₦airaland Forum

If there are issues you can't discuss with your FRIENDS for fear of snatching, should you keep those friends in the first place?

People need to offload on someone. Sorrow is easier to bear when shared and joy is multiplied when another person is happy with you.
I don't agree with this op at all. This is the mentality that keeps women in abusive relationships: don't let people know what's going on between us! This is wrong and sometimes things go way tooo wrong!

Instead of keeping packs of friends whom you're suspicious of, keep just a few who can laugh with you and cry with you. A friend on whose shoulders you can put your head and who loves you.
Posts like this is very disturbing

KenDStar: People are not bereft of common sense, you know.
Read all your comments on this topic and show me where your so called empathy is. There's no point coming online to mock people that you're not even better off. Since you claim to have served in Oba, Anambra State, you can attest to the quality of the Anambra State owned roads.

When you develop Ibadan, Ife, Osogbo, Akure, Ado-Ekiti, Lagos, Abeokuta, etc into world class cities, then you can come and complain about the performance of the SE, SS, NC, NW and NE governors but for now brother, keep your poorly disguised mockery to yourself.

And if you must know, Obasanjo was president for 8 years and Nigeria witnessed the worst degradation of federal roads from Lagos-Ibadan, Sagamu - Benin, Onitsha-Enugu-PortHarcourt, Abuja - Suleja, Ibadan-Ilorin, to even the gateway to Nigeria- the Badagry Expressway. Even the federal road that passes through Ota was in serious disrepair.

What I believe we should be discussing here is getting the Federal Govt to do its job otherwise the revenue allocation formular should be restructured and the States given a larger share and take over the responsibility for maintaining the current trunk A roads (Federal roads). It is only when this is done that I will hold state Governors responsible for the state of trunk A roads in their domain.

It hurts when another person points out the faults in your family, but truth must be told. A critic is a blessing if you acknowledge the validity of his criticism, even when it hurts.
The SE and SS governors can do far better than they're presently doing. Ndigbo are fond of investing heavily in other places while building a mansion as status symbol in their hometowns. Nnewi is already reversing this. So should other Igbos. Lest the civil war experience repeats itself.
Painful as it is, the Yorubas are at the forefront of reminding Igbos. Imagine Alaba moving to Owerri! Imagine Aba as the commercial and manufacturing hq of the eastern region. It can be done instead of wallowing in a pity-me mentality.
Anambra has produced the traditional leader that Ndigbo needs. Let's see if Ngige can do it again!

nayef: Let's not kid ourselves, on average..the more financially independent women become, the higher their insolence. Its good for women and the society in all ramifications. But, it reduces men's leverage on women terribly!

Instead of reducing the man's leverage,
It can challenge the man to up his acts/hussle.
It is a man with inferiority complex who measures his influence vis-a-vis what's in the wife's purse!


If you hold someone down, you must remain down where you're holding the person

De Beauvoir: I am not talking about contributing peanuts or earning peanuts, I am talking about the ability to fully take care of herself without any assistance from anybody. That is why I said 'financially independent'.
Most of those women doing trading are merely contributing in bits to the upkeep of the household and they still rely largely on their husbands for their sustenance.

They don't rely largely on their husbands. Many of them make far more money than their equally poor husbands.
Sorry if it hurts! But your topic has been long overtaken by events. It's insolent to be advising career women who are medical doctors, lawyers, lecturers, bankers(and the number is increasing daily) that they ought to work and earn a living.
Unless of course, you're writing to our brothers who live (you know where) who will not allow a girl to go to school.
But if the Northerners are the beneficiaries of your message, take your campaign there because they are not on NL

Sorry if my voice sounds shrill. But the issues we are managing in my group is joint account, wives earning more than their husbands, coping with a spouse losing a job, how to split the bills etc
Not whether a woman can survive on her own without depending on a man financially

hod898: Yeah its gud for women to be financially independent, but most men just want their wives to be housewives and 'serve the house' in an annoying way. They just don't care about their wives' dreams. This becomes bad especially if the woman is ambitious bcoz she begins to feel uncomfortable with her husband and tinges of regret lurks behind.

Which generation are you talking about? Because even my grandmother wasn't a full time housewife.
I am of the feeling that the op's thread is almost irrelevant. Go to the farms and markets of Nigeria and you will see that women control retail trading.
As for successful women being loose, that is quaint and old-fashioned. How can a high profile female executive sleep with who for what?
What women do with their money? Wait until the man dies and you see the family running smoothlessly. Then you'll appreciate that she's been covering for him all those years

Did she force them to snap the pictures?
They look sad and........weird!
I think people should just wear what makes them comfortable

thegoodone: i belive d guy.it happen to me during my nysc at umuahwa.they collected 2k from me at gun point.

You stayed in Umuahia for one year and couldn't learn the spelling of the town.
Every line in your short contribution has errors. And yet you were teaching!
I cringe at the thought of what you were teaching the students
A recent report says 89% of corps members can't communicate in English. I believe it now after seeing your post

Being a pessimist has too many hazards. Depression is one major result. They also tend to be moaners and groaners: very difficult to live with.
I am an incurable optimist! Nobody ever got blind looking at the bright side of life.
When I have fears, I know they won't happen.
None of the things I ever feared has ever happened, so I have discarded pessimism as bad business and unnecessary waste of energy!

gafoo4u: U'r ignorant of wot sallah is all abt. No amount of money is too much to worship ur creator. It's an act of Ibadah.

So people should borrow to worship the Creator who made all things?
How reasonable is that?

Ninapha: Well not every man. I can stand in for my husband. I hv known him for 18yrs + and he has not given me any reason to.

-Some men sure do but hv u considered that our attitudes sometimes could send our men outside!

-Other men who are into it hv been cheats even before u agreed to marry them hoping they wd stop.

-Yet the others want to belong to the big boys club, so they follow follow what their friends are doing.

-Dear ladies, we can still bring them home by being wives and not just women.

I know you mean well but this advice is a wife's nightmare: when a man is good, he's naturally good. But when he's a cheat, the wife pushed him.
This isn't fair.
A husband is a mature adult who takes decisions and should be held responsible for his actions/inactions.
Many wives take on this blame(and husbands hammer them) and become nervous wrecks.
A man will do what he wants independent of the care he gets from his wife. No one lives any other person's life

Characteristics of men that don't cheat
1.They love their bodies and won't want to endanger their health thro risky behaviour
They don't feel comfortable going unclad before just anybody
2. They have strong family values. They love their mothers, sisters, daughters and wives. Spinsters, if you mEet a man who doesn't show love to his mom, he's likely a player who sees the woman as a pleasure object
3. They have religion. The irreverent make fun of everything.

Infidelity may not be as rampant as people think. The man likes bragging of his real and imaginary sexual prowess. The women are more tactful because they often have more to lose

farem: [color=#990000]
IF WHAT YOU WROTE ABOUT LASUTH IS CORRECT, NIGERIA IS FINISH! AT THE LAST COUNT, LAGOS AND ENVIRON HAS ARGUABLY EXPERIENCED MORE AIR-CRASHES THAN MOST OTHER PARTS, AND THIS LASUTH HAS BEEN THE MAIN EMERGENCY SUCCOUR FOR OUR INVALUABLE AND INNOCENT AIR-TRAVELLERS. YOU HAVE TO AGREE WITH ME THAT THE CRASHES ARE CAUSED BY UNIMAGINABLE CORRUPTION BY/FROM FEDERAL GOVERNMENT AND ITS FEDERAL AGENCY. MY QUESTION: What has happened to the big, federal carcass called LUTH in Lagos?
Remove Lasuth, most emergency victims who are alive today must have avoidably, needlessly and painfully departed.
I appreciate this little thing and I expect more.

It's really unfortunate.
I took a very sick man to LASUTH, to Surgical Emergency. He was so sick that we feared he may not last the night.
Do you know that there was no bed space for him. He sat on a wheel chair all through the night.

I learnt Unilag hospital is even worse

Just don't fall sick in Nigeria. And if you do, have some money to pay for private care

Some of us would like to know whether it's his personal funds that he used before commending him for his benevolence.
I am not a Fashola hater. I voted him
I live and work in Lagos and pay heavy tax.
Guess this is one of the things he's doing with my money: treat prominent actors while LASUTH is overcrowded, understaffed and ill-equipped

Edunwa302: senior prpht tb joshua is an anointed man of GOD anyone dt doesnt believe he is, i wonder what else can the person believe

I don't believe in TBJoshua. Period.
I believe in the Bible. I believe in Jesus, the Author and Finisher of my faith.

I am not saying that he isn't of God. Only God knows the source of his inspiration. That he prophesied some things and they happened doesn't even make me believe him. I have dreamt of many things and they happened verbatim, but that doesn't make me lean on my dreams. I depend on God's word, not dreams or anybody's prophecy.

I understand prophecy differently which is where I have issues with TBJ. All the prophets of the Bible condemned SIN and called for national repentance. The evils that they said would happen wasn't chance occurrences but consequences of neglecting the call for repentance. Maybe I don't listen to TBJ but I haven't heard his denunciation of sin in his football prophecies.

Secondly, all the prophets direct people to GOD and not to themselves. Here he is asking Argentines to come to HIM(TBJ) to seek for prayers.
Any minister who encourages people to depend on his own prayers or guidance is suspect, as far as I am concerned. I don't even go near such because they enslave people spiritually. A minister's duty is to lead people to God, not himself

ITbomb: Is it now a sin to wake up late on Sunday ?
Do we even know what we are doing , worshipping God?
Christians just need a reorientation

It is discourteous going late for meetings.
We DO know what we are doing. On Sundays, we go to praise, pray and fellowship. And yes! We need to go at the stipulated time. We don't offer our God left over of our time and attention. Only the best is good enough.


@topic, I don't wake up late on sundays because I have to be in prayer room by 7.30am. Unless I am ill or otherwise indisposed.

I know of a young man that had to bribe his elder brother with about N250k to allow him marry first!
As luck would have it, the elder brother who married later has many children and that younger brother is yet to have a child
Life isn't straightforward, but it sure hurts to be laughed at or ridiculed, especially women

Two elder sisters? Poor them! They will be feeling soooooooo old!

I can understand the parents' concern. Peace will disappear from that family until those two ladies marry too.
They can't even share in their sister's joy during the wedding because all the well-meaning uncles and aunties will fill their ears with prayers of " don't worry my daughter. your own will soon come. slow and steady wins the race" etc.

Is it wrong? not at all
Is it good for family peace? Never!

It's even easier if they are men. Women can get very emotional over such things

I have a very beautiful but imperfect marriage!
I also have lovely but demanding children.

Good as the marriage is, I have my moments
Times when I wish I wasn't married! (when I am annoyed)
Times when I feel resentful of the children! (even though they are wonderful gifts)

But then I rally again and fall in love all over with my family! Until the next misunderstanding!

Instead of thinking of marriage as a destination where you arrive and live happily ever after, I think of mine as a journey that has the good, the bad and the ugly

But I CHOOSE to be happy in it. After all, it's for the long haul and I entered as a mature, consenting adult

MSB365: Alhamud-lillah, am proud of islam and happy to b known as a muslim..........Eld mubaraq in progress!

Don't talk like this. It smacks of inferiority complex!
A person who is comfortable in his own skin doesn't go about telling anybody or everybody that he's happy being himself.

nkenu: This is no laughing matter, because this can cause an accident which will end ones life on planet earth. I have a very similar experience this morning when i was travelling alone with my car from Jos to Bauchi at a speed of 160km, a very big monitor lizard just appeared from my dash board towards my trousers, i almost had an accident and as i am writing this the idiot is still somewhere hidden in my car. I used insecticide to spray in my car to no avail. Pls who have an idiea of what i should do? Your suggestion will go a very long way in serving a life pls.

You were doing 160km/hour?
I hope you plan to still be around for Christmas this year.

Show this your post to your loved ones so that no one calls Satan if anything should happen to you. I know they will blame the lizard instead of knowing you were bent on committing suicide

So many people who died in road accidents. Looks like the percentage is higher than those killed by diseases

alexleo: My church announces burial during church services. They first announce the death of the person and tell us to go and comfort the family. when the burial date is fixed they ll also announce it. After the sunday service they ll hold a meeting of all born again members. In the meeting they ll encourage the members to contribute money to support the family of the deceased in the burial. On the burial day the church takes charge of the service and members attend in good number. If the family of the deceased is very poor, then the church will bear the financing of the burial fully. But if they are not poor the church may choose to buy the casket or take care of the feeding or the mortuary bill or printing of the poster and program booklet depending on their discussion with the family. No matter how rich you are, the church will do one thing for you. Of course my church will always tell you about persections and trials that we must pass through as christians. You have no choice than to face the bitter truth of our christian race.

I know you are talking about The Apostolic Faith Church, the only church that doesn't pass collection plate and doesn't publicly solicit for donations.
There is no register of members.
The church can also organise funeral service for non-members for free. That is if the family of the deceased ask for it

Thankgodtt: Plz I'm lost. Which plane crash U mean Dana or a fresh crash
Biko.o

An Associated Airlines jet chartered to convey Agagu's corpse from Lagos to Ondo crashed this morning in Lagos.
Not Dana this time

Gondyke: Only four People survived the crash.

Are you sure? Who are the people?

I am an incurable optimist! I believe in Nigeria. In spite of the security challenges, corruption and limited infrastructure, we have so much going for us
1. We are 160million passionate people who have opinion on everything under the sun and are allowed to express our opinions whether we fully understand them or not. We can curse, praise, slander anybody or anything at will. Try that in North Korea and see if your head will be on your shoulder that evening.
2. We have freedom of worship and freedom of association except that parts of the NE are querying this. In some countries, being seen with the Bible is suicide
3. The weather is good. No extremes. In some climes, you change your clothes to suit the weather but in Nigeria, you can wear the same cotton cloth round the year.
4. Zero or few natural disasters. Almost all our disasters are man-made and cannot compare with the magnitude of an earthquake, a hurricane or a typhoon.
5. Fertile land, lush vegetation, cheap food, cheap clothes etc.
6. Home of very talented people: from literature to Nollywood, from football to world bank. Nigerians are smart! We export everything: from pirated films to pentecostalism!
7. The fastest growing economy in sub-saharan Africa.
Great country! Good people(most of the times)! I love my NIGERIA!

Aderemi275: Pls LIKE ma post....

I would gladly have liked your post but you didn't say anything

blackorpheus: Lets be honest. Privatisation is a bad thing. Its a sign the Government has failed!

How?
Think of the telecom sector. NITEL with 400,000 landlines and glo, mtn etc with all the millions of lines
Govt should face infrastructure, defence, education and healthcare. Nigerians can provide themselves with almost the other things.

Originalsly: I see nothing wrong in wearing trousers. Whatever a woman wears should be relatively modest..... modest in terms of what is acceptable in the local community. The very holy ones should at all times be dressed like the Muslim women. They are so hypocritical and focused on the garment instead of the heart. I guess the dress code is enforced because the pastor's wife can't compete in the fashion parade if the rules are dropped. For the earrings and piercings....I suggest you tone it down since that is more like a display of vanity.

And you appointed yourself the judge who can judge and condemn them for being hypocritical and focussed on the garment instead of the heart! And the modest pastor's wife can't compete!
Easy my dear! Just an unsolicited advice! Be careful and don't condemn what God loves and justify what He hates!
Majority is NEVER right!
Peace

If you live like everyone else, you end up where they all end up.
If you want to end differently, swim against the current!

free2ryhme: help me tell those hypocRites oooo show me in the bible wherer a woman shld not weaR tRousers

What's all the name-calling for? What makes someone who has a different persuasion a hypocrite? Is it irritating you that the person has a higher standard of morality than you? Or you think everybody is just pretending?
Please run your own race the way you understand it. Remember you won't be crowned if you don't run by the rules.
@topic, what you do, what you wear, what you think etc is determined by WHERE you want to end!
Many are called but FEW are chosen! Not because God doesn't want to choose all, but because people will not want to line up.
For God majority doesn't carry the vote. In Noah's time, eight qualified. Three came out of Sodom.
For the person who is heaven-focussed, no price is too huge to pay. In fact outward appearance has been so handled that he is focussing on inner holiness and perfection. There are such people and God knows them