₦airaland Forum

I feel sorry for the guy, but the more I think of it the more I realize how important it is for anyone to check their audience before they speak. Irrespective of the influence of emotions at that particular point in time. Its called EQ

MRbrownJAY:
^^^^^^i think you're mistaking a MAMA'S BOY with a LOVING SON.

the difference is that the loving son doesnt require his mother to be in his life constantly.

hmmmm! again could that be @poster's friend perhaps? The most important "woman" in his life. In my opinion a woman is an allrounder and wife and mother there's a clear cut distinction especially in roles and how they contribute to our lives. Ok dont worry I've made up my mind about it he's a mommys boy. The most important woman (all rounder) in his life.

Maybe he could've used words such as "my mother was very impartant in my life" I guess the woman part was very unecessary

d bigrod:
[size=15pt]
And whats wrong with being a mama`s boy?[/size]

Everything wrong with being a mama's boy. Here's how it goes

- I met a nice girl, wait got to consult with mom to see if she approves

- Got a pay increase, wait got to consult with mom how to spend it

- Need to buy a car, wait got to consult with mom to see if she approves

- Wanna get married wait got to consult with mom to see if she approves of the girl

- I need to change job, move house, have a baby, wait mom has to approve

Now that's a sad story of a mama's boy

d bigrod:
[size=15pt]well am not yet married so its definitely my mother.i doubt if anyone(wife or whoever) would take her place in my heart as the number 1 woman of my life.


My mother is the sweetest and
Most delicate of all.
She knows more of paradise
Than angels can recall.

She's not only beautiful
But passionately young,
Playful as a kid, yet wise
As one who has lived long.

Her love is like the rush of life,
A bubbling, laughing spring
That runs through all like liquid light
And makes the mountains sing.

And makes the meadows turn to flower
And trees to choicest fruit.
She is at once the field and bower
In which our hearts take root.

She is at once the sea and shore,
Our freedom and our past.
With her we launch our daring ships
Yet keep the things that last.

[/size]

^^^^I knew it!!! Mama's boy, girls run run for the hills

@Poster. like you said you've already told her that you are in love with her. You dont have to say it all the time or do something extraordinary to prove it, just bieng yourself does the trick, and if she's genuinly in love with you she should be able to read between the lines. Start spending more time with her. Show interest in who she is and wanting to know more about her person person.

Oh! make her laugh a lot there's nothing sweeter than that. My first love (not first boyfriend) had me going on this one, and apparently the reason why he couldnt get enough of our relationship was how we could laugh together, Try it.

Outstrip:
There is no need to freak out. It happens. A lot has happened in the last two years. Her role is not just wife anymore and yours in just not husband anymore. There is a child now and she might not be looking sexy 24/7 like she used to. Tell her your fears and turn the romance back on. Maybe you guys have kind of lost touch a little emotionally. You just have to work at bringing it back. Goodluck

^^^Couldnt have said it better

Guy, you know just because a girl is giving you poosi 24/7 it doesnt mean she loves you. I am not going to be the one that advises you to leave her. This you will do on your own as soon as you understand what love is.

Women, why! why! @rhymz I got you.

HHHEEEEHHEEE! Guys woman are on to you. Its been siad its a man's world, there you have it. They say be careful what you ask for you might just get it. Guys your prayers have been answered. So guys anytime you want a virgin wife/girlfriend we'll give you one. In fact we can be anything you want whichever way you like. Now I never want to hear a man bi-tching about my wife/girl cant do this or that. Soon enough there'll be virgins galore.

Oh! by the way there's a thread on proud virgins I wonder what is it that they going to brag about now or are they just goin to give it up. I am about to be a virgin for the SECOND time I mean how cool is that. hhaahhahaaa! she who laughs last, you might wanna finish this sentence.

AMEN

@Radiant I must say I am with you on this one for all the reasons you've put forward. If the reason to stay at home as a husband and send your wife to work is the mortgage then I'll have to say the most practical thing to do would be to change lifestyle. Sell the house and get something smaller and live within your means. I think the operative word here should be "protection".

Husband must protect his wife and family give them a secure environment, be the leader and provider that you were set out to be. Wive gives husbands a warm, healthy and respectable home. Husband can provide a house and wive can provide a home.

Dafinately not the example that I want my husband to set for our children. I want to look up to my husband. Honestly now, not everything that the western people do is correct nor sensible. Let us learn to take some of the things they do in th ename of evolution with a pinch of salt.

I am still not sure why would a man want to stay at home while the wife works, when he is fully functional phisically? If its temporary yes! I'll do it and the man will get my full support. That's just the kind of girl I am. Man get up and get a JOB PLEASE.

Congrats and happy parenthood to you and huuby and stay blessed

chika98:
Your response has got nothing to do with your previous comment. You called your friends "boring" !
This isn't a question as to if I'd go cook for a friend of mine who is married. Absolutely has got nothing to do with it.

alright then at this point I GIVE UP.

OAM4J:
I kinda agree with both of you. But seriously, may be it is about time women take responsibility for each other, I mean, be each other sisters' keeper.

If all women say No to married men, then there will not be unfaithfulness in marriages. These randy men succeed because they always find willing women.

All these women sleeping with married men, do they ever think they will marry one day? and how will they feel with other women sleeping with their husbands

The OP is foolish, the wife is naive and unwise and the wife's friend is also not being fair to her friend.

^^^OMG Biko for this one, you read me very well. If I am your friend I should have your back and not your hubby or boyfreinds back. It would seem best friend and girlfriend here have got their priorities twisted. I just wish I knwe what each one of them was hoping to achieve in doing what they were doing maybe and just maybe I'd understand.


@chika98 I couldnt think of any reason why would a friend of mine agree to come and cook for my husband while I am away. Can you think of any one reason why your friend should come and cook for your husband while you are away? Please tell us this i've got to hear.

Anyway Lady be single and got no pride just the way I talk sometimes trying to put myself in one's shoes, it means nothing, you'll get used to it.

Ujujoan:
Isn't it just typical of women, we always find a way to excuse the men! How sad! 

^^^no excuse for the man I just dont care about him, hense never mentioned a thing about him. My concern is the woman I just cant stand it when women dont represent their ish very well. Married girl should understand her role very well and be able to handle her own business. We love our friends but I sure we dont want them to have full access iin our homes and be cooking for our husbands.

I am sorry but am not going to point any finger at man in this case, if wife wants to act all naive so be it. You may come back here and tell me that I should trust my man in any given situation, but then again I'll have to ask if some situations are worth it?

I am not trying to play games with my marriage trying too hard to please by bored friends,  I am trying to have it.

I am most willing to bet my life that best friend here never told her married friend that hubby actually touched her behind and watch that space she's gonna keep coming back for more.

These are the kind of things and women that make married/men believe that its okay to cheat, cos there's always somebody willing to do it with them.

Actually I am very tired of blaming men for this cheating thing cos women have it in them to set the stage.

I can tell you now that guy here is going to tap in there and hope it remains a secret and should poo hit the furn even the wifes parents will tell her just how stupid she has been

@Sophy09 get off your friends story already because it is all one sided.

Divine R.:
The problem started with the wife, she gave her single GF access to her home without limitation even to cook in her kitchen in her absent, I think the girl friend has key to her bed room, now is affecting her marriage unknown to her because she is about to loose the husband to her single girl friend if care is not taken.

Is high time married women come to understand that they should maintain a distance with their single friends, young sisters, mother after marriage because you love them don’t give anybody access to your home.

@OP what you feel for her is not love rather LUST , please RUN if you start it, no going back and it will definitely affect your marriage

^^^true talk. But then again what is this single woman doing, hovering around her married friends house even go to the extent of agreeing to cook for her husband? Is she crazy? What nonsense is this? Doesnt she have a life? I mean really. She needs to get her own man to cook for and one that can lust for her. Yes she is a friend in need but ya'll need to establish boundries.

People not everything is in the book, so its okay if you dont read much because sometimes you can just rely on your common sense

I am actually annoyed at these two nonsensical girls.

morpheus24:
Bros you have said it all and are the version of Nigerians that many SA's are in denial about and refuse to acknowledge as the majority. Instead the concentration is on the negative stereotypes.

SA lady mentioned Nigerians who have been in SA for ages and even young kids she grew up with. She should ask her self the question why only recently have the issues of foreign nationals  in the country been so publicizied and problematic with an emphasis on the negative aspects. If these Nigerians and other nationals have been moving freely in the country the past 20 some odd years without reprisals. Why now?

What are the issues that are driving these sentimentalities?

There are roughly about 1 million Nigerians in South Africa, at least 2 million Zimbabweans and let me add another 500,000 for other African nationals, Meanwhile with an indigenous Bantu population of[b] 40 million [/b] South Africans(excluding about 9 million whites, asians and coloreds), somehow these 3 million immigrants/migrants who are less than the remaining non black SA's are overpowering more than 15 times their counterparts and are so called causing irreparable havoc on the economy and social well being of the nation in terms of crime and taking jobs.

Do the math SA lady, the problems and "resentment" felt by SA's involve many factors less of which include the shady dealings of Nigerians in SA and you and I sincerely don't beleive that this factor constitutes a major % of what is wrong in SA and  if they were to deport 3 million immigrants tommorrow, those problems would go away anytime soon. Do you?

I concur, however please allow me to latch on the socio economic issue you’ve just stated. I think its important to take cognizance of the fact that people will only respond and influence that which is within their span of control, with reference to their socio economic status. South Africans/ Africans have been let down by their governments with regards to housing, employment to education. So whatever seems to be the problem in your country is still a problem here, hence the people resort to desparate measures (bribery leading to a laxed law enforcement system ans processes, xenophobia, drug trafficking, rape in over populated communities), Should I go on 'cos I know what I am saying here is no news to you.

The only positive spin off in South Africa is that it opened up a can of worms and got people talking, which means all eyes on our government. Which is great 'cos it only means that our government in as much as they got a  lot of things right they were negligent to other most important issues affecting the majority particularly by socio economic status.

I remain hopeful that our government will get this right for as long as they get the right pressure, and by the way south africans dont mind putting pressure hey! all in good time

RSA:
SA lady,Omo mean 'friend' in Nigerian(I know Nigerians here will start complaining that there is no languange called Nigerians but they know what I mean).So after that quick lesson lets go staight to the real thing


You've said it all,I thought that translation will dilute the meaning but you hit it where it can't cry .Thank you,ke a leboga.

Lols at the Omo situation. Here I was busy writing to "Omo" and thinking to myself who is Omo on this thread 'cos I dont remember us corresponding to anyone by that name. allow me to say Biko (go leboga nna) for the translation.

MyJoe:
Thank you, SA Lady! Thank you!! Thank you!!!

Beautiful poem, RSA! I swear you could have snatched the Shulamite from ol' King Solo if you were in Jerusalem in those days.

_{Hope y'all like my remix!}

The remix is flippin DOPE, too beautiful man. I'll be sharing this with anybody that cares to listen Thanks.

playmode:
Trust me sister,i have nothing but love for SA. My wife is a South African and she gave me two beautiful (troublesome) sons. If I don't love SA i wont have been staying in SA for the past 8 years. What i am trying to point out is that Nigerians and South Africans are equally guilty of promoting hate against each other to the joy of the "WHITE MAN" who sits back with popcorn and soda and watch us tear each other to bits.

As for Nigerians living SA, there are different types of Nigerians living SA : The desperate and hopeless ,the intelligent and progressive and the wicked & heartless. Less than 20% of Nigerians living in SA fall in to the last category.

My simple advise for the other Nigerians in the first 2 categories is to stay away from crime in SA or go back home. The peeps in the last category can be shot ,killed I don’t really care. They give my people a bad name anyway so why should I even bother about them. I care about the ones who have been stigmatized in SA because they are Nigerian even though they are innocent law abiding people.

Nigerians in SA should work together to weed out the bad elements amongst them.

P.S for the record I will never like white South Africans except British South Africans. In my line of work i have been through hell dealing with them. I wonder how you guys have been able to co –exist with them for so long.

Playmode this message came while I was busy typing something else in response to your message just had had technical problems with my computer. But I get you now. Peace

EloSela:
Why is it that Nigerians seem to have beef with every country they choose to emigrate to

In Britain. they label the govt  and media racist with a specific agenda against Nigeria and Nigerians
In SA, the Black South Africans speak to Nigerians like dogs. Make movies that portray Nigerian negatively.
In America, the Black Americans look down on Nigerians. Nigerians also label the US media racist with a specific agenda against Nigeria and Nigerians
In Italy, the Italians see all Nigerian women as whores and the Nigerian men like animals, ditto for the rest of Europe.
In China, the Chinese Police stalk Nigerian men on the street and lock Nigerians up without papers,

The list goes on and on and on

I am sure Nigerians in Heaven have issues with God sef. . .

Isn't time Nigerians stopped pointing the figure and looked inward as to what their issues are instead blaming all and sundry? If that fails then perhaps they should stay at home where you will perhaps be treated better. Victim mentality will get you nowhere.

Shooo Elo that one line question to @playmode was exactly what I was trying to get out of her and its all in your response.

@Playmode tell me do you have SA friends? and what is your level of interaction with SA citizens, I'll tell you something interesting my 9ija friends in SA couldnt believe the content of this thread. They've been staying in SA since they were young came here to school. I also have 9ija friends from diverse backgrounds including the village boys and I know how they roll. LOUD as ever and that's just how we like it. I've got friends married to naija boys and one extended family member married to a 9ija man 15 years ago.
These people are happy here and will not move country for anything. They are well travelled but only to come back in SA where they call home. They couldnt be bothered by xhenophobic stories in that they do not feel threatened. Possibly the reason why you've been here for 5 years and still going right? They hang out in SOWETO with the locals and party a storm in SOWETO on their own. During the world cup their cars had 9ija and SA flags and couldnt be bothered. Oh! need I mention that the village boys are the richest of the niaja people I know and I still dont know what the heck they do for a living and quite frankly I dont need to know 'cos that's not my office.

In the streets I meet a lot of 9ija people arrogant as ever but I couldnt give a horses azz about them. They dont know me I dont know them so peace. The one time I had a nigerian man who was stalking me and I called on my naija friends on him and they gave him a mouth full and that was the last I heared of the slowpoke.

So my dear you can come in here and sugar coat your HATE speech all you want ('cos I feel like you are patronizing) but in the end never ever use a blanket perception on such issues. There's a lot of nigerians on this forum who would love to see SA dont spoil it for them and I wouldnt want to impose my issues on them. All I can say is welcome to my home anytime. It starts with an individual so which one are you??

playmode:
First of all we need to gang up together to fight our corrupt Governments and we need to try harder to understand each other instead of stereotyping.

If a Nigerian is arrested in SA for drug dealing, my SA brothers & sisters should not automatically take out their anger on every Nigerian they come across. They should treat each individual differently depending on how he/she presents his or herself. The content of each individual's character is what they should judge.

Nigerians and other Africans as well should not assume that all South Africans are despoiler, HIV infected or xenophobic. Colonialism and apartheid has really messed up our continent and it is time the few educated Africans start working together to educate our uneducated folks and build a unified Africa.

WORD: A drug dealer is a drug dealer, does not matter where he comes from. A despoiler is a despoiler, does not matter where he comes from.

We should stop associating a particular crime to a particular nation. In SA for example in the drug trade, Nigerians play a minor role in terms of importation but Nigerians get arrested more often than other nationalities because we Nigerians have the "BIG MOUTH SYNDROME”. We like to show off and intimidate SA people in their own country, that is how our criminal minded brothers attract attention to themselves. You can spot a Niegrian mile away just from the way he is dressed and the way he wlaks like he owns the world.This is also known as "village man syndrome" as 70% of the Nigerians in SA are from the village and uneduacted.The biggest drug dealers in SA are the Chinese, the Italians, the Brazilians, the Pakistanis, the Ethiopians, the Germans, the British the Jews and the Russians but the very discipline and keep low profile not to mention that keep top SA cops on their payroll. Just a few months a ago big drug bust made in Durban worth over $5million, only British and SA citizens were arrested but SA peeps don’t British peeps. A few years ago a big cargo ship carrying tons of ecstasy tablets was seized in the port of Durban. The ship belonged to a well known Chinese businessman but because the guy was a generous sponsor of the ANC, the matter faded in to thin air. Many a times Chinese citizens have been caught dealing drugs, pirating SA music and movies but SA peeps don’t hate on the Chinese. Chinese peeps also run human trafficking rings from Mozambique to SA but South Africans love the Chinese.

What I am trying to say is that we Africans hate each other but treat the real FOREIGNERS in our land like kings. There is a joke we Nigerians usually crack amongst ourselves here in SA. We say "when a zulu man sees a Nigerian he says "Fuseck kwere kwere" but when he sees a whiteman he says "Yes Boss".This attitude must stop because it reflects a “slave mentality” -The white master is better than my African brother-.Whether we like it or not Africa is one, if not for colonialism, there will be no borders, it is the white man who cut up Africa like a pie to satisfy their greedy agendas. One love.

I must say you say a lot with too much conviction and it makes me laugh. You are getting somewhere though. Now lets hear on your solutions for Nigerians in South Africa 'cos all I hear is words of wisdom for SA. In the end you can tell us what stopped you from posting a positive message initially than to tell us about your problems with white & black SA men, SA film content and a hateful SA?

RSA:
Omo fine now,it is difficult to translate poetry to another language,the poem is in Setswana and I used my languange skills to describe this beautiful amazing daughter of the land.

Where are my SA peeps here,who went to the model c school that is paid monthly for school fees
Now translate my poem to english,let me see if your parent didn't throw their money by sending you to this expensive schools
I went to kasi school where english is taught in setswana and school fees are paid yearly,I think we use to pay 20 rand but our parents still sruggled to pay it. So english is my fourth language.I got H in woodwork

RSA emboldment LOL! story of my life. You know when I saw Omo's request I thought I could do the translation for her since you were not around, but then I realized that the poem is going to loose its flavour. I also dont know if we have the same words in english e.g. Mmala wa sebilo.

Okay Omo I can only give you the gist here.

He is talking about child with light skin, skin so beautiful that bath's in milk. Young woman with waist as thin as a waist of a honey bee. Your lips are soft and supple and if he were to kiss those lips, his lips would be stuck on hers,  and he ends by saying, Hello my star from the east where the sun rises.

That should do hope it helps

playmode:
As a Nigerian who has been living in SA for more than 5 years this topic is pretty confusing. No reason was given for why these people were deported. That being said Nigerians commit a lot of crimes in SA and South Africans at the time discriminate against Nigerians in general especially South African men(white & black).

Many a times ,i have had to dish out a good azz whooping to South African men when they disrespect me for no just reason. The whites males talk to black males like they are talking to a goat and the black males address Nigerians in derogatory tone and refer to them as Kwere Kwere.

This is not to say that all South African are xenophobic because that will be just be wrong. There are many South Africans who love Nigerians ,who watch Nigerian movies and eat Nigerian food. The problem of xenophobia in south Africa is fuelled by the racist ,biased media of South Africa. I think something needs to be done to caution the way the media reports news.

During the world cup on E.T.V a new presenter said that 2 Zimbabweans and 1 Nigerian was arrested for allegedly robbing a foreign journalist. A few days later another reporter from E.T.V indicated that the 2 Zimbabweans had been taken to court to be tried. No mention of the Nigerian was ever made again. I sent an email to e.t.v asking what happened to the Nigerian that was arrested and why he was never taken to court. I never got a response from E.T.V.I also made several phone calls to E.T.V trying to get to the bottom of the matter but they kept transferring me from one department to another.

The truth of the matter is that E.T.v just decided to spice up the story and include an imaginary Nigerian in the crime. This is what the SABC and E.T.V does in SA to discriminate against Nigerians and cause more hatred between SA locals and Nigerians. This is also similar to what they did in the movie District 9 by portraying Nigerian as cannibals and our women as whores who engage other species in sexual intercourse. Needless to say the SA media and Movie industry has no respect for Nigerian. Almost very SA movie that has been released in the past 2 years have made negative references to Nigeria, just take a look at the movie “Jerusalema”. Nollywood never makes movies to diss SA, but SA movie makers think that they can insult Nigerians and portray us in a bad light whenever they choose to.

Like i mentioned above many Nigerians in SA are up to no good but South Africans themselves are full of hate. Africans need to work together to solve the problems of Africa. Hate is not the way.

@RSA, never thought i will say this but big ups bra, i am loving that pic, I hope our retarded president sees that pic and recoil in shame. You hit the nail on the head.

Sooo! whats your solution to all your problems?

^^^^soooo! whats your solution to all your problems?

Na! he is thee most direspectful bonobo I've heared of today. I dont know what you are going to do with him but this monkey doesnt have self love and I am not sure how you manage to love somebody who doesnt have it for themselves

I honesty think there's more to the story than your dad is letting you in on. Anyway just forget aabout it these are you fathers problems and you shouldnt make them your issues in any way whatsoever. I know it may not be an easy thing to do. Also do not take it out of your half/brother love him like your blood, and give your mother all the support she needs.

But you know what I am thinking here, I think your father has been living a double life for ages.     

No problem with it

It only means you are being dumped in a very honest manner. that's if you were in a relationship with the person

onyejify:
wow, i dey single oh. make we run thins na!

Help didnt get that

All this time sleeping alone when he comes I will make sure that there's only one bedroom in the house with a single bed in it. Enough of these double, queen/king size beds they create distance in th emiddle of the night. I feel sorry for him already because there's no letting go.