₦airaland Forum

@Caponi

I have had two dealings with the Nigerian embassy in Atlanta and both times the services have been more than impressive.

First, was some time last year when I went for the new biometrics passport which was posted to me again in a matter of days and when my work place insisted on seeing only a Nigerian VISA before approving my vacation to Nigeria I went back there and just like the first time was impressed with their service. Its small,less crowd and a less waiting time plus the workers there are superb. My brother you will think the guys working there are not Nigerians.

I recommend Atlanta. Years ago as a student in the UK, when I went for my passport renewal at the embassy in London that was how it was too. You pick a number,waited to be called and you were served. Its so easy for us to do the right thing and I remember one incident in the London office when one heavily pancaked yoruba woman tried to jump everybody else without having a number picked,so trust naija people to chorus no no no. I have read a lot of complaints about the DC and NY embassy with their rudeness and manners. Sorry about what happened to your daughter but with this move by the Govt I hope people in the diaspora would have a reason to smile.

Lastly,and this goes to the people who are quick to shoot down anything Nigeria, my advice for you guys is to grow up and contribute your quota's in any little way to ensuring Nigeria becomes great as your multiple citizenship does not change your roots. And as I told somebody the other day I AM A PROUD Nigerian and even America has not changed the PURE KPAKO guy which I am,and in my little way will only lift Nigeria up both in words and deeds.

We all are immigrants in a strange land and just as you can not be more catholic than the pope,or more English than the Queen. That is how you can not be more Westernized than the people in your adopted coutry. So for the illiterates and I AM A SO SO NATIONAlITY PASSPORT FLASHERS keep making a mockery of yourself thinking you are insulting Nigeria.

I put up a post about two or so months ago on how I actually got my passport back stamped with a Nigerian Visa via an express mail delivery and it took exactly 48 hours. For those living in the United States and are close to Georgia my advice is for you to go to the Embassy in Atlanta. Not sure there is anybody that can complain about the Embassy there,and for those with triple and double nationality bad mouthing every little positive step the Nigerian Govt takes I am sure you guys are very proud of yourself. Some people can not just grow up. As if having a dual citizenship as an express ticket to heaven or even Disneyworld. Nigeria is a work in progress and I have nothing but admiration and respect for anybody who in their little ways(even by words of the mouth)in helping the country grows.

@jidegirl12 this is not about you and i but the op so it will be fair we dont derail the thread.

We have both contributed to her topic and given our respectives advices the way we deemed fit and so should let others contribute and hopefully she gains something from everybody's contribution.

But the eventual decision no matter what we say here rest on her and her husband to decide on what they want.

@jidegirl12 is babe the new word for a husband now?i am old school so not in touch with the new terminologies for husbands.

I have contributed my own suggestions to the op and and out now.

Your decison with your hubby @OP is the right one no matter what direction you decide to swing to

@jidegirl12 i do agree with you totally if you say your hubby is cool with you having only girls.

But want to talk to you and want you to take it in a mature way.

There is a popular African proverb that goes thus" DREAM NO GET WITNESS"so goes what goes on in the mind of a man.

It took me ten years to eventually tell my wife that i wanted boys as i have been telling her for years that i am very content with just having girls,but deep down in my inner recesses i knew i had always wanted atleast one boy.

And just as you are authoritatively saying now that was how my wife was authoritatively telling her friends and family that i am happy just having only girls. Whatever goes on in your husbands mind is not something you can authoritatively say you know.

I have a friend who has two boys from an African American woman in my city and he is still married to his wife and they live in far away Texas and he always has reasons because of the nature of his business to travel and the wife knows nothing.

She is always doing Thanksgiving in her church and putting their pictures on FB and thanking God always for giving her a UNDERSTANDING husband,only if she knows.

Never underestimate the actions of a man and i am not saying this applies to you,but tread carefully when you authoritatively speak about husbands thinking you know them intoto as that can be a mistake.

To the OP my advice is for you to go for happiness and goodluck.

@op you have a very interesting case here and while not trying to disregard the write ups of the contributors to your topic,it will be very helpful if the married persons here contribute as they will be in a better position to see and say things clearly.

Before i go contribute proper i want to crave your indulgence to digress a little and that has to with this so called pastors and their un-necessary interferances in people's life. Methinks they are the one playing God with their advices and they gullibles usually accept them thinking it is God using the men of God to talk to them,absolute rubbish.

On a recent visit to the Uk ran into a man we use to attend one of this new generation churches in London together and was surprised when he was telling me that the pastor of the church we both attended in my UK days and who he innocently took his marital matters to for settlement adviced his wife to divorce him,and pronto this stupid benin woman he brought from benin to London and is a British Citizen now without looking back filed for divorce on the ground of mental and emotional torture. Imagine?So my dislikes for pastors is real.

My apologies for deviating and back to you.

If you and your husband have agreed that having kids(twins)via a visit to the reproductive endocrilogist. Then your decision as a couple should be final and be well respected by an outsider.

You owe no body an explanation on what goes on in your marital life.

I have been married for ten years(10)and some change now with 4 daughters and it was just last week me and my wife agreed we too are going to a reproductive endocrilogist for coincidentally, like you too twins and we want boys.

The nature of my job takes me round the world and when i am back home in about 3 weeks will be going on that appointment with my wife and i dont owe anybody any explanation as this is a private matter between me and my wife.

Lastly, and this is very important.

I dont know your age or how long you have been married but the first rule in a marriage is never to discuss your marital matters with an outsider(that will include your mother and father)yes you love her but there comes a time you have to let go and concentrate fully on your family.

There is no such thing as an "UNGODLY" way for couples to have kids.

As my late father always says"ALWAYS DISTRUST ANY MAN THAT MAKES HIS LIVING JUST TALKING"and that will be the pastor.

Go for whatever will bring happiness in your marriage and dont be swayed by the UNGODLY advices of the people of the world.

@op There are some battles worth fighing and some not worth fighting.

I must confess I did not look at the initial date you posted your comments until moments ago which tells me it was last year. And to be fair to you. You have put up a good battle to save what i am assuming to be a good relationship and a good man,but just like the biblical saying that there is time for everything,there is also a time to let go of the past.

A man might have maturity in age and in the worldly ways but not all men are matured when it comes to the matters of the heart or emotions.

It is easier for women to commit to a relationship than men and if a man is not ready to commit,try hard as a woman would the man would walk away with any excuse,and in your case there was an excuse for him to walk away. Not considering the fact if the rumour was true or not.

Its okay for a man to stray and in most cases most men realize that the girl they left was a jewel and usually retrace their steps back.

Most times they meet the girl single still waiting for them but most times those girls have been snatched up by others that realize their worth.

In my own case after my very pretty uniport girl broke my heart,two months later I called the girl I dropped for the Uniport girl and to my surprise she had remained single for 2 years and according to her knew I would come back.

It was then I realized that this girl I left for the 4 years I dated her I never bought her chinchin,gifts or ever gave her a penny and she never complained,as compared to the Uniport girl I was spending money on both in her private hostel bill and school fees and general maintenance.

Quickly I flew to her location,funny as it may sound I prostrated while she was laughing and asked her to forgive me.

10 years and 4 children later I am still thanking my God.

I am telling you this story so you should know that sooner or later he will realize that he is letting go of a good woman and will retrace his step.

But I have to tell you this,put a time frame and if he does not come back within that time frame then its time for you to move on with not just your life but also commit to another relationship.

Its difficult letting go of your first love but trust me it is only %1 of women worldwide who eventually get married to their first love or even those that took their virginity.

I remember when I was serving one of the female corps member relocated to PH to be with her Medical Doctor fiancee and on the passing out day I remember asking her why and her reply was(YOU DON GO PORT-HARCOURT BEFORE?WHEN I GO THERE AND SEE GIRLS AND HOW THEM CHEAP I GET TO PROTECT MY MAN BEFORE THEM SNATCH AM)

Its difficult to be an eligible bachelor in PH without falling into temptations.

My prayers are with you and I hope everything works out well for you. Just as good men are difficult to see that is how good women are difficult to see and from your post,aside the little stubbornness you are a good woman and I wish you luck.

@op

Rule 101 in any relationship especially from the angle of the female is never to assume or act the role of a wife in any relationship,and this will include being un healthily being close to your boyfriends family.

Before you had problems with him your position was that of a girlfriend which you hoped might culminate into something else and until it gets to that point and from which you can have a say in his family matters i.e what they said or did not say about you,a mature lady would have simplied ignored them and your texting his family was a bad move.

Being a wife encompasses many things aside beauty,intelligence and brains. It includes maturity and the ability to comport oneselves especially when dealing with inlaws,and for this you need wisdom as sometimes even if you are right the way you go about sorting out issues might put you in the wrong.

I have been married for 10 years now and can authoritatively tell you that in the African context the day a woman goes into a battle with the inlaws or even if the inlaws have a reason to gang up against her then that is the beginning of the end of her marriage,and in your case its even easier to end since you are not even his wife.

Wives comes and go but family stay together through thick and thin.

Somebody said he saw you doing something bad and whispered it to your boyfriend and family?your conversation in trying to put that rumour to rest would have entirely being with your boyfriend who would have been in a better position to convey your innocence to his family and the rumour mongers. He would have been in a better position to clear you considering the fact that he knows you best.
Him saying you should not come to an occasion and you showing up still does not prove any point aside proving to him,his family and even some of us that you are stubborn.

Remember this guy is still not yet married to you and if he says please because of the way things are now don't come to this occassion but you showed up anyway thinking its your right does not only show immaturity on your part but also someone fighting a losing battle,plus the fact that if as a girlfriend you can't listen to what he says then what will happen when you become a wife?a sensible girl should choose her battles wisely.


We don't know you but your boyfriend knows you better and if he feels or thinks yo are not that kind of girl to mess around then he would come back to you.

Years ago I was dating one girl at Uniport. Born again and everytime I called she was always in class,church or her room reading. My female cousin in her school then use to tell me she was doing runs and I told her off. she went as far as telling my brother but I told my family I trusted her and so my family let me be. I flew into the country for the introductions with her family,one of my friends working in an oil sector in PH came to the hotel to see me and Behold i noticed tension and cold feelings between them but I thought nothing about it. Next day my friend called me and told me he has slept with my wife to be and also passed her to two of his friends. That was the end. Till today I distrust born again people,so if there are rumours of you doing stuff why did such rumours start at the first place?. If you are innocent then your karma will fight your battles.

Two weeks ago I had gone into the oceanic bank(Eko Bank now)in warri to pick up some money via western union and the lady in front of me used her voters ID to pick up money. I was surprised that they accepted it,but I thought since she had an account in the bank and the money was small($100 and yes I helped her out with the form as it was her first time)I thought that was why they accepted it. Just saying that most banks have been doing it before it was officially announced by the CBN. Nice one though.

@op

If you had asked the relevant authority then you should know there is no way you CAN START anything yourself aside the submission of the application at the embassy, if all the relevant documents have been put together.

Everything is on your husband to do in the US. The only thing you have to do in Nigeria is to get a National Population Census birth certificate for the child.

He has to go to his county court in the US to do an affidavit of parentage and the rest,attach his proof of citizenship,marriage certificate(there is a form too to file for a child if the parents are not married)attach the right fee and you if he is not around you can then submit the application yourself.

You can get more info from LagosACS@state.gov

That is the wing of the US EMBASSY responsible for such matters and i assure you,your question will be answered under 24 hours.

There is no short cut to it and there is no advice any Nairalander can give you.

If the child was born to a US Citizen and they have no reason to have suspicion then it should be straight but if your application raises suspicion,that is when the DNA thing comes into play just to confirm the paternity of the child,the US don't joke. I should know because i did one not long ago.

Good luck.

I dont know how he died but may his soul rest in perfect peace.

Death is not something i even wish to an enemy.

My encounter with a drunk police along Ore/Benin road in 2006 has made me a firm believer in flying and never driving to the Southern part of the country,make planes dey fall i go still enter.

Just got into the country from the US for my Gran's burial and since i had a car from my previous visits parked in the family house in lagos,now decided to drive to Delta.

MISTAKE ONE:not removing the Airline tags from all the bags in my trunk.

MISTAKE TWO:did not inform my family i was coming into the country and so drove alone to Delta.

MISTAKE THREE: letting those dollars stuffed in your wallet flash while trying to bring out your drivers licence.

I must have been stopped like 20 times and all asked the same thing OGA NO COME DOWN GIVE YOUR BOYS KOLA MONEY.

Got to the one just after Ore and this Hausa fellow said i should come down. I came down and opened my trunk as instructed,he looked at the tags and asked where i was coming from. I said from outside the country but did not specify. He said open all your bags for search and i am like please sir i am in a hurry to get to Delta State.

He looked at me and asked me YOU DEY HURRY BAA?i answered yes. He said turn everything for all the bags down. I looked at him again and that was when the whiff of cheap whisky(ogogoro)from him hit me.

So i said please is there a superior officer i can talk to?before i go to this other side of the story let me describe myself.

I am BIG in size.

So you can imagine my surprise that a simple question(So i said please is there a superior officer i can talk to)triggered him and the next thing was a kick to my stomach and he kept kicking me.

I went down shouting and i heard a rifle cock.

It was the other policemen who were standing afar doing check point that rushed to where we were and dragged him away.

I never argued with him. obeyed his instructions and all, but that guy was out for blood that day and unfortunately i came along.

Never in my wildest imagination did i ever think a weapon can be given to a drunk officer.

I am still shaken till today. One Yoruba policemen amongst them now assisted me with my things back into my trunk,apologised and told me that it could have been worse.

My hands on the steering kept shaking until i got to my village.

I could have been killed along that road and nobody would have known since the whole family was in the village.

I only fly now as i consider myself lucky because going through that road the second time might not pay me.

I say this story because i believe that some policemen are capable of unjust killings, just like what happened to this young man.

Pharuk lol.

Funny guy. Could not stop laughing after reading your post. Desperate for oyinbo?lol lol.

When I was schooling in London,it was like a unwritten rule and we really never mixed with each other.

Indians dey one corner,chinese dey another,Nepalese dey,Oyinbo dey their own and even inside the Oyinbo them get clique(Eastern Europeans dey one side and the British/ Irish/scottish
dey one side)and we Nigerians dey our side. Every Nigerian claims to be Prince from somewhere,sotay one Chinese guy ask me say whether ordinary people dey Naija since everybody papa na king and all of us na princes and princess.

Don't know about now but almost 11 years ago girls scarce for London. Then na for London you go see boys with Kongi dey fight for GURUGU(girl wey no get leg). The only Africa club then for Old Kent na 20 boys to one girl for dance. Woe betide you if u carry ur babe go. Oyinbo come with her BF like 30 guys go round am up for dance.lol.

Yeah,London.

Nearly the same thing the last time I visited in 08 except plenty female international students dey town.

@op your observation abi na talk sef brings back fond memories of London.

@op

Your age does not really matter when it comes to the matter of marriage.

Simple questions and answers to yourself.

(A)do you feel you are psycholically ready?
(B)are you willing to let go of your bachelor ways?
(C)are you committed in a relationship now that might lead to marriage?
(D)are you both medically compartable?
(E)do you think you are ready to be a father?
(F)are you willing to shoulder that responsiblity of being called a HUSBAND and FATHER?without making excuses.

I have been married a long time now and i married a friend of mine from the University who met me when drinking garri and cooking my 10 Naira Owoh soup(the cheapeat then)was a luxury.

She stayed with me through thick and thin and that is the kind of woman you need.

Has my marriage been perfect?no.

We have our ups and downs mostly occassioned by me, but i have a friend i my wife.

So the key word here is to find a friend in whoever you are dating now and if you see that friendshi thing in her,do let it culminate into a marriage.

The KEYWORD is a friend. Not her BEAUTY,MONEY,CHARMS and whatever she has to offer.

@op

i am 11 years older than you and i cry most of the times when i think of my dad.

Coincidentally,its 3 years now that i lost him and it still hurts.

I was 10 when i left home for a boarding school in the North and after i finished went straight to the Uni.

From my NYSC to a Post graduate school in the East, and from there to another post graduate school in the UK.

Worked briefly after school in the UK and then relocated to the US.

Why am i telling you this?from an early age i had been away from my dad and never really got to know him.

Ironically,dad and mom were dirt poor who did eveything(from borrowing,selling akara/pork meat,security guard and okada riding)to make sure i had an education.

and a day after my dad was granted his immigrant visa to relocate and join me,he just slumped and died in Lagos.

Thats why my mom is an EGG to me and my wife knows this.

I cry because after putting so much investment in me and was just reaping all he sowed,he just died.

Sometimes i comfort myself with the fact that he lived the last 10 years of his life not lacking anything at all and not working again.

I am having a life with my kids that i never had with my dad because you never know when you might go.

So,@op there is no age or gender thing when it comes to crying.

Real men cry.

@op

NJ and Texas?Texas.

Will not bother going through the PROS and CONS of both States, as a lot of people on NL who like to argue a lot will start their childish arguments.

So my advice to you is simple. When you come over,take a feasibility visit of both States before making your mind.

Good luck.

@OP

First,i do not live in NJ and have been there mostly on visits.

NJ has a large immigrant population due to its proximity to NY and since accomodation prices in NY is cut throat,most people prefer to live in NJ.

There are job prospects everywhere in the world as long as one tends not to be too choosy,especially as a new immigrant.

Your Engineering degree and your wife's nursing degree and their value ends at the MMIA in lagos,unless of course you guys had those degrees from a college in the United States.

I came to the US with a degree and masters from Nigeria, with another masters from the UK and never got any sensible job because of the discriminatory(unwrtitten code)against foreign certificates. So, i kept my PLENTY DEGREES somewhere and did something i considered not befitting me while studying for a certification on a particular field here. And so far i am enjoying what i do now.

So bottom line is, you should give yourself a year or two to settle down fully. But most importantly,you will have to get some kind of education in the US for you to be fully accepted at their work place.

Most former nurses in Nigeria i run across into here are into CNA and unless your wife chooses to do that then she sould be ready to attend a nursng school for 4 yrs or so.

So, my friend you should be READY to do any job that comes your way for now.

Accomodation, and it depends on what city you want to live in is fair.

There is a large Nigerian presence there and some might hook you up to something real fast,so you can start standing on your feet quickly.

I dont know how deep your pocket is but you seem to be asking for a lot of things at once(safe area,quiet neighbourhood,cost of living and the rest)all these cost money.

If you are very rich and relocating to the US then you can be picky. But if you are a regular guy just relocating,by the time the owner of the house you and yor family first stay when you get to the United States is done with you. You will be in a hurry to move into any neighbourhood so as to get away from him,unless of course you are lucky to put up with a family member or friend who will not give you hassle.

Welcome to the United States. The greatest country for opportunities in the world, and may your stay be smooth.

My brother the OP.

This should be the third or so time i am running across this same post,including one you put in as a rejoinder to an earlier post i wrote.

Painful as it may sound,everything about your question raises a red flag. And i don't even know you.

First,although the Nigerian immigration website is not not perfect,it usually does not REJECT PAYMENT.

Getting to the payment part of it might be slow and difficult,but it does not REJECT payment and a card can ONLY be DECLINED if there is INSUFFICIENT FUND in it.

This has nothing to with the NIS.

Scenario Two: Let us assume that the NIS website rejected the payment, all he needs to do is visit the Nigerian Consulate in the Netherlands with all his appropriate documents and payment for visa either in postal order,money order,cashier check, or card payment and he will be given the visa.

Even if the embassy will refuse his visa they will first take money first as most embassies in the world do,so saying the embassy rejected his payment does not hold water.

THE RED FLAG THING.

So a friend wants to fly in from Holland,and i am assuming from your write up to attend something that has to do with your birthday?this would have actually been laughable if not for the sour taste of the story.

From your write up too i am assuming(A)he is a foreigner(B)you have not met him before physically(c)you have not traveled out of Nigeria or better put to Holland before. So it beggars believe what your motives are exactly for trying to bring this man to Nigeria.

The story of the guy months ago who killed a Spanish or Dutch guy(i stand to be corrected)in his hotel room in Lagos after luring him from Europe is still fresh. And his excuse for killing him?that the guy was a GAY and drugged and slept with him. Methinks the real motive was ROBBERY AND MURDER COMBINED.

And this is why i am wary of guys like you who befriend foreigners on the internet and look for ways to lure them to Nigeria.

What is special about your Birthday?even Nelson Mandela,the most popular African did his birthday and people and dignitaries from the world did not fly into South Africa,but all sent goodwill messages.

So what is special about yours?

morever people dont pay for tickets when they have not been issued visas.

Everything about your story smells of a malicious intent.

Lastly, my brother i dont know what games or plans you are into. But ABEG our name don spoil reach no join put again.

Late thursday afternoon i drove into Atlanta and was in a hurry to get to the embassy before they closed,as i needed to get a Nigeria Visa on my passport for official purposes indicating i was going to Nigeria.

Did the paperwork at the building behind the embassy and submitted my application. Was told it will take about 3 days for them to grant me the visa and mail me back my passport.

So you can imagine my surprise when i checked my mail on Saturday and my passport package was in the mail. Still very surprised.

This will mean the Visa was stamped sometime that thursday and since i paid for a express delivery got it on saturday. The reason i put this write up is for us to put the good news out there when our embassies do a good job,instead of the constant curses,insults and complaints i read about here.

Sometime ago, i also wrote about my experience at the Nigerian embassy in London,then as an international student years ago in the UK. And my experience in the Atlanta office early last year when i came for the biometric passport. On all occassions, dont know if i have been lucky or went at the right time, but my experiences with the Nigerian embassies has been pleasant.

And until i have a bad experience will continue to say it as i see it.

And for those always going to New York or DC. I will advice you try the Atlanta office. Its small,cordinated,and well run.

No be ONLY THE BAD SIDE of things we go dey Write about make we write good things too.

@fluid26.

It takes a very mature mind to comprehend your words *Stop whining. Learn all u can from ur father, u'll miss him when he's gone*

Usually not one to comment on NL,considering the fact that most commentaries here are either childish or insultive. But this struck a nerve deep down and i want to say thank you.

I finished my NYSC when ALAWII was a Thousand Three or Five Hundred Naira(can't remember),which makes it a long time ago.

Coming back home to my folks(a tiny face-me-i-face-you-room setting with eleven of us)my space for sleeping had been taken after i left for the UNI,and i came back a grown man.

Dad was always on my case after a month i finished service,in our little ghetto in lagos,shouting in front of all the neighbours that i should go get a job.

Tried explaining to him that it was not in my hands even though i had been dropping my C.V in the Islands and buying,reading and applying from the Tuesday or Wednesday(can't remember)Guardian obediantly.

I hated my father then.

Eventually things went well,got a good job and eventually moved to the UK.

I remember the last day i saw my father alive.

And as i write this,it brings tears.

I had moved them into a posh part of Lagos and life was sweet,so i came home from the UK amd told him i was relocating to the United States.

He prayed with me and we ate.

As i was leaving for that Airport that evening(a friend came to pick me)for some strange reasons i felt there was a eye on me so i looked back and there was my father upstairs at the balcony staring at me,i waved and he waved back.

That was the last time i saw him.

Left for the United States a week after i got back to the UK.

Some weeks later i got a call from an uncle of mine that my dad had slumped and died.

It was strange because i had sopken to him and my mom like two days earlier.

He was 58.

Its been years now and it still hurts.

Hurts because i never told him what he meant to me,never told him thank you and never told him i loved him for all the sacrifices he made for me while growing up in poverty,up to the university level.

Never told my dad anything and it still hurts me after all this years.

@op,i only have my mom so i call her everyday appreciating her. My dad died for me to clean my eyes and hold on to what i have.

I am married with kids now but mom is someone i hold dear and if she is not in my house in the US or me visiting Nigeria and seeing her in person,i call.

Please appreciate your folks.

Don't know your age but take it from somebody you can consider to be an elder brother,your dad is guiding you on the right path but the young brains usually rebel against the right choices.

Appreciate your dad and mom. Never ever give up on any opportunity to tell them how much you appreciate and love them.

But most importantly,never ever talk about your dad or mom in a public fora.

Nigeria is a beautiful place to live and work in,in as much as you know your onion and be well informed.

I have also noticed a trend that the people that ask about the situation of how Nigeria is are guys that grew up in Nigeria and either went for further studies or the golden guinea in the diaspora,so it beats my imagination why the question?Nations dont change over night as the Nigeria you left a few years ago is still the same Nigeria you will be meeting when you come back.

And,until i see a Nigerian by parentage visiting the country for the first time ask about the situation of the country(Nigeria), i will assume those questions asked here is one of those NOTICE-ME-QUESTIONS-BECAUSE-I DEY ABROAD.

And a quick question to those living in the UK,Una think say una don travel abroad?its funny always when i see somebody living in the UK ask questions about Nigeria. If you live in the UK then dont bother asking about what is obtainable in Nigeria as whatever you are experiencing in the UK is the same you will experience in Nigeria,except for the fact that you will have a more spacious home/house to sleep in Nigeria than the SARDINE CANS(houses small like cells) you call homes in the UK.

OUR PEOPLE MAKE PROVERB SAY THEM DEY CALL MEAT, KPOMO SEF DEY COME SEE HIM BE MEAT. This UK people should stop asking questions on NL because una be KPOMO.

To the OP, there is nothing here anybody can tell you as a matter of adjustability is a personal thing and your experience(s) might be different from others.

I dont know if mine is relevant as it was a case of wrong spelling of my name on my NYSC Discharge certificate where one letter was replaced with another(never bothered correcting it till date)but when i applied for my Masters in the UK 11 years ago i was given the visa with all my attached documents which included the NYSC Certificate.

I was not refused but it could also be that i got the visa for this reasons (A)i had been travelling to the UK before and matter of fact just got another 2 yr visting renewal then applied for a student visa weeks later which would have made them not really look at my documents(B)things might have changed differently from then with the way student visa's are handled now as regards vetting.

If it was me and i speak from a personal point of view i will submit my applications without any document refering to the error in the spelling,but of course that is me.

@combatmedic

Good choice.

The part in your post still very confusing to me is the part of you getting medically discharged while in training.

How can you be medically discharged while in training?when the CHIEF pre-requite in joining the military is that you have to be certifiably healthy?

But let me not jump into illogical conclusions as their might be medical waivers for some health conditions in the British Army.

But in the US Military they screen you for EVERYTHING and you have to be atleast 99.99% healthy to get in.

Your blood work is done(HIV/AIDS),tuberculosis(for people with African descent),rare blood disease check,vision,Teeth,hearing,your weight,height,you will walk the DUCK WALK to show your joints can move,for the male they check your BALLS for prostrate and you bend over for two medical doctors to use a flash light to check your ANUS for one funny disease i have forgotten the name. Then when you are in you do most of this checks up yearly again.

They do this so they dont take any sick person in as that will later amount to be a burden on the Govt for treating that soldier,and that is why you can not have any medical condition and be in the military.

But if you get it while in training(break your leg or back or somebody mistakely shoot your leg lol) then your STEADY DISABILITY SHORORO(money)forever is guaranteed.

One thing common in Military training and and it affects the women mostly,is the HIPS.

Too much running while in training usually leave people with broken hips and they are usually give medical discharge while in training.

My BROTHER HOPE SAY U SABI RUN?you go see run inside MILITARY TRAINING you go begin think say you dey do training to go olympics with wetin be that Jamaican guy name?

My prayers is that you dont develop any medical condition while in training as the military will open a lot of doors for you,especially with all your education and if you add prior military service to your RESUME/CV work finish.

Another thing i forgot to add is that you should be mentally strong as you will need it to survive the hard training conditions.

On a lighter note(LAFF NOW)if you are married or have a girlfriend,try do well well before you GO as your thing no go GET UP again for a long time because you will be so tired every night from training your thoughts will not even be on BANGA AND STARCH(which is my favourite food)let alone babe.

Keep us informed before you ship as our prayers are with you.

Good luck and God speed.

Combatmedic,

No matter what anybody contributes here the decision is eventually yours to take.

A lot of people have made contributions here both bordering on immigration(citizenship)or if you do decide to go for your educational pursuits(good job/life after)both nobody has asked you the question on the reason why at first you decided or were contemplating on joining the Army?

The Military is not as it is shown on the MOVIES. Being in the Military is a very serious game of LIFE or DEATH.

Its either you kill or you get killed,and taking a decision to go on HARM'S way requires a lot of courage,deep thinking and sacrifice and this is why i say the decision is yours to make.

You can get your Doctorate today and still not find a job and you can still get it today and find a job.

Getting a Doctorate does not qualify you for an automatic job especially in western countries where you run into 27 or 28 yr old Doctorate degree holders without one day of job experience.

But,first without necessarily explaining on the pages of Nairaland you know deep down in your mind what you want to do,how you want to do it and your reasons for doing it,so go for your dreams and my brother your decision will be the right one since this is about you and no one else.

@chika98 Read your post about the British Passport thing and smiled. It is nice if a person will be made a citizen after joining but it is the bigger picture we should be looking at.

There is no CITIZENSHIP in the world worth a man's life,so he gets it and goes to war and gets blown up?what then is the usefulness of the British passport?thats why i said to join the military,especially in a Western world as an immigrant should come from the heart where one would be certain that he or she wants to do it.

Statistically,people die more from CAR ACCIDENTS in any part of the world than at the war front, so joining the military does not necessarily means one is going to die even when deployed.

@claremont There is racism everywhere and not just synonymous to Australia or any western World.

In Nigeria we dont call it RACISM but ETHNIC BIAS.

The Ibo's do not like or trust the Yoruba's and Ditto the Yoruba's.

The Urhobo's and Ijaw's don't like the Itsekiri people no matter how nice any Itsekiri person is and the Itsekiri too have the same mutual feelings towards people from there,Hausa's and Fulani's have deep suspicion of each other and my BROTHER that is how things work in the world.

There will always be one form of BIAS/RACISM somewhere but the GOAL should be the focus and not how people look at,perceive you to be or even treat you.

The GOAL is the objective.

My brother the last thing is that the CONTRACT you signed into the Military is not BINDING until you ship for training,so if you decide not to go for training nothing will be done to you. If you show up for SHIPPING TO TRAINING then the contract officially becomes binding.

(You fit say somebody KPAI for the family for Naija and wan go back so u no fit go training again and them go leave you)

Good Luck my brother.

SemPer Fi.

I dont know how the British Military system works or the incentives that follows but usually military pay for your education,so there will be no need for the scholarship.

In the United States, the Military have what is called a G.I Bill,which basically is $50,000.00 for your education and if not used can be transferred to a family member. But you also qualify for a Tuition Assistance(TA)where the military pay for your education(and in cases like yours part of the fees since its at the Doctorate level)so in any way its a win win situation,as you can both be doing your military duties and still study.

Don't know if you did some research about being a Medic but as a Combat Medic you are always on a DEPLOYABLE STATUS(so unless you plan on taking your PH.D online)combat medics live a pretty much busy life where there will be conflict with your studies.

Years ago too after my Masters in the UK i flirted with the idea of joining the British Military,but after talking with the recruiter we agreed on the fact that what i wanted to do in the military was what could not be offered.

Ask the recruiters first about the educational incentives the British Military offers.

My advice?go the military way.

Let us meet DOWN RANGE(Iraq/Afghan)

@maninmood

For the first time i am reading about somebody who shares the same fear as i do.

Grew up in deep poverty and crime around me in lagos(about 80% of my childhood friends were either killed by the police or died in funny circumstances)and some how i escaped all this and eventually got some education and even went further to study in the UK by sheer luck and Work in the US now.

I have a great job and great life but always afraid for the fear of failure and poverty.

This is deep pyschologically and i just cant be able to check it off my head and its not funny at all,i have read the bible and listened to sermons on letting go of the past but how does one forget what you can think about?its in the head.

One logical conclusion i have come to is that when i start having kids i will ensure they dont grow up lacking or grow up around a crime infested area because the effect on them might be like the one i am having now,which basically is not healthy.

I have one of the best jobs in the world,have one or two dollar saved,very educated,drive a nice car,an American citizen,live in a nice house and yet i keep having this feeling everyday that i will lose everthing and go back to how i started life.

Talked one time to my pastor and we prayed over it but yet anytime i see somebody at the gas station begging for money, it will bring out memories of how i grew up and how i lacked for almost 25 years.

Thinking of approaching a Pyschologist to talk to but the eventual battle is mine to make and stop thinking i will lose everything and return back to poverty in Nigeria.

Nairalanders, there is nothing funny about what this poster put up here and there are people like us suffering like this,very much afraid of going back to poverty and how we started life.

@oyewolejos as earlier stated i run across people in the US who just got in and from gist some tell you how they got in but to be honest never asked them how they did it or even go into details with them as i consider that none of my business so maybe would have known some details.

@Vicjustice there is no need to get worked up over anything as i believe we are having an intellectual discuss and not an argument where the superior argument carries the day,there are no judges here.

First and this is very important, i have never encouraged anybody in real life let alone across the internet to pay for any kind of visa services as i have always believed in going to an embassy and legitimately applying for anything and if your papers and reasons are genuine then i see no reason why a visa should not be given to anybody,but our society have this defeatist attitude that everything has to be boought or paid for and that is why people are getting scammed.

Note,the only reason i ever added my ten cents to this conversation was because of the FINGER PRINT thing and what my cousin told me which does not necessarily transcends to giving anybody encouragement to pay for a visa service,i am not an agent and will never encourage or discourage anybody who plans on travelling in whatever way they deem fit.

Ironically,lets put it mildly that i work for the Govt and on something bordering on National Security and part of my job is to police the Border so i do not encourage people to run a foul of the law so will not encourage any one to break any immigration law. I WORK FOR THE LAW so should know better.

@justwise there is a possibility that i was lied to and i will not be that stupid to argue or defend something i know nothing about. You do not know me so to come out and authoritatively say my story is made up is tantamount to calling me a liar.

Please do not call me a liar as you do not know me as that was uncalled for. All i said was what people told me and i have never authenticated their stories if its true or not and i did not call them liars or said they made up their stories.

Everybody has his story and i dont know in what country you reside in but if you reside in the US you will hear stories of people and how they entered this country and you will SHOUT its impossible, but yes they came in. Some stories you hear you will find it hard to believe and it is the MARK of an EDUCATED MAN to have an open mind to issues instead of the MENTALITY that everything you dont know about is a lie,you cannot know all.

I come here to read Nigeria news and stumbled on the travel section by mistake which makes interesting reading and have basically kept my opinions to myself.

Who ever wants to TRAVEL OUT should do the right thing by going to the embassy themselves.

@justwise

I have met a lot of people in the US who used the diplomatic passport to come.

No interview. No finger print and thats why its called a diplomatic passport.

Did not know about Diplomatic Passport until some years ago so ask about it. Thats why people working in the External Ministry,Governors,Presidents,Ambassadors,house of Rep and Senators and a host of others with their entourage and children use when travelling.

My cousin has no reason to lie or all the others i have met.

We all Can not know everything and if this is the first time you are learning about this then do a little research about it.

Abi you don hear say Any of this people go interview before for visa?the law requires them to submit the diplomatic passport after they retire or finish their term and revert back to their personal passport but trust Naija we no dey carry last.

@Vicjustice,jonyjay ,justwise.

Its possible that the Visa might not be a scam and it all depends on the source he gets it from.

I use to think that you can not get a US Visa without going for an interview or at least have your finger prints taken but i was wrong.

Have met a lot of people in the US and matter of fact ran into a second cousin of mine two days ago who came here on a Diplomatic Visa.

According to him,he paid a Million upfront and after the Visa came out he paid the balance of another million.

Bottom line is he never attended any interview and does not even know where the US Embassy is,and with his diplomatic passport he went to Canada some days ago before we met days to the xmas in the US.

So yes its possible.

Travel agencies usually have means of verifying visa's and thats why they take or make copies of your visa page if you are travelling to a western country and in the case of the US the travel agency you buy your ticket from needs to send your passport and visa number 76 hours before take off and if it comes back Negative then the travel agency will notify you.

They do this for all FLIGHTS going to the US to verify if a person is on the NO FLY LIST and if a record of your visa comes back negative your travel agency will let you know.

@jujumma if truth must be said you tried to beat the British system as most Nigerian's are wont to do but it backfired. The people who usually have their kids in the UK without any kind of proper documentation or on a visiting Visa usually dont have the plans of bringing their children back until the kid(s)are due and eventually get their citizenship,and if i am am not mistaking its usually seven years.

Years ago on a Tourist Visa before i later went back as a student before relocating from the Uk,my wife went to the UK to have our first child and when asked at the hospital in Dartford what our status was(note my wife went into labour some days after we got to the uk so i called the ambulance)i honestly told them that we were on a tourist Visa and will be going back home soon, and we were told we will be charged and i agreed.

Weeks after the delivery of the child i got a letter from the hospital and the amount we were supposed to pay(1200 Pounds) and even though i did not have it then and against all the advice of all Nigerians that i should DODGE and not pay. I came back to Nigeria with my family and on my next Visit to the UK months later went to the Hospital to pay and still have the receipts till today.

If you had paid the Hospital bill and when applying for your child,all you needed to have done was attach the PAYMENT RECEIPT and your child would not have been denied. Your case is what is referred to as MEDICAL TOURISM and most countries in the World are against it and people coming to USE THEIR MEDICAL SYSTEM free of charge and then disappear. Be Truthful even in Nigeria given birth is not FREE and as a tourist in the UK why do you feel you qualify for a freebie?and the funny thing about yours is that you have been going to the UK without thinking of going back to the hospital and paying your BILL. Trust me there is a bill in the Hospital for you some where and as soon as you pay it or send somebody to pay it for you and get your RECEIPT to show payment the Embassy will continue to deny your son entrance.

Authoritatively stating it as somebody who was born and grew up in the West,had his early education both in the North,West and South. Did my NYSC and Post-Graduate study in the East,i am well grounded in Nigerian delicacies and i make it BOLD to say STARCH/BANGA/OWOH is the best food in Nigeria and before you are quick to criticise, do endeavour to try the delicacy. Just thinking of that food is leaving me salivating now.

@dirtygamer Puerto Rico is a US Territory, just like the US Virgin Island,Guam(which is close to Japan and Korea) and Northern Mariana Islands.

To go there you need a US VISA handled by the American Embassy. Puerto Rico is not a country but a territory.

Its just the same thing like the UK. You cannot apply for a Scottish Visa,Wales or British Visa as some people usually call it which is wrong. You can only apply for a United Kingdom visa because the UK has four countries inside it.(England,Northern Ireland,Scotland and Wales)this are the four countries that makes the UK, so it will be like you going round looking for a SCOTTISH EMBASSY as there is none.

To process your school in Puerto Rico you have to go through the US EMBASSY.