NoToPile:
The poster is even taking it too far abroad loun loun

Even here in naija once it is presumed you live a 'good life' - have a good job (God help you its one of those popular organization that 'pays well' ) drive a decent car, just normal things you seem to have the request starts pouring in and every body feels you are rich.

-family members

-Church members ( they will tell you to donate a huge amount)

-Even the vegetable seller on your street if you price too much she ll say madam na wa ooo you carry jeep come dey price my vegetable like that

-Everybody starts begging you for one thing or the other.

If you finally want to nail yourself go and flaunt on Facebook whether you are in abroad or naija the requests will be extended to friends acquaintances distant family.


We have this entitlement mentality.

My cousin , he should be older than me with nothing less than 20years asked my retired mum for 50k to add to house rent about 2years back, mumsie came up with 25k the dude came to her house collected the money and didn't open mouth to say thank you, mumsie didn't believe it. She told me I just laughed, she couldn't bear it she had to tell his younger sister that one said Iro ooo it's not possible, she called him and said egbon is it true somebody dashed you 25k you just collected it and left he was blabbing.

He now called mumsie and was trying to apologise, last year he got married, its family that still contributed, mumsie sponsored the food part of the wedding.

This same cousin refused to tell another cousin of mine he was getting married simply because he asked that one for money and the other cousin said he's not really boxed up presently because his daughter got admission to college of medicine and he has paid huge amount as fees, my guy lock up stopped calling the other cousin despite all he has helped him with in the past.


After this my cousin got married I sha told mumsie to be ready too, she will pay hospital bills and train pikin. Wifely gave birth this year during lockdown, they say called to rejoice I was watching, the next day it was ermm no money to discharge , its was a normal delivery ooo no complications mumsie was like what you no get money you go private hospital . You didnt know the amount they charge before ni .He now said his wife said general hospital wahala is too much she can't go through that stress. Issorait.

Mumsie vex me sef I vex join even me I didn't use private as I know quality private hospitals are pricey its General hopsitaly I jejely went for antenatal as they will have specialists too and price will not be too much.

After about one week he now called and said he was expecting that mumsie would have sent him some money, that's how mumsie para wella and started listing the amount of money she spent on medicines for that month that she too has expenses that who will she tell.

I was just looking at the both of them. The annoying part is that he's working.

If people can still try to collect money from a retired old woman who is now free.

The entitlement sha.

Was funny

canDy4eva:




Please loud it ooooo...

Abroad abroad abroad, oya make una go oooo...

Guys trust me, there's NO PLACE LIKE HOME.

We may not have it all here but we have all the freedom and abundance we seek. Nigeria is the most blessed land in the universe. If the energy most people that travel abroad try and put it in here, not only would there be wealthy people here, Nigeria would also look better than it is now.

Pray for NIGERIA, put in your little effort and someday NIGERIA would be a reality of our dreams.

And to our leaders, it's either you SERVE the people or you step aside.

WE SAY NO TO BAD GOVERNANCE!

“Nigeria is the MOST blessed land in the universe”
Says the person who have never been overseas

KevinDein:

Your cousin is very much useful to himself and probably to those he thinks deserve something from him. You, on the other hand, are the useless one who sits his lazy assss here in Naija waiting for cousin, friend, brother etc to send you their hard earned pounds or dollars.

Go out there and make money yourself if you think it's that easy. No one fvcking owes your entitled asss anything.

I for vex if no one replied that guy aswear

ModestGal:

Toor, sorry ma, I never thought I was quoting a lady, I didn't even check the monicker before quoting it first, I thought men are the only NO CONSCIENCE crazy ones, was never expecting those kinds of words from a female ''God forbids you send a dime to your family members'', you are a waste of a child if you actually think ''God forbids you send a dime to your own parents & siblings''. I'm here crying for your parents, and think your parents and siblings are thinking of you as ATM machines.

Let me ask you a question, when you were growing up, were your parents ATM machines? Whoever the devil that gave you that mentality didn't do you well at all.
You should know that if you give, your wealth would increase and you will even be happier.

People like you always end up depressed, in fact, I'm seeing you ending with one already. If u can think that bad to your own family, I wonder if a friend or someone you don't even know should ask you money, they would receive the greatest insult of their life.
Change for your own good, don't change to your own detriment. By the time everyone around you start seeing you as crazy, stingy and wicked, you will start saying you don't have good family members abi?
Whether you help your people or not, they would make it in life. People who go blow go blow.

Ana akogheri
What nonsense are you blabbing on top another person sweat

SweetCunt97:
I know better now o

Lol okay

johhnnie:



I almost cried reading this. I made a fatal mistake of giving my contacts out in the first two years.

Please believe this, after about 3 years, I had a cause to send my bank statement to my account officer and she said I could get my statement my the bank app on my phone. I never realized this was possible.

So, out of curiosity, I decided to download my statement for the three years prior. What I found out brought tears to my eyes. I was weak. In three years at that time I discovered I had transferred at 27m ( twenty seven millions) in naira to my account in Naija over that period. And at least 96% of that money given out to friends and families.

No new investment whatsoever.

I also remembered that during thesame period, at the earlier stage, I needed money. So, a cousin helped me to sell my uncompleted (80% completed) student mini- hostel on a 4 plots of land unluckily at that time when $ was 500. Only a fraction of that money got to me here. A lot of hands dipped into the money that he became useless by the time it for here.

I work alot here. Sometimes, 3 straight days observing just an hour long rest from driving ( by the highway or anywhere the need need Forrest met me on the road). There was a time I slept in the car for a month. Before then, I dish washed for two days, did security for another month; having to stand up for 8 hours straight on etc.

Sometimes, going on for days without eating or bathing. All I would do was to enter a McDonald etc early morning to use my inner shirt to wipe my body. Smelling like rat. So haggardly looking and insane. Brushing by the side of the road.

It was really bad. Phone calls from my Naija kept coming with all sorts of demands; friends, families both know and unknown. Worst part, nobody contributed a dime for my travel. I had to sell my plot of land behind my personal house in ibadan to add up money.

It became crazy when I see people I send money to celebrating birthdays online with friends and family. Some take to club floors for celebrations. I also discovered that people I was sending money to in support of their businesses were building their houses without my knowledge. Here I am living in one room apartment. Sharing toilet, bathroom and tiny kitchen compared to what I had in my private residence in Naija.

I didn't know that all those 5k 100k 3k, 200k etc and even airtime top-ups from my boss revolution to Naija phone numbers were grossly adding up.

It's a lesson I learnt the hard way. You would think that the request would soon stop. It never will. There would always be requests. Some genuine and some made-up.

This is super emotional.
I am glad you learnt as do most of us.
While I was in school I was like this too.
Thankfully my tuition took most of it
I’m sure if I wasn’t a student I wouldn’t be able to save a penny then still
I didn’t know what changed but at a point something changed
See me working my ass off while someone goes off to trips and parties I had never been to because I dey abroad.. no way! At least not with my hard-earned money
I am as stingy as f**k right now and I am prouding it
I earn it. I keep it. I don’t owe anyone sh*t!

SweetCunt97:
He's an extravagant fellow biko. Patapata 500 dollars will go for monthly bills, 300 to send down to peeps here... Unless he has an ongoing project o.

Lmao 500 for rent abi for food.
Just curious.
Kpata kpata ko!

bizme:
God bless you for this balanced post.
It think it is a little misleading that things are better abroad. One, there are different kinds of abroad. Two, individual experiences in the abroad are different. We have those who are schooling abroad sponsored by family and having to do menial jobs to make ends meet. Then we have those who are working but literally scrubbing the streets and doing jobs that those in Nigeria would never want to do. We have those who have gone through different faces of hussling and have been established... We also have those (many actually) who are illegally in foreign countries and so cannot get decent minimum wage-paying jobs and who are living worse than when they were in Nigeria. The problem is, once people in Nigeria hear that you are abroad, they assume you have money literally rolling into your bags without any effort. So they start making demands. I have been there years ago when I was schooling/working abroad and I experienced all manner of ridiculous requests from acquaintances in Nigeria. But fortunately I had investment plans that were gulping almost the last cent I was making then, so it was impossible for me to dance to the fancies of those people. Some would ask me to send them laptops, HTC Wildfire (had just been released then), even to ridiculous things like arranging their relocation abroad... My church's pastor then asked me for N1million naira donation even though I was just a student supporting my monthly stipend with menial jobs like cleaning offices and all. Interestingly, that my pastor then happened to be a multi-millionaire in Nigeria, even at that time.

What were some of the investment plans that saved you money

omonnakoda:
susu,esusu

Oh okay

MrBigiman:
Very true. I decided to do my worst and not to send anyone for the past 7months, and I was surprised how much I saved.

More surprising was the fact that no one died or was homeless from me not sending any money to them

Abi o

cooltola:


You do not have to drive the best car in America , they sell used car that one can afford. They look nice, drive well


Financial discipline is key, even a wealthy man in Nigeria can lose money. It happened to my late relative who was wealthy back in the day who had a house and drove a Mercedes Benz, he died a broke man. Failure to invest your money can cause one to lose money.

Cutting unnecessary expenses help, stop eating outside too often in America. You know how much eating out cost. If you are not into gym, then avoid paying for gym. Exercise can be cheap

Avoid baby mama in America, because child support is expensive.

Do ajo in America, it works and it helps you save.

You can build house in Nigeria even when you work here in America

And most importantly, buying a house you can afford as long the area is safe,it is not by force to live in the expensive area or the happening places.

What is ajo

ModestGal:

Stingy man, I don't blame you, I blame where you were raised. This is why sometimes, I'm happy with friends God has attached me with and family. Even though I don't ask anyone of them any money, I know they would be happy to give me anytime.

So you call him a stingy man?
That makes you a beggar right!

Shikena:


In fact, Nigerians abroad should stop sending money home & learn how the economy of their resident countries work. Some Nigerians are making a killing everyday in America but most still need to learn to use the financial system without the Nigerian mindset. We need to learn from the Scots, Indians, Pakistanis, Chinese etc. Stop wasting good investment money on useless ventures in Nigeria. You can do that when you have a flourishing business abroad. Just my opinion.

Example of this useless ventures

Thingsvirtous19:
I can totally relate to point 5. Folks..take care of yourself oh. To buy 5k-10k slipper go dey hard me. But I can give out 20k without blinking. Is that life?

It was one of my sweet anty that I give money that yabbed me. She said to me.. Xyz you can give people money but you are stingy to yourself. She also told me to spent not recklessly but well enough to enjoy my money because people will always demand for it from me.

I am grateful for that pep talk. After I have saved and spent to satisfy myself..I can freely give the remaining without lying or feeling guilty.

I also havE special request from folks that no matter what.. I can suspend my "enjoyment" to satisfy them.

Also if relatives wants to borrow a huge sum of money and I have it to spare but I am afraid that it gonna cause rift when I try to recoup my money. I bring in a third party. Mostly fAKE documents stating that the third party lend the money and I am just a witness. God will help us all.

Thought it was just me with that no 5.
Lol I don change gan..
To give now sef dey hard me
I use it on myself anytime
And still learning..

zamie:

No. I didn't.

However, I achieved a sizeable percentage of that. I don't want to be specific.

The importance of setting a goal sometimes isn't to actually achieve it. The push and restlessness that setting a goal provides, is an important criteria for success.

We are in 2020 and my goals are bigger. Another question can be.. Have I achieved the same goal as at 2020

Sorry I didn’t think that far. Although I was only referring to your stock trading goal.
Just the thought of doing this is in itself a huge deal and I commend you for that.


All the best!

charlesELIKIBA:

all kicking great

You worked hard for yourself
For that, GOOD JOB!

And it’s true your Uncle is the foundation of your success. But you were a child and like some people mentioned now that you’ve grown, you need to recognize that.

Stop thinking about her. It will fade away
Be good to your cousins and your Mother.
Forgive yourself. Breathe.
It will all be okay

BurnStoner:
You had this childish entitlement growing up, You probably still hold a grudge you cannot identify or place a finger on; the only spiritual I would advise you go is prayers. Pray to God to simplify and make things easy for your hearts to understand, forgive and forgive. There’s no simple answer to your quest but then you probably should forgive her kids too.

He was a kid
Easy with the judgement

StrongandMighty:


Relief yourself from this entitlement syndrome &
leave the guy alone! He doesn't owe you anything and he deserves someone that's not entitled like you..
Make your own money and spoil yourself the way you want so you won't have any reason to create this kind of thread again

I doubt she made this thread solely on money
You didn’t see where the guy is as lazy as Bleep?!

IDENNAA:


Cc. Sarang

Its either you have comprehension problem or you are just a block head. If you had taken your time to peruse through the thread then you wouldn't write this trash. She was able to oppress the man because of a system that favors women against men but there are men you dont tamper with.

I would divorce her in a heartbeat and hopefully the grass would be greener for her on the other side. There is a very simple way to silence such idiotic women , but you must know the street.

Goan sit down.
Albert Einstein

After treating her like trash abi
Running mouth

Disclaimer: I AM NOT A SAINT AND MY WIFE IS NOT THE DEVIL. I HAVE JUST BEEN UNFORTUNATE TO BECOME A VICTIM OF MATRIARCHY WHICH MANY MEN SUFFER ABROAD...

I have been hustling abroad for a few years while wifey was working in Nigeria and living with children. Marriage has always been turbulent and we even almost got divorced after I travelled out. We somehow worked on our issues with the help of pastors, family and friends, and after a few years of ''roughing'' it abroad to pave way for them, I finally succeeded and my family arrived a few months ago.

I used to be hot tempered, but I have had enough time to gain insight into my inadequacies and reflect on them. I am now significantly calmer due to the determination to make my marriage better and as per ''abroad levels''. My wife on the other hand is fully taking advantage of me and the environment we find ourselves in. First thing she did on getting here was to cut of my entire family. She said she doesn't want to have anything to do with any of them anymore. She has also not been too keen to kickstart her career, as all she does is endless picture taking and editing for social media hyping. I know this might be due to the initial ''euphoria'' phase cos she is coming abroad to a big house, big car and having no limits on most things we used to manage back in Nigeria, and she thinks things are bread and butter. You would never think for a second that she is a married woman if you check her profiles on social media!

She has become even more toxic person than she ever was in Naija. Now very bossy, never backs down, always the attacker, ever ready for a fight, lazier, always on social media, communicates with me as little as possible, embarrasses me in the neighbourhood with the constant noises from our house, and finally her threats have now tripled! Madam is now so fierce that I have become the house chicken. Just within a few months of being here o! She tells me that she will show me for all the ''gra gra'' I used to do back in Nigeria. Friends advised me against bringing this woman here but I no wan hear word as per responsible family man wey I dey claim to be.

The popular threat is usually ''I will end your career''. I wasn't taking this too seriously initially, but she then started following through with the threats by constant calls to the police and other services, making spooky and baseless career ending accusations and allegations against me.

I have never been the one to first lay my hands on her, but I have spilled drinks on her before when she attacked me. My wife now gets very physical without having any element of self control, fear or restraint after the simplest argument and sometimes, she damages things out of anger. She does this so often and never hesitates to dare me to do my worst.

I discovered that she has signed up on dating sites and when I even caught her chatting about sex to a particular guy in our area, she said that it was all my fault. She did not apologise for this. She even referred to it one time after an argument that if I am convulsing like this over just a sex chat, she's waiting to see what I'd do when I see a man on top of her.

My productivity at work has declined significantly and I am now on the verge of depression. Neighbours called the police on us one time after a lot of noise from out house. She accused me of domestic violence. The police had to separate us and I was stuck at home for an extended period and could not go to work due to this. I am now being investigated for domestic violence, which is a serious crime as madam wants it and I have had to report the situation to my company! The whole thing is so messy that I am scared that I have not seen the worst yet.

I am so afraid of losing it all and returning to Nigeria broke cos I spent my last card and even racked credit card debt to bring them here hoping to pay off gradually. I still have a few years to get my citizenship and if I lose my job now, that is the end for all of us!

For now, I don't know what is going to happen to us, as this woman is so determined to cause great and irreparable damage that could ruin our lives, just to get back at me and she is being cheered on by her family and friends.

THE SITUATION IS SO MESSED UP!

UPDATE:

Divorce has now been filed. I also recently got lucky as I was able to secure a restraining order when she messed up again and hit me daring me to do my worst. I called the police and made a proper case and she was arrested. She has been banned from the house for a month. The police advised me to talk to my lawyer and extend indefinitely if I want to. I hope to get this done ASAP. The law here does not only protect women but also protects innocent men. All you need is patience and wisdom. Thank you all for your ideas. Still several hurdles to cross but I am on the winning side for now.

You are not a SAINT and your WIFE ISN’T too
Divorce her
She is probably better off marrying someone else

etrange:


I wouldn't want a fellow man's career or hustle to be ruined. But the fact is that we are not saints (as the OP also admitted) so we would also like to know how he contributed to the problem. The woman is not here to defend herself and all the OP could say is "I'm not saint". Well, his wife is also not a saint. If he's going to detail all the wife's short comings, he should detail his own too and let us decide who who more 'unsaintly'. I'm not siding the wife (why would I side her?) but this story is totally not objective, not even one bit. This is the kind of story you write when people around you don't agree with your actions so you come online to seek moral support.

@bolded, like I said earlier, even a bad woman wants a rich and successful husband. Like someone said, 'even Jezebel didn't mess with her husband's prosperity'. So why would she come to America with the sole aim of destroying her husband's career? How logical is that? Her actions might be destroying the man's career, no doubt; but like I said, it's not likely that's what she is out to achieve. Something must have triggered her actions but the OP summarised that "something" as "I am not a saint" and then went on to pain his wife in red. Why not tell is how "you are not a saint"? I'm sorry, bro. I'm just not riding with that lack of objectivity.

Exactly! He probably treated her like trash in Nigeria and still is and came here to cry foul

etrange:


I am a man. I have my pride. I have my ego. I just try to keep them in check and try to be as fair as the imperfections of my human nature would allow.

You are a good mahn and there is no way on earth with this good head on your shoulder that you will not have a good marriage

zamie:
If you are a doubting Thomas, then just stop reading and move on. I don't need your phone numbers or email. I'm only sharing an experience that might help someone out there.

I love sectioning my investments into three Markets:

1. Capital Market
2. Commodity Market
3. Knowledge Market

They are called markets because life is all about exchange(buying and selling). The most popular of the three in investment talks is the capital market. This includes stocks, bonds, T-Bills, forex, mutual funds, fixed deposits and the likes. The commodity market is built on owning assets most commonly lands and buildings which is often called Real Estate. Investing in Gold is also part of the commodity market. The knowledge market involves getting yourself educated. Yes, your mind is an investment and it can yield tremendous benefits.

It's right for me to say I have tried out most investment options. However, I made the above amount in a day investing in the Nigerian Stock Market.

Now to the details. I got into stock Trading in 2016. To be frank, when I made my first trade I saw - 7.7% in my portfolio, meaning my money was dissapering. But, thank God I later sold out @ - 1.3%. Ever since then I swore never to put my money into stocks again.

Then came 2017, I usually read a lot of articles online especially Bloomberg. I have consumed different kinds of information on finance. Because, I really want to achieve FINANCIAL INDEPENDENCE. There is a book called The Intelligent Investor by Benjamin Graham. This book really helped me a lot. All of a sudden, I felt a new courage to try out stocks again. This was around November last year. Being that this was close to Christmas period, I decided to keep my money till the next year.

February 2018, I started to read into Nigerian companies. The Banking sector seemed to be doing well so I focused mainly on this sector. I use Meristem for trading. I could register online and trade instantly online(I am not marketing them). I loaded my account and after much prayers traded Zenith Bank. The rest was magic...

I don't earn this amount daily. But I earn more than this weekly. Some of you might be thinking, how much did I invest. Well I won't explicitly state it but it's obviously more than a million.

Warning: investing in the Nigerian Stock Market is a dangerous game and involves expertise. But if you are like me and love dangerous, then hop on lets make cool cash.

I've set a new target to make 25,millon naira as profit b4 this year runs out.

If you have any similar experience, kindly share.

So did you achieve your goal of 25m in 2018?

He is very unreasonable

The people he is sending money to have built their houses and he is still renting..
Is this not wickedness

To commenter above, has he not paid enough for whatever sacrifices?

If he happen to die tomorrow now his kids will start suffering and forgive me when I say his siblings would probably not give a shit!

I hope he doesn’t poison you.
Don’t let him stay in your house.
Treat him the same way he treated you..
After all, the initial goodness your parents did for him did not change him. Yours won’t now.
He might end up killing you even..

AVOID HIM.

emyrald91:


I am very sure, they were unprotected sex

Lol soon if they ask him for abortion money now, come and see another long..

“Keep me anonymous.”

Genset:




Don't mind the broke stingy goat. Girl wey give u sex, come cook and clean join. He dey here dey whine cos of ordinary 3k. See, my naija girls make una give una brain. Make it harder for this guys to get to ur honey pot so that dey appreciate it better. Make him spend on you babes before anything .

I swear to God some girls take crap!!
I don vex taya..

Especially with those calling her materialistic!
7k materialistic ko! Materialism ni!

Obidiugwu:
From my own observation, no money no love for Nigeria girls nowadays,no more true love,brother if you are ready to involve yourself in a relationship, be ready to spend because that is the only language they understand generally. They will carry all their personal and family problem come!

Did anyone ask you make you no geh money?
Gbafue gi there!

Why do you keep chasing them for sex
Osho free okwaya

Ina apu ala!

farous:
Bros drop this girl now. Who do you this. Undergraduate with materialistic and too dependency attitude. Go and find better babe that can help you actualize your vision together

Mechie onu nsi there!
How is she materialistic?!

7thousand?
7k and she is materialistic?!

Onye ala!!

evil1:


That girl obviously likes u even before you asked her to visit you.
Oga stop wasting that girls time.
Calling everyday builds a relationship more stronger and keeps communication level in check.
There is nothing wrong dating an undergraduate butvif its marriage it's the wrong option.
But I can notice from your writeup that your a stingy guy hiding under pretence of conservation.

So STINGY!
AIRTIME 500 Naira he SAID NO even when he can!
Chukwu aju!!

goodman41:
I met her when she came for her IT at my place of work. One day I collected her number but I didn't call her till she finished her IT and went back to school.

One day I called to inform her that I will like us to go into a relationship which she accepted. I told her that l'm not looking for a girlfriend but a wife. I asked her if she has a boyfriend but she said yes but she will never marry the guy because there are some things she will consider in terms of marriage.

I called her to visit me but she was doing promise and fail. I told her that I'm not inviting her for sex that sex is nothing for me. She said okay, that I should send transport money, I tried using my phone to transfer 2k for her but it was not going, so I told her that it was not going she said I should go and use ATM but I told her that I don't have that time that she should borrow from her roommate and come or she should forget about coming until when I will be able to use my phone to do the transfer. So that evening she called that she will come the next day being Sunday that she borrowed money from her roommate.

When she came on Sunday I put movie for her and kept my self busy with my laptop, she started feeling sleepy which I told her to go and sleep on the bed which she went, after I was through with my laptop I asked her if I can join her she said yes, I now joined her in the bed before we knew it we started kissing and romancing each other and we had sex.

After the sex she said that but you told me you don't like sex I told her I like sex but I don't take it serious. She said okay I understand. I now took her out spent like 3k, the following morning I gave her 4k for her transport and she was happy.

After one week she called that I should send her airtime I told her that am not sending she said okay without being angry, when she visited for the second time she asked why did I refuse to send her card I told her that I don't like sending card to people she said okay. So am seeing her as people, i told her don't worry any time I feel like I will send to her, but she said if i send it that she will send it back to me.

I asked her about her boyfriend she said that she has ended the friendship but my mind is telling she is lying, she cleaned my house and cooked for me before going back to school that she doesn't want me to be eating outside, she asked me to give her money to do hair which I gave her 3k for both her transport and the hair, she said the money is small but she Will add her own so she collected it without any issue.

Am not the type that use to call every day but she asked me to be calling her every day to make our relationship grow stronger, she was telling me the other day that she will visit me one day without telling me to see if I have another girl.

Please is this girl really serious with this relationship or she just wants to use me?

I don’t mean to be rude but how is she using you?

She cooked for you!
Cleaned your room!
Gave you sex! And yet even when you gave her just 3k that wasn’t enough for her she took it and didn’t COMPLAIN!

You gave her 7k and She is using you?!
Are you kidding me!!
Did you even APPRECIATE her?! Is she your MAID!!
Damn Nigerian men!

You ARE USING HER if you don’t know!

You are just fine
You are very empathic and that is a very endearing and beautiful quality

The ability to put yourself in other’s shoes.
You are not just a man. You are a gem.