₦airaland Forum

You’re nice but not smart

No one deserves that actually. It’s traumatizing

Nice. OBO

SenecaTheYonger:
So your GF is chatting with no man?

Safe to conclude your brain works like that of woman .

Mindlog:
If the OP happens to be Caucasian, will you offer this same advice?

This is Africa , Nigeria specifically. I’ll advice her based on the reality of my environment. A Caucasian married to a Nigeria here will get same advice from me.

Goztino:
I use to have this mindset until I traveled to Germany for my masters.
Then I realized the following .
1. Most nigerians are very selfishand waiting like vultures to start billing you but can't contribute for your success when you need their help, so they don't actually deserve any shit from you.
When I wanted 4.5million to complete my block account money, I met almost all the rich guys in my place for loan but none of them gave me one kobo, they were all giving flimsy excuses.
Some of them even made mockery of me and told me to learn to cut my coat according to my size. Most of my classmates also faced the same shit when they tried to ask for help.
Only my immediate family members actually showed concern.
My parents emptied their little bank account, my siblings didn't have money but they showed concern and supported me spiritually.
But all the outsiders were giving excuses and watching from a distance.
Now, how do you think the person will quickly give a damn about anyone outside his immediate family members when nobody outside his immediate family gave him a damn when he needed their help? [/b]
2. The bills abroad is much and many people after paying them don't feel like getting billed from outsiders who don't really give a damn about them and who would turn their back on them when you need any slightest help from them .
3. Those abroad don't actually owe you nothing. As brutal as this might sound, but that's the fact.
People usually harvest what they sow. Now ask yourself how much you have sowed in the life of that person you are billing?

1. If I were to be your friend when you needed money to complete your block account, I’ll do it provided I have it ( I recently did something similar for a friend , not block acct money specifically, but I came through for him in my little way ) so you’re very wrong for saying most Nigerians, some is more appropriate .

2. The bills abroad is much and many people after paying them I think this is a valid reason , this rest of your point no.2 doesn’t add up.
You can’t tell me you were able to stand on your feet yourself or with the help of your family alone the moment you got to Germany . I believe at some point, outsider helped you , if they had the mentality of ’ me and my family’ , chances are that you might still be struggling till now. People don’t have to be useful to you before u help them if it’s comfortable for you . You were once like them and someone came through for u too. You can deny that to feel good as much as you want .

3.
Those abroad don't actually owe you nothing. As brutal as this might sound, but that's the fact.
maybe to those that didn’t contribute to their life during the time they were in Nigeria , but if they did, You owe them a lot of thank you except you’re ingrate!
You need to extend your goodness beyond your family and people that helped u alone .

All these you’ve said, you just took me out of context. I was not talking about people living abroad in general , I was specific, I said uk people I know people in USA and Canada and they don’t behave the same way.
Most uk people I know behave like that to their families too. So what’s the justification here? I’ll only agree if you say the bills over there are too much on them.



You asked how much did I contribute to those I’m talking about. I did for one of them.

I will be damn honest with you, I came through for her when she was struggling in Nigeria ( in all honesty ,although she has family over there, I didn’t know she was processing uk then, so I was not directly involved in the process) but I did help her out to sort out little little things back then .


Now she don sojunu
, maybe the bills is too much on her, I won’t blame her . But virtually all uk people I know that’s how they behave.








Finally, not having entitlement mentality doesn’t mean I won’t know who’s is stingy o.


I’m doing very well for myself , so financially I don’t think I can need their help.

Most people I help on here in my little way, I don’t owe them anything o, and I pay bills too. Most that have helped me on here don’t owe me anything too and they pay bills





You can see I personalized it. It’s based on my experience.
If it’s comfortable for you, it’s good to be nice to people in general . God bless u sir.




@ oknm if you’re reading this thread . Shout out to you o , na brother u be

Lots of inconsistencies in your story but I will not talk nor take side. You women mostly talk bad about your hubby and Inlaw, una no Dey ever gree say una wrong.

You keep on hammering on “ my husband always support his family “ , this alone shows the kind of person you are, you sha want to paint him bad so that we go condemn him for u, Abi?
Truth is when everyone complains about you, then you’re the problem..


Anyway, Talk to your lovely husband, deflate your ego and kneel before him ( if you like say lai lai u no fit kneel down !), don’t make it seem like you hate his family , make him understand the importance of privacy in una marriage .. trust me , he’ll listen to you , he loves you .


He should be man enough to take charge of his home .
he’s in the right position to do that not you. Even though you people need privacy, still be less domineering , be more accommodating especially when it involves your in law.
except the marriage don tire you o,

Forget social media, our expectations don’t always match the reality and most people that go through worst will come here to massage your ego by saying “ don’t take shit from anybody ” .


Don’t always use what you read on social media as a standard for your marriage.
As a smart woman, use the situation to your advantage, please there is nothing outside o.



May God bless your home and give you wisdom .



That being said, my advice to single ladies out there, always ensure the family you’re marrying to loves you ( even though they can’t hate you for no reason )

I love news like this

SenecaTheYonger:
Most people here saying that she shouldn’t have replied are people that take social media screenshot as real fact.

An example is the image below, probably written by some masturbator but people with one-brain cell will read it and take it as fact just because Future’s face is on it.

There are many truths in this word, one truth cannot apply to 3 billion women. Engaging the guy in a chat doesn’t mean her mind is there. And it’s not every chat that leads to sex, unless you’re saying you’ve fvcked every woman you chat with.

Please guys start thinking for yourselves, don’t allow whatsapp screenshots to think for you.

you’re right. But a woman’s brain doesn’t work like that . Trust me.

80% of time , marriage doesn’t worth the stress.

The only reason I want to marry is because I don’t want my kids to be raised by single parent.

Ok

Ok o. Professor that doesn’t exist

That’s why, you need to be mindful of what you do today cos it might stand against you tomorrow.

Tbh, I don’t want to believe that tape is real . this yes daddy of a thing is funny o.
How person as old as Peter obi go Dey cry for validation. That’s desperate and pretentious. Honestly speaking this doesn’t go down well with me. And which one is ‘your people ‘ and ‘religion war’
Anyway , this is politics, you gaz devise your own strategies just that him strategies look childish .

Chai. All politicians are the same, I can never vouch for any of them


That being said, Peter obi supposed sue person wey bug him phone, is that not invasion of privacy ?

Seems you no one pay wetin u collect , you kon Dey find who to carry join body .
Oga go and pay your money o. I know your adress for mowe o

That covenant university na better school sha with fine fine structures

How much the pay ?

Itohan22:
32,000 naira. We can arrange delivery tomorrow you in Lagos

you’re wicked!
You still one sell at black market rate. Something wey be say you yourself no no the usefulness until you’re told and read it online

SyrusdeHansome:
Be grateful 4 having a cousin that has the hrt to send u stuff frm abroad. We knw how they normally behave

most especially in uk . Virtually everyone wey I know living in uk Dey Dey stingy . As in extremely stingy. I don’t know if stinginess is peculiar to UK.. dem no be like guys in USA and Canada .

abhosts:
Payday is a very useless and unethical company. Patronize them at your own risk.

I Funded my Dollar Virtual card with them but all payment transactions were declined with 'Insufficient Funds' response, despite have more that enough balance. So I asked them to refund my money but they started dribbling me and playing dumb. I was shocked when I visited their Twitter page to find out lots of their customers where facing same problem and being ignored by useless Payday support.

Did you transfer the money to your usd card? It happened to me when I wanted to make payment online , this went on for days until I discovered that . I moved the money to my virtual card and the transaction later went through . Note that swapping to usd is different from card top up o.

This life, patience and wasting time look identical.








No free money anywhere

@op femmyfamous4u, most of these ladies are like that .

Bro, no matter what, ensure you save atleast 20% of your monthly income. Set aside money for gas/transport and little change to enjoy yourself at work , spread the rest on bills and foodstuff, if there’s ‘extra’ give it to her. But ensure the 20% is taken out the moment you recieve salary, make una know how una go manage the 80%..

The thing is, a woman will put you into trouble and still blame you for not being smart enough .


I won’t really blame you that you ignored the flag, truth is 90% of men do. But e never spoil .



Also as it is now, she doesn’t seem like an understanding person so your best bet is to adjust your standard of living to 40% below your income.
If you’re earning 200k monthly , tell her you make only 150k if need be. Out of that 150k, still cut 20% out for savings and make do with 120k. Most of them don’t like it when you have extra money for yourself, you gaz be 5 steps ahead .

EriMma1:
I'm not saying he should empty his purse for her. A little cash from time to time will go a long way. It will make her feel cherished and loved.

But from the look of thing , largest part of his earnings goes to paying house bills . And I know as a woman, you still expect your man to have investments/savings for the future and plan ahead on how you’ll take care of kiddos.

With all this, knowing fully well he barely has anything left , would you still expect him to give you ‘extra cash’ time to time while you’re working and literally don’t contribute financially to house upkeep?.



Teach me how to navigate this.

EriMma1:
This is why I'll never marry an average income earner because they can complain and press calculator? See all of them here. Calculator pressers.
That is why i advise men not to get married until they have a high income job, to avoid all this kind of headache but no, that small thing dangling under can't wait to start eating what the big boys are eating. They just jump enter marriage with 120k salary and start punching calculator here and there.

So when it comes to giving your wife money, mathematics go enter am?. You can't give her money to maintain that same body you mount every now and then? Na him you turn financial expert seeker/adviser.? SMH. This generation of men have lost it.

Na this kind things make marriage no dey hungry me again because if all a man can offer is to panel-beat my body and not care whether knots and bolts don dey loose or find it difficult to give me when I request, then ill rather live singularly, work and take care of myself without stress or any body knacking me up and down with no benefits or care. abi you wan dey chop me make i no chop you back? Damn! Na wa o.

Oga, give her pocket money. Na that one she go take know say she marry. Men are supposed to spend on their wife's, working class or not. That is why igbos name their wifes Oriakum, "eater of my wealth". It is your obligation to spend on her. I'm guessing you're Yoruba otherwise mouth no go gree you come talk this kind thing outside. I'm sure all your supporters here na Yoruba men. Kobojunkie number one.

from the look of thing , he doesn’t have extra money to cater for her ‘wants’.
He already pays all the bills ,

Now, are you suggesting he gives all to his wife in order to make her happy while neglecting savings and investments with the remaining money for their prospective children?

Are you saying he should basically live to please her and ignore plans for their future ?

I’m eager to learn from you

I don’t want to believe the audio is real .

enemyofprogress:
also, she get brain pass you

It’s possible

She fit get better writing pass me self ..

pocohantas:
Mouka comfy is a very uncomfortable . The way I feel about Hisense is how I feel about it. Any ADULT buying it should prepare for back pain.

No vex, Sir. I know you are just doing your business, but that mattress is horrible.

hmm, pls what do you feel about Hisense? Especially the ac and fridge?

ONNYX:
No it doesn't.

She was staying her experience with that brand. Nothing wrong with that. In fairness to the lady this isn't the first time she has de-marketed Mouka Comfy (note that she specifically referred to Mouka Comfy and not other Mouka brands).

On the strength of her derision for

Enter a proper Mouka Representative outlet and you will confirm this position.

Thanks Poco for being firm in your resolve to provide enlightenment to otherwise ignorant members of this forum.

We need to learn from every opportunity.


And

#No to all Hisense Products.

Hmm please what’s the reason for the bolded?

Na small small church e go affect. But churches accept transfer

Yes. I opened account with uba cos of wizkid .