears,is he worth these pains u feel,is he worth your years and time that u have wasted because of him"?
You alone know the correct answer..stop wasting your time even though u are 25 and young but now is the right time to find new and fresh love..

U should try and move on cos this guy doesn't love u,he is had enough of u and probably want u out of his life,but u keep trying to make things work between u two cos u love him, please put yourself together and channel all that love to yourself,build yourself up,work on yourself and love yourself with time u will find someone who will love u and deserve your love.. please next time don't waste up to 6months before asking of his plans for u two okay...

This us infatuation or it is lust,u just want to have sex with him..

Please get your self worth back,this guy doesn't even care about your feelings,how can he tell you that a girl came to visit him?hmmm be wise,he keep Ignoring your text and writes u when he feels,calls u when he feels and as a readily available girl,u are always down for him..please don't even meet him at all,don't have sex with him except u wanna get played..This is just a playboy or fuckboy..

You are totally correct cos many ladies fantasy is to be grabbed and taken aggressively like torn clothes and some smacking,infact many ladies fantasize to be raped and in the heat of such forceful copulation most ladies are much more lubricated than normal,most ladies find themselves dripping or soaking wet in the heat of this kind of forceful sex,their mind says no but their body yield totally..I was discussing with a female friend who was raped one time,what she told me shocked me,she said it was the best sex of her life,I don't even know what that means,could mean she had orgasm though,she summarised that her plea was so weak like please don't!! Please..cos she was enjoying the whole thing from start to finish..and she added I could have forced him myself if he stopped,so I think the OP is right.

In that case u have nothing to worry about,sometimes relationship gets to that stage where communications cease and all that,that is normal after being with someone for many years,all u need is to find a way to rekindle that first flame by buying her gifts and taken her out for dinner,or the cinema,do romantic things with her that will make her yarn for more,give her some new treat and keep this constant,there is no way she will keep ignoring u or not call constantly if u do this..Start given her attention too like talking and listening to her every gist and details attentively with contributions and u will watch her transform into given u attention,there is nothing wrong with your relationship bro all u need is to bring back some chemistry and adrenaline into the relationship once more ..

LifeOfTrigga:
Bro she is a virgin and confirmed, what I mean by we don’t get along is Cos I think we owe ourself that years we have been together and also that she doesn’t do like he we started. She is a good girl, got everything a girl needed but she is just loosing it in some ways by not calling or giving attention anymore. But she always let me know it’s me or nobody And that we ain’t ending. I’m just curious

Please what do u mean by u don't really get along?but u do plan the future!!I only see one thing bro,u never chop am,how can you guys be very close,don't u know that sex brings a special bond to relationship,am not asking u to commit furnication but if u had slept with her,u will get her to truly get along well with u,all u forming holy holy,how are u sure she is a virgin?u don check am,as in confirm am wella?what if u Wait after wedding and discover she is not a virgin?this has caused a lot of deaths..'Husband kills wife 4 days after wedding' Be smart..

LifeOfTrigga:
Bro I just need an answer Cos I have a girl have been dating for about 6 years now, and we don’t really get along but we do plan the future Cos we have been together for long. But the love is not like how it’s before!

Tell him you need girl to nack that he should help u make a chioce,and as you guys are checking profiles,bring his girls profile out and act as if you know nothing,don't say u have seen it before,let the guy be the one to make his decision,or you can use another number to Wattsapp him this profile anonymously..just try not to involve yourself,so they will not use u to settle.,u will only be the guy who told him his girl is into runs if u go about it bluntly cos worse case scenario,he will be pissed at you for poking into his business..

Be the man bro,write a card,place it on the sink with gum.."Do not brush your teeth or spit in the kitchen sink rather use the sink in one of our two toilets"
And don't take it slightly anyday she flaunts your order,she must follow this rule everyday..no spitting in kitcken,no loitering with a mouth full paste to the rooms or the kitchen..and never apologize for trying to teach and correct your wife,she should be the one appologizing, for being wrong,play the silent no talking games with her better than she can play until she comes to beg you,she is a woman and she too can't stand the silence,I mean they are weaker than we men,so don't apologize out of pity and keep condoling this shit and trash because she will never get the message if u keep doing this,keep talking until she stops this after all she is like your younger sister,so she can learn from you..

I can only visualize how rude you were to her considering how arrogant you sound up here!!why in God's name would u use 'v' to describe a woman,hmmm!!u have a mum, probably a sister; please women deserve respect bro,u should get schooled on this,correcting someone publickly is wrong cos u only ended up trying to shame her,correcting her could have been calling her aside and gently telling her is like she needed to brush her teeth cos it's bringing some bad smell..

Lightangel65:
Ok today i told a vagina person sitting side of me that she should shut up her mouth was smelling badly and all of a sudden her whole squad sees me as a bad person.

Why do ladies take the truth badly, if you stink top up your hygiene.

Once a cheater,always a cheater,just forget about him and move on with your life but u can never change anyone rather people change on their own accord..He has already cheated and accepted to have done it,u got no reason been in the relationship still...

She lies to you,she ignores your messages,there is a communication gap..she is stingy to you,hmmm she can't even share with u at this hard times, people like her hardly changes but this is not enough for breakup,she loves u and u love her but u need to get a job first, brother money is very important for love to work,oya look at ordinary gas nah,my advice is give her some space,but don't break up with her,just free the girl,let her be the one to be seeking your attention,let her fight to communicate good with u if u are important to her..just get busy and find money anyhow u can..when money talks,bullshit obeys..

U did the wrong thing if you ask me, actually you could have accepted her number since she offered it to u but wait for her to call first or rather treat her number as if it doesn't matter that much,that's what I call calling the shots,she got to be the one seeking you and your attention and not the other way round. On the other hand your friend has a better chance of getting his since he can actually contact her..hehehe anyways since u have been waiting for the girls call,when ur friend get his u can actually get your girls number through your friends girl,can't stop laughing bro...

The funny thing is that if u allow him to do once,he is gonna demand for more and finally he will still discard you las Las when he has had his fill,so does it make sense to give it to him in order to save your job? HEY NO!! cos u will still loose the job u are trying to keep dear,once this kind thing has entered,keep your pride, respect yourself and take a walk..except u are ready to be his sex object and an object of manipulation..

Evil upon evil,u slept with his wife,gossipped about it,as if that was not bad enough,He confronted you instead of pleading for sinning against God and man,you killed him with a knife,now u rendered the useless olosho a widow to continue frolicking abi??This man is so mean and wicked,he deserves death by hanging..

When u love someone genuinely,you can not cheat on them,men lack self control and discipline when they are in a relationship or marriage with someone they feel lust, infatuation or attraction for,hence they cheat,because true love will make you never to cheat,if u ever cheat,then u never loved her simple...

Good advice,I think u should follow the path of peace and apologize to her for using the word truth is bitter okay..

NobleDeSage001:
So your sister finally accepted that she is as culpable as her friend too?
Are you the last born of your family? How come that your sister is mad at you for saying a harmless truth to her face?
This incident reveals the type of personality she is.

Anyways, you can make peace reign if you want. How?
Tender an apologia. An apologia is different from apology. You are tendering an apologia not because you said anything wrong but because you want peace to reign. If you love your sister, win her back. Ask mom to speak to her or any of your siblings that she succumbs to but then maintain your innocence that you never had her in mind when you condemned her friend.

She is bitter because she is in the same boat that carried her friend too.
Do you love her kids?
Do you want your sister and her family to still come close to you?
Fix it now.

But if you can survive without them and you care less, 'bon voyage!'

Forget about her,she is not serious with u bro..save yourself the stress and move on..

Hahahaha what do u expect when u are this nice to a girl,u just met her and u bought her this and that,use sex scatter her head,plus money on top.. congratulations dude!!

Your sister is doing the right thing,cos no matter how loving his mum is,she would assume control of their marriage and hence become an intruder dictating for the man how to run his marriage..From the beginning it was not supposed to be so,who says he can't rent an apartment before he can build his own house,that's a weak excuse..let your sister hold unto her decision,if the guy is man enough he will do the right thing which is moving out from his mother and father's house to live with his wife..

White women age faster cos they are emotionally weaker than black women..age is of the mind and so what plays in your mind is what makes u young or old,sick or healthy..and white women understand what depression means more than black women,they know sadness and loneliness more than the black women inspite of riches..

What u said is the truth,but am sorry to say this but your sister is selfish and one thing about selfish people is that they will never agree to their faults..I think she needs help,so I advice u not to turn it to a fight rather try to make her see reasons why she need to spend more time with her family and give them more love, please don't call her a failure cos no one wants to hear they are failures even if it's true and u know there is always room for change to the better...