₦airaland Forum

Well not to mention that hall you call a skull. SAGA the writing is on the wall as you decide to get a brain donor.

Now let me curb your enthusiasm. Your BBBBBBLLLLLAAAAACKKKKKK FFFFFAAAAATTTTTT ARSE still remains black anywhere in the world. In the UK you are perhaps not termed AA but even worse a charity case and they are being subtle and diplomatic about it. They dont need you period, they just know they owe it to the black race. They just have to take in blacks it simply makes them look good, you are not doing them any favour by being there and not being labelled AA token. Deny it all you want but your BBBBBLLLAAAACK will follow you wherever you go harvard/oxford degree or not.

Everytime you pass by they cant elp but feel sorry for you because they know you cant go back home. This is charity at its best.

Oh you said something about Dr Beetroot. Goodgle her qualifications and then google Profesor Mokgokong then you'll know what this institution (MEDUNSA) is made of.

Okay @SAGA, moving along. You talk about change management as if it’s a strategy that SA doesn’t seem to understand, now let me open your eyes one more time to the transformation strategy that SA adopted in addressingsing issues of shortage of skills in the country I hope you learn from it and take it back to Nigeria. This strategy is enforced through the skills development act of 98 if not mistaken.

SA learned a lot from the mistakes which your governments used by sending people to international varsities aand never to return home. Your governments were left on the bleeding edge of technology as they invested in people who left for good only to end up on blogs like these bragging about their qualifications than to go back home and make something useful of themselves. You and I know that we don’t have to look far for such people.

If anyone was to calculate the return on this investment sure we’ll all agree that no developing country should adopt it if it really doesn’t mind living with the risk of the skills exodus. Now through the skills development act SA government ensures that each company per industry creates budget for the development of staff. That is making sure that employees have access to funds to get the education they need. Now each company pays 1% of its total annual payroll to the government to pledge commitment for the upliftment of skill in each sector. It also makes sure that these companies submit training plans and implentation report in order to prove that the people have been trained. The companies in return get taxed less for this participation. The strategy is working like a charm because the target group is already employed and once they get the qualification it goes back to the workplace immediately.
People to be trained are made to sign contracts that they will remain with the company for whatever period in order for the company to utilize the persons skill in return and to retain them.

There is also another level of targeted labour that is being developed to close the gaps in skills shortages and it’s the students. This group is captured from matric level and they are offered bursaries in order to obtain qualifications in the discipline required by the company and related industry at large. Likewise they are made to sign contracts in order to work for the funding company as soon as they qualify. While still studying they are attached to mentors in the funding organization and are made to do vocational/internships during school holidays. By the time this person completes their degree they know much about the organization and the basics to be productive immediately.
Now there’s a huge competition among organizations in that they end up offering these guys huge salaries in order to keep them interested and not to lose them to competition.

This strategy is not practiced by one or two organizations I said all organizations but only those with more than 50 people in their employ. I think its stated in the skills act. Now all these people that we are producing range from engineers, Bankers, Economists, Lawyers, Architectures, Scientists, Doctors you name them and we are talking both women and men alike. Every industry is doing its part.
It would seem you are not sure as to why you are in the so called UK. Ask your government they’ll let you in on it.
Now if you believe that our government made of the Julius Malema’s that you don’t have respect for is crazy enough to train people on its finances just so they can lodge in foreign countries and spend time on this blog to feel good about Harvard/oxford degrees you’ve got to be joking and I am not laughing you might as well do that part.
Our people are much needed here and they know it. Change management is good if it brings solutions to problems in your immediate environment. If its meant to benefit somebody else then you have a problem.

In fact I cant wait until you come to SA you'll wish to withdraw some of your words.

In fact I am glad I have Malema who spends time making noise about the things that go on in parliament when I am busy doing what I am suppose to be doing. It’s his job let him carry on with the noise it serves my government good because they know that somebody is always watching and is not afraid to speak. So what have you done for your government lately? Again when are you coming back home to make yourself useful

Sagamite:

SA Lady link=topic=403381.msg6899582#msg6899582 date=1286526023:
So @SAGAMITE you are a guy? Been thinking you are a girl. Could you stop biatching like a girl. I dont expect you to come back again and biatch some more about this comment be a guy boet.

, and you are going to stop calling me sweetie I insist.

I should get into the habit of checking profiles, bad lady bad.
[quote author=SA Lady link=topic=403381.msg6899582#msg6899582 date=1286526023]So @SAGAMITE you are a guy? Been thinking you are a girl. Could you stop biatching like a girl. I dont expect you to come back again and biatch some more about this comment be a guy boet.

, and you are going to stop calling me sweetie I insist.

I should get into the habit of checking profiles, bad lady bad.

iversities than Cape Town and don't speak English (like France and China) still flock to the top Unis in UK and USA. Some UK students are even abandoning UK to study in US.

The proportion is reflected in the top companies and careers as well. Only that there are a significant number of white SAcans.

So my point which you are backing up by error is that, despite the superior environment that SA provides, we are still not seeing the blacks yet benefitting for it.

I don't balme you for arguing about this because your view is still myopic since apartheid only ended in the early 90s. This myopia might lead you to be impressed with the "progress" you think you have had since 1994. Who can blame you? Your basis of comparison is what was extant pre-apartheid to what is extant now.

Sweetie [I am assuming "you" don't mind? ], believe me, with what is available in SA, SAcans should be outshining Nigerians and every other African in world stage. And they are not. They might in the future when they overcome the disadvantage.

My post about about how I just realised that you are a guy was meant to talk to you on a llighter side of life, cos i just realised how silly i've been thinking you are a girl, but guess what your PMS got in the way. Yes you are the emotional one in this whole convo.[/quote]

@SAGA I was willing to give you any respect I have but you are fast becoming a bane you've notced it up from a juvenile. I asked you a questions which you managed to swiftly drift from only to lutch on the BEE issue. As soon as I indicated how BEE finds its bearings in AA you quickly told us about how a great model it is, since you were quickly reminded how your black arse is sitting in an AA position.

You told us how you have NEVER and I repeat NEVER seen any black SA people in any university or blue chip companies. Only to quickly come back here and tell us you never said they dont have that kind of qualification soon after my response to you with the examples I used and their preferences. When I said they dont want to work outside the country you conveniently took it literal even after I had told you that their preference is SA. We know that you guys mainly go overseas because you have so much to run away from. What about all those people who leave their first world countrie to work in SA? There is this thing called adventure and preference you  know that right? Who told you that we do not have blue chip companies here? As far as my memory serves me well BP, TOYOTA MOTORS and Mobil if still in the top 5 of the furtune 500 are here in SA. Whats great about these companies is that whatever strategies and standard are being employed in their mother countries we are expected to be on par and maybe even more dynamic because our challenges are far different.  

You made it clear that it is through BEE that our men became executes. BEE states it very clear that any person that is being place in a BEE  position it should be proven beyond reasonable doubt that if he doesnt have the qualification he therfore needs to prove ability to aquire any. This goes hand in hand with aptitude testing. We have been using assessment centres for this exercise. Aptitude assessment is a standard practice in our recruitment processes. I should ask you if in your little mind that you actually want to tell us that SA has never had black middle class men that worked in blue chip companies before BEE with any qualification even? According to you it only started to happen with the intro of BEE. Black SA has been working in these companies for all ages but could not participate in decision making positions simply because they were barred from it because of their colour. Whites worked their brains for slaves with no career growth prospects. Funny thing is that these black men had to train young white men who just joined the company only for the young white lad to be his senior after that.

Today colour is no more an issue and the powers that be used an excuse of experince since a lot of young black people were producing the qualifications which they thought we could not achieve. Rememebr these people were not expected to let go that easy anyway and understandably so. They labelled BEE reverse apartheid which is still a battle today. Why must you be so raw, do you really want to believe that our universities have been attended by whites only. Well you need to see white SA and you'll get a shock of your life. The new government has exposed so many of their weaknesses its sad because they've got nowhere to hide now. They've been occupying fat positions with no suitable qualifications and not to mentions the nepotisim they've been practising.

You also talked about doctors coming to SA.Well FYI these guys slave away in govt hospitals that the  SA doctors refuse to work in and that the chilling truth. MEDUNSA is a predominently black varsity that produces tons and tons of doctors year after year decade after decade. They also have a good exchage programme with the US. Do you know that doctors outside SA have to be tested first before they can practice in SA. We produce engineers, lawyers and economists like hot cakes. By the way our lawyers work in UK easily because of our similar legal framework and policies.

I work for a regulatory authority that receives SADC delegation ever so often to be trained here in our authority. Why becouse the SADC regions dont have this kind of an authority and have to learn from us in order to get thiers off the ground. Let me tell you this people who work here are lawyers and economists only  and ninimum requirement into a junior analyst position is either a completed LLB with completed articles as well as an honors degree in Economics. We are a staff complement of 245 with 195 of the staff memebrs in core divisions doing the technical work. Minumum requirement to move into a Senior analyst postiton is a Masters degree and omajority black people. In fact I just need to look in our telephone list to count the whites we have here.i ca ncount them with my fingers only.

Your objectivity is failing you in as far as the points I am puttin gacross to you are concerned. Maybe I should end this debate by saying yes you are faaaar better than SA men since you need it so much. Youre woodhead is wearing me off I cant repeat the same thing over and over you cant be this thick honestly. Again when are you going back to Nigeria to plough back? I am askin gyou this for the third time I am sure.

So @SAGAMITE you are a guy? Been thinking you are a girl. Could you stop biatching like a girl. I dont expect you to come back again and biatch some more about this comment be a guy boet.

, and you are going to stop calling me sweetie I insist.

I should get into the habit of checking profiles, bad lady bad.

Sagamite:
Please cut the lecture crap.

My point is that black SA people are educationally disadvantage due to apartheid. That FACT stands. You get me?

There is nothing in that assertion or anything that I have put forth that suggest I said BEE was wrong. So your emo-lecture has no relevance to me. 

If you really want to know my opinion of BEE, I am in support of it but with a modulation factor. BEE should be based on target setting, not a permanency. It should be practiced over ideally a period of 20 years, most likely no more than 30 years (or at least drastically reduced by then) if a society really wants to (1) progress by using best talent based on merit and (2) be equitable to all. It should be reviewed every 5 years from day of introduction to understand if there is need to speed it up or adjust targets.

Another silly conclusion is the part that you came to the conclusion I said black SA men in top careers do not exist? Fk me triple times lawd!!! What I alluded to was that they are rare and definitely not on par with their white SA counterparts and other foreigners like Nigeria, Ghana etc who DO HAVE first starter educational advantage over black SA men and women.

Whooo! Amsorry, did that hit a nerve. Calm down. Don't get emotional about that fact. As Beenie Man said: sim sim simma, who got the keys to my bimmer who am i, the girls dem sugar . . . (Sorry, I digress, got into my dancehall shitzo). My saying that does not imply I am suggesting (as your emo-analysis would soon accuse) that I think Nigerian men are more intelligent than SA men. Nah!!! It is just unfortunate luck of denial and oppression. Take a cup off tea and cool temper.

And yes, SAcans might have studied abroad, but my point to you is that it is quite rare to see them doing that study in the most presitigious institutions like the way you see Nigerians, Ghanians and white SAcans. Especially when put in context of one of every thousandth of population.

I repeat, before you get too emotional again, that is not because they are not intelligent. It is because the educational culture curve that has been harnessed to maturity by the others is still in a growth phase with black SAcans. They are just unfortunate due to their history and maybe in future that will change when theirs reach maturity, but for now, that is a FACT!

All the stories you put above, Nigerians have done multiple times, moreso, to greater effect or magnitude abroad. And this is coming from one of Nigeria's strongest critics. I am not one of those that do "patriotism". I keep it real.

And in regards to this point:

It appears you might have had some few discussions with some dumb Nigerian/foreign men and for some reason you have set up a defense mechanism and conjectural throwing technique as evident in you accusations against me or misintepretation of my position/argument.

Well, well, sweetie (can I call you that? [Batters eyelashes]), take note of my username. Let it be clear to you henceforth, when I debate, when I talk, when I look, when I even shyt, it is intellectual. So please do not be throwing or expecting moronic arguments from me. Take note of that name on NL: Sagamite.

Your intelligent self has got a way with selective listening. I am not sure about being emotional but just merely stating the FACTS which I thought it was allowed since you had your own attempt. Well allow me to congradulate you on your sudden discovery of your support for BEE did you just get a tap on your shoulder re your BEE status where you work. Its getting harder and harder for me to hammer it through you that SA are not interested in getting out o fthe country. How else can I get it through you that SA people are not interested in working, studying and living in outside their country. Its peaceful here we have competitive institutions and an economy to apply all our skills right here. We are not running away from anything.

Well Well Well I must shake your hand you make an exceptional spin doctor it got me laughing I forgot to fetch my cup of tea. This f*u*c*k me 3 times was utterly juvenile girl please lose it. I mean it doesnt make you seem any more intelligent. But then again I'll pass I like to keep it clean.

There you go again eluding that the Nigerian guys I talk to here in SA are silly. Well I mingle with Nigerians from all walks of life as we have them all over SA.

By the way half of Nigeria is here in SA its one hell of a stampede here. I would suggest that these are the people you can brag to about your living in the UK. 

Well call me sweetie anytime I realize you need it to feel good about yourself. When are you coming back to Nigeria anyway it should be nice there no problems with BEE i am sure.

Are you any calmer?

Sagamite:
I really don't know why you are asking me the question bolded.

It has no relevance and baring to my previous statements.

Sorry sweetie, but my statement still stands.

There might be vast opportunities in abundance for black men in SA due the Black Economic Empowerment (BEE) policy, the educational damage due to apartheid legacy still remains.

Without the BEE, black SA men would not be able to compete and this is reflective in the global environment.

I have worked with, under and seen a lot of SA men in top flight careers in the UK. They are very sharp and intelligent. Unfortunately the are all, without exception, white.

Black SA men due to educational outcome of apartheid can not compete in the global environment. I don't see, have NEVER seen them in top careers in the UK. I never even met any in university (there was a Namibian girl though) or know of any attending the top Unis in UK. There are several Nigerians and Ghanians that I know in top careers and attended top unis.

Even the Mckinsey, Goldman Sachs, Blue chips and other top firms with offices in SA have these offices disproportionately populated by white SAcans, Nigerians and other blacks than with black SA men. These are firms that do not have to necessarily respect BEE so they only select people based on aptitude and educational qualifications.

There are also volumes of Nigerian doctors in SA.

So black SA men may be holding executive positions due to BEE in SA but they really cannot compete in a open market that does not practice BEE (hence globally) due to apartheid legacy that have left them educationally disadvantaged. Hopefully in a few years that would change.

I wont address you as sweetie but I'ld rather address you as Sagamite as you've introduced yourself on this blog. Should I take it that you've only heared of BEE in SA only. BEE comes from Affirmative Action which is standards labour practice in any country that has experienced issues of discrimination as a code of best practice. It didnt even start in SA. I wonder if your comment is saying black SA citizens are not deserving of this and I may havte to ask you if the fact that we have it ended your celebration of our oppression along with the white race  in 1994.

We had issues to aadress that date back as far back as the 17th centuary. Theyve been curving the system since 1948.  Did you expect the democratic goverment to reverse it in 16 years?? We've got a lot of work to do and this makes me glad to mention because it says we are not out of touch with our reality and the demands of the task at hand. Which is why its also good for us to keep it humble and not call ourselves the giant of Africa we wouldnt want to shock the visitors by painting a lie. Fools paradise is never a safe place to dwell in.

I am totally unsure as to why did you get out of your way to mention how you have worked in the UK when my argument was clearly based on the SA scenario and how it may compare to Nigeria today. It is also unfortunate that you actually expected the SA people who got international qualification to come and work for the same company you worked for and get out of their way to come and introduce themselves to you. It is also shocking that you make an ignorant assumption that by mere fact that you dont know them therefore they are bound to not exist. Its a dangerous assumption.

I am also not sure as to why are you such a hard nut to crack because I have already told you that South Affricans prefer to remain at home than to lodge in oth er parts of the world. I've got two female friends who studied agriculture in germany and as soon as they finished thiier studies they wnated to come back home. Both of them left very meaningful relationships and sacrificed an opportunity to start famalies there and then.

I worked with a girl from barbados that studied in the USA and she is now living in SA with her SA man whom she met at varsity in the US ask Donna today if she ever thinks of going back home she will laugh at you. The circle of people I know who happen to be decendants of leaders of the struggle a large population of them studied overseas. A friend by association left SA to work in the US after completing his IT degree this was his first ever job. A friend of mine just moved to New Zealand last year to work there and she now studied there.  Another friend has made a team member of the eskom delegation that has been appointed to open an office in London. They didnt have to rely on any one in th eUK to assist them on this mission. Mfundi Vundla the TV producer of generations a local drama series studied overseas and came back home with his american wife to stay here for ever, he revolutionized black TV entertainment upon his return. They all come back home to plough back

I hate how you've reduced me to name dropping, but I had to to make my point I feel really horrible about it.

Fortunately for us studying overseas is not so much a big deal as we have varsities that are recognized world wide. Oh wait at this point I know you want to say its because of a white man that i have internationally recognised varsities and I have no claim in saying that the money I pay for I earned by my own means. I prolly owe it all to the white man that I am young gifted and black.

Well then I'll have to say to you this is the reason why he oppressed me in the first place. My only sin was to  be young gifted and black.

If you feel I have made any omission in my reply please highlight and I'll be glad to get back at you just got tired of talking to you. Take care

chic2pimp:
Quadruple citizenship? But why stop there? Surely adding USA, FRANCE,AUSTRALIA AND JAPAN to that list would give it the full effect you desire.

I wont blame you its expected of a little mind. Maybe if you took a tutorial on the history of the ANC and its underground movement you wouldnt have came back to me with such a naive and ignorant response. A little knowledge is a dangerous thing. rather ask how did that happen than a desparate demonstration of sarcasim it only takes away from you, take an opportunity to learn and know more. But then again you may have to forgive me for taking the liberty into thinking there's things you dont know you probably know it all.

oyinda.:
^
SA Lady,

Does this have to do with the fact that SA is multiracial?  ie  i would think that a black SA man who is not satisfied with SA women's attitude have no need to go outside of the country when there are white SA women around.
because I definitely don't buy into the whole SA men worship us and put up with us 100% idea.
Most people who migrate to SA tend to be men (looking for jobs) anyways. This is probably the only thing that gives the SA women a comparative advantage in terms of mating options.

Have you been to SA? maybe this is the question i should ask in order for me to understand if I am dealing with your formed perceptions or somebody with some practical insight of SA. Also let us not be naive to the fact that culture plays  a huge role in as far as race and geography are concerned. Whites in SA are a different breed from whites anywhere else in the world. Same as a black girl in SA i am different from any black girl anywhere in the world. Yes!!! By all means SA is vastly multiracial but most black SA Men will have to be hit by a truck before they can marry outside thier race. Will they date any other races? YES! by all means, but its usually for sake of adventure. They dont do this because they are racist or anything its all in cultural differences e.g customs many of us still practice and white chick will want to lecture you on animal cruelty when you want to have a slaughter no dont do that to a black man that takes his culture seriously its a losing battle, there's some places that a black man will want to go to and party at and white chick would not want to go there since she cant get over how white she is, black man cant go a day without taste of some soul food, white chick wants to prepare chicken and salad, no no no. Black man has township slang and humour that he wont let go of even if you moved him to England, its just in how he rolls and he wants to let this free spirit out every now and then and he wants you to get with the programme, well white chick appreciates dry humour no cant work. He wants you to look HOT all the time and yet you must understand the concept of less is more just dont over do it, white chiks are always lost in this translation we still cant figure out why?

Oh! I must make yo uaware that black people dont always like speaking english all the time. They speak it a lot but just as a compromise language. They'd rather you teach them ibo, hausa and the rest. We stil have those trapped in their colonial minds stilss wanting to believe that english prefeciency is an expression of level intellect and sophistication. Being black is more fashionable these days than ever before.

You talk about the migration of a black man, well let me tell you about the migration of the whites post apartheid MOST of them have since returned home and have agreed that there is no place like home. Black people go there with hearsay of greener pastures outside the country, but unfortunately most of them will tell you about how the promised land was dissapointing. They cant afford the same type of lifestyle they use to enjoy here at home. There's no denying tha they've enjoyed far better qualty of life and by that we are talking low levels of crime, well kept cities and access to government hospitals without waiting long ques. Most whites threatened to leave this country since 1992, but guess what? they are still crowding us, as to when are they leaving it still remains an enigma.

Do you know that all the freedom fighters who left SA and took exile to other countries returned home and I mean every single one of them. They've got citizenship in thier countries of exile but they will not settle there for anything. That circle of people have got plenty opportunities for themselves outside SA but they would rather eat pap and vleis in the dusty streets of the townships than to move country.

Dont get me wrong SA is no paradise we have our problems. There's some black girls and boys who still dont know what they came on this earth for. The government still lets them down, but as them to move to any other country for a better future they'd tell you I would rather die or go on stike until this government hears my concerns, Yes did you know that we can do that?? we dont like a government we oust it ask the national party and Thabo Mbeki.

I believe I've said enough on this reply, I also saw your other response to me which I will come back to you about soon.

Hey when you come to SA I'll hook you up with my black brother and you tell me you thoughts, they are full of CRAP but you'll have to keep up.

johndoe200:
I ran into an acquaintance I hadn't seen for some years and we got talking. I asked him if he is married now and he said no. When I asked why
he said that he can not "trust anything that bleeds for 5 days and doesn't die". He maintains that this is fundamentally unnatural.

When I thought about what he said, I saw his point. Anything that bleeds for 5 days should normally die of blood loss.

Guys, what do you think?

@PO VOETSEK!!!!

@Poster I am very sorry. I hope you find healing sooner than later. Your story is very touching to be honest. Keep praying sometimes its the only thing we have. You are still young and have an advantage of time on your side, you can still build yourself and find the love you want again. Its hard to forget the first but hey some people come for a season not a lifetime and there's no way of knowing until we reach the end with them.

I wish you true love, joy and prosperity.

@SAGA I couldnt pick up you response where you give people a tutorial about South African women, apartheid and their men I mean what an sin assembly of a statement. Anyway have you ever asked yourself why South African men marry South African women only? Ask yourself that. They are very happy and very fine with their pick right at home.

The have the swagger to die for, highly competititve, they are too much aware of their looks and chose to marry late in life mostly in their early to mid thirties, They hold executive positions from their late twenties in international cooporation, having a master degree is not news with them hence they will not find it worth mentioning because the guy you may wish to boast it to may be pushing a multimillion tender as a uni dropout. But that I mean they have so many opportunities that they've realized that making money is not only about spending 7 years in varsity, They can communicate with you on any business level without a degree. Ask Sean Diddy and Donald Trump they'll tell you its possible. I am aware that some people only look up to people in the west, and look down upon africans with the same thinking. I still cant get it but hey!

Anyway my dearie the battle we have with SA men is thier narcissistic way, and boy they are because they know they can and have a lot going for themselves. On the other hand they have a problem with SA girls because no one ever prepared them for the new generation of independent women. We make our own money 9-5 since our employment equity laws that support women empowerment, we build our own houses, buy our own cars,  have children when we want men dont make that decision for us anymore.
T
These guys are finding it hard to deal with AN EMPOWERED SA woman and this has created a huge social crisis in SA. However make no mistake thay would rather put up with that and make do with it than marry any other.

I'll be leaving in 3-2-1 seconds so have a super evening girl

Oh! pardon me to those who dont understand I was asking @GODDESS TO HOLLA ME UP NEXT TIME THERE'S THIS KIND OF ACTION GOING ON IN HERE. SEEM LIKE I MISSED OUT ON THIS JUICY TOPIC.

buahahhahaa gape kere I missed out. Oska wara rekaofela. Mara ngwanyana o le yena aka xhosa girl too much. O tla gola tsatsi lelengwe. Mara keng kadi plaas japie tse tsabanyana. Why ba rata go nagana gore ba betere. Nna ke itse le gore banna ba bona gaba batle banyana ba borang le gore ba babitsa dikobo.

Nigerians please forgive my ignorance. I spend too much time with you on this forum with you guys making me laugh and making some of my difficult days a lot easier with your silly (no pun intended) ways. I also learn a lot from you guys. I felt it befitting that I come in here to wish you A happy 50th independence celebration, and may it last throughout the remainder of the year. May GOD continue to bless you.

nigerians dont let anything spoil your celebration. one day you will overcome keep believing. may the good lord answer your prayers.

I'll most definately slap him back and run for my dear life. Its a promise

@Goddess you know when a man starts cheating on you you start thinking of all the things you wanted to see as mere shortcomings. Then the mumu will out of the thick blue go out of his way to open your eyes WIDE.

Our men come with flaws all of them and what do us women do? we try to cover up for them and say love will see past the flaws and you should accept people just the way they are, when in your heart of hearts you know that the brother aint happening.

Lets be honest we know that women always get the raw end of the stick. He may have the deepest pockets and a face of a prince the gawry flaws will be there not to mention cheating even with his eyes.

Ask SEUN he'll attest.

jennykadry:
How can you still do it flesh to flesh ? What advise are you seeking?

@jennykadry nooooooo man its fresh to fresh what's wrong with you

Okay guys jokes aside I know this is a serious issue, @OP start using a condom with your wife. There's no need to leave her she may have been too afraid to loose you hence she never told you in the first place.

However I gather that she still refuses to use the condom even though she understands the kind of danger she is exposing you to. Tell her that one of you has got to remain healthy for the sake of the child/ren and the family upkeep.

Forgive her and love her she probably needs your support. All the best

@Poster be careful of such a girl. She'll tell you of all the guys she is not interested in who forever brush her skanky ego, but she'lll neeeever and neeever tell you of those she's already slept with so be careful.

If I were you i'd tell her to shut her trap next time she comes with such silly stories. Rather ask her what exactly she wants you to do with the information she keeps feeding you.

Ask her if she's teliing you such nonsense for her own benefit or yours. alright!!!!

The more i think about it the more i am convinced that fine boys are the one's to grab. I mean there's nothing worse than to be cheat by an ugly monkey, whom everybody know's you did a favour by marrying him in the first place, let alone speak to him when he first approached you. No fine boys are fine by me.

I guess sometimes its okay to have a fine boy with no money, you can at least count on pretty babies to dote on them all this time. Who knows eventually you might get 3 for the price of one the guy can build himself up and make decent money. Therefore in th end its a cute husband, cute babies and cute money

aiyaya!!!!

^^^hahhaaaha 190 I have no reason to. I am thinking about it and I thought I could get some tips before I launch 

Well the ladies have spoken. I cant stand guys who are too buff looking like something of the incredible hulk. Can somebody please tell those guys that soetimes less is more.

May I also add this and there's nothing physical about it so forgive me, but I cant stand guys who cant say please and thank you it drives me up the wall.

@Poster, forgive me but I was too lazy to go through the entire thread. But having gone through the initial post I think you've discovered enough to let go of this guy. Depending on how old you are you might want to forget about relationships and concerntrate on raising your children with a clear mind and heart. If you were meant to meet someone else that person will appear in your life and you wont have to ask questions of doubt about him.

Good luck

^^^I had to do some editing. Dont know why you see it that way but its okay I guess

Well next to my workplace we have a shop owned by nigerians something of a photoshop. Man the guys in there are so rude and one of these days I found myself having to stand up for some poor congolese guy who was badly treated in the store. Then there's some mini store owned by nigerians that I go to to buy plantains every now and then. The lady of the house is okay. I remember when I first walked into the store i greeted her and she wouldnt respond and i demanded it out of her, today she greets back with a smile and turns out to be a nice person. Then they have some little miserable girl who I'd like to believe is their housegirl. One of these days I went to buy and counldnt believe the reception I got from this girl. The girl was throwing the plantains on the floor like some animal was going to eat them (this is because she had to weigh them first), however that didnt justify her action. That was my food and I couldnt believe that she didnt see it that way. That's when I said enough of the service from nigerians they know nothing about serving customers.

Generally South African's arent familiar with plantains and I would cook them to share with my friends and colleagues. Most of my colleagues have asked me to take them to the store but I doubt if I ever will. See how much this guys have lost on the money they could have made via my network.