₦airaland Forum

Kobojunkie:
Which kain trance we go call this one now?

And what in the world is is holy stick?

Valwezzy:
I don dey suspect you, how you take know say weed dey make person think outside the box?

buygala:
Righties learnt how to wash nyansh with their left hand


Righties use the trafficator switches with the left hand...

Righties press the clutch with their left foot while driving manual cars

Righties steer with their left hands while changing gears with their right hand in manual cars


When we men want to press/carress brezz, we do so with both hands...I am yet to hear of anyone complaining of a weak left or right hand when it comes to things as particularly necessary as handling brezz ...in that circumstance, both hands work perfectly...

Leftie wey dey use right hand unhook bra wey get 4 tight hooks na im u dey ask how e dey take drive vehicles with right hand-configured steering, gear and pedals ...the same God wey make am fit dey unhook bra with him right hand even in total darkness, na im make way for am to drive cars comfortably


Point is...the brain has a way of making our dormant limbs adapt to tasks that our dominant limb isn't in any position to do comfortably..necessity na the mother of invention I guess

pocohantas:
Hmmm.
We never give little things like this a thought. I would love to read from them.

OP, how your mind take reason this thing? Did you just finish smoking weed?

ProphetJeroboam:
They probably collab like they did with Job in the Bible.

Lemmy123:
Dude.. You got me reeling with laughter


On a good day, I'm not a bad boy, I always measure my behavior. Babe could be clean minded, besides, I didn't want to betray the trust she had in me. People say I'm too calm, what can I say?
Doesn't change the fact that it the arrangement has been for lashing, there would have been no mercy. I just like keeping things neutral when they are intended to be neutral

Starships4u:
This feels exactly as my own experience....
My second time going to Ore from Ekiti...
Thank God I didn't get to collect her number...

I'd have been a dead meat.

Lemmy123:
Read all the comments here and mehn I must say I'm really entertained by the comments.. I don laf tire, Nairaland helps me fight depression, all I have to do is come here and read funny and nasty things and I forget I ever had a problem...


For me, it disgraced me once, the one I remember was when a girl in my neighborhood, a self acclaimed bestie of mine, came to visit one evening, and in her playful nature she started to beat me on some parts of my body until I decided to return the playful slaps too, which resulted in a pillow fight ( we were actually on my bed and God knows I had no canal intentions prior) she climbed on top of me in the spirit of the pillow fight and started to hit me with one of my pillows. I swear I wasn't thinking straight anymore at this point, she was literally sitting on my groin, to cap it all, she was putting on a leggings, the kind that accentuated their cameltoes. I almost died, I could feel tiny droplets of semen , I had to pretend to be concentrating on the fight but God knows I was long gone.. deeek was wood hard and worst thing was I was putting on a jersey short.. I wondered how come she didn't notice the bulge, or maybe she did but didn't want to embarrass me...

It's not about being a pervert, at least I never bargained for it but the rush of blood that caused the erection was heavenly

XXXXTENTACION:
Will Smith is a Simple man....

ChiefSosa:
Will smith is a fvcking moron_that deserves no pity, and I say this with all love.
Someone like Jada should be thanking God everyday that Will smith even knows she exists. This is WILL SMITH we are talking about; one of the best black actors of our lifetime. Someone that attained godlike positions, especially during his 'Men in Black' days. The reason people talk about Jada is cause of will. I'm seriously baffled that someone like Will smith will be going through this, especially in the hands of Jada. Someone like will smith should be hanging around super exclusive females. Jada is really making will smith look like a complete fool. Jada really belongs to the streets.
The only way I'll believe Will smith is taking all her nonsense is if he didn't sign a Prenup and he's afraid Jada will take all he's money and assets.

Lol. That's not love bro, that's pure and undiluted stupidity. Jada is someone that use to sell drugs and hang around guys like 2PAC. Will picked her up, helped her get her life together and even married her. Rather than being eternally grateful and behaving herself, she still went ahead to have sexual relationships that lasted months with a guy that is old enough to be her son. Imagine! This is Will smith she's treating like this o.

Emvico34:
Holy ghost fire

Jeon:
dark angel

Adejoncy01:
So, I came across a thread which a man was discussing the looks of Angels with numerous pictures that look terrifying like the one below. Do Angels really look like this?

Let's learn...

BKsoul:
I know one.... her name is Mercychen ....

cassidy1996:
please what's the meaning of lobatan?

lewis512:
There is this man I assume he will be in his early 60s in my area that I always see logged in to nairaland anytime I go to the viewing centre, at first i was surprised and wondering if it's really worth the surprise because of the the way things go on here, the bashing, dragging, tribal abuse and insults. Just wondering a younger boy would have been bashing the old man and wont know he is talking to someone his grandfather's age.

Kindly share if you have seen an older person on Nairaland

Freelane33:
They never confirm if the remains they saw his him . stop spreading damn fake news

FlipModeSquade:
How exactly do you release a suspect driving a missing man's car?

How exactly did he end up with the car?

AfroKnight:
This is one of life’s mysteries. You would begin to wonder how on earth she manages to switch personas.

Our ancestors don talk am: don’t judge a book by its cover.

ProphetJeroboam:
Mine was during church service, an all night to be specific. It was 2am and we were all seated. Guest preacher was preaching and I was enjoying his preaching but the devil didn’t like that. I was 19 and I had just recently gotten into pornography. All of a sudden my mind became filled with images of the last porn video I watched, an Asian girl with big t*ts getting rammed by an Asian man with a small p*nis, this is one of my go to section when I surf on Xvideos. I tried to fight but a voice told me, this man is probably going to preach for longer than this so why not enjoy this and take it a step further by imagining these young teenage choir girls naked ,that was when I knew I was finished. My d*ck became hard as rock! Then a familiar voice jolted me back to reality, it was the preacher. He pointed at me and said “you come” . Like how on God’s Earth!!! I froze! My d*ck was still hard as rock! He said to me again “Rise up” , at this point the whole congregation turned heads to my direction. I knew there was little I could do to salvage the situation but I had to think fast. I could feel my parents glance dancing all over me like “Stand up now” , All of this was happening in 1-2 minutes but my brain was processing the event at 5000 nanoseconds. If I acted like I was possessed, I risked ruining my reputation especially amongst the young choir girls I was trying to catch them young. Then all of a sudden a thought came “stomach ache” , I stood up slowly and bent down, everyone was looking at me, Preacher asked “Usher help me find out what’s wrong with my boy” , when the usher came , I whispered that I was having stomach pains and I couldn’t stand erect. Usher gave the message to preacher and preacher left the pulpit to where I was, laid his hands on my abdomen and prayed for me while trying to use his hand to straighten my posture but for where! I no gree! It was like I was on viagra that night. After praying, he anointed my head and asked me to sit and service continued. Mehn I was so relieved! I can still remember the scowl of disgust on my parents face but I no send oh. When we got home in the morning, my dad woke us up for morning devotion and I was the whole topic of morning devotion preachings. I was the disobedient child who embarrassed his parents! My mom didn’t spare me either. They both attacked me and scolded me so much I felt like I was going to give up on Asian girls with big t*ts porn getting rammed by men with tiny dicks. Your guess is as good as mine, this is 2021 and I still watch it.

ayenale1:
During a prayer section in our church then...a woman came and tap me that guy control yourself...i felt embarassed though and i went out and came in after 10min

placeofallure:
Sake, what's up?

Canvass:
Back in those days I was in OAU. I stayed off campus on Ondo Road. Jejely I boarded one of those town-Igboro mini-buses going on to campus on my gross anatomy incourse exam day. My head was vibing trying to memorize the 12 cranial nerves but I couldn't help noticing this indegene girl beside me rubbing her ripe bweasts on my arms. Small time now, mini-me sprung into action. I threw caution to the wind and groped her to my satisfaction. At least, she gave me a relief from exam pressure.
Then came the time to alight and I realised I was all tucked in with starched-shirt in straight pants. Mini-me was jutting out crazily. I got down and realised the tenting was so obvious I got a couple of unwelcomed glances. I had to quickly cover my fly with my lab coat. Even with the lab coat shielding me, an elderly lady looked straight into my eyes and smiled wickedly. I was so embarrassed I wished I could disappear.

SisterFire:
...Omgeez honeypie very simple ...show me the entities then if I haven't seen them or their ancestors

I shall la indicate OK?

tobechi20:
Ever had an erection in church ?

Alusiizizi:
Dear Fellow Biafrans,
Make no mistake, the second civil war of the Federal Republic of Nigeria has begun. I saw this coming many months ago. I knew the exact date and location that this war will begin. I knew that it would be in Anambra state, my state. Fellow Biafrans, you can no longer afford to remain spectators on the sidelines, you can no longer afford to remain innocent civilians. The time has finally come to shore up loyalty to your Fatherland. I hope this message finds you well.

mrksquare:
If they charge #300 in my area of Port Harcourt, what makes you think in Ekiti they can charge #200. Meanwhile from my area to Rivers state Government House is a 15 minutes drive. So that you don't have the notion that I stay in the interior area of Rivers state.

We often time downplay the importance of cost leadership strategy.

And also do take heed that as challenging as our power supply situation is, there are some area that have a minimum of 7hours power supply in a day in Nigeria. So if the barber doesn't make money through his generator, he just might compensate for the loss with public power supply.

Samuelriano1:
is the price of fuel not same nation wide? now you mentioned per capital income, so you mean a person will trek or take bike to buy let's say a little of fuel 162 naira and then cut a customers hair for 200 naira , thereby having a gain of 38 naira, not even enough to buy half bag of water. if that person cuts 10hair with that 1litre, that's an income of 380naira now remove the money for fuel from thAt 380 naira, and tell me if the stress is worth it sir?

Tonymegabush1:
Omo the day I used 1k barb for my street here in 042 I swear not to enter that salon again ..

Amotolongbo:
Civil servants are the ones setting the country backward most due to their indolence and stealing.

No public servants can steal public funds without the help of the civil servant in the cadre of Director and PS.

But seems this number of “houses recovered by the ICPC from the civil servants” could be exaggerated

dominicson:
It

Kannakanna Kan, kowe Kan, eyin ororo oojo Kan, atare Kan, ewe afeloru, if burnt and used once, everything, the same day, with gin, will definitely bring whoever uses it money. No doubt. But I will never tell you it can bring 10m because it has once done for someone, because it has also returned just the capital invested for another person.

doggedfighter:
So the yeye painter painted even the Logo.

SisterFire:
...Let's watch and see if that spiritual bonds are broken( if true ,good for him cos his luck comes to me )
Tell the american that not all hater of hers are under me or my sisters . Any female even male who hated her is a lesbian in a cult.

...greetings and bonjour