₦airaland Forum

Fake. 50 MLS Creed avenue is over 300 dollars so what manner of fakery is this? Even that packaging is fake.

No article written by a Nigerian man is complete if he does not wail about submission and marriage.

No one wants to marry the women and yet it's always men crying about it and writing epistle.

SuperOnyi:




May God give us the wisdom to not take some of the videos we watch on these p*rn sites with titles like F**king a tiny teen school girl too serious; because the way these girls grow so big nowadays, you might end up like this young man.

From the chats, it was clear that he was just trying to catch her young because I would have said his gbola pushed him but he was reminded that she was just 15.

But come to think of it, does this woman really believe her "innocent" daughter didn't have a chat with this guy? This must have been what he felt was a the green light but unfortunately he didn't see the red light clearly.

My brother, beware of these little girls! Sometimes, I have to remind myself I'm over 18 and an adult because one could easily forget this.

Number one. Watch them crawl out of the woodworks.

If you're busy watching teenage p*rn, please narrow it down to yourself, stop making it a 'we' issue.

You watch finish come de give Green light and red light explanation for a minor who explicitly said her age and the man went out of his way to tell her to keep it a secret.

See how you tried to push blame to the child instead of outrightly condemning this wicked act.

One day will be one day for Una,shebi you de forget your age. Catch them young indeed.. Tuehhh

18 year old paying for xes and already using numbing agents.. I feel sorry for you but good luck

@palestianisrael

Since things have descended to physical violence to the extent of having weapons close by, I would suggest one person moves out immediately for both your safety.

It doesn't matter who started what, the main issue is the potential loss of life that could happen in the blink of an eye. You don't have to swallow it or bear it . If someone is beating you, run out of the house and call the police. It is important to leave a paper trail.

People that have killed their partners have similar stories.. One day in the red mist of anger a weapon was used and that's it. No coming back. Failed marriage is better than death.

Google gov.uk domestic abuse, there are lots of resources eg live chats,phone numbers, organisations that offer support to people with this problem.

Would be interesting to know if these fights were happening back in Nigeria because this sort of thing doesn't just spring out of the blues. Someone just doesn't become violent like that.

From what you've written it seems there's a lot of problems in the marriage, not understanding each other and wife feeling emotionally abused or neglected for years, you have even sort of said you may have caused emotional distress and have given up. If she has been emotionally abused for years, perhaps she is snapping and can't take it anymore. It is not safe for both of you to be in the same space.. You trigger her, she responds triggering you to a response and the vicious cycle continues.

Thankfully, there are no children so you both can make a clean break or you choose counselling but from afar to avoid problem.

Separation is not divorce.. It would give both of you time to think through and get the help needed.

Even divorce is better than death..

I would avoid churches and pastors in this sort of situation..

Good luck.

I don't know what the connection is between man of God and a pregnant woman suffering from severe headaches.

Better run to the hospital and make sure her blood pressure is being monitored.

Good luck oga

Appynez:
Ok I understand how this confusing this can be, I have been in a similar situation,I still am as a Matter of facts.
I sort advice from my friends and sisters infact honestly it took me time to digest it, I had been dating my guy for a year plus, 1 day He took me to go see his Family, His older brother and wife, His Mom and younger brother, but before we got there, He took me to a restaurant and told me how He had a son when he just finished secondary school but that He was too young to marry and the girl was older than He was and bla bla bla but He and His Family took full responsibility for the child and He does till now, I felt heartbroken "a Son" not even a girl, God I thought of my own kids future if I eventually marry him,I swear I almost bursted with anger for him lying about it till then but for Love
I finally followed him to see his Family after much plea and His elder brother gave us a lecture telling me He understood my fears and that the Family will always stand by me if I had any difficulties I should let them know
I won't lie I left him for months to clear my head and be sure, but we're back together now because I feel I should not leave a man who loves me as much as I love him just cus of my insecurities
I trust that when we eventually marry and I have my own kids for him, He'll make the right decisions as regards us, I pray for Gods guidance in every challenge I may face in future

This is deceit though and emotional blackmail.
Being a single parent is not a crime , he should have been upfront about it to enable you choose early on in the relationship, if it's what you want.

The main issue is that there was a massive lie by omission. Big red flag. Would he have stayed with you if you did same? That's what should guide you.

He should be proud of his son , no matter the circumstances of his birth..I would not trust a person who has hidden a whole child away.

A new partner should be informed immediately so they also get to know the child and bond especially if the child will live with you. If you feel insecure, it is not the child's fault.. Next thing this child won't be treated well.

See, you are not a bad person if you choose not to further a relationship because the person has a child. It's not everyone that can do it. Be honest with yourself And if you cannot, walk away.
It is better than maltreating the boy later on. Not saying that you would but once you start having double mind and reservations, better to dip.

Lol, will always be a man telling women what's good and beneficial for them.

And the wife sat there watching
Op is tactless and struggles with being assertive so had to resort to being insultive as a way to show he is a man, lol. Then ran to NL for validation from people like him.
Poorly raised people everywhere.You can make a point without being a twa t but here we are.
The marriage is already doomed.
Good luck Oga and Madam

I wish the boy didn't witness this, it will damage and affect his psyche forever. He should have stayed in the car while they talked.

The audacity and gas lighting is off the chain though. How this man walked in and expected her to take it like that because he said so, na ment?

Las las na court and divorce so they rest.

Madam does not want evening newspaper..maybe she now thinks a 40 year old man is not her taste again
Oga Pele oo, make sure she refunds you for the exam and application fees.
Sorry o

Funny that people are forgetting the father of the child. He has 2 hands and legs so should be able to care for his own child since the mother has abandoned her after 7 years of suffering alone.

I thought he would pick up the mantle and care for her with everything in him or is there a special power he needs to bathe, clean, feed and change his child? Why does he expect the OP to take on his responsibility?


The main victim here is the child who has been failed by her father and biological mother. This father moved on, got married and is expecting another child,he carried on like she did not exist.

Are we supposed to empathize with this man that did nothing to support the mother of this child for 7 good years and would have gone on for longer if the mother didn't run off?The mother has a right to have a life too,so it's his turn .

Why should the Op do it? This is how frustration sets in and the child starts getting abused.

My thoughts are with the child, may she find love and care from her parents. Even in this condition, she did nothing to deserve this.

Op,you go ahead and do what's best for you and the baby. It's time for your husband to parent his child. If he is smart, he will find a part time carer or arrange a 50/50 agreement with the child's mother.

The woman has chosen to preserve her sanity and mental health and you people are here calling Amadioha to change her heart

What the woman must have seen and now rejected after over 10 years of marriage must be very strong.

Even church,parents ,friends have begged her and she refused..ask yourself how bad things must have been and how long it festered for.

Op himself described the marriage as loveless,so isn't it selfish to want her to remain in such torture? And why should he also want to stay in a marriage he was unhappy in?Why does he want to punish himself and her?
Now madam wants to free him to pursue the babes that he was sleeping with while married and yet he's not satisfied,he still wants madam to be there as jara

I pray she makes the best decision for herself o jare.

OP,I hope you do better in your next relationship,this is your chance to start afresh. 40 is not too old.

I hope that you and your soon to be ex wife find a way to parent the children peacefully.They're the most important people in this equation.

I wish I can say I feel sorry for you,but I don't shaa.
Pele.

@Op

Problem 1:Is he celibate? Who is he having sex with while waiting for the marriage? All he's doing is attempting to frustrate you out of the house so he can shag his real sex partner freely.

Problem 2: If he's into 50:50 and you're not,why are you there? You don't share the same values around this and it will become a greater problem down the line.There are men who are into a more traditional style of marriage,go for them and leave this one alone.

Problem 3: His irritability and nagging will not change post marriage, infact it will increase.

He is showing you who he is,if you don't like it,keep it moving. You should be grateful that you've been given a sample of what life post marriage with him will look like.

The ball is in your court.

This sounds like there's not a lot of money in this house?
Are you guys rationing food or something?

Before this situation, I bet you both have been having friction.

Sorry your things were thrown out, ask your.brother to settle you so you can go and rent your own place.

Can't even imagine being territorial about kitchen in 2021,when Ngozi Okonjo Iweala is serving goals.

Madam is not even interested in keeping the husband after 25 years??
She effectively said oga ,you can go with your new woman,no problem ,just leave the property. ..

Sidechick is there for money and will run when the well dries up,who wants a broke 61 year old pensioner?

It will end in premium tears as usual

So,basically she is being forced to remain married when she doesn't want to.

She is alleged to be disrespectful and yet the man is insisting on continuing and im seeing comments that are even projecting what she might have done if she got the divorce.

Same set of people would cry 'why did she not divorce' if she does something harsh to this man now just so that she can have this freedom that she went to a court to acquire..

Last I heard,marriage is not by force.

Y'all are funny individuals.

Because they can,because girls are generally not valued except for reproduction,housekeeping and child rearing purposes.

Why should children mature fast? Whats the rush? Where are they running to? What is the advantage of this quick maturity?

How can a child so young know what she wants? By the time she hits her late teen or 20s she's trapped with children and most times a man over 8 times her age and society will frown on her and make her life hell if she wants better.

For the young boys,what do they know? Forced to care for a girl? As they mature,society makes it permissible for them to sow their wild oats and marry more women while not extending same courtesy to the young wife.

The sick thing about it is that these children are impressionable,easily controlled, they know nothing ,their minds easily malleable ,practically walking puppets to serve these men plus the increased possibility of death at childbirth.

How will you not mature fast if at 13 you're having babies,sexing and running a home? What sort of children can you raise? A full blown adult has challenges raising children,what will a child teach a fellow child?

Research has shown that the pruning of brain neural circuits is almost completed at about age 25. This is about rational thinking,decision making,impulsively etc
This studying is still ongoing.

There's news now of some of them killing their spouses, running away etc.If we actually take a census,what would they really say?Would they do same if they were given a choice?

My real question is why are they soo scared about waiting for them to grow up and decide for themselves?

What is it about educating the female child that scares people?

Is Buhari marrying off his 13 year old? Why is he educating his daughters and marrying them off when they're adults?

Why don't you set an example and start with your own daughter not getting an education so she can be more 'mature?

cococandy:
1) moot point because the paternity will be proven. If you really mean what you’ve been saying, then it shouldn’t matter if she only cheats but has no kids. With proof that she has not kids from outside source. I don’t see it should matter going by your ‘logic’.

2) if she’s the provider for the family, then it means her having kids from another source is immaterial. She’s providing right?

Hehehe

Number one is obviously faulty logic ,if there's doubt about paternity, there is DNA testing to the rescue which will remove the doubt and will that then make her infidelity okay?

People should just say that they can't bear the thought of their spouse moaning and writhing under the ministration of someone else but want to do the same without repercussions.

Its human nature to be selfish..its not a crime.

Numbers don't lie.

Shortyy:
You're the one who's assuming it's affecting her life, the woman is probably having the time of her life wherever she is, but here you are thinking sje gives a fvck about your opinion!

The children will grow up and understand why their mom did what she had to do.

If you're not comfortable where you are, you move! That is the law of life. Only a poor and ignorant or weak woman will stay with a cheating man, hoping he'd change or stop.

Let everyone do what makes them happy. Simple.

There are cheating men that are very good fathers and even good husbands.There are cheating women who are good mothers and excellent wives. Why should they separate if they don't want to?
53.3% stat shows there's a lot walking round and doing under gee while maintaining happy homes o.

My own is let her remain not because of fear or lack of money but because it's what she wants to do, if she's arranging sidey as part of the package, so be it. If prayer is her own master key, good for her too.

A lot of people have this arrangement without being totally aware.

RisenPhoenix1:
You keep misrepresenting my statement. There is nothing preventing women from having a career and raising balanced kids; as long as the career comes second and does not take priority over family.

And no. Women who are wholly or majorly financially responsible for the home do not tend to flourish in their married life. Nor do they or their children, do well if they are left as single mothers. Google studies that show the effect of single motherhood on children. You see, like it or not, diverse civilisations all over the world did not independently assign child nurture as the woman's prerogative and financial responsibility and sustenance as the man's; by mere coincidence. It happened because thousands of years of experience showed that it works. Of course, people may have personal opinions; especially when a feminist narrative seeks to push forward a hippy misandrist agenda and 'prove' that gender roles are fake constructs just to 'get even'. However, centuries of experience cannot be discounted on the grounds of mere whimsical desire for creating a new ideal.

I agree that career should not take precedence over the family but in my opinion this should be same for both father and mother.

Lol... Well the coincidence isn't working as men are barely able to shoulder financial responsibilities alone anymore and rightly are seeking a more balanced financial contribution from their spouses. As that happens, the other responsibilities will be shared.

As that happens more and more the balance of power will become more even and no one will expect sole 'use of womb' because of money which can be had by anyone who puts their brain to work.

It's the world we are living in today, not my fault..

Children of single fathers tend to do better than children of single mothers. Maybe a case should be made for the children to be with the man primarily and mother get visitation rights if they split. Ordinarily, the best outcome would be happy parents together but again this is life.


Monogamy itself gets stale for both men and women, sometimes cheating is not about getting even, it's just about exploring other options and sampling pleasures of the flesh,excitement over a new sexual partner is not exclusive to men .Its not that complicated and there's nothing hippy about it.. Been happening for ages and will keep happening.. Give the option of never getting caught and remove religious hell fire threats and see what will happen all round..

The stats are 53.3℅ which is possibly under reporting, I'm assuming lots of the women are happily married, it's statistics not me and no amount of outrage will change that. .

I've just merely answered how women handle cheating men and also encouraged women to work and have their own money in order to have options.

RisenPhoenix1:
You think pregnancies are that easy to prevent? If all those who get pregnant for side dicks are idiots, what does that make Nigerian women, who are second only to Jamaicans in the incidence of paternity fraud?



Not one family. That was an example, there are millions. Take a trip to the US and see how many women are living alone, without even a phone call from their different fathered children.




Women who have careers and raise wonderful children are almost always below their husbands in financial status. And never do they consider their career to be more important than child nurture.

Raising children is a woman's primary duty. She was solely equipped with the tools to do this. For a man, raising children is restricted to training and preparing them for adulthood, not constant nurture. A child should run to his mother when he's hurt, not his father, or his housemaid.

@ women always below husband in financial status for wonderful kids? I beg to differ, but i don't have stats to back up.

But millions of women are cheating and don't have children as a result.Are you saying once they cheat, they get pregnant? Yes it's easy to avoid pregnancy, use condoms or get contraceptives, condoms better to avoid diseases.


According to this website 53.5% of women are cheating..https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.fatherly.com/health-science/do-men-cheat-more-than-women-infidelity-data/amp/

I doubt they're all committing paternity fraud?

@ raising children being a woman's primary duty, that's your opinion, if it works for you cool.
Some people are made for more though.

A child can run to whomever they want to when they get hurt... A child's love isn't dependent on what sex the parent is but the relationship built by that parent. We obviously differ on this and that's okay.

As I mentioned before,a woman can raise children while building and investing in herself. Financial independence is very necessary. This does not mean you must out earn your spouse, sometimes you will, sometimes you won't. Does not change anything does it?
Money in the bank, in investments does not ask who earns more.

The American situation is multifaceted, same as in many European countries..


See this study on quality of life of children working vs non working mothers, the difference is significant, though they did not qualify via type of work but talked about increase in family income, interestingly there was no difference in the relationship between the mothers and the children

https://www.researchgate.net/publication/316463809_The_effect_of_women's_employment_on_children's_quality_of_life

Money is key.. a woman can build a career, make money and raise her kids alongside her husband


This is just my opinion... Shebi the gist is about how women tackle infidelity.. I've said my own.

RisenPhoenix1:
You still don't get my point. Having a profession or a career as a woman is ok as a hobby or a side distraction. Telling her to give it precedence over her family so she can walk out whenever her husband(s) 'messes up' is a recipe for disaster. And no, they are not happy. Their children are wayward, barely even communicate with their mothers and the women are getting old and none is even living in the same house with her current husband, I kid you not. Yes, they have money, go for night parties when they like and are renowned for sleeping around. Is that a woman's recipe for happiness in her advanced middle age?

A woman keeping sexual partners while married is a fraud. With DNA tests soon to become mainstream, they will stop getting away with this thievery. Look at the mess this one made for the entire extended family and herself:

Only an idiot gets pregnant for a side dick. I detest foisting children on an unsuspecting person. Coochie does not have meter, why get pregnant?


You do not know the formula for a woman's happiness in middle age. If this works for them,why not? Again, one family..there are millions.

I beg to differ on career as a hobby.. Some people have aspirations and have managed to raise wonderful children alongside this, I didn't know that it's only women that raise children.

Having money is important for every woman.. levels the playing field.

I forgot to ask why a woman having extra marital affairs just like her husband is a fraud? What's the problem with it if its what she wants? There's no contract for fidelity if your husband is sharing to others..

Paternity fraud is awful because there's condoms to use, those that do this are very foolish, I am happy there are DNA tests..

Having sex doesn't turn up on a DNA test though, so I fail to see the connection between extra marital sex and DNA testing.

*edited*

RisenPhoenix1:
I know a family like that. Four women. Like you, their aged divorced mother (whose husband left her to raise them by herself) has always maintained that women must be financially strong so that they can opt out of their marriage when they feel like; and she raised all her daughters to think this way. Currently the youngest daughter is in her forties and all four daughters are either divorced or on their second or third husbands; if memory serves me correctly. And their scattered children are all over the landscape, and none of them is close to his/her mother. What kind of life is that? Better to remain unmarried.

My point is, if you stress the importance of financial independence and career of a woman over raising her children, so that she can opt out of her marriage when the going gets tough, she will definitely opt out one day, or keep remarrying and opting out. And it will affect her life, her kids, and her happiness.

There are plenty families like that as well that remain happy. There's no one stop formula. What you've described is a family of people who made their own choices based on what they think is best for themselves. I can't knock them for that. They're living a life they choose to live, if they're happy, why not?

Women have had careers from time immemorial and have successfully raised children alongside this.They're not mutually exclusive. Every smart women builds her career and invests in herself while nurturing her family as well.

Financial independence helps to broaden options, people don't necessarily divorce because they're rich, what if the man dies?

As I said, things hit different when you have cash, you're not dependent and you're able to make clearer decisions, not trapped because of finances, but out of choice. When you make your own choices, no matter how hard, you're able to live with them.

Money is a great soother and a door opener..patience does not pay bills , patience is not protection from diseases, submission does not pay for flight tickets to Greece, submission does not provide satisfying sex or an emotional cushion.


No crime in opting out if she is unhappy, isn't it better than pooping in food, jazz or being frustrated?

An unhappy frustrated woman will have an unhappy home and raise insecure unhappy children. Look at all the women pouring hot water and hot oil on others, the ones using iron on step children.. What kind of mothers will those ones be?

No crime in also having a guy that keeps her happy sexually while continuing with the marriage as well if the target is keeping the home together at all costs. Many people are doing these anyway without issues albeit unknowingly and their homes are 'Happy'..

By enjoying the body of another virile man while being submissive and meek at home , smart ones use protection of course to avoid stories that touch. What do you think is responsible for a thriving happy wife that's married to a community preeq?

Some choose to fast and pray, others choose to ignore, some treat infections forever, some turn to lesbianism, some concentrate on the kids.

There's no contract you signed to be faithful to an unfaithful man, you are not bound under any oath to uphold a contract he has breached. You're already managing uninspiring preeq that doesn't even stay in one place and you're expected to chop it forever plus any unexpected craw craw, tuehhh.


Make money so you're bold.Once you have money , your options become bigger and you can objectively view the relationship for what it is. Useful or non useful.. You choose and judge based on your own criteria..Financial independence is key.

Things hit different when there's money in the bank.

Only a fool cries or fights over a cheating man these days..too many fishes to fry.

Those that can be faithful should stick to each other, those that can't should be free for all.

Who is richer? In the end, that's what really counts. .
Poor first born wife and rich last born wife, who do you think will be more respected
Go and make money, then you'll stop looking for seniority.

RIP to the deceased but I'm failing to see the connection to the MD since the man had already moved on, was doing well at work and had a pregnant girlfriend that he was going to marry..

They need to do an autopsy first to find out the cause of death, the MD while very wrong did not kill him. If anything, he should be sacked based on compromising his office by sleeping with subordinates.



May his soul RIP.

Julibet:
How come no one is drawing the line between entitlement and family responsibility?

I work with a former Governor's Sibling in my state and I swear all their immediate family became rich by one Sibling. She so much carried them that all of them are very comfortable now. Even when the Governor entered seat as a Governor, he awards contract to family to help their lives. That's how family ought to be. Like a poster earlier commented, if you you can't turn to your family in times of need, forget it, there's something wrong with your family.

What you've described here is nepotism and corruption. Weh don ma.

OP,
Are your parents not alive? It's their responsibility to take care of you and your needs not your brother's.

You have no rights to his money, are you working for it with him? You already see that he prefers to pray and boost morale instead of parting with his cash.

He is stingy, look into your family tree, there must be that trait in your lineage or perhaps the guy is planning for his future and does not want to carry family responsibility like gala.

I hope his girlfriend runs for her life , see how you guys, parents included already chooked eye to know he bought phone for her and started to maltreat her for the misbehaviour of your own blood brother,instead of dealing with the root of your problem. Disgusting behaviour from the lot of you, and a sign of things to come for her.


Not all siblings are nice or close or spend money.

Supportive family members are a blessing and the exception not the rule.. It would be nice to have so much love and harmony and sing kumbaya but this is real life.. Kill entitlement mentality and known peace.

I have siblings like your brother who hate to spend on others or give money but wear extremely expensive things.. I paid fees for these ones oh and gave them pocket money while in school and still even give cash once in a while.. I know this is how they are, I don't expect anything from them at all and we all have good relationships.


Go and forge your own way, remove eyes from others.

At least this is a good person according to you and one even gives loan,why should you not pay back? It's a loan.

Support must not always be in monetary form, collect the verbal morale booster he can spare and face your life.

.

I hope she gets the help that she needs.

She used the name kemi alabi instead of her real name for the documentary for reasons best known to her.

She was recognised as kemi instead in tweets by the award winner and BBC. Maybe when the awards started coming, she had a rethink but by then it was already too late.

Even in her tweets, she was unable to call out anyone.

I believe the stress from accusations and counter accusations were just too much for her to cope with.

Taking sniper is no joke. I hope she takes a social media brake and chooses the best path for herself going forward.