₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie: Here is the thing, you have been making some pretty ABSOLUTE-ISH statements for a couple of pages now. You have made some claims about Nigerian way being better than Western way yet when it comes to backing your claims, all you do THEN is make suggestions on how it can be better but you provide nothing in the way of solid backing for claims made.

And then I, and millions sit back trying to reconcile what you say with reality of life in the same Nigeria. There seems huge disconnection between what you say and what we know to be the moral reality of life in Nigeria.
I mean how can kids in a society, who were properly trained, end up with a vast portion of them irresponsible adults? Something is wrong, don't you think?

You are a foool for thinking only parental upbringing is the factor that influences morality.

Cultural, social and economic factors also play a big part.

Start understanding complex issues!

Kobojunkie: oh boy!!! The last thing I want to have to deal with on a good vanderful morning such as this is an 'adult' throwing tantrums because his 'reasoning' has been challenged.

Abeg go bother someone else with your logic, if we can call it that at all. . . i get better things to spend my time on.

NEXT!!!

Shut the fck up!

Next time think before you talk!

Kobojunkie: Again, are you sure you are not the mugu here, especially with the utterly stu_pid example for an analogy you have up there??

You are a mugu!

How did your neighbour's case become representative of whether African style of discipline is better?

You are not smart enough to understand analogies.

Foool!

Kobojunkie: um . . . .



I agree that is needed here.

So where you studied (e bi to ti kawe), when you want to compare two systems/cultures they taught your daft arse to pick singular cases for comparison or to compare aggregates?

If you want to compare the standard of living of US and Nigeria, you will say I know someone that makes $30K in New York but Dangote makes $100m per year in Nigeria so US can not be superior? Or you will look at it holistically?

It is Saga you are debating like a mugu with?

Kobojunkie: um . . . .



I agree that is needed here.

Um kini?

Answer my question.

You think you can talk like an ediot when you talk to Saga?

Kobojunkie: hmm .. . . so what you are saying is that even with spanking, we cannot measure % of success on a case by case basis . . . kind of like with OTHER approaches to raising kids?? So, to consider the success of spanking, we need to consider a good sample of the Nigerian society then where the level of moral decadence remains pretty high?? OMGOsh!!

Show me where I said that.

Maybe this will turn into a lecture on comprehension.

Show me.

I wait.

Kobojunkie: OH! so now it matters what proportion of kids do that and not the fact that his parents, who were pastors did all of what you suggest here should be it when it comes to raising a kid properly?

um . . kids in the west do worse? Really? And what is your evidence for this? Let me guess. . . you post a story of one case in the news from the west and pretend that we can ignore the fact that much of the same/similarly atrocities committed in Nigeria go unreported?

What a stewpid statement.

Show me one approach to human interaction that gives 100% benefits 100% of the time.

So if one finds a case where it does not work, that means it is inappropriate?

I wait.

Go and watch TV programmes about their wayward kids and then come and tell me how many families have that in Africa.

I wait.

ronkebp: If "not training" your children well is being modern...then Mo-gba be!!! i prefer to remain funkless, i prefer to remain in the cave.... ...God will not allow me to have a child that will slap his father all in the name of modernity, Or a child i will be afraid to scold.hmmmmm!!!

Then you don't love you child!

You are backwards!

This is the 21st century!

Your child should be everything!

Kobojunkie: Tell that to out next door neighbor back in Ikorodu whose child ended up stealing most all the money they had, and ran away to Cotonou right after we graduated from secondary school. . . . ****hisses****

Cut the crap!

No 1, what proportion of kids do that?

No 2, do kids in the west not do worse?

Cut the BS when you are debating with Saga Saga!

Kobojunkie: um . . . please stop!

If your powers in your eyes were that intense, wouldn't that then mean you wouldn't even need to spank at all? Your statements almost make it seem as if there has been discovered a one-trick solution to child raising.

The problem is there is no evidence to even show that spanking helps ensure society a better place really. It could be argued that well over 90% of kids in Nigeria were spanked at one time or another yet that places remains the jungle it is and all those kids grow up into the adults that inhabit that society today. So what does that tell you? That spanking is a solve all?

I am not against spanking . .. I got my share as a kid and I deserved 90% of it but suggesting spanking is a cure-all for what ails kids is ridiculous.

There is solid evidence spanking makes us respect our parents and elders in general.

ronkebp: You gat to be kidding me!!!! one look from me, will stop him from screaming.....it is obvious the boys parents did not train him well, if a 7 year old boy can be misbehaving to this extent, i wonder what he will do when he turns 14? be beating and exchanging blows with his dad for sure!

You are a not modern enough. You are not progressive. You are not funky. O funky to! (You are not funky enough)

You are condemning a poor, defenseless, little boy. You should be sent back to your jungle in Africa so you can live on trees.

This is progress and modernity. Oyinbo don say am, make we copy dem!

Our presidential fucktadinho comes up with half-measure even on the rare occassions when he actually acts on anything.

Retardeen Jonathan, what we needed was not only an overhaul. A smart person would have also figured that in such a corrupt country, you should probe how the £8m pounds budgeted for the Olympics was spent.

How did the arsehole crook, Admiral Festus Porbeni, that already looked this country silly under the military era end up being sponsored as one of the delegates to the Olympics to accompany one canoe sportsman that is UK-based anyway? A single sportsman that had 3 people accompanying from Nigeria when he is not even Nigeria-based and has never lived in Nigeria or done his sport in Nigeria nor ever needed these people to achieve.

https://www.nairaland.com/1003885/london-2012-meet-team-nigeria

The money spent on such crooks would have been better spent on training facilities.

But Retardeen would sweep this under the carpet, change the brigade and the new brigade will come in to loot their own since they know there is never any consequence for looting. Even if there was, when you get out of jail, Retardeen will be one of the ones to come and join you in church to give glory to God.

This is the rubbish their schools have turned to:

"The deputy headmaster sat down with the boy on the floor of his office and repeatedly told him to calm down as he shouted and screamed in “an incandescent rage”."

Like if these teachers' time cannot be better utilised.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]I'm on mobile, so quoting you is going to be a bit difficult.

Just because he's got 40 years experience doesn't make him "whiter-than-snow". For all you know, he may have been getting away with such acts because no-one reported him.[/quote]I never said because of the 40 years he is whiter than snow. I am actually a very intelligent human being hence too smart to say such, secondly I don't know him. But the news report specifically said he has had an exemplary record and the child has a nuisance record.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Re sending kids to special needs school: Yes and No. In an ideal situation, yes that would be good. Unfortunately, the reality is different as you'll find that there have been cuts in government findings for schools, more so with the conservative govt.[/quote]You are assuming there. I am pretty sure that austerity cuts does not imply a cut in the number of special needs school or the number of places available in them.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]What you'll find instead in are guises employed & encouraged by the govt in the form of SENCO in most state schools. They'll also tell you that unless the child is severely disabled, such a child is encouraged to interact with pupils in mainstream schools. "Statementing" was one form of help available to such kids but that is more or less nearly a thing of the past, as it incurs additional financial burden on over stretched councils. I know this isn't ideal, but that's the way it is.[/quote]Don't know what you are talking about here.

I no get pikin!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]As per your last paragraph, you obviously were joking. Otherwise you he'll be locked up with the key thrown away - and not before he's blacklisted in his profession, and put on the register for child abusers.[/quote]Well that will be the case in a country that is going through moral and disciplinary meltdown and which keeps on discussing moronically how to reverse the trend with more useless, hopeless and expensive funkadelic solutions.

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/uk_politics/8610410.stm
www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-14524834

In the professional world I operate in, there is what is called historical comparison, benchmarking and imitation.

If you want to know how to do something, look at countries that do it well and see how your can copy and improve their style.

They should go to countries where kids do not dare slap their teachers and see how they do it. They should also look at how they were able to do it before, what did they change that led to the downhill outcomes in their society.

It is not rocket science.

But 'No' politics will not allow them to apply sense. There is political capital in saying "anything for the kids", "smacking kids is abuse".

You end up with a society where kids have rights but no responsibilities.

[quote author=Efemena_xy]There are other ways to instill discipline in a child other than outright slapping him on the face. I send my kids to school to get an education, and not get beaten up by a head who obviously has control issues.

For all you know, that child may have a medical issue or a Special Needs child on the autistic spectrum, ADH, etc.

Don't get me wrong, I'm a strong advocated for discipline but in this case, I think the head was wrong. How much force did he as an adult use on the seven year old child? How much is enough?[/quote]There might be other ways but spanking them should be one of the ways when it gets to a certain level.

You send your child to school to get an education? Then let him get it. He should not go there to not get it and also stop other kids, sent by parents like you for education, from getting one as well.

The head does not have control issues, he has been doing exemplary for over 40 years without a problem.

The child is the one that has discipline issues, he has been behaving like brat for the shorter 7 years he has been on this Earth and causing problems.

If you were doing your job well at home, it will be unlikely your child would need any beating in school.

If your child has special needs, then send him to special needs school. He should not go to a normal school and give disruptive special needs behaviours. Let his parents go and apply for special needs on his behalf and spare the kids he keeps hitting.

In this case, the head was right. He should have beat the shyt out him. Useless child! In my world, we would burn his buttocks.

chic2pimp: No mind Saga jare

Alaye, o ye ko sor fun won o.

https://www.nairaland.com/1017330/im-not-sure-need-boyfriend/4#11827900

To be frank, this is quite a problem for guys.

There are a lot of mumu guys out there that I have been trying to lecture on this.

NEVER (ABSOLUTELY NEVER) chase a chic you want to date.

I repeat, ABSOLUTELY NEVER!

I DON'T CHASE CHICS: https://www.nairaland.com/403381/why-nigerian-man-prefer-women/13#6883674

I am not saying you should not do things that will make a girl know you like her, but NEVER do that "thrill of the chase rubbish" where a girl tells you "No" and then you keep trying to woo. If they are not giving you the right signals, MOVE ON! Give her the 'fck off' cold shoulder.

Only chase chics when you just wanna have some glorious fuuuuuun. Not if you want to date.

Otherwise you will end up with a woman that loves you for the way you love her. Not loves you based on being attracted to you for your personality and looks.

That "love him for the way he loves me" is the foundation of A LOT of marriages today and part of why it fails. When the man stops doing the wooing things that makes her love him, which is inevitable as such things are unsustainable in the long run, she gets bored and bitter.

Marry a woman that loves you, not a woman that loves the way you love her.

There are a lot of women like the OP who do the latter. That is not her problem, that is yours. She is only being natural.

Here is another example of the difference in values between the West and Africa:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/law-and-order/9477318/Deputy-head-cleared-of-slapping-uncontrollable-seven-year-old-after-five-month-legal-battle.html

That is an example of the logic that is part of the reasons why Western kids do not respect their elders.

This man must have gone through hell thinking about if he would lose his means of livelihood and go to jail because he had to deal with a useless child.

He was taken to court for allegedly slapping the child. If it was the worthless child that slapped him, it would not have been treated as such a serious case.

How would a kid not grow up lacking respect for adults if brought up with this philosophy?

Be a student in Nigeria and dare slap your teacher and see what happens.

Worse still, be my child and dare slap your teacher for trying to control you in class.

semid4lyfe: In the sports section, Sagamite insults Nairalanders for supporting & celebrating Nigerian "underage" football teams.

He baits other users so he can insult them and derails threads for pages.

He's intelligent and I like having him around but going by Seun's definition, SAGAMITE IS A TROLL.

Nah! I don't fit as a troll under that definition.

- I don't post off-topic. Maybe except when I am having banter and/or doing my job (ashaworism) which people enjoy.
- When I insult people, I have a reason which is obvious to anyone with a brain. I don't insult people for the sake of insulting. I have even dared people that challenge this to pick out a single case, in my thousands of posts selflessly educating cretins, where they (the challengers) feel the person did not deserve it. They could not.
- Posting satellite pictures? Am I becomerich? I post relevant pictures of juicy, voluptuous, shaggable women and I am sure all you men enjoy it.
- I definitely make the forum pleasant for a lot of people.

This is a result of having parents like tpia that accuse children of being winches!

[quote author=Efemena_xy]Damn!

Sagamite, I forsee you being a multi-millionaire in the next life. We must get married by-fire-by-force!

Forget that pre-nup thingy jor [/quote]Your babalawo no strong reach that, you go sign.

This John Cleese never saw this advert!

Claus: Man! I read that Daily Mail article about John Cleese's divorce. I am shaking with rage on his behalf.

His ex-wife went from living in a council flat to having £8m assets + income of £600k a year just by marrying and divorcing him even though there were no kids. It's painful sha!

She can now leave a bigger inheritance to her kids from previous relationships than he can leave to his own kids.

Well it's a combination of a very naive man, VERY FOOLISH laws, and a woman whose greed knows no bounds!

Abeg, keep quiet my friend!

You are one of those that don't understand the contribution of a wife in a relationship. Her contribution to the Union.

The courts have looked at the evidence and have concluded her cooking, cleaning, pillow talk, spending on shopping spree is worth more than his comedic ability, who are you to argue?

It must be worth £8m because he would not have continued being funny if he did not meet her. She made him.

You have to appreciate the her contribution to the union.

It all makes sense!

kandiikane: Sagamite, you have loss weight oo.

Nairaland stressing you out?

Nah! It is sexercise!

debosky: ^^ Bros have you factored inflation, public sector job losses, Eurozone crises etc. into those your figures?

Job losses. That is zero income, you are in trouble.